12 Things a Man Should not do, If he wants laid! (Full Version)

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BIllCT -> 12 Things a Man Should not do, If he wants laid! (8/25/2008 4:50:34 AM)

 
1) Don't smile at a woman and pick your nose and say honey want to have dinner?
2) Don't take a woman to a movie and fart till the whole place stinks?
3) Don't stare at a women's breasts from the moment you pick her up till you take her home!
4) Never grab a woman by her ass and say nice buns bitch, lets fuck on the first date!
5) Never ignore a woman and what she says if ya want to get laid, ya don't listen they tain't giving!
6) Never stop a woman from shopping, no shopping no fun, and your all done.
7) Never take a woman dancing then not dance yourself, good way to loose her if ya do.
8) Never ever tell a woman do it yourself I am tied of doing it for you, she will tell you what the hell do I have you for then!
9) Never ever do anything sexually to a woman that she says she will not do, if you do it will be the last time you touch her.
10) Finally never ever, and I mean ever kiss a woman and not have brushed your teeth or used mouthwash!
11) Never ask a woman for her sister's or girlfriend's phone number!
12 Never ever get caught doing another woman by the woman you say ya love, you will pay for that piece of ass for a long time!




Paulnz -> RE: 12 Things a Man Should not do, If he wants laid! (8/25/2008 6:55:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BIllCT



4) Never grab a woman by her ass and say nice buns bitch, lets fuck on the first date!



I have to disagree, that works for me every time.





Owner59 -> RE: 12 Things a Man Should not do, If he wants laid! (8/25/2008 6:57:45 AM)

Never say "I forgot my money,could you pay for diner".




VirginPotty -> RE: 12 Things a Man Should not do, If he wants laid! (8/25/2008 12:19:09 PM)

1) Don't smile at a woman and pick your nose and say honey want to have dinner?

That one ALWAYS gets me hot![sm=sex.gif]




sirsholly -> RE: 12 Things a Man Should not do, If he wants laid! (8/25/2008 12:21:48 PM)

don't show up for a blind date and be ugly. I hurt myself climbing out of the restroom window.




shivermetimbers -> RE: 12 Things a Man Should not do, If he wants laid! (8/25/2008 12:43:18 PM)

Don't ever disregard the antipsychotics in her medicine cabinet.  There's a reason for them.




sirsholly -> RE: 12 Things a Man Should not do, If he wants laid! (8/25/2008 12:50:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: shivermetimbers

Don't ever disregard the antipsychotics in her medicine cabinet.  There's a reason for them.


ooo....it was not nice of you to peek in my medicine chest and i WILL tell you so in person...the next time they let me out on a day pass.




subtee -> RE: 12 Things a Man Should not do, If he wants laid! (8/25/2008 12:52:49 PM)





12 Things a Man Should not do, If he wants laid! Don't forgo verbs




Satyr6406 -> RE: 12 Things a Man Should not do, If he wants laid! (8/25/2008 1:02:27 PM)

I guess it matters how badly one wants sex. I cook so, I enjoy food shopping but, there is no way I am going to any store with a lady in tow!
 
I'd rather stay home and do the ol' "five-knuckle-shuffle-on-the-piss-pump"
 
 




subtee -> RE: 12 Things a Man Should not do, If he wants laid! (8/25/2008 1:09:15 PM)

God, I so much wanna long, hard, sloppy shopping session with you right now...

and I hate shopping.

(Hi, where you been?)




Satyr6406 -> RE: 12 Things a Man Should not do, If he wants laid! (8/25/2008 1:13:36 PM)

You're just being contrary!




Gwynvyd -> RE: 12 Things a Man Should not do, If he wants laid! (8/25/2008 2:41:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

don't show up for a blind date and be ugly. I hurt myself climbing out of the restroom window.


Nope.. got one worse for ya Holly...

Dont show up for a blind date.. be missing body parts.. that you didnt warn the gal about.. and then talk about how much of a mac daddy you are.. and you are not quite sure that your date is "hot enough" for ya. ~ Mofo will be missing *more* body parts.

( Yes that actualy happened to me ~ put me off of dating men for a good long while) ~ I ran into 3 of them missing body parts that didnt think it pertinent info for me to have before we met in person. One had a damn flipper.. ~ No joking. I am ok with flippers.. and missing body parts.. just dont chat me up for months ( in some cases) and then not tell me things like.. Oh BTW I have a flipper for one arm, and one leg. Throws a gal off.

Gwyn,
Who has had some seriously bad blind dates.





Raechard -> RE: 12 Things a Man Should not do, If he wants laid! (8/25/2008 2:55:13 PM)

Would have been good at BBQ's etc.

Probably an ex McD's employee; that organisation has some cruel body modification techniques for streamlining production.




subtee -> RE: 12 Things a Man Should not do, If he wants laid! (8/25/2008 3:39:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gwynvyd

Nope.. got one worse for ya Holly...

Dont show up for a blind date.. be missing body parts.. that you didnt warn the gal about.. and then talk about how much of a mac daddy you are.. and you are not quite sure that your date is "hot enough" for ya. ~ Mofo will be missing *more* body parts.

( Yes that actualy happened to me ~ put me off of dating men for a good long while) ~ I ran into 3 of them missing body parts that didnt think it pertinent info for me to have before we met in person. One had a damn flipper.. ~ No joking. I am ok with flippers.. and missing body parts.. just dont chat me up for months ( in some cases) and then not tell me things like.. Oh BTW I have a flipper for one arm, and one leg. Throws a gal off.

Gwyn,
Who has had some seriously bad blind dates.




OMG Thanks for choke-slash-pee

ow




sblady -> RE: 12 Things a Man Should not do, If he wants laid! (8/25/2008 4:16:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: shivermetimbers

Don't ever disregard the antipsychotics in her medicine cabinet.  There's a reason for them.


[sm=LMAO.gif] 




christine1 -> RE: 12 Things a Man Should not do, If he wants laid! (8/25/2008 5:25:50 PM)

don't use your salad fork to scratch your head with while we're waiting for dinner.  that one made me turn a bit green after he ate from the same fork later. [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m15.gif[/image]




tammystarm -> RE: 12 Things a Man Should not do, If he wants laid! (8/25/2008 5:36:17 PM)

forget to take the damn wedding ring off, in a hurry buddy? or was it the last time you cheated your wiffie had it implanted on Your finger...




Jeffff -> RE: 12 Things a Man Should not do, If he wants laid! (8/25/2008 6:53:42 PM)

What if the man just ... takes it............

just a thought

Jeff




scifi1133 -> RE: 12 Things a Man Should not do, If he wants laid! (8/25/2008 10:24:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gwynvyd

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

don't show up for a blind date and be ugly. I hurt myself climbing out of the restroom window.


Nope.. got one worse for ya Holly...

Dont show up for a blind date.. be missing body parts.. that you didnt warn the gal about.. and then talk about how much of a mac daddy you are.. and you are not quite sure that your date is "hot enough" for ya. ~ Mofo will be missing *more* body parts.

( Yes that actualy happened to me ~ put me off of dating men for a good long while) ~ I ran into 3 of them missing body parts that didnt think it pertinent info for me to have before we met in person. One had a damn flipper.. ~ No joking. I am ok with flippers.. and missing body parts.. just dont chat me up for months ( in some cases) and then not tell me things like.. Oh BTW I have a flipper for one arm, and one leg. Throws a gal off.

Gwyn,
Who has had some seriously bad blind dates.


Wow thought Id had some bad dates.




sunshinemiss -> RE: 12 Things a Man Should not do, If he wants laid! (8/25/2008 10:38:16 PM)

Hi hi,
Don't go on a date with a gal and mention at some point during the date that you believe you are truly a woman and you are planning to have sex change surgery at some point in the near future.  And "since you are bi, I didn't think you'd mind."

Honey, I mind.

sunshine




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