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And then the fight started....‏ - 8/26/2008 10:18:41 AM

beargonewild

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After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to
apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my
driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to
go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.

   And then the fight started.....

*****************************************************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring
at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'  'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.
'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

    And then the fight started.....


*****************************************************************

I rear-ended a car this morning.   So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started...

*************************************************************
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.  She is not happy
with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.      I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight 's damn near perfect.'

And then.....

< Message edited by beargonewild -- 8/26/2008 10:21:27 AM >

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RE: And then the fight started....‏ - 8/26/2008 11:04:02 AM

bondagelover1950

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LMAO Any one of those would start a good knock-down, drag out row

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RE: And then the fight started....‏ - 8/26/2008 11:50:00 AM

BlackPhx

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and that Your Honor, Is when I killed him...

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RE: And then the fight started....‏ - 8/26/2008 12:09:21 PM

darchChylde

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'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'

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This has long been one of my favorite jokes. Among our circle of friends, just exclaiming that bit before the punchline is enough to start laughing fits.

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RE: And then the fight started....‏ - 8/26/2008 1:02:16 PM

Thadius

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Afternoon Bear,

Thanks for the laughs...

Also I didn't realize you were a fan of Manowar. Great album and song.

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When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends." ~ Japanese Proverb

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RE: And then the fight started....‏ - 8/26/2008 1:30:02 PM

aggressiveblkdom

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Oh man....those were hilarious. Good stuff, LMAO.

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RE: And then the fight started....‏ - 8/26/2008 5:56:53 PM

beargonewild

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Thadius

Afternoon Bear,

Thanks for the laughs...

Also I didn't realize you were a fan of Manowar. Great album and song.

Evening Thadius,

Back in my college days, a friend of mine got me listening to that album of theirs. I was always partial to Judas Priest but he thought they were too wussy and wanted me to listen to "real" heavy metal!

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RE: And then the fight started....‏ - 8/26/2008 5:59:28 PM

tammystarm

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hey thats my line poen ;( ok we shall share.... that and

Your not a lady, your nuffin' but a sista~ Aristocats

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RE: And then the fight started....‏ - 8/26/2008 6:02:17 PM

Thadius

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They are still touring and recording.

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RE: And then the fight started....‏ - 8/27/2008 6:07:28 PM

virgini970

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now now that was the funest thing i have heard realy

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RE: And then the fight started....‏ - 8/27/2008 7:01:31 PM

sblady

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RE: And then the fight started....‏ - 8/28/2008 6:15:28 AM

BlackPhx

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*snicker* the one I use to use when my ex husband got on my last nerve..

"I had to shoot him your Honor..He wouldn't eat the Mushroom soup and the Hammer kept bouncing off his head."

poenkitten

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