RE: How to get EXPERIENCE

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: How to get EXPERIENCE

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: How to get EXPERIENCE

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 8/23/2008 8:29:19 AM

rookey

Posts: 100
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreeneGoddess
I love novices - if they are sincere. I expect them to have taken steps to learn about the lifestyle, ponder what they want out of it, and have taken appropriate steps to make this a real time lifestyle for themselves. If they've been online forever and a day but done little to no r/t, or if they "just decided they are submissive", then I do not consider them sincere.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett
I didn't think I wanted an inexperianced, much younger boy... until I gave one a try. I found a very good match for myself in Westie. He's young and eager to learn and to please. Some things that I freely admitted to never having tried before - like electrical play - we openly tried out together. We had a great time! It was actually pretty fun to try something new together. (No one is born knowing everything!)

It sounds as though sincerity and not experience is the key issue. More specifically perhaps how does a potential sub prove their sincerity? Judging by what I read on these boards the standard of proof would seem to be set pretty high.

_____________________________

(in reply to GreeneGoddess)

Post #: 21

RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 8/23/2008 12:22:36 PM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

The proof is - don't lie! Talk to Dommes like they are women. I seem to always settle down to a Fave Four. Don't know why, just always seems to be four. They are always the men who talk to me like a human being first... Domme second.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to rookey)

Post #: 22

RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 8/25/2008 9:29:44 PM

asubsydneymale

Posts: 8
Joined: 11/10/2007
Status: offline

I am a novice submissive based on the south coast and willing to do most things to please a mistress ? would anyone like to train me ?

(in reply to MsStarlett)

Post #: 23

RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 8/25/2008 9:35:43 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

Sure, your first task is to paypal me 200$.

_____________________________

HBIC

(in reply to asubsydneymale)

Post #: 24

RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 8/25/2008 10:04:41 PM

servantnj

Posts: 39
Joined: 3/3/2004
Status: offline

I would say go Pro. But please, realize there are two type of Pro-Dommes. One is serious lifestyle pro-domme who knows and understand the dynamic of such relationship. And then there is second one who is lifestyle domme and just for one reason or another decided to do some paid sessions on the side by placing ads on personal sites. I would stay away from second type.

There is nothing wrong about being inexperienced, you just need to be willing to learn and respect. It will come dear. I spent many nights standing in the corner of the room watching the people before i decided to come dressed like them (or should i say undressed like them)

_____________________________

Why pamper life's complexity
When the leather runs smooth
On the passenger seat ?
-The Smiths

(in reply to standupshaking)

Post #: 25

RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 8/25/2008 10:13:36 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Id say stop worrying so much about experience and find someone you click with. You arent a walking role, and you shouldnt look for one either. Find a PERSON you get on well with and you will get the training you need from her.
Personally, I dont like experienced boys. I like to have my pets not to have to unlearn anything they had learned before. I dont like comparisons.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to servantnj)

Post #: 26

RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 9/26/2008 10:44:02 AM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

of course, this also depends on if you can find someone local that is willing to meet in person. not that i hold much faith in CM any more.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 27

RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 9/26/2008 1:33:20 PM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline

Well this suxs can i just become a newbie again , seems Many Women dig um .

(in reply to standupshaking)

Post #: 28

RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 9/27/2008 6:12:35 AM

GreeneGoddess

Posts: 59
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: azropedntied

Well this suxs can i just become a newbie again , seems Many Women dig um .

Not necessarily :-). Experience does indeed have it's merits.

Compatibility is the toughest part of all of this - finding someone who shares your ethics and values as well as your kinks. That comes in many many forms.

(in reply to azropedntied)

Post #: 29

RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 9/27/2008 6:16:02 AM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

i've found that the toughest part is finding someone locally, but i agree that sharing ones ethics, values and kinks is helpful as well. someday i'll find out what offline is like.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to GreeneGoddess)

Post #: 30

RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 9/27/2008 6:26:27 AM

GreeneGoddess

Posts: 59
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline

So you would put values, ethics, and compatibility aside if they live close enough to you?

I know that I would not.

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 31

RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 9/27/2008 6:30:14 AM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

no, Ma'am. i am simply saying that closeness makes it easier to know someone and learn of their ethics, values and compatibility first hand...and not through typed words on a computer screen or phone call. of course, if i were able to travel...even move...i'm sure i could find what i seek abroad...no disrespect intended to anyone.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to GreeneGoddess)

Post #: 32

RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 9/27/2008 6:48:01 AM

GreeneGoddess

Posts: 59
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline

Yes, you can get to know someone better face to face than online.

But it also can be very obvious from online interactions that the basic compatibility just is not there. Taking the time to meet someone in person doesn't change the basic facts of their lives, and there's no point in meeting with the hopes of correcting the poor impression that is made online.

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 33

RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 9/27/2008 7:41:46 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

There are folks who like to play with novices but often it is unlikely to lead to anything long term simply because a new person will go through a lot of self-discovery and changes the first few years they are getting experience.

The best way to find someone who you can try things out with is by getting involved in a local or regional community. This gives you experience just interacting with others and learning in general but also gets you seen and known. So far people are willing to attend and even fewer to participate in any active way that if you get involved you will get noticed.

It may not be exciting work or sexy work, but each group and events needs workers.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to iwantyounow21)

Post #: 34

RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 9/27/2008 7:48:12 AM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

true enough, Ma'am...seems the ones i'm compatable with live in other in other cities and states...that's the way it goes in the lifetyle though. this only inforces my lack of faith in the city i live in. but, maybe i'm just picky, not to mention particular.

< Message edited by michaelOfGeorgia -- 9/27/2008 7:51:14 AM >

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to GreeneGoddess)

Post #: 35

RE: How to get EXPERIENCE - 9/27/2008 9:34:13 AM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwantyounow21

While I've been interested in this lifestyle for several years now, I have only recently been able to go out and search for a Mistress. As I soon discovered, real Mistresses are freakin hard to find! Many Mistresses, being in such high demand, only want to deal with submissives who have experience in D/s... but I unfortunately have none.

The most "experience" I have is a little CBT and wax play while I masturbate. I love to hang weights from a string tied to my balls or to put my cock in tight bondage. I love all kinds of BDSM porn and I always wish that that submissive, be it girl or boy, was me.

So, Mistresses, after hearing a little about me, how can I safely get more experience? Thank you so much for reading my question

Get a girlfriend who is nuts about you and vice versa. As you explore your sexuality, dabble in it. You can't take a shortcut to bdsm experience by seeing a femdom (unless you pay) assuming she'll "pop your submissive cherry" just because she has nothing else to do on a friday night, and you may bolt afterwards and never call her again because you got what you wanted.

Bottom line - you have to be prepared to invest. You can invest via time, and romantic connection, and mutual affection -- or, you can invest via volunteer work in a BDSM community over time and hope to be noticed and taken in hand - or you can invest cash and hand it to a pro who will indulge your fantasies and give you a taste.

I picked the first option, investing via time and romantic connection, because it's what you should probably be doing as a young man anyway. Date. Socialize. Flirt. Court. If you date women who are open minded about sex, they may be happy to lightly explore with you. There's no reason you need to be suspended upside down by your ankles out of the gate or fucked with an ejaculating dildo on the first date; try light bondage, roleplaying, little pain games.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to iwantyounow21)

Post #: 36

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: How to get EXPERIENCE

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094