RE: please describe a punishment session. i'm confused.

RE: please describe a punishment session. i'm confused. (Full Version)

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Karada -> RE: please describe a punishment session. i'm confused. (11/24/2005 9:22:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus Point taken. However, if you get a group of female dominants together, I can assure you that punishing their submissives will not be on their top ten topics of conversation. I have yet to be in a group of male dominants where punishment was NOT discussed. A synergistic effect, the result of too much testosterone in a given space. Consider that the dom has become what he is because he enjoys holding power, then consider further that this facet of his personality is the central core of much of what he does. He doesn't simply desire power, he needs to have it - needs to maintain control - needs to be the one in charge. This applies in a very direct sense with one's submissive, but it applies just as much with other men, if more obliquely much of the time. Punishment comes up because it's a topic that each dom can relate directly to, as well as being a way to show off. A dick-size competition, once removed. We give in to our machismo and illustrate our strength, our power, and our virility by detailing punishments meted out at the end of our whips. And heaven forbid if our local football team is doing well that year; you'll never hear the end of it. (That, too, becomes a means for us to express our personal dominance..) ;) - k

SlayerZ -> RE: please describe a punishment session. i'm confused. (11/24/2005 9:51:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: caitlyn I don't get "punishment" at all. If you want to kneel on rice because it makes your master hot or you hot, or makes you feel submissive ... that's cool. If you want to be spanked, because the two of you like the physical power transfer ... that's cool too. If you want rough anal sex, because it makes you feel naughty and helpless or whatever ... that's totally cool. But punishment? Tell your master to get a fucking dog!!! Can't argue with any of that. Totally agree. If you feel like the punishment is too severe, then express your feelings to him. If he ignores you and punishes you for being "disrespectful" again, then I say walk. If he doesnt respect your opinion and your feelings, then he clearly seeks a slave that doesnt have any.

IronBear -> RE: please describe a punishment session. i'm confused. (11/24/2005 11:31:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SlayerZ quote: ORIGINAL: caitlyn I don't get "punishment" at all. If you want to kneel on rice because it makes your master hot or you hot, or makes you feel submissive ... that's cool. If you want to be spanked, because the two of you like the physical power transfer ... that's cool too. If you want rough anal sex, because it makes you feel naughty and helpless or whatever ... that's totally cool. But punishment? Tell your master to get a fucking dog!!! Can't argue with any of that. Totally agree. If you feel like the punishment is too severe, then express your feelings to him. If he ignores you and punishes you for being "disrespectful" again, then I say walk. If he doesnt respect your opinion and your feelings, then he clearly seeks a slave that doesnt have any. Girl breaches a rule..Girl is ordered (nakid) to fetch slave whip.... Girl is tied to whipping post.... Girl receives ten strokes of said slave whip... Girl is released from bonds.... Girl kneels to kiss the whip.... Girl then on her knees returns the whip to it's appointed place on the wall. Simple isn't it. No questions no discussion.... But then the girl would be a kajira if she were mine anyway.

Wolf1020 -> RE: please describe a punishment session. i'm confused. (11/24/2005 11:54:46 AM)
I don't agree with the concept of no punishment. Now are some punishments over the top? Sure. Everyone is different everybody is a person that doesn't change because they are a sub or a slave, that being the case different punishments work for different people. If a physical punishment is what is the order of the day for one couple, fine. If something mental for another couple, fine. If it is just a look and knowing that your master is displeased is enough, just as well. I agree that punishment shouldn't necessarily be dealt out in anger. But the concept to me of no punishments simply isn't a part of my beliefs within D/s. A submissive should tell me if something I do she can't handle, keeping in mind the difference of not like and not handle since the concept of punishment is you aren't supposed to like it. If she truly can't handle the punishment we talk and we either figure out a way to make it so she can handle it or I will think of another way to punish her. But to simply state that punishment isn't part of the equation doesn't exist in my D/s world in some shape or form depending on the individual submissive and what works best with her. If you are a sub and it exists in yours then that you are welcome to, but it sure don't in mine. That said a dominant that refuses to acknowledge his submissive's concerns might be one to walk away from. If part of his punishment is making you kneel on rice for twenty minutes is something you just can't handle bring it up and he should acknowledge it either by lessoning the time you are on there or by replacing it with something else. And if it literally injures beyond some bruising, scrapes, etc then he should probably be picking that up himself. If not then maybe it is time you part ways. But again, to me punishment is something very real in the lifestyle it just depends on the submissive as to what type of punishment is best.

allalone47 -> RE: please describe a punishment session. i'm confused. (11/24/2005 12:04:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: snowgirlsub i had a Dom for about 6 months and he only punished me when he felt it was needed. however i felt his punishments were to harsh. I deleted part of what was said do to I believe it was filler. These are the main points thaat I do believe that need to be answered. If the punshiment is believe to be to harsh, than It might be. But a slave has no place to ask, a sub does. If you are a sub than talk about it , and work it out with your Master if a slave than ask permission and than if granted do the same, if no permission is gien than you have a distion to make. here are my questions- is this too harsh of a punishment does punishment lead to sex is anal sex a form of punishment i think the anal was a way for him to express his power over me. please help. I am going to answer the last on of these four first do to it is the easyest. It is if the slave doesn't like anal sex, how ever even if she does it can be if she isn't not plesured in the act do to how it is done. If your Master does it with out you being plesured before finishing and than he quits and leaves you unsadisfied thatn it was punishment and yes he was exurting his control over you. Was the punishment to harsh. If you are harmed and hreal harm is done to you, you, like you bleeding after or thereare welts that do't go away in a few min, or hrs but are there the nest day than yes it was to harsh. And last does punishmet lead to sex. It all depends on the Master or Misstress Dom or Domme. In many it does and sometimes the only reason for the punishmet is for sex . Some times you Master will find something wrong when there realy is't just to punish you so as to have sex as part of it.

IronBear -> RE: please describe a punishment session. i'm confused. (11/24/2005 12:55:10 PM)
The most efficient punishment I use, is the evil dreaded corner. The girl is required to kneel (on a mat) and face the corner with out ant eye or other forms of contact with anyone for a set period of time. This way the punishment is emotional and perhaps the worst punishment is for a slave to know that she has displeased her Master. Still different strokes..... (with or without the whip)

SlayerZ -> RE: please describe a punishment session. i'm confused. (11/24/2005 1:04:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear Girl breaches a rule..Girl is ordered (nakid) to fetch slave whip.... Girl is tied to whipping post.... Girl receives ten strokes of said slave whip... Girl is released from bonds.... Girl kneels to kiss the whip.... Girl then on her knees returns the whip to it's appointed place on the wall. Simple isn't it. No questions no discussion.... But then the girl would be a kajira if she were mine anyway. Yeah. That might be all well and fine for you and yours, but different strokes for different folks... excuse the pun. With your scenario; if said girl is happy with that arrangement, then all is fine and well, go forth and proceed to punish. If she isn't, then there's a problem. That's all I'm saying. If the girl finds the punishment too strict or too severe, I wouldn't say it was disrespectful to make said feelings known to the Dom. What point are you trying to make here? All people are different. We all have our unique interpretations of what is entailed in a D/s relationship. If my sub tells me that I'm being too severe, or that the punishment is too excessive, then I will listen and respect her opinion. Does that make me a bad Dom? Not really. Just means I have respect, or at least enough respect to listen and take her opinions and views into concideration.

slavejali -> RE: please describe a punishment session. i'm confused. (11/24/2005 1:20:05 PM)
Whatever works for the couple. Master doesnt believe in pain as punishment, he says why would he want to make me associate "play" with being punished. Master doesnt punish me very often, whether this is a good or bad thing i dont know. He says that if punishment is required that must mean i'm disrespecting our relationship, so its probably a good thing it doesnt happen often. The one time i can remember, he had me kneel in the middle of the room and he walked around and around me talking to me in an passionless way. To each their own.

Isara -> RE: please describe a punishment session. i'm confused. (11/24/2005 3:47:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SlayerZ quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear Girl breaches a rule..Girl is ordered (nakid) to fetch slave whip.... Girl is tied to whipping post.... Girl receives ten strokes of said slave whip... Girl is released from bonds.... Girl kneels to kiss the whip.... Girl then on her knees returns the whip to it's appointed place on the wall. Simple isn't it. No questions no discussion.... But then the girl would be a kajira if she were mine anyway. Yeah. That might be all well and fine for you and yours, but different strokes for different folks... excuse the pun. With your scenario; if said girl is happy with that arrangement, then all is fine and well, go forth and proceed to punish. If she isn't, then there's a problem. That's all I'm saying. If the girl finds the punishment too strict or too severe, I wouldn't say it was disrespectful to make said feelings known to the Dom. What point are you trying to make here? All people are different. We all have our unique interpretations of what is entailed in a D/s relationship. If my sub tells me that I'm being too severe, or that the punishment is too excessive, then I will listen and respect her opinion. Does that make me a bad Dom? Not really. Just means I have respect, or at least enough respect to listen and take her opinions and views into concideration. What point am I trying to make here? 1). I thought that was quite obvious when I said "But then the girl would be a kajira if she were mine anyway." It sounds like you are not familiar with the Gorean Lifestyle. My comment was simply a classic example of punishment for an errant Gorean slave (kajira). You will note that I made no mention of the strength of lashes either. that is an individual choice, however a kajira will obey and there is no such thing as negotiating punishment or anything else her Master may wish tio involve her in. For further information I'll refer you to the Gorean Lifestyles Forum where a browse through the threads including the archived obnes will give you all tyhe information you need. 2). My point was also replying to the topic heading, I rarely have the time to sit and read every post. The topic heading is "please describe a punishment session. i'm confused." I complie4d with a brief description of a punishment session. Q.E.D. Did you also read my second post regarding corner time? That would be more in line for many who are not of the GL.

IronBear -> RE: please describe a punishment session. i'm confused. (11/24/2005 3:53:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Isara quote: ORIGINAL: SlayerZ quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear Girl breaches a rule..Girl is ordered (nakid) to fetch slave whip.... Girl is tied to whipping post.... Girl receives ten strokes of said slave whip... Girl is released from bonds.... Girl kneels to kiss the whip.... Girl then on her knees returns the whip to it's appointed place on the wall. Simple isn't it. No questions no discussion.... But then the girl would be a kajira if she were mine anyway. Yeah. That might be all well and fine for you and yours, but different strokes for different folks... excuse the pun. With your scenario; if said girl is happy with that arrangement, then all is fine and well, go forth and proceed to punish. If she isn't, then there's a problem. That's all I'm saying. If the girl finds the punishment too strict or too severe, I wouldn't say it was disrespectful to make said feelings known to the Dom. What point are you trying to make here? All people are different. We all have our unique interpretations of what is entailed in a D/s relationship. If my sub tells me that I'm being too severe, or that the punishment is too excessive, then I will listen and respect her opinion. Does that make me a bad Dom? Not really. Just means I have respect, or at least enough respect to listen and take her opinions and views into concideration. What point am I trying to make here? 1). I thought that was quite obvious when I said "But then the girl would be a kajira if she were mine anyway." It sounds like you are not familiar with the Gorean Lifestyle. My comment was simply a classic example of punishment for an errant Gorean slave (kajira). You will note that I made no mention of the strength of lashes either. that is an individual choice, however a kajira will obey and there is no such thing as negotiating punishment or anything else her Master may wish tio involve her in. For further information I'll refer you to the Gorean Lifestyles Forum where a browse through the threads including the archived obnes will give you all tyhe information you need. 2). My point was also replying to the topic heading, I rarely have the time to sit and read every post. The topic heading is "please describe a punishment session. i'm confused." I complie4d with a brief description of a punishment session. Q.E.D. Did you also read my second post regarding corner time? That would be more in line for many who are not of the GL. Just to confuse everybody including myself, I forgot to sign Isara (a GF of Neets and mine who is staying with us) out so my post was under her name.... many appogies, the Bear has not had an instand sex change.........

Isara -> RE: please describe a punishment session. i'm confused. (11/24/2005 4:29:42 PM)
Damn, and here I was, all excited over the prospect of living with two women...well, three women perhaps (as Bear and Neet's dog Sasha is clearly her own woman) ...Ahh well, a woman can dream. [8\|]

candystripper -> RE: please describe a punishment session. i'm confused. (11/24/2005 4:59:17 PM)
quote: Just to confuse everybody including myself, I forgot to sign Isara (a GF of Neets and mine who is staying with us) out so my post was under her name.... many appogies, the Bear has not had an instand sex change......... IronBear Well, i thank Gawd for that! <giggles> candystripper

Isara -> RE: please describe a punishment session. i'm confused. (11/24/2005 6:28:16 PM)
I'm sure so does Lady Neets ^_^[:D]

Lepidoptera -> RE: please describe a punishment session. i'm confused. (11/26/2005 12:01:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: snowgirlsub i had a Dom for about 6 months and he only punished me when he felt it was needed. however i felt his punishments were to harsh. we would start off with me on my knees in a pile of rice. that hurt like sh*&. he would lecture me for at least 20 minutes. by then i would be in tears. then i had to bed over the couch for a hard spanking. he usually used his belt or a strap and always on my bare ass. sometimes his aim was not so good and the strap would hit me between the legs. after that i had to bend over the side of the tub and take an enema. once the punishment was over i had to kneel before him and thank him for punishing me. after that we usually had rough anal sex. here are my questions- is this too harsh of a punishment does punishment lead to sex is anal sex a form of punishment i think the anal was a way for him to express his power over me. please help. It's a matter of taste. To me, that punishment sounds delicious. For you, however, it sounds like too much.

LaMalinche -> RE: please describe a punishment session. i'm confused. (11/26/2005 2:56:24 PM)
Thank you for the explanation IronBear, although I am disappointed that there is no Aussie rejuve treatment. sigh

SpankingDave -> RE: please describe a punishment . . . Reality check (12/1/2005 10:10:19 AM)
Englishrogue hit it right on the head - are you in fact being abused? In the end, this is all play, no matter how seriously you take it. No one really owns you, and you damn well should be able to walk away at anytime. If you feel that you can't then, there's a problem, perhaps a big one. If you don't want to be roughly ass-fucked, etc, then it is absolutely your right to say so, and to expect it not to happen. That's REALITY in our country. Otherwise you're being abused and/or raped. As for a fantasy fun relationship where you're someone's slave, well, you're giving your consent to have these things done to you (aren't you?). Was his punishment of you too harsh? As has been said before, that's up to you. Punishments are supposed to be unpleasant. And hey - some people would actually enjoy what your dom did to you! If YOU felt it was too much, then it was. You did say you could have used a safeword, right? That's when safewords, or even the phrase "Fuck you, asshole," come into play. Before that, maybe another discussion about limits might have been in order, too. If you feel that you HAVE to take whatever he dishes out, then perhaps play has gone beyond the realm of bdsm and into abuse.

B1gbear -> RE: please describe a punishment session. i'm confused. (12/1/2005 7:59:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: snowgirlsub i had a Dom for about 6 months and he only punished me when he felt it was needed. however i felt his punishments were to harsh. we would start off with me on my knees in a pile of rice. that hurt like sh*&. he would lecture me for at least 20 minutes. by then i would be in tears. then i had to bed over the couch for a hard spanking. he usually used his belt or a strap and always on my bare ass. sometimes his aim was not so good and the strap would hit me between the legs. after that i had to bend over the side of the tub and take an enema. once the punishment was over i had to kneel before him and thank him for punishing me. after that we usually had rough anal sex. here are my questions- is this too harsh of a punishment does punishment lead to sex is anal sex a form of punishment i think the anal was a way for him to express his power over me. please help. What is too harsh for you is not harsh at all to another. This is something that should have been discussed before the collar ever went on your neck. Know well what is expected of you as a sub or slave...including what punishment will include. My last slave would have loved what you got compared to being stood naked on the concrete basement floor with her nose against the wall for two hours waiting for me to return while she beat herself up mentally. It's all perspective and unique to each sub/slave based on what works to change behavior for them. There is a lot of debate if sex should be included in punishment. In my mind, punishment is punishment, not reward. It should not be fun or enjoyable in any way or it does not encourage a change in behavior.

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