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Wow and ouch - 8/22/2008 5:26:57 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
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From: another planet
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Normally when people state an opinion of me that is not what i expect, what i want to hear or anything of the kind, i look at it. I evaluate it, try to see where it came from, learn from, from it. If i can't see it's origin i let it fly over my head and ignore it.

Recently though i have recieved a few cmails regarding my starting over thread in general bdsm. Whilst all of them have been very supportive of me and the changes in my life i have ouched at quite a few.

They gave me some opinions of me prior to my 'feeling' full post and to be honest i didn't like it, am having trouble brushing them off. I can see where these people were coming from to an extent but part of me says hell no thats not right.

My threads are usually from a completely unemotional point of view i know. Threads such as ones where i have said i don't need / want anything of an emotional kind. Ones where i have said give me the beatings, not the love etc etc. You get the picture.

However i was still shocked to find that people viewed me as.........
Inhuman
Incapable of feeling
Emotionless
Cold
Etc etc

I thought that when dealing with others threads that needed emotional support i gave it and showed some feeling / emotion.

Leaves me wondering......
However did i get to be such a cold person?
Why i can't just shake this off?

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

Post #: 1

RE: Wow and ouch - 8/22/2008 5:30:40 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Just because people view you as cold, doesn't necessarily mean you are cold.

I've had people, whom I've gotten to know, via email/chat who are surprised to find out that I'm not as cold/heartless/sarcastic as I seem to be on the message board. I treat/talk to them no differently than I do to others. So I'm not sure where their thoughts are coming from. Until someone is in my life for many years and much shared time together I don't take much value in how they perceive me. I know who I am and what I'm about.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 2

RE: Wow and ouch - 8/22/2008 5:30:46 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation
However i was still shocked to find that people viewed me as.........
Inhuman
Incapable of feeling
Emotionless
Cold
Etc etc

Some people might, but I don't.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 3

RE: Wow and ouch - 8/22/2008 5:34:05 AM

housesub4you

Posts: 1879
Joined: 4/2/2008
Status: offline

Yea, well if I worried what people wrote me in emails from this site, I would be curled up on the floor.

Just move on and forget about it. Some people have nothing better to do but say things about others so they can feel better about themselves.

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 4

RE: Wow and ouch - 8/22/2008 5:34:16 AM

angelwithhonor

Posts: 193
Joined: 5/16/2007
Status: offline

....sorry i havent found you cold at all with your posts, i dont look at all of them of course. but i will say this and dont care how it comes out to others here..i find that many here are cold and just plain mean..have seen alot of posts lately that just shows that. with the sitting on ones throans and casts the stones to others. then i see some that are positive with their words. i know forums are for questions, not bashing...to be answered maybe not how you like it to be. but at least be nice about it. hugsssss...i feel that we all are allowed to speak our minds, just be respectful. actually i have only emailed someone from the forums to be positive to them.

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 5

RE: Wow and ouch - 8/22/2008 5:35:01 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

Sometimes it's hard to really see the light when we have built huge walls around ourselves. Their initial purpose is to protect us from those trying to come in....ultimately though, they can become our own prison. We try to so hard to convince the outside world that they can't make us feel...that we end up convincing ourselves and we become unfeeling. Until a crack develops....and a little light comes in....

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 6

RE: Wow and ouch - 8/22/2008 5:35:44 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
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You can't shake it off because you aren't cold and unfeeling.

Perhaps people sometimes perceive you as such in part because you often poost in this way:
"My threads are usually from a completely unemotional point of view i know. Threads such as ones where i have said i don't need / want anything of an emotional kind. Ones where i have said give me the beatings, not the love etc etc. You get the picture. "

But I have seen your compassion and supportive nature in your responses.

You aren't these things:
"Inhuman
Incapable of feeling
Emotionless ..."

You are a complex woman who has varying degrees of all kinds of feelings...
and you are very very human.

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 7

RE: Wow and ouch - 8/22/2008 5:36:15 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

Missturbation,
Do you view yourself as a cold unfeeling person? Because what others perceive you as should not be half as important as what you really are or how you perceive yourself. I know where you are coming from and it is hard to show warmth on a computer screen, but you do what you do, you know? You said it yourself here; quote:

My threads are usually from a completely unemotional point of view i know. Threads such as ones where i have said i don't need / want anything of an emotional kind. Ones where i have said give me the beatings, not the love etc etc. You get the picture.

People pick up on this. Maybe this is why they perceive you this way. But like I said, at the end of the day, it is your face looking in the mirror. <Hugs> Hang in there. I like you!

_____________________________

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Post #: 8

RE: Wow and ouch - 8/22/2008 5:38:43 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

I dont think you are cold. I also find that most people who come across that way or that are guarded are usually the opposite of cold. Thats why they gaurd their heart.
When I look at your picture, I see your eyes. I think, "wow,how can anyone see her as cold?"
Surely those people aren't very perceptive at all.

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Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to angelwithhonor)

Post #: 9

RE: Wow and ouch - 8/22/2008 5:40:23 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

You express your viewpoint in an unemotional way. Therefore, you must be an unemotional person. Not the worlds best logic, but it is what they are going on.
Some topics just do not need an emotional response, sometimes it is better to step back and give one without it. Others, where it has been necessary, require more emotion and caring.
Those calling you, or any of us, cold and uncaring becasue of how we respond to someone elses problems are not seeing US tey are simply seeing our WORDS. Same reason I come off as a heartless bitch to some, and an overprotective domme to others. Selective reading.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 10

RE: Wow and ouch - 8/22/2008 5:49:12 AM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Sometimes it's hard to really see the light when we have built huge walls around ourselves. Their initial purpose is to protect us from those trying to come in....ultimately though, they can become our own prison. We try to so hard to convince the outside world that they can't make us feel...that we end up convincing ourselves and we become unfeeling. Until a crack develops....and a little light comes in....

Thank God for calk...

As for being cold or unfeeling? Who says you have to be warm and cuddly for everyone?
Hell, sometimes your reserve might just be tapped out of warm fuzzies.
Dont let them consume you.

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

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Post #: 11

RE: Wow and ouch - 8/22/2008 6:10:17 AM

Termyn8or

Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline

Why is it that we must run our lives based on emotions and instinct rather than thought and logic, lest people think there is something wrong with us ? It used to be the other way around.

T

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 12

RE: Wow and ouch - 8/22/2008 6:11:46 AM

seababy

Posts: 845
Joined: 6/20/2008
Status: offline

Many people can post touchy feely responses in threads..doesn't mean its what they feel though.

Sometimes people just post what they think will give them the best response back or what they think they SHOULD feel.

I find your posts very human, and honest.

Just look at the melancholy personality type, often seen as cold and analytic by outsiders but are said to have a higher percentage of brilliant artistic types and to be very deep emotionally.
(They are also more likely to take to heart personal criticism and torture themselves with it.)
Maybe your a little like that? I can't say don't know you well enough.

What I do know is when I read another post of yours that came across as so joyful and hopeful I was really moved. Why? Because you don't spew emotion all over the boards in some kind of histrionic frenzy, when you do reveal the emotional side of yourself, its fresh and inspiring and genuine.

If you want to change something about yourself because you feel its impacting negatively in your life or those you love go ahead. Just don't doubt yourself if its a matter of a few people misreading you.

Don't know if this post is even clear but anyway its just my socially awkward and geeky way of giving you a hug.

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 13

RE: Wow and ouch - 8/22/2008 6:46:25 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

Thank you for the replies.

I know i should be brushing this off but it really did shock me.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to seababy)

Post #: 14

RE: Wow and ouch - 8/22/2008 6:52:48 AM

Thadius

Posts: 5091
Joined: 10/11/2005
Status: offline

Just so there is no confusion.

I don't care if you are cold or warm hearted, caring or apathetic, I would still enjoy the time spent beating your ass and perhaps fucking your brains out. Then again, I am just an emotionless, uncaring, inhuman prick.

P.S. I haven't seen any examples that would lead me to think you were any of the things expressed in the OP. Keep on smilin.

_____________________________

When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends." ~ Japanese Proverb

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 15

RE: Wow and ouch - 8/22/2008 8:23:20 AM

VirginPotty

Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline

Does your man like you? Do your RL friends like you? Family? They're all that matter, not a bunch of folks online who've never met you. Shake it off & tell us about the next date you have planned with.............HIM!

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Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 16

RE: Wow and ouch - 8/22/2008 8:45:07 AM

servantheart

Posts: 960
Joined: 10/26/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

From what I've read of your posts, I don't find you to be inhuman, incapable of feeling, emotionless OR cold. Ignore the idiots who would presume to judge you without knowing you personally. They aren't worth your time. Seems to me that they are the ones with faulty socialization/personal communication skills if all they can do is insult you. Just my own

_____________________________

When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things.
~Real Live Preacher, Real Live Preacher weblog, 07-08-04; Anonymous author of RealLivePreacher.com

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 17

RE: Wow and ouch - 8/22/2008 10:02:00 AM

Termyn8or

Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline

Pretty much Sociology 101. If you are pragmatic and logical you deem those who let their emotions govern their lives as being somehow misfit.* If you are emotional and prone to act before you think, you would judge the pragmatic and logical people in about the same light.

It's not that people don't feel it's just that they don't act on their feelings. All anyone else has to go on is that person's expressions, whether the venue is a bar, livingroom or an online forum. If they say and do nothing you know nothing.

Like lurkers.

So don't sweat it.

T

PS, the * means that I don't remember that word being used that way. I do think it is grammatically correct. Is it ?

T

(in reply to servantheart)

Post #: 18

RE: Wow and ouch - 8/22/2008 10:15:30 AM

NeedingMore220

Posts: 615
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ
You can't shake it off because you aren't cold and unfeeling.

Bingo! I agree. But you do need to shrug it off. There's a world of difference between being in a relationship without emotional ties and being cold and unfeeling. I've found your posts to be very honest and open, both the ones I couldn't relate to as well as the ones I could.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 19

RE: Wow and ouch - 8/22/2008 10:26:14 AM

UR2Badored

Posts: 506
Joined: 2/3/2007
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Fast Reply~
It is hard for me to determine from posts if someone is cold or not because writing styles often does not reflect intention. Also, I take for granted that lots of folks edit or shorten posts for time and reading sake. For what it's worth, I've never viewed your posts as cold (at all) but as someone with a genuine curious nature. Plus, I know how you feel about spiders so I know you have fears just like the rest of us. :o)

< Message edited by UR2Badored -- 8/22/2008 10:58:58 AM >

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A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way
Mark Twain

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Post #: 20

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