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RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 1:25:48 PM   
MizSexyVixen


Posts: 137
Joined: 6/6/2008
Status: offline 		I have no preference concerning dom, domme, dominatrix, dominatrice, dominant, dominator, they all work.

For some reason, people felt it was necessary (I do love how the English language evolves) to specify gender when saying "dom," thus "domme" was born. I use the term, it specifies I am female, and I celebrate that daily.

Personally, I find labels very useful, What people chose or not chose to call themselves says a lot to me. That our language chooses to specify the female dom but not the male slave. . . reveals a great deal about where we are.

Just saying.

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(in reply to Sylverdawn)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 2:13:29 PM   
Pyrrsefanie


Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline 		I still prefer Domme over Dom for myself, but then again I'm a girly-girl so those feminine suffixes really give me an e-boner.

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Ти саркастична, це – доля,
Ти артистична в неволі,
Ти симпатична в цій ролі,
Ти синтетична до болю

Read my series, Taking Jessica, on http://www.akashaweb.com !

(in reply to Paulnz)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 3:34:46 PM   
Paulnz


Posts: 411
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sylverdawn

Who I am.. plays a part in what I do... my occupation is my career.. I am not a professional Dominant so I do generally go to work dressed in a corset .. nor do I go to work in a pair of riding boots... both are things I do.. but no matter what I am doing I am always DOMINANT.. its is part of my nature..if you get my drift.. I dont have to have a slave to be Dominant.. infact I may never have encountered bdsm and I would still be a DOMINANT.. I just happen to like to beat people.. if I never lifted a paddle I would still be a dominant female..While I maybe have been a truck driver at one point in my life I need not always remain so.. I will always be Dominant.. Ihope that helps you understand my position on this topic.

Sd


You are making perfect sense. What I wonder, and this is pure speculation, is whether the idea of the dominant woman is linked to the professional role of dominatrix. Dominatrix as missionary.


(in reply to Sylverdawn)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 3:41:57 PM   
Paulnz


Posts: 411
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina


The made up internet slang "domme" a attempt to feminize a word that is genderless, and makes me ill to hear.



Except I've shown and someone else confirmed that making the word gender specific is OK. Like Actor/Actress. If someone is called Jo, and you had never heard of that person before, but they were described to you as an actress, you'd know they were talking about a woman. That could be useful if you were looking for an actress. 

(in reply to UmbraDomina)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 3:45:15 PM   
Paulnz


Posts: 411
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW



the term domina is a term of English nobility indicating a woman who holds land in her own name (rather than in the name of a husband or on behalf of a male relative).




I didn't know that.

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 3:47:14 PM   
Paulnz


Posts: 411
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSexyVixen

That our language chooses to specify the female dom but not the male slave. . . reveals a great deal about where we are.

Just saying.


Good point.

(in reply to MizSexyVixen)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 4:00:42 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Again Chia mocks me with the pie... 


Get the door.

It's Dominos

chia* (the pet) 


Nice link Chia. Dominatrice > Dominatrix > Domme > Domina > Domino. 
It all starts to make sense.

(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 4:02:30 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Yet there continues to be NO PIE!

I can handle "domme" in type, it is when someone says domMAY as if it were a real word that I being to scream real loud inside my little head. 

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(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 4:18:28 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Well at least DomMAY is better than DO ME. Im still going with Babe and the cap B

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 4:20:43 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Wait wait i got it..... Pizza > Pizza cake > fruit cake > fruit PIE

Hope this helps Ma`am

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 4:23:44 PM   
plushiecat


Posts: 109
Joined: 12/18/2005
Status: offline 		I'm of the opinion that 'dom' is simply short for 'dominant', which is a gender neutral word.  To me, 'domme' is as ridiculous as 'subbe' would be.  

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 4:44:36 PM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		Domme is the word that resonates with me best.  I don't really care that it's not a "real" word (ahhhhh ... that's how new words get made).  I don't like Domina because it makes me think of ... pie!  *smiling*  A dominatrix wears better shoes and more latex and than I.

Mss

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(in reply to plushiecat)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/26/2008 11:40:47 PM   
ineedotk


Posts: 109
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		This thread has come up before.  My understanding is that a Dom is a MALE Dominant.  A Domme or Femme Domme is a FEMALE Dominant.  And the previous are more often than not Lifestyle Dominants.  A Dominatrix (which would be the less common type of Femme Domme) is a Pro Domme (Professional Dominant as opposed to a Lifestyle Dominant).  Does any of this make sense?   

(in reply to MizSexyVixen)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/27/2008 12:16:46 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		I'll just post so that I show up and confuse you more.

People use what they like...and it means something to them. For example, in my community, Master is a gender neutral as slave.

Master Fire


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(in reply to Paulnz)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/27/2008 12:53:50 AM   
Paulnz


Posts: 411
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ineedotk

This thread has come up before.  My understanding is that a Dom is a MALE Dominant.  A Domme or Femme Domme is a FEMALE Dominant.  And the previous are more often than not Lifestyle Dominants.  A Dominatrix (which would be the less common type of Femme Domme) is a Pro Domme (Professional Dominant as opposed to a Lifestyle Dominant).  Does any of this make sense?   


It makes sense apart from the Femme Domme. The Femme would be irrelevant as Domme is already feminine. Femdom would be an alternative to Domme.


(in reply to ineedotk)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/27/2008 6:18:13 AM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Again Chia mocks me with the pie... 


Get the door.

It's Dominos

chia* (the pet) 


Nice link Chia. Dominatrice > Dominatrix > Domme > Domina > Domino. 
It all starts to make sense.


Otherwise known as the Domino Theory.

chia* (the pet)

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You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/27/2008 3:10:50 PM   
HagiaSophia


Posts: 39
Joined: 4/17/2008
From: St. Petersburg/Tampa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I can handle "domme" in type, it is when someone says domMAY as if it were a real word that I being to scream real loud inside my little head. 


I couldn't agree more - the pronunciation of domme as "dom-MAY" is a bastardization of some Pseudo-French pretention. Dom, Domina, Dominatrix, even Domme (no "ay") all work, but that pronunciation is abominable. Makes me want to grab my cane and get all English Grammarian.


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Always,

Mistress Sophia

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/27/2008 4:19:27 PM   
pinnipedster


Posts: 217
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline 		I'll happily use just about any term a dominant woman prefers that I use.  But I do get a little distresed when someone posts something like, "If someone sends me a message and uses the word 'domme' I don't answer."  That person might be a terrific sub who may have been encouraged to use that word in previous encounters.

I know a woman who prefers to be referred to as a Domme; but she doesn't like to be called "Mistress," even by her collared subs; she prefers "My Lady" or "Ma'am."  If I'm addressing a woman in a scene context whom I don't know well, I will probably use "Ma'am" (I wouldn't call a woman "Mistress" without her consent or command), but I've chatted online with a woman who HATES being called "Ma'am"; she prefers "Miss."  (The same is true of a woman I know who is not in the scene, but dislikes being called "Ma'am" because it makes her feel old.)  Some women like, or at least don't object, to being referred to as ladies, while others despise it.   And I certainly wouldn't call a dominant woman a "girl" unless she told me to, but women have many different attitudes about its use for an adult woman in other social contexts.

I think as long as a person is properly respectful, being that picky about a lable is kind of counter-productive.  Now, if you instruct him specifically not to use that term for you and he continues to do so, that would of course be different.  But for an innocent error, I think one ought to be tolerant.

I do agree that the term "dominatrix" to me suggests a professional dominant, but among people not actually in the scene, I don't think that distinction is clear -- you will frequently hear it used as a kind of fashion term, i.e., a woman in boots and leather is dressing "like a dominatrix." 


< Message edited by pinnipedster -- 8/27/2008 4:24:52 PM >

(in reply to HagiaSophia)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/27/2008 8:24:15 PM   
Pyrrsefanie


Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinnipedster

I'll happily use just about any term a dominant woman prefers that I use.  But I do get a little distresed when someone posts something like, "If someone sends me a message and uses the word 'domme' I don't answer."  That person might be a terrific sub who may have been encouraged to use that word in previous encounters.



But to play devil's advocate here, I think most women who have preferences as to how they're addressed will post guidelines such as this in their profile -- if the sub takes the time to read through it, he'll be able to make a mental note of it and avoid making that mistake.

Think of how I feel when I've got instructions on how NOT to contact me spread between my profile and my very short journal, and I get an inbox full of people who have just bypassed any of that "reading" crap and gone straight to the proposals.  It makes me feel ignored, which not only hurts my feelings a bit, but also frustrates the Hell out of me.


_____________________________

Ти саркастична, це – доля,
Ти артистична в неволі,
Ти симпатична в цій ролі,
Ти синтетична до болю

Read my series, Taking Jessica, on http://www.akashaweb.com !

(in reply to pinnipedster)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Dom, Domme or Dominatrix ? - 8/27/2008 11:04:39 PM   
pinnipedster


Posts: 217
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline
quote:

But to play devil's advocate here, I think most women who have preferences as to how they're addressed will post guidelines such as this in their profile -- if the sub takes the time to read through it, he'll be able to make a mental note of it and avoid making that mistake.

Think of how I feel when I've got instructions on how NOT to contact me spread between my profile and my very short journal, and I get an inbox full of people who have just bypassed any of that "reading" crap and gone straight to the proposals.  It makes me feel ignored, which not only hurts my feelings a bit, but also frustrates the Hell out of me.


Well, yes, then I agree.   A sub should certainly always read the profile and conform to any instructions there.  (If he doesn't like the instructions, contact someone else.)

(in reply to Pyrrsefanie)
Profile   Post #: 40
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