High Protocol (Full Version)

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Ready2ServeUNow -> High Protocol (8/26/2008 6:35:53 PM)

I have been in this lifestyle for a few years but still have things to learn. I always hear people saying they want a high protocol relationship. Is that different than a 24/7 relationship? I mean exactly what is meant by it. I know a slave is supposed to show devotion to its owner always but is "high protocol" calling for more than that? If so what is it calling for?



softpjOS -> RE: High Protocol (8/26/2008 6:50:52 PM)

first, welcome to the boards :)
 
quote:

I always hear people saying they want a high protocol relationship. Is that different than a 24/7 relationship? I mean exactly what is meant by it. I know a slave is supposed to show devotion to its owner always but is "high protocol" calling for more than that? If so what is it calling for?


Any relationship is determined by those directly involved in it.  So to ask if it can be any different from any other, the answer will always be Yup.
 
My personal thoughts on high protocol would be a Dominant that prefers to have stricter control of more activities, ie: speech restrictions, eye contact restrictions, permission to speak, permission to eat, permission to use the bathroom.  It can also indicate incorporating more rituals such as taking positions (kneeling etc), serving beverages/food in a specific manner to name just a couple. 
 
Some relationships use these in every day life, some Dominants will require a higher protocol of behavior/movements say at a formal dinner, some may never wish to use them. 
 
It all comes down to the individual relationship, no two will be the same :)
 

 
 



chamberqueen -> RE: High Protocol (8/26/2008 6:52:20 PM)

It is a more formal set of rules.  It might include forms of address, style of attire, ways of handling public meetings like munches, etc.  There is still room for variation but your prospective partner may be looking for something like a "true" leather lifestyle.  Feel free to ask them what THEY feel they desire along the protocol line.



Dnomyar -> RE: High Protocol (8/27/2008 5:04:23 AM)

 Protocol is for the serious player. The average person on here does not wish to be that formal.  



chiaThePet -> RE: High Protocol (8/27/2008 6:14:14 AM)

 
Borgarting is forbidden.

chia* (the pet)



undergroundsea -> RE: High Protocol (8/27/2008 6:46:23 AM)

Imagine the protocols and status differences that might have been there in an aristrocratic house in the Victorian or Edwardian era.

Cheers,

Sea



tsatske -> RE: High Protocol (8/27/2008 6:51:26 AM)

I *know* someone is going to post and tell me I am completely wrong, because they do it. And that is fine, I believe them. Someone does everything.
For me, though, high protocol and 24/7 are, in a very basic way, opisites. I can not stand on protocol all the time. He gets called by his given name as often as he gets called 'Sir' or 'Master'. Sometimes He gets called unprintable things.
I like protocol alot. But, at it's higher levels, it is sort of a 'special occasion' thing for me. I couldn't live it all the time.
I know that what I do live in, and love, would, for many people, be high protocol - I always kneel with his drink, kiss the edge of his drink, ect. But there is a much higher level of deference that we can and do use for 'special occasions' - be that a party or public venue, or just us wanting to spend time remeber the who and why of what we are.



thetammyjo -> RE: High Protocol (8/27/2008 7:16:17 AM)

I personally consider "high protocol" to be very strongly related to micromanagement of the submissive and the dominant both. Frankly I want more flexibility and freedom than that in my life and my life damn well requires both.

If you want to see examples of "high protocol" look for some books by Robert Rubel. I know Bob and respect him but I could never ever live like he wants his household to function like.



thetammyjo -> RE: High Protocol (8/27/2008 7:17:50 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Protocol is for the serious player. The average person on here does not wish to be that formal.


There are very different types of protocols.

I think everyone has protocols in their life. The real question is how conscious are they of them, how flexible are these, and how much is required to achieve the desired goal.



Dnomyar -> RE: High Protocol (8/27/2008 7:49:40 AM)

I don't think that the op was refering to lifes protocols.



CallaFirestormBW -> RE: High Protocol (8/27/2008 11:38:25 AM)

~fast reply~

It is possible to have a 24/7 relationship without special protocols in place, and it is possible to have a non-24/7 relationship with high protocols in place. They are two completely separate aspects of D/s that can be interconnected or disconnected as preferences in a household run.

Protocols imply certain rules that govern actions or behaviors. They include things like speech requirements, eye contact limitations, terms of address, ways of dressing, etc...

Just as an example, there is a protocol in place in our household that is set in motion whenever a servant comes to our home to provide service. The very first thing the servant is required to do is announce hirself to us, using our chosen terms of address, and wait to be acknowledged and hear whether we have any emergent tasks for hir. If there are no emergent tasks, a second protocol is in place that lets hir know that the -very- next thing xhe does is make sure that my Darling has a fresh cup of tea -- after which xhe may attend to any project xhe's seen around the household that need to be attended to. Protocols like this provide structure. The amount of structure is strictly up to the individuals involved.

Because our household does use speech restrictions, eye-contact restrictions, specific forms of address, and specific patterns of behavior, we are considered a "high protocol" household. There is no real advantage to being in a high protocol household over a more relaxed structure unless a person prefers one structure over another. However, if a person is looking for a particular structure, it is important to be clear about that aspect, so that everyone is on the same page.

Calla Firestorm



thetammyjo -> RE: High Protocol (8/28/2008 6:19:16 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

I don't think that the op was refering to lifes protocols.


True.

Even within the Scene though there are different levels of protocols one may or may not be fully conscious of.

I'm a big believer in being fully conscious about what we do and attempting to understand why.

But we are not a high protocol household. That does make us any more or any less serious.



Chi -> RE: High Protocol (8/28/2008 7:28:39 AM)

Many perceive protocol or high protocol as a path to micro-management when it’s simply a structured and clearly defined sequential series of conducts behaviors attitudes and events taking place in a specified manner within a specific time frame. The social and interpersonal formalities of the Victorian era often set the pace or serve as framework for the relationships unfolding. I personally embrace the Victorian/Edwardian thinking and find micro-management not its part.



CallaFirestormBW -> RE: High Protocol (8/28/2008 1:12:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chi

Many perceive protocol or high protocol as a path to micro-management when it’s simply a structured and clearly defined sequential series of conducts behaviors attitudes and events taking place in a specified manner within a specific time frame. The social and interpersonal formalities of the Victorian era often set the pace or serve as framework for the relationships unfolding. I personally embrace the Victorian/Edwardian thinking and find micro-management not its part.


I have to agree with this. Many of our protocols are set in place to actually -minimize- the amount of micromanagement we have to do as Keepers. We set up, early in the relationship, a series of protocols where a servant can come in, greet, complete commonly repeated tasks, then know what to do next without having to have someone lead hir by the hand through the whole process. We've found that this allows us to do things like continuing a conversation when a servant comes on duty without a big hitch in our entertaining, or, for me, to be able to continue to work on a novel, short story, or manuscript while our house-servants handle the tasks necessary to assure the smooth running of the household.

For us, additional protocols like eye contact restrictions, speech restrictions, and orders of address also help our servants to be aware of their place in the household, fitting smoothly, so that all of us work like a well-oiled machine.

We have protocols in place, as well, for certain types of play -- in particular, protocols that determine how an area is set up or torn down for things like needle/piercing play, cutting play, or other high-maintenance types of play where the setup and cleanup are detailed and attention to those details are crucial. This means that I can say "We're doing a piercing at 8:00PM", and our servants know just what to do -- how to set up, what needs to be laid out, and what they'll need to do after the fact for cleanup.

In many ways, having clear protocols makes it possible for us to have -more- flexibility, and a greater recognition for the individual and hir needs and desires, since the minor details are already attended to through established protocols.

Calla Firestorm



Leatherist -> RE: High Protocol (8/28/2008 1:18:38 PM)

agreed.

Setting up some performance expectations are not that difficult.

I usually see ongoing micromanagement as a sign of distrust and insecurity.



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