Ping Pong Ball Game Playing Damage

Ping Pong Ball Game Playing Damage (Full Version)

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Owner4SexSlave -> Ping Pong Ball Game Playing Damage (8/22/2008 5:10:45 AM)
I'm interested in hearing from both sides of the D/s coin on this one. Those who have been involved with somebody in a past relationship, where the other person was going back and forth between you and somebody else. Literally like a Ping Pong Ball. To the point this person was playing games with you and the other person. Which each bounce, it slowly was taking it's toll upon you. You tried to leave the game a few times, but this person would come back and well make it all up to you, "smooth things" out. Everything would be great for awhile. They'd make it a point to give you extra special attention. Then after a few weeks or so. They were back to playing the Ping Pong game. All the classic, lies and deception and smoothing things out, telling you things they knew you wanted to hear happened. Then one day, Match Point happens. You and the other person that was getting played, both up and quit the game. Now, fast forward in time, say a year or two. You find yourself dealing with a struggle of opening up and trusting somebody. You are always on your toes for red flags. You get really uneasy at times when dealing with prospective partners. You have some internal issues and struggles. Where you don't always feel at ease at times. However, for the most part you keep these issues and struggles to yourself. You know you're not the same since you had this Ping Pong Ball Relationship, all the Game Playing as caused some damage. Are you pretty open with others about this struggle, and issues you have. Continue to keep it to yourself? Do you find yourself having to distance yourself at times when you are having a moment? Even more so when you are totally into somebody new, and well... You don't want to come off like some sort of insecure idiot, because really you're not. However, you are just a little less trusting. That you know it will take some extra time and work to build trust that you are comfortable with. You are not incapable of trusting somebody, however you find you have issues. All from the Ping Bong Game Playing Damage that was done in a previous relationship.

Dnomyar -> RE: Ping Pong Ball Game Playing Damage (8/22/2008 5:14:27 AM)
Sounds like an overthinking insecure person with selfesteem issues.

Owner4SexSlave -> RE: Ping Pong Ball Game Playing Damage (8/22/2008 5:20:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar Sounds like an overthinking insecure person with selfesteem issues. What would you say, if that person never had these issues before, and they developed after this one relationship? Curious here.

RavenMuse -> RE: Ping Pong Ball Game Playing Damage (8/22/2008 5:21:39 AM)
You are on the D side? Someone tries playing 'games' of that nature... they maybe, if they are lucky, get a couple of chances but more than a couple shows they are not going to learn and change... so YOU draw a line, a line that will never again be crossed with them. End of chapter, they are a footnote in Your personal history book. As for having issues.... take control of them. Sure everyone has baggage... when a feeling crops up... examine it.. work out if it has a basis in the current situation OR if it is simply bubbling up from your past... if the later, discount it, set it aside because it isn't relevant to the 'NOW' and the now person doesn't deserve it dumping on them.

heartfeltsub -> RE: Ping Pong Ball Game Playing Damage (8/22/2008 5:36:54 AM)
i realize i am on the s side of the slash, so my perspective will probably differ some from the other side of the slash, however, i would initially guard myself, try not to allow myself to get too invested in a new relationship until i got a better idea who the other person is. i realize that it is easy to see flags where they may not exist, but at the same time one has to be wise and not rush head long into a relationship with an unknown. If after a period of knowing the person face to face, i still feel like i fighting past demons, i would look at why that is the case, is it just me and insecurities that i need to deal with about myself, or are they giving me legitimate reasons to feel insecure in the relationship. Depending upon the relationship, i might ask a third person who knows me well and has seen the two of us together what his or her take is. Is it just me, or am i picking up something that is really off. But initially, as you are in the process of forming a new relationship, (based on your post in missturbation's thread about starting over) you are dealing with the fact that there have been game players that you have dealt with in the past and that making you leary. That is only natural and if you didn't feel that way, i would be concerned that you were blindly running into something because you "needed" to be in a relationship. (sorry if that is too personal) From your posts you strike me as an intelligent man, just take it slow, don't get too emotionally involved as from your post you haven't met face to face yet. Don't worry about the wariness, it is natural, just look at it if it lingers after the relationship has really been established. heartfelt

Paulnz -> RE: Ping Pong Ball Game Playing Damage (8/22/2008 6:01:44 AM)
When I saw the title I thought of Priscilla Queen of the Desert type Ping Pong ball games.

Dnomyar -> RE: Ping Pong Ball Game Playing Damage (8/22/2008 6:14:11 AM)
Op you had the issues all along. They just did not manifest themselves until your last experience.

Owner4SexSlave -> RE: Ping Pong Ball Game Playing Damage (8/22/2008 6:25:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar Op you had the issues all along. They just did not manifest themselves until your last experience. LOL

Owner4SexSlave -> RE: Ping Pong Ball Game Playing Damage (8/22/2008 6:33:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Paulnz When I saw the title I thought of Priscilla Queen of the Desert type Ping Pong ball games. Wow, I had to google that one. Wow, I think I really would have some issues if I was part of two drag queens and a transsexual in a cabaret gig in the middle of the desert. Suddenly my life seems much more sane at the thoughts of that one. :-)

missturbation -> RE: Ping Pong Ball Game Playing Damage (8/22/2008 6:40:25 AM)
quote: All the classic, lies and deception and smoothing things out, telling you things they knew you wanted to hear happened. Then one day, Match Point happens. You and the other person that was getting played, both up and quit the game. Been there, done that. quote: You find yourself dealing with a struggle of opening up and trusting somebody. You are always on your toes for red flags. You get really uneasy at times when dealing with prospective partners. You have some internal issues and struggles. Where you don't always feel at ease at times. However, for the most part you keep these issues and struggles to yourself I'm here at the moment. quote: Are you pretty open with others about this struggle, and issues you have. Continue to keep it to yourself? Yes, i have been completely honest about this issue with Sir. quote: Do you find yourself having to distance yourself at times when you are having a moment? No but i do think maybe i should. Step back, analyse and see if there is really an issue. If not, let it go. If there is, speak to him. Then we can deal with it together. quote: Op you had the issues all along. They just did not manifest themselves until your last experience. I disagree. I never had these issues until the pin pong ball relationships.

Paulnz -> RE: Ping Pong Ball Game Playing Damage (8/22/2008 7:43:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave quote: ORIGINAL: Paulnz When I saw the title I thought of Priscilla Queen of the Desert type Ping Pong ball games. Wow, I had to google that one. Wow, I think I really would have some issues if I was part of two drag queens and a transsexual in a cabaret gig in the middle of the desert. Suddenly my life seems much more sane at the thoughts of that one. :-) You've got the right movie. In it the Thai stripper they come across, who has married a guy in the outback, does the trick down at the local pub, where she fires ping pong balls across the room from her vagina. The movie is now a stage musical and they have this trick in there too I believe, though it is staged, not the real thing.

Owner4SexSlave -> RE: Ping Pong Ball Game Playing Damage (8/22/2008 7:44:56 AM)
This technical support trouble ticket has been resolved using good old fashioned communication this morning. Amazing thing when two people both have similar support issues at the same time. Again, the best piece of advice that is repeated time and time through out the message board is communication.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Ping Pong Ball Game Playing Damage (8/22/2008 8:29:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave I'm interested in hearing from both sides of the D/s coin on this one. Those who have been involved with somebody in a past relationship, where the other person was going back and forth between you and somebody else. Literally like a Ping Pong Ball. To the point this person was playing games with you and the other person. Which each bounce, it slowly was taking it's toll upon you. You tried to leave the game a few times, but this person would come back and well make it all up to you, "smooth things" out. Everything would be great for awhile. They'd make it a point to give you extra special attention. Then after a few weeks or so. They were back to playing the Ping Pong game. All the classic, lies and deception and smoothing things out, telling you things they knew you wanted to hear happened. Then one day, Match Point happens. You and the other person that was getting played, both up and quit the game. Now, fast forward in time, say a year or two. You find yourself dealing with a struggle of opening up and trusting somebody. You are always on your toes for red flags. You get really uneasy at times when dealing with prospective partners. You have some internal issues and struggles. Where you don't always feel at ease at times. However, for the most part you keep these issues and struggles to yourself. You know you're not the same since you had this Ping Pong Ball Relationship, all the Game Playing as caused some damage. Are you pretty open with others about this struggle, and issues you have. Continue to keep it to yourself? Do you find yourself having to distance yourself at times when you are having a moment? Even more so when you are totally into somebody new, and well... You don't want to come off like some sort of insecure idiot, because really you're not. However, you are just a little less trusting. That you know it will take some extra time and work to build trust that you are comfortable with. You are not incapable of trusting somebody, however you find you have issues. All from the Ping Bong Game Playing Damage that was done in a previous relationship. This is sort of rambling and I hope something here makes sense. The issues you're fighting with come from holding on to something that should have been let go. Every relationship is a new opportunity -- holding on to old crap from relationships that didn't work out doesn't help anyone, and continues to allow that old relationship to "master" a person's life, deciding what they will accept, how trusting they will be, etc. The only way to move on is to let go of everything. Learn from the mistakes only in the sense that one remains -aware-... not in the sense where one becomes crippled and afraid of every little noise. The worst that happens is that a relationship fails. This is NOT a life-or-death crisis, people. Some relationships work out, and some don't. In the end, we are still the same people. You can't -ever- force someone to love you. You may be able to use a piece of paper and a ring to force them to -stay- with you... but once the affection is gone, that ring and paper don't mean squat--except for the power struggle that means "I've got you and you're not getting away." For relationships that don't work out, just let them go. Stay true to yourself when meeting people, and new relationships will grow out of your own sense of being. Some of them may last years, some only minutes... but getting hung up on trying to hold on to something is the best way to bend, fold, spindle, and mutilate it into something that it was never meant to be (and something you may find that you don't even -want-). I wish there was a way to get people to understand this -- you are you, no matter who you are with. The other person is him/herself. Sometimes, aspects of the people involved in a relationship blend together. Sometimes, they separate like oil and water... but getting hung up on trying to make what is not meant to be together stay together -- that's just insanity. Calla Firestorm

Leatherist -> RE: Ping Pong Ball Game Playing Damage (8/22/2008 8:31:43 AM)
Someone would do that exactly once with me-and then become a "ghost" to both of us. Why would you put up with that shit from anyone?

Owner4SexSlave -> RE: Ping Pong Ball Game Playing Damage (8/22/2008 9:15:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist Someone would do that exactly once with me-and then become a "ghost" to both of us. Why would you put up with that shit from anyone? Only happened in one relationship, was a real time relationship as well. Never happened before that one, and well frankly not something I want to repeat again. In terms of why, well that's a whole different topic itself.

Leatherist -> RE: Ping Pong Ball Game Playing Damage (8/22/2008 9:42:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist Someone would do that exactly once with me-and then become a "ghost" to both of us. Why would you put up with that shit from anyone? Only happened in one relationship, was a real time relationship as well. Never happened before that one, and well frankly not something I want to repeat again. In terms of why, well that's a whole different topic itself. Dude, if the issue came attached to the woman, she would have to choose-me or the asshat. I'd even cut off a relative who did that shit-no mercy. Life is too short to add the stress of some fucktard playing games.

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