RE: Singles Only!

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LadyHibiscus -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 12:37:02 PM)
I have been alone pretty much my entire life, and I don't see that changing anytime soon. For the last several years, I have worked hard at avoiding all romantic entanglements, and it's a tough habit to break. I have a nice life, and I am not willing to disrupt it for just anyone. I am not sure how to disrupt it, period! I see myself as a person with ample free time, but I don't have a lot of ample free energy, so most men just don't seem to be worth the effort to me. I have been around the block seventy or eighty times, now, and I know what I NEED, separately from what I want. Now I am working on being happy with the idea that the person that can fulfill my needs might not be the one that I am wild for. [&:] Do I pine? Not so much. I am very lonely, but I have been even more lonely while in relationships where my partner just didn't get me at all. I am surrounded by friends and family who love me, and if I truly do wind up being romantically alone forever, well, it's not the worst thing in the world. (Play the Morissey song in your head, now, 'kay?)

GreedyTop -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 3:06:59 PM)
I'm content being single. Sometimes, I wish I had someone to share my life with.. but I get over it pretty quickly;)

beargonewild -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 3:22:37 PM)
Being single is fine and have spent the majority of my adult life single though interrupted by a few relationships that ended disastrously. In many ways I do enjoy being single and having a greater sense of freedom to do what I please. What I found was it is also a very lonely way of life, especially when I do yearn to have one to call my partner/spouse. I had learned over the years that I don't need another to give myself validation as I found validation in knowing I am a decent person who does have much to give to another. I believe what it all boils down to is I want and need to have a person in my life to share all I have to offer. I miss waking up in the morning alone and I hate going to sleep in an empty bed. I miss the simple comfort of going up to my partner and whispering in his ear "I Love You" or even having a minor tiff over where to go on a saturday night. This really hits home when I've went to a friend's wedding and I find myself sitting back and wondering if I'm destined to be single forever and if I'll ever be lucky enough to have someone whom I'd have no problems on making a commitment of that magnitude. Mind you I know myself well enough that see I have a fulfilling life with family and friends who care for me and I care for them. Sometimes it just doesn't seem quite enough and there''s still something "missing." Yeah, underneath I am a hopeless romantic and I do get very sentimental. I don't see that as a bad thing, it's just a part of who I am as a person.

MizSexyVixen -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 3:26:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: beargonewild Being single is fine and have spent the majority of my adult life single though interrupted by a few relationships that ended disastrously. In many ways I do enjoy being single and having a greater sense of freedom to do what I please. What I found was it is also a very lonely way of life, especially when I do yearn to have one to call my partner/spouse. I had learned over the years that I don't need another to give myself validation as I found validation in knowing I am a decent person who does have much to give to another. I believe what it all boils down to is I want and need to have a person in my life to share all I have to offer. I miss waking up in the morning alone and I hate going to sleep in an empty bed. I miss the simple comfort of going up to my partner and whispering in his ear "I Love You" or even having a minor tiff over where to go on a saturday night. This really hits home when I've went to a friend's wedding and I find myself sitting back and wondering if I'm destined to be single forever and if I'll ever be lucky enough to have someone whom I'd have no problems on making a commitment of that magnitude. Mind you I know myself well enough that see I have a fulfilling life with family and friends who care for me and I care for them. Sometimes it just doesn't seem quite enough and there''s still something "missing." Yeah, underneath I am a hopeless romantic and I do get very sentimental. I don't see that as a bad thing, it's just a part of who I am as a person. Nice post. I think you have to be really good with who you are. Be happy, single or not. Do I want someone who could be a real partner to me...YES!! Do I need that..well I won't die with out it.

Gwynvyd -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 5:36:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cjan Darn, and I was till pining for that shallow, meaningless sexual/ oral relationship. Ummm, we couldalso go to the movies , discuss books and I'd still cook for you, of course....and, and, don't forget the massages, tee. sigh [sm=cactus.gif] And I moved from Ft. Myers why???? winks Chuckles Gwyn

IrishMist -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 5:43:10 PM)
I am quite content with my solitude. I have been 'sort of' alone now for over 10 years ( with the exception of the youngins ), and have gotten used to being by myself. The only way I see that ever changing is if someone was to come along who could knock the feet out from under me; literally and figuritively.

colouredin -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 5:59:54 PM)
I am mostly single even in many of my past relationships in actual fact I was single, hard to explain really except to say that I am so picky, I really do like my own company an excessive amount I enjoy being alone and i can resent it when someone else demands my time because I am so used to having it to play with. Im not happy being single though because of course i have the terrible grass is greener thing (though of course in my experiance when i do start up relationship I wish I were single again) I think the main reason is actually that im just not ready for a relationship proper and I am starting to get to the age where that is what is expected of you. I feel i have far too much to learn about myself and my opinions and the world and life before I decide that I want to share me with other people, call me selfish but its true, I am not saying I havent learned from the relationships that I have been in and I am not saying I didnt enjoy them, they were nice breaks and they have helped me see things, mostly they have helped me see that I am not ready for them. It is as they say you have to love yourself before you love someone else and though I am getting there I am not there yet and its not really something I can rush. Until that point being anything other than pretty much single would be both unfair to me and to anyone I got involved with. kinda bittersweet i guess.

GreedyTop -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 6:17:56 PM)
hugs the colourful one Smart girl :) smooch

Gwynvyd -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 6:19:49 PM)
sighs I hate this question... ugh It is a hard one for me to answer. I know what the answer is.. it is just hard to say it. I have gone from one solid realtionship to another.... with some times spaces of years in between. I am happy with myself at this point.. I have a lot of work to do on me.. and this down time is helpful with that. I for once am not busy fixing someone else. ~ That has been every realtionship now looking back. I now realise that those realtionships were never equal... I was never fulfilled in them. I was taking care of those people just like I had taken care of my mother for all of those years. In the end.. the romantic feelings I had for those people were very minimal in the end. I saw them more as children or siblings I had cared for. For a while I felt as if I had wasted those years.. 5 years with one.. 7 with another... ( a couple of one or two year relationships inbetween.) Even with those long term relationships I was more alone in them then outside of them. I was waiting for "The One" I found him.. and then it all fell through. I am now worried as hell that there is no Second "The One's" out there. I kept from getting married.. or too emotionaly entangled because I wanted to wait for him. Now that is over I simply do not know what to think any more. I have known the greatest heights of happiness... and the deepest lows. I do miss comming home to someone.. snuggling on the couch watching movies.. having someone other then the um to talk to, cook for.. and go out with. Someone to sleep next to.. and say Good morning sunshine to. I seriously dislike being on my own.. but I know it is time to work on me... There has got to be someone out there who can be just as strong as I am... someone whom I do not need to hold thier hand on every step. Some one who can be here for me as much as I am there for them. Someone who can be an equal partner... When or if that happens well.. who knows? Gwyn

Jeffff -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 7:57:09 PM)
Damnit!. I only have a 10..... change anyone? Jeff

GreedyTop -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 8:01:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff Damnit!. I only have a 10..... change anyone? Jeff snort

CalifChick -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 8:02:53 PM)
I stopped settling for 50% of what I needed and wanted, and became much happier. Pretty much gave up on ever finding that 51% or better. But sometimes the oddsmaker decides it's your turn and throws you a curve ball that has a lot of promise to it. We'll see. Cali (yes, I know, mixing mixing mixing my metaphors)

Jeffff -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 8:06:54 PM)
I like being single. or at least living alone... ..It is not that I would object to some one special in my life, as a mater of fact I think I would welcome it. As long as she had her own place. I know........ I have not, " met the right person"" The thing is, the right person doesn't change who I am. I will never say never but.... Jeff edited for what else............ typing

angelspassion4u -> RE: Singles Only! (8/26/2008 8:44:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subtee So let’s get specific: Are you satisfied being single? *----No I am not satisfied being single, I dislike it. I miss the emotional closeness, physical contact, compainionship, and being wanted.* Are you pining for a partner? *----I am not pining but am actively looking for one.* If you feel like it, write to the statements below in detail. I am ready and available for commitment: *----Yes, I am ready and avaiable for a relationship* I know what I want: *----Yes, I want a long term relationship, someone in for the long haul* I know my requirements: *----Yes, I know the type of man I am looking for or someone close to what I am looking for.* I am satisfied with my work/career: *----Yes and no, I like my job working for the school system because I get the same time off as my kids. I would rather be a stay at home mom/wife* I am healthy in mind, body, and spirit: *----As best as I can at this time in my life* My financial and legal business is handled: *----As best as I can at this time in my life* My family relationships are functional: *----Yes, not the ideal but it works for us* I have effective dating skills: *----I hope so it has been a long while since I have been in the dating scene lol*

everhope -> RE: Singles Only! (8/27/2008 11:26:17 AM)
i do better in an intimate relationship, but i don't do so bad being single either. i don't like dating. i miss having the depth of intimacy that being in a "i love you with my whole heart" relationship. in all of my long and longer relationships, there was no long drawn out dating thing...we just knew almost instantly we were destined to be together. i think this is why dating is hard for me...i have never had to do it. may we all find our bliss

ResidentSadist -> RE: Singles Only! (8/27/2008 6:25:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subtee ...So let’s get specific: Are you satisfied being single? Are you pining for a partner? If you feel like it, write to the statements below in detail.... I am a plural kinda’ guy. Single doesn’t sit well with me. When I cook, it is never for 1, it’s for many. I don’t have recipes for less. The same is true with all my business, personal and emotional skills. I want to go to bed at night, lock the house, secure my family & property, chain my slaves and enjoy the passions of love every single night… and in the morning most of the time too. I am and always have been trained as a leader. I want a family, I am an awesome dad and fantastic head of the house. I include the kids as part of the family life, they are an asset never a burden. Children do not cause the sacrifice of passion or romantic joy I share with my partners. I want partners. I can make babies alone but a family needs more than just a dad to be balanced. So I am plural because single doesn’t sit well with me. I don’t even know where to began or how to set up motivational structures for solo. Flying solo, I’m happy just chillin’ by the pool, working out and going the beach… which constitutes the majority of my activities for the past 3 months while I have been single. Aug 1st I finally started working again. Why did I start working again? Because my ex slave and her new guy “are counting on me” to help them because his money was in real estate. Now they need cash. So I have a purpose again. I have someone that needs me, knows me, cares about me and I can be help lead them to prosperity. I haven’t found anyone else that got the hang of how to motivate me like that in a while. I wish the money itself was enough to motivate me but it isn’t. I have been financially comfortable more than once in the past. It’s nothing I am in a hurry for again and so I have been rather relaxed about it. I have been happy whether it was a 20 dollar budget renting a video, drinking cheap wine and curling up in front of the fireplace at home or it was a lifestyle that spent $1,328.71 a day in entertainment expenses on fancy drinks, rare epicurean delights, chauffeured cars and custom clothes. It’s all about the quality of the company you keep in my world, not the cost of your environment. So how can I be single and measure my life by the quality of my partners if I have none? I’ve been a millionaire, I’ve been happy in my career, I know how to fuck and how to date… I got friends and family. I don’t have partners to help take over the world and build a “house”, an immediate family and a dynasty with a lasting legacy. I am a plural kinda’ guy.

lronitulstahp -> RE: Singles Only! (8/27/2008 6:36:31 PM)
quote: I have been around the block seventy or eighty times, now coughslut*cough[8\|]

LadySunn -> RE: Singles Only! (8/27/2008 8:43:12 PM)
I'm living at home without a partner. I'm happy to be me and live for my enjoyment. I am actively seeking.

EvilGenie -> RE: Singles Only! (8/27/2008 11:09:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subtee Ha. I see all you coupled people. It’s okay you can play too, but I’d prefer your responses are specific to the status of singlehood. I know you worship your Master and have found beatitude with your slave; that’s for another forum, please. It seems to me we are more likely to express satisfaction or even happiness with the circumstances in which we find ourselves. In other words, singles will express delight with being single, coupled folks will tell you it’s bliss to be together. So let’s get specific: Are you satisfied being single? *During the periods when I was single, yes I was happy.* Are you pining for a partner? When I was single I was not pining for a partner. Usually I had left a not so good situation. If you feel like it, write to the statements below in detail. I am ready and available for commitment: I have no emotional or legal baggage from a previous relationship. My schedule, commitments and lifestyle allow my availability to build a new relationship. Yes though it took me a long time to get there. I am happy and successful being single: I enjoy my life, my work, my family, my friends, and my own company. I am living the life that I want, and I am not seeking a relationship out of desperation and need. When I was single I enjoyed all of this save a highly dysfunctional family. I now enjoy them more as much of it has changed for the better; career, new friends and family. I never sought out a relationship from desperation or need but through want. I wanted it but could be happy without it. I know what I want: I have a clear vision for my life and relationship. I can envision my perfect life in rich detail that feels strong, very real, and keeps me motivated. This is a key for me. It took me a long time to find my clear vision. I think I always had a clear vision but allowed myself to ''settle'' for less at times. I know my requirements: I have a written list of at least ten non-negotiable requirements that I use for screening potential partners. I am clear that if any are missing, a relationship will not work for me. This is what changed everything for me. It took me many years and a great deal of soul searching to really know and become friends with my requirements. Once I knew that I would not settle for less than 100% from a partner just as I was willing to give 100%, everything changed for me. I learned that what I wanted and valued was important and that I could not live without what I wanted and needed being met. I had to place (learn to) a high value on me before I could expect to find what I was worth in a relationship. I am satisfied with my work/career: My work is fulfilling, supports my lifestyle, and does not interfere with my availability for a new relationship. I am in the middle of one of my career's changing and am very happy with my new direction finally. My other career writing will never change much and I am happy with that.** I am healthy in mind, body, and spirit: My physical, mental, or emotional health does not interfere with having the life and relationship that I want. I am reasonably happy and feel good. I am as good as I am going to get though am going through a very difficult period at the moment. Once this is resolved then I see no reason why I will not go back to my very happy and content status. My financial and legal business is handled: I have no financial or legal issues that would interfere with having the life and relationship that I want. *Yes.* My family relationships are functional: My relationships with my children, ex, siblings, parents, and extended family do not interfere with having the life and relationship that I want. *My own family relationships within my family have never been functional, ever and still are not. However, my relationships with my Moroccan family are sublime, loving and highly functional.* I have effective dating skills: I initiate contact with people I want to meet, and disengage from people who are not a match for me. I keep my physical and emotional boundaries, and balance my heart with my head with potential partners. When I was single just before I met my husband, yes. Before that I needed a great deal of work on breaking a cycle of abusive relationships which I successfully accomplished. Again, it was a very long road of self searching. Boundaries were an issue years ago which were also conquered successfully. I have effective relationship skills: I understand relationships, can maintain closeness and intimacy, communicate authentically and assertively, negotiate difference positively, allow myself to trust and be vulnerable, and can give and receive love without emotional barriers.A definitive yes. [http://www.raleighrelationshipcoaching.com/quiz/] More…(anything else you’d like to share)…and thank you

scifi1133 -> RE: Singles Only! (8/27/2008 11:15:20 PM)
I'm happy enough on my own right now. I've never really pined away wishing for a partner. If one comes along great. If not well i know how to cook lol. And theres always the internet for porn lmao.

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