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Because it makes THEM happy... - 8/23/2008 7:08:34 AM   
sodsta


Posts: 246
Joined: 7/19/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline 		I was wondering the other day about domestic service. I know a lot of subs are service oriented, and actually do genuinely enjoy doing housework/shopping/scrubbing/cleaning/etc... but I was more curious about those subs who don't specifically enjoy housework but do it because they know it makes their Dominant happy.

Personally, I don't enjoy doing housework at all; I find it boring and a chore, but I would do it for someone I were in a loving, committed relationship with if that's what they asked me to do. However, despite doing it to make them happy, I would not actually find the physical act of scrubbing/cleaning/mopping enjoyable in any way. It would still be a boring chore to me. What I would enjoy would be the knowledge that by doing this boring chore I was making my partner happy.

I was just wondering if other people approach this differently? When asked specifically by a Dom/me to do a chore you would usually find boring, do you find yourself actually liking the chore simply because of the context in which you are doing it?

All input is greatly appreciated. :)
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RE: Because it makes THEM happy... - 8/23/2008 7:27:14 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		It is different for each person, but I found that I learned to enjoy it.  I think that part of it for me was in the way my Master worded it.  When He first gave me the task to clean His home His words were that He wanted me to come "make things right".  That gave me the impression that without me things would never be quite right.  I found that with time I took more and more pride in what I was doing.  I didn't just clean but have done things like fixing the broken door latch, made an afghan to add color to the livingroom, rearranged things slightly for easier access, and started to feel a responsibility toward the house.  It gave me a feeling of belonging there.

The fact is that some tasks will never be fulfilling, may be downright disgusting to us, or could simply be boring and tedious.  Sometimes all we have is the knowledge that what we are doing is pleasing to the One we have chosen.  To me it is all worth it when my Master lets me know I have done better than He ever expected.


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RE: Because it makes THEM happy... - 8/23/2008 7:28:41 AM   
blueskyboy


Posts: 56
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline 		depends on her tone of voice :)

seriously though...doing stuff for each other is hot...especially when i take the initiative and don't have to be told...sort of wordless communication...you know what bothers her, what level of disorder upsetting...like her quirk about coffee left in the pot to burn and stink...or smudgy windows...and do that...

one domme hated to vacuum...so i always had that done... lets just say that i was rewarded handsomely for that...

be careful with ironing...even in street clothes...that will get you laid almost every time...something in the whish and whoosh of that appliance that gets every woman in the world hot ...you never need ginsing...if you know how to iron while she is watching

be sure to turn your back to her when you are working...and stop in the middle to take off your shirt...don't do this fast 
and
sweat down the backbone may just get the iron unplugged 

in short done right...it is a powerful aphrodisiac...use it carefully

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RE: Because it makes THEM happy... - 8/23/2008 7:49:45 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		I have always hated it. In a relationship, I did it because that was my job ; now, I do it because someone has to, so it might as well be me.

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RE: Because it makes THEM happy... - 8/23/2008 8:28:43 AM   
blueskyboy


Posts: 56
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline 		oops...forgot to qualify that assertion...you must iron HER clothes...sometimes just asking what she intends to wear the next morning works too...probably won't know but the thought counts...not sure the back cleavage works exactly...probably think i am hotter than i am - anyway, thats another thread - but housework can be done in a very masculine and sexy manner...at least funny

so i love it...think of it as a show...a sexy demure little real world real movement dance...so play good music...funky stuff like Aretha - "what you want baby i got it" 

this show is one they can't ignore
they watch both what you are doing and how you are doing it...be aware of that and make it fun...listen to suggestions

also dommie woman often love order...you know - this before that

i'm trying to get to THAT without words...action speaks in a respectful tone...words are just words...we live in a world where the strap can speak louder than a voice...where eyes alone can write novels...be suggestive as you work...never overt and never ever do a chore like you might if your mother told you to...it is not just clean your room any longer...it is clean our space...

think of it as making time for her to think...and space too  - play her music for her...put on a good movie for her while you iron with your back to her...

she will never get to see the end - the magic works quickly

ironing and vacuuming are the strongest
scrubbing floors pretty hot
making a fire on a cold wet day...very hot
splitting the wood first  but only if she is watching...which is rare...very very hot...something in the violence of that movement...something primal that is awfully moving
avoid chainsaws as foreplay  - crank it only when she is out  
dusting can be done quite senseously...it is up there too ...somewhere near window washing...stretch first so as to be limber and flexible

toilet cleaning is below dish washing though lid down is a daily love letter...
washing clothes takes lots of knowledge...study up first
making the bed is not on the magic list at all - avoid this if possible
:)


< Message edited by blueskyboy -- 8/23/2008 8:44:30 AM >

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RE: Because it makes THEM happy... - 8/23/2008 8:46:25 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		In my last D/s thing I was never asked to clean up I would just do it (in fact that true of most of my relationships D/s or otherwise) and its strange because I am NOT a tidy person, I hate cleaning, but i figure it doews earn brownie points and once its done you dont have to worry about it and can get on with more fun things

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RE: Because it makes THEM happy... - 8/23/2008 8:57:33 AM   
Bstardsbitch


Posts: 154
Joined: 11/19/2005
Status: offline 		I don't know about cleaning house to make a partner happy, I don't particularly like cleaning, it's just another job that has to be done. Though in this house, the cleaning, tidying etc gets done by the person who has the time. I have never thought of cleaning as a D/s kinda thing.
xx

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RE: Because it makes THEM happy... - 8/23/2008 9:09:48 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Most people by the time they are five realize that they have to do things they don't really like/love in order to keep things going well and fulfilled in the long term- anything from household chores, to learning how to do new things that their partner desires, going through drug and therapy treatments, etc.

Masters do this just as regularly as anyone else, vanillas do this just as regularly as anyone else.

Do people begin to enjoy the act itself because of the transfer of pleasure they know it will bring?  Absolutely.  And orientation is irrelevant.

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RE: Because it makes THEM happy... - 8/23/2008 9:13:30 AM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		Hi!
When i get the chance to go to Sir's house, i clean. Always have done this from the first time i entered his place. Sir loves what i do in his place. If he has a specific chore he wants me to do, he will tell me. But usually he doesn't because he knows i am going to clean. Also i am big on feng shui, and feel that having an unclutter place helps a person feel better and give clarity to thinking.  That is what i wish to give him. It is nice to see when i do get back to his place, he has left most things they way i left them. So all i need to do is dust, vacuum and mop. Do i like cleaning? Not really, but i like seeing a smile on his face when he comes home from work.
blessings,
oceanwynds

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RE: Because it makes THEM happy... - 8/23/2008 9:44:46 AM   
StormsSlave


Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline 		I freaking hate housework. My Lord does, too. Funny. People talk about negotiations, but the only thing we ever negotiated was housework!

I do laundry, and dishes a couple times a week. He cooks, handles the dogs, cleans the dishes the other days of the week. Since it's only the two of us, we don't have a lot of work, either way.

In the past, I've taken on the majority housework because of my UM's generating the majority housework. Now that we are on our own, we will have to figure it out again.

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RE: Because it makes THEM happy... - 8/23/2008 9:50:35 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		I'm not house trained, never mind domesticated
 
I absolutely detest house work with a vengeance. I can just about tolerate putting the washing on but thats only because it takes two minutes and does all the hard bit for ya. Iron? I have one and it hasn't left its box in two years. Actually thinking on it i moved into my new pub four weeks ago and i don't think i've even seen it yet!!
Saying that i spent half an hour washing up in the bath yesterday. I know wtf? Well my living accomodation is a shambles at present and i dont have a kitchen. No sink, no cooker no nothing. Been living off micro meals for four weeks and washing pots in the bath  Anyways i knelt over the bath for half hour plus and according to my um never changed position once, other than leaning a little forward to grab the pots. See some training pays off lol.
To get back to the point, no i dont like doing domestic stuff and get very little pleasure out of it pleasing my Sir. It is just something that has to be done and to be honest don't really see it as part of my D/s dynamic.
 

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RE: Because it makes THEM happy... - 8/23/2008 10:00:28 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		I am responsible for the housework and grocery shopping in our house. If i don't do it, it doesn't get done. When i moved in my Sir gave those jobs to me - and i took them. Do i enjoy them? No - at best i am neutral about cleaning, at worst, i hate it. But, since i like clean sox and a clean toilet, i do enough to keep the house respectable, and sanitary.

Its not always picked up the way i would like it, but i have days and weeks where i work 10 hours a day, and don't have the time or the energy or the inclinations to do better, but it always gets done eventually.

And the day that my Sir stood infront of me and told me that i do a great job with the house and grocery shopping , and that he was proud of me, i teared up. Such a softy, i am.

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RE: Because it makes THEM happy... - 8/23/2008 1:25:20 PM   
daddysblondie


Posts: 181
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline 		Count me in amongst the ones that hate housework! In fact, I have a Dom friend who would always tease me and say that anyone who ever came to my home would know instantly I'm not a service oriented sub.

With that said though, I've recently taken on the responsibility of keeping Daddy's house clean for him, not so much because he asked me to. It was a duty that somewhat developed over time, it started by simply keeping things picked up one weekend when there were a lot of people coming through the house for business and grew from there. It is definitely something that I do FOR him because it makes HIM happy. I do have a sense of pride and accomplishment from knowing that I've done a good job for him, and certainly his positive feedback helps as well. The other thing that helps is that I see it as something I'm doing for him; it's another aspect of taking care of Daddy and one that I think he appreciates because he knows that it's not one I particularly find enjoyment doing.
We have both agreed that there may come a point in the future where my other responsibilities make it a challenge for me to keep up with the housework and when that time comes, we'll discuss bringing someone else in to help me, or to simply do it. I think though that my time doing it has in some ways further bonded our relationship, if that makes any sense. I'm not going to rush right out and get a job cleaning houses though and scrubbing toilets is never going to make me horny.

And while we're on the subject of cleaning, does anyone have any good suggestions for keeping the soap scum from building up in the tub??

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RE: Because it makes THEM happy... - 8/23/2008 1:32:29 PM   
califsue


Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline 		I don't enjoy doing the domestic chores but since I live alone if I don't do it, then it doesn't get done. However, if I lived with Master and he wanted me to serve him by doing the domestic chores .... and it made him happy..I would. I don't necessarily see it as a reqirement of a D/s dynamic but in any household chores have to get done by someone.

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RE: Because it makes THEM happy... - 8/23/2008 1:52:38 PM   
simpleplan2


Posts: 461
Joined: 7/5/2008
Status: offline 		The only thing that prevents is washing it off.  that said, ask him to give the tub a quick once over with the shower spray when he's done in the shower.  That'll help.

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RE: Because it makes THEM happy... - 8/23/2008 2:00:08 PM   
daddysblondie


Posts: 181
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline 		Thanks for the tip! I'll have to ask him about spraying it down when i see him tonight.

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RE: Because it makes THEM happy... - 8/23/2008 2:14:16 PM   
girlivy


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		Love it! Laundry, floors etc... The only thing here is I will do windows and iron, but they do tend to end up worse than when I started.    I said I would do it, just not do it good!    Always since a very young age have just help firends and such cleanup, have found it so much eaiser to clean for someone else than myself.

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RE: Because it makes THEM happy... - 8/23/2008 2:25:40 PM   
KyttynTheMynx


Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline 		I loved doing dishes, when my dishwasher wasnt a possessed water spewing demon.  I love washing clothes, its the folding and putting stuff in closets that ticks me off.  I will never like dusting.  I hate the smell of the cleaners, and the fact that I usually find myself up to the ears in dust.  And I am definitely not a good vaccuum user, since I end up using it to play with my dogs.  I do often wonder if I would feel differently about some of these things if there was someone on the other end who was happy that it was done...lol

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RE: Because it makes THEM happy... - 8/23/2008 2:45:07 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysblondie

Count me in amongst the ones that hate housework! In fact, I have a Dom friend who would always tease me and say that anyone who ever came to my home would know instantly I'm not a service oriented sub.


Actually, that's not always true. I've known a LOT of service submissives in my time, and quite often their OWN home is kind of messy because there's no actual incentive to keeping it clean (ie, a dominant who is pleased by the cleanliness). Not all service submissives have a clean fetish, but desire to serve an individual.


quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysblondie
And while we're on the subject of cleaning, does anyone have any good suggestions for keeping the soap scum from building up in the tub??


Vinegar. Poor it into a squirt bottle, and then squirt it on the soap scum. Tends to take that soap scum down really quick-like. And yes, I am a service submissive who actually does keep his place somewhat clean.


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RE: Because it makes THEM happy... - 8/23/2008 3:45:40 PM   
girlivy


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		http://www.thriftyfun.com/tf599017.tip.html  Found this website that had lots of tub soap scum helpful hints... Happy cleaning!
It seems Mr. Clean Magic eraser works to remove it well, and using liquid soap helps keep it away

< Message edited by girlivy -- 8/23/2008 3:47:32 PM >

_____________________________

AUTHENTIC SPIRITUAL GROWTH NEVER COMES FROM EXPERIENCES THAT THE EGO CAN PREDICT OR CONTROL.
OUR SPIRIT HAS ITS OWN AGENDA: OUR DESTINY.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken!

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