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CallaFirestormBW -> RE: emotional turmoil (8/27/2008 11:13:01 AM)
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~fast reply~
I've been known to bury emotional turmoil. For me, the purpose of doing so is in order to be able to figure out what to -do- about it. I am not typically inclined to just tossing my emotions around willy-nilly. I think that part of that comes from being particularly sensitive to the emotional state of others around me, and being constantly exposed to others emotional 'washoff'. I am highly empathic, so I tend to prefer to hold my own emotions close, to avoid further 'emotional pollution' of the atmosphere around me.
Holding my emotions in check enables me to determine the cause of the emotional furor inside of me, and to determine whether it is something that I need to share (through rational, well-considered discussion), whether it is something I need to let go of, or whether it is something that I need to work on in myself. I find that most emotional turmoil is not necessarily productive, either for myself or for others around me -- that taking time to draw back from the immediacy of the emotional outburst keeps me from behaving in a way that I will later regret, or which will elicit a response from those around me that is not productive for our relationship.
As I've mentioned in a previous thread on anger, I am normally a chaotic and volatile person, so my emotions can be all over the place in the course of a day. What I feel inside, though, is rarely reflected outside, as I have trained myself, over time, to focus those volatile emotions and use them in a way that furthers my goals and minimizes the trauma to those who are in my immediate vicinity. (Imagine, if you will, on a strictly fantasy level, mixing the essence of Vampire with the essences of Dragon and Reptile *chuckles*).
Of course, if something blows up faster than I can contain it... I live up to my name.
Calla Firestorm
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