Is it possible... (Full Version)

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BoundDragon -> Is it possible... (8/23/2008 3:09:08 PM)

to experience a drop despite the lack of scening???

To give you my scenario.. I live 200 miles away from him although we are desperately saving to live together & also marry.
The problem comes that its only been three weeks since I saw him last & my submissiveness has gone uber-mad & I am pining for just the touch of his hand or to feel his eyes upon me.
The problem comes with this.... therehas been a slight disagreement between us just where wires were crossed no big deal... but in my effort to ask him for his side of the story (so I can understand & learn) I have only made matters worse as he thinks I was being bratty & sarcastic with him.... its sooooo hard over the phone!!!

The last time we had a minor fall out (doesnt happen very often) I just hit such a low.... I stayed curled up on the end of my bed & didnt move.... couldnt sleep etc.
Tonight I feel like its gonns be another sleepless night... like being in a real live nightmare, I'm really panicy about the situation. I cant even face trying to sleep on the bed, I feel like as I am in disgrace I should curl up on the floor with my duvet.
All my motivation just seemed to disappear (not in a sulky way... just all energy for it gone) and I have had the shakes.

Could this be a form of drop?? I'm certain his hand stroking my hair brushing against my cheek would ground me again but we are too far appart & he's gone off to compose himself so no talking until he's got himself over it



GreedyTop -> RE: Is it possible... (8/23/2008 3:17:29 PM)

sounds like frenzy to me.. stay strong.. don't make any rash decisions (of any kind) for now



kiwisub12 -> RE: Is it possible... (8/23/2008 3:30:47 PM)

Sounds like emotional panic to me. Extreme fear of losing him? of ruining your relationship? fear that he will give you the boot?  It all sounds a bit dramatic to me, but I'm not a sweet young thing any more. Take deep breaths, and go for a lonnnnnngg walk!  You aren't going to lose him over a squabble on the phone. He will calm down and get back to you, and it isn't your job to beat yourself up - its his!

lighten up a little and realise that one bad bump in any given relationship isn't going to derail it.  been there, lived through that. 

trust me - i'm a nurse![:)]



BoundDragon -> RE: Is it possible... (8/23/2008 3:45:03 PM)

Awww thanks.... its a weird feeling Ive not had before.. well... the closest to it was a drop I had after a particularly tough scene for me.
Generally he lies me down with my head on his lap as he strokes my hair.... I relax and centre and all is right with the world.
But with this current scenario its taking some controlling in my mind. Still thinking of sleeping off the bed.... may help to kick start a bit of soul searching so that tomorrow I'll have a fresh view of the matter... and myself.

Thanks again



kiwisub12 -> RE: Is it possible... (8/23/2008 3:53:01 PM)

Seriously - going for a long walk, or doing some exercise is a great way to stop your mind from running amok.  good for the old bod. too.
You are obviously way keyed up, and need to relax, and exercise is definitely the way to go.               hugs.



BoundDragon -> RE: Is it possible... (8/23/2008 3:57:39 PM)

Done... a good old run in the moring me thinks... its a  beautiful route I use... through forestry, up onto a hill where you can see for miles. Its like the whole world just opens up in front of you... it makes me feel so small in the scheme of things but in a comforting way... very humbling.
Its gone midnight here so best to try and sleep til daybreak I suppose.

Care to join me kiwisub?? I'll show you where the badger sets are.... thanks for the hugs... they always help[:)][:)]

Cant sleep now so posting a few thread replies concentrating on positives... trying not to be a sulky sub[;)]



kiwisub12 -> RE: Is it possible... (8/24/2008 8:50:49 AM)

There you go - and i would take you up on the offer in a heartbeat. Your route sounds beautiful!

Hope you are better today. [:)]



califsue -> RE: Is it possible... (8/24/2008 9:56:30 AM)

Bound...I wish you well and certainly understand how you feel.
 
Master and I don't live together and due to circumstances with his parents and other things we have gone 3 weeks or longer between visits and I am like you...I miss him...the physical touches and such and then as well this week I sent him off a steaming email. He responded promptly and I did apologize in the morning but I felt like kicking myself in the head for a few days. He accepted the apology.
 
Big hugs and the run/walk up the hill in the forests sounds wonderful. I have always found being in the mountains to ground me, I find it serene and beautiful.



DesFIP -> RE: Is it possible... (8/24/2008 2:42:27 PM)

Back when we were ldr I would start getting a little weird after about three weeks. I would feel majorly insecure, unwanted etc. I found it very helpful to know I wasn't alone in missing him, that he felt badly also. And yeah, three weeks were about as long as I could go before becoming emotionally upset. These days we live together and god forbid we have to be apart, neither of us handles it well.



califsue -> RE: Is it possible... (8/24/2008 3:14:09 PM)

Des...thanks for posting this. I find this is so true for me. We live about 75 miles apart so it is hard since we don't see other during the week. It is nice to know that most likely we all have these feelings when away from our M/D.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Back when we were ldr I would start getting a little weird after about three weeks. I would feel majorly insecure, unwanted etc. I found it very helpful to know I wasn't alone in missing him, that he felt badly also. And yeah, three weeks were about as long as I could go before becoming emotionally upset. These days we live together and god forbid we have to be apart, neither of us handles it well.



BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: Is it possible... (8/24/2008 3:37:46 PM)

Sounds like a bit of an anxiety attack to me.  As others have said, get out, get some fresh air, do some exercise......... just do something.

Being apart stinks, and even moreso when there is a misunderstanding or miscommunication.  And that in itself can bring on the anxiety demons.

Best of luck to you!




lostkitten2 -> RE: Is it possible... (8/24/2008 3:40:59 PM)

Relationships are hard, and arguments happen, but it's all exponentially hard when there is distance. So the miscommunication is normal, and the desire to be touched is absolutely normal. The woods are very replenishing of spirit as is running water, so if you can walk there, do it. Just keep in mind that it's all going to work out, and you can't really break a love bond. You can only give it up.
It's probably very hard for him too, as hard as it is for you, so he is going to be more sensitive as well (yes, men ARE VERY sensitive) so give him some patience. I'm sure he'd love to hold you in his arms and tell you everything is ok.
There is a song I like that has this sentiment in it by Snow Patrol called " Set The Fire To The Third Bar" which is all about being afar from your love. "I'm miles from where you are, and I lay down on the cold ground. I pray that something picks me up and sets me down in your warm arms." That thought gets me through times apart.



Aileen1968 -> RE: Is it possible... (8/25/2008 4:53:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoundDragon

to experience a drop despite the lack of scening???

To give you my scenario.. I live 200 miles away from him although we are desperately saving to live together & also marry.
The problem comes that its only been three weeks since I saw him last & my submissiveness has gone uber-mad & I am pining for just the touch of his hand or to feel his eyes upon me.
The problem comes with this.... therehas been a slight disagreement between us just where wires were crossed no big deal... but in my effort to ask him for his side of the story (so I can understand & learn) I have only made matters worse as he thinks I was being bratty & sarcastic with him.... its sooooo hard over the phone!!!

The last time we had a minor fall out (doesnt happen very often) I just hit such a low.... I stayed curled up on the end of my bed & didnt move.... couldnt sleep etc.
Tonight I feel like its gonns be another sleepless night... like being in a real live nightmare, I'm really panicy about the situation. I cant even face trying to sleep on the bed, I feel like as I am in disgrace I should curl up on the floor with my duvet.
All my motivation just seemed to disappear (not in a sulky way... just all energy for it gone) and I have had the shakes.

Could this be a form of drop?? I'm certain his hand stroking my hair brushing against my cheek would ground me again but we are too far appart & he's gone off to compose himself so no talking until he's got himself over it


I can so relate to this.  This is exactly what I'm going through.  Yeah you can drop.  I know I am.



BoundDragon -> RE: Is it possible... (8/27/2008 2:00:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lostkitten2

There is a song I like that has this sentiment in it by Snow Patrol called " Set The Fire To The Third Bar" which is all about being afar from your love. "I'm miles from where you are, and I lay down on the cold ground. I pray that something picks me up and sets me down in your warm arms." That thought gets me through times apart.


That is one of my favourite Songs!!!

So I return to give you some feedback but firstly I want to thank everyone for such understanding responses. It really did help me calm down and deal with things more rationally (although I felt far more comfortable sleeping on the floor that night). The good news is he called me the next & for the first time ever I was firm but fair with him.. I explained that if he'd given me the chance to explain myself fully I was just asking for clarification of his view in the matter. He had agreed that yes I was asking him for help but at the time he was feeling impatient and "lost it" I decided to apologise for not being clearer in the first place & he apologised to me.
He has promised me my favourite hug and hair stroke when I see him in a couple of weeks. Also we are looking for a new collar for me too[:)][:)] All of a sudden things are looking better
Today I have applied for more information in regards to getting a house together... hopefully we wont be apart much longer.

Oh yeah... and I did go for a run the morning after... and yes the run is soooo beautiful... I always feel at peace with myself after doing it (and a little knackered too)



Wildfleurs -> RE: Is it possible... (8/27/2008 2:16:30 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BoundDragon

to experience a drop despite the lack of scening???

To give you my scenario.. I live 200 miles away from him although we are desperately saving to live together & also marry.
The problem comes that its only been three weeks since I saw him last & my submissiveness has gone uber-mad & I am pining for just the touch of his hand or to feel his eyes upon me.
The problem comes with this.... therehas been a slight disagreement between us just where wires were crossed no big deal... but in my effort to ask him for his side of the story (so I can understand & learn) I have only made matters worse as he thinks I was being bratty & sarcastic with him.... its sooooo hard over the phone!!!

The last time we had a minor fall out (doesnt happen very often) I just hit such a low.... I stayed curled up on the end of my bed & didnt move.... couldnt sleep etc.
Tonight I feel like its gonns be another sleepless night... like being in a real live nightmare, I'm really panicy about the situation. I cant even face trying to sleep on the bed, I feel like as I am in disgrace I should curl up on the floor with my duvet.
All my motivation just seemed to disappear (not in a sulky way... just all energy for it gone) and I have had the shakes.

Could this be a form of drop?? I'm certain his hand stroking my hair brushing against my cheek would ground me again but we are too far appart & he's gone off to compose himself so no talking until he's got himself over it


This doesn't sound like drop - it sounds like you are bummed because you miss him and because you had a tiff.

C~



DestroyingAngel -> RE: Is it possible... (8/28/2008 8:40:13 AM)

excellent advice from kiwisub, yes sounds like a depresive panic. remember your thoughts create feelings and feelings can create a crisis. do things to take care of yourself, walk, listen to music, bathe, whatever helps you feel better. even if you don't give it to your partner try writing a clear letter about your feelings, good luck!



sistermargaret -> RE: Is it possible... (8/28/2008 10:45:31 AM)

Now see, THIS is why these message boards are such a great thing. i thought i was the only one who suffers like that. And i'm not a sweet young thing, lol. Thanks for sharing and i'm so glad things worked out well for you both. Its been said this is all about enduring. Life itself is about enduring, i think. Be well and good luck with the house.
sm



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