My 1st bdsm session (Full Version)

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dasboot -> My 1st bdsm session (11/23/2005 9:31:24 PM)

Hello Mistresses,

i've been thinking about bdsm for like 3 years now and have wanted to do a real session but have been too nervous... i am embarrased cuz what if the Domme thinks im a freak for being into it... which makes me wonder, should i have my first session with a Pro Domme or with some kinda Lifestyle Domme?

Im nervous about the Pro Domme idea cuz its like... what if She's actually a vanilla girl and She's just doing it for money, so when i turn up She's thinking as She sees me, what a pervert... or, what a freak, or what a loser...

I'm quite an insecure guy and i could get put off it real easy if i think i made a total ass of myself that first time.

Im just all round embarrased to let anyone know im into it... i really want to do it... its like my ultimate fantasy... but doing it for real feels like its forbidden or something... i cant imagine myself actually doing some of the stuff i've thought about.

Maybe i'd best have a couple beers before i turn up else i'd be a nervous wreck.



Jasmyn -> RE: My 1st bdsm session (11/23/2005 9:41:22 PM)

I think visiting a self professed 'fem dom' for the first time, regardless of whether they be professional or lifestyle or both, is a hard ask of anyone. Keep in mind that the 'first visit' only happens once... take the step or wonder forever.

Lifestyle or professional, investigate people in your area, or someone from elsewhere. Look for a style of domination (ie ideas, techniques, preferences, etc) that compliments your desire to submit. A lot of professional doms are well versed in what it is we do and no, I tend to think the reverse when I am faced with a new client or personal sub...I understand how hard it can be to face up to a 'kink' and admire a great deal of people who have walked through My door asking Me to do just that to them.

Explain you are inexperienced and find a dom who understands your trepidation and will work with it.



dasboot -> RE: My 1st bdsm session (11/23/2005 9:50:47 PM)

trepidation runs deep in my blood! im scottish afterall!



Jasmyn -> RE: My 1st bdsm session (11/23/2005 9:55:48 PM)

Good... like I said... it gives something for a Mistress to work with ;)



dasboot -> RE: My 1st bdsm session (11/23/2005 10:07:46 PM)

i think i understand Ma'am, thankYou...

p.s put me down for nuisance tax



Jasmyn -> RE: My 1st bdsm session (11/23/2005 10:21:56 PM)

[:D] lol will do



MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: My 1st bdsm session (11/24/2005 4:00:20 AM)

I would say that no matter your choice to see a pro or establish a relationship with a lifestyle, one thing is for certain....

The longer you wait, the less likely you will be to EVER get involved in all of this.

Find your balls, turn off your computer, and go out to some local munches and such.



JohnWarren -> RE: My 1st bdsm session (11/24/2005 5:32:04 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn

I think visiting a self professed 'fem dom' for the first time, regardless of whether they be professional or lifestyle or both, is a hard ask of anyone. Keep in mind that the 'first visit' only happens once... take the step or wonder forever.

Lifestyle or professional, investigate people in your area, or someone from elsewhere. Look for a style of domination (ie ideas, techniques, preferences, etc) that compliments your desire to submit. A lot of professional doms are well versed in what it is we do and no, I tend to think the reverse when I am faced with a new client or personal sub...I understand how hard it can be to face up to a 'kink' and admire a great deal of people who have walked through My door asking Me to do just that to them.

Explain you are inexperienced and find a dom who understands your trepidation and will work with it.


One advantage for a virgin in getting involved with the local scene is that even if you decide to do a first scene with a pro (and it's not all that bad an idea) you can ask around about who is good. The prodommes who are really kinky usually are involved in the local scene often they supply meeting places and things like that so the nonprofessional get to know them and can pass on a name or two.

It's a lot better than looking at the advertisements in the phone book.



KCMOLucky -> RE: My 1st bdsm session (11/24/2005 7:47:24 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: dasboot


Maybe i'd best have a couple beers before i turn up else i'd be a nervous wreck.



For a couple of reasons I'd discourage you against this. First of all, alcohol thins your blood. If your fantasy involved any kind of bleeding at all, or, heaven forbid, something goes wrong and you recieve a deep wound, your blood will not coagulate, and there is a possibility of you bleeding to death.

Secondly, people do not feel/react as much after drinking. If you want your experience to be a memorable one, all of your senses should be alert and primed to go, not sluggish and unresponsive.

Good luck. [:)]



jamesthehumanrug -> RE: My 1st bdsm session (11/24/2005 8:35:36 PM)

greetings da s boots
happy thanks giving
i dont know ,if i feel
some one is really good ,to me ,intimacy-wise
,in s and m ,
what else....
i don't ask them:" do you love me"; i ask are you workin'?
(if it's vanilla ;they know ;i'm performin),
if it is a pro.; you'll, only wanna live ,in their closet, if you have, to...,to have the life ,or lifestyle, with them(love is love pro, or, not)
good luck in your search;we spend a thrid ,of our life, just waitng ;the other third ,in the toilet,
so 'bust a move'(i did ,that;and, the guy plagiarized me!.),
if your ,in the, other third, of your life, out ,of the toilet ,and, not waiting.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: My 1st bdsm session (11/25/2005 10:13:42 AM)

I have been the first scene for at least half a dozen people that I can recall........and they are all still happily playing today, so I know whereof I speak.

MsMarwood is correct---grow some balls, and get out from behind your computer.

Avoid alcohol before meetings. I will not play with ANYONE who has had alcohol in their system.

I am a very good pro dominant. I know some very bad pro dominants, and even they have their loyal followers. It's important that you feel comfortable with the person you are playing with. If the domme will not take the time to talk to you, get to know what your interests are, meet with you in a vanilla setting, then move on.

Ms F





orfunboi -> RE: My 1st bdsm session (11/25/2005 1:59:30 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: KCMOLucky


quote:

ORIGINAL: dasboot


Maybe i'd best have a couple beers before i turn up else i'd be a nervous wreck.



For a couple of reasons I'd discourage you against this. First of all, alcohol thins your blood. If your fantasy involved any kind of bleeding at all, or, heaven forbid, something goes wrong and you recieve a deep wound, your blood will not coagulate, and there is a possibility of you bleeding to death.

Secondly, people do not feel/react as much after drinking. If you want your experience to be a memorable one, all of your senses should be alert and primed to go, not sluggish and unresponsive.

Good luck. [:)]


Not to mention, there are a lot of Domme's that won't touch you, if you've been drinking, it would really suck if ya missed out on a fantastic session, because you couldn't play.



KCMOLucky -> RE: My 1st bdsm session (11/25/2005 4:33:48 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: orfunboi


quote:

ORIGINAL: KCMOLucky


quote:

ORIGINAL: dasboot


Maybe i'd best have a couple beers before i turn up else i'd be a nervous wreck.



For a couple of reasons I'd discourage you against this. First of all, alcohol thins your blood. If your fantasy involved any kind of bleeding at all, or, heaven forbid, something goes wrong and you recieve a deep wound, your blood will not coagulate, and there is a possibility of you bleeding to death.

Secondly, people do not feel/react as much after drinking. If you want your experience to be a memorable one, all of your senses should be alert and primed to go, not sluggish and unresponsive.

Good luck. [:)]


Not to mention, there are a lot of Domme's that won't touch you, if you've been drinking, it would really suck if ya missed out on a fantastic session, because you couldn't play.




I hate to say it, but I'm pretty sure that for every Domme who won't touch someone who's been drinking, there's a wanna-be-Do-Me who WILL. Sadly, there's are quite a few who don't fully understand the "Safe and Sane" part of "SSC".



FelinePersuasion -> RE: My 1st bdsm session (11/25/2005 6:03:06 PM)

Mopst places also won't let you in if you;ve been drinking let alone have a domme who'll play with you. It's stupid irresponcible and not a wise thing to do to induce in any drugs before playing. Liqor or other substances



veronicaofML -> RE: My 1st bdsm session (11/25/2005 6:34:41 PM)

Jasmyn;

tried to click Your site...nothing changes...just one front page standing there



mitsu -> RE: My 1st bdsm session (11/27/2005 3:47:23 PM)


quote:

Im nervous about the Pro Domme idea cuz its like... what if She's actually a vanilla girl and She's just doing it for money


I have been in and out of the "business" for 3 years, and I have not met one reputable pro domme who's a "vanilla girl." ;)



Carameldomme -> RE: My 1st bdsm session (11/27/2005 4:01:38 PM)

1- I'd attend a munch (or party) instead of booking a session. you might get lucky and meet someone who can tell you what types of things to expect in general and with particular people. Having a friend in the lifestyle is more important than having that big-ole first experience. Even if you find a great Domme, that first session could leave you confused, disappointed, addicted- who knows. Having someone to talk to about it will help you balance out and be realistic.

2-Also- if you're concerned about finding a 'vanilla' Domme- see someone who you've seen at a party or club. Watch her play, then introduce yourself and let her know what your seeking. Or have that friend you made in number 1 introduce you AT a club.

3- I'm one of the few who think there's nothing wrong with having a drink or two to loosen up before playing. There's a difference between having a buzz, and being drunk. If you know yourself well, and are sure that you can handle yourself just as appropriately and safely- having a couple beers won't harm you.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: My 1st bdsm session (11/27/2005 5:30:58 PM)

quote:

3- I'm one of the few who think there's nothing wrong with having a drink or two to loosen up before playing. There's a difference between having a buzz, and being drunk. If you know yourself well, and are sure that you can handle yourself just as appropriately and safely- having a couple beers won't harm you.


I respectfully disagree. Once a person has experience playing, having *A* beer or glass of wine before a scene is not a big deal. Actually, a friend of mine and I got her sub drunk before a scene once, just for the hell of it. Three very experienced people who knew the body language of the sub.

Alcohol dulls reaction time, and it dulls reactions. Things don't feel the same when you are drunk---and is the first few times you are playing a time to mess with that kind of experimentation? I say no. Save the beer for AFTER the scene, when you will need to hydrate.

Francine



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