RE: Humilation - Outside of scenes

RE: Humilation - Outside of scenes (Full Version)

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RiotGirl -> RE: Humilation - Outside of scenes (11/25/2005 9:55:44 AM)
Thanks for the replies. Alot of you seem to know excatly where i was at and responded in kind. thanks much. And some of you just didnt seem to getit. It wasnt play, its not arousing

Sunshine119 -> RE: Humilation - Outside of scenes (11/25/2005 10:23:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshine333 my fear of being publicly humiliated is to run into someone i know. it's a sensible fear and one that i have no interest in overcoming. i don't feel the need to be "out" and, fortunately, the Master i'm with is likeminded. i think there is a line that is crossed when humiliation goes from arousing (on whatever level) to damaging ... whether done privately or publicly. of course that line is different for all of us. humbly, sunshine From one "sunshine" to another! I, too, would be mortified to be outed in public. If it were just humiliation that was the greatest punishment, I wouldn't be too worried. For both my Dom and I, to have others know of our lifestyle could possibly mean our jobs, our livelihood. And while I respect Iron Bear and applaud him for having won 5 discrimination lawsuits, I can't afford to be without work while I try to sort this all out in court.

sunshine333 -> RE: Humilation - Outside of scenes (11/25/2005 10:26:46 AM)
riot girl ... if you are refering to my post and my reference to "arousing" i will explain why i put in parenthesis "on whatever level." i think arousal takes many forms. the easiest to understand is when it is felt physically. another level is psychological. if, for example, my Master were to snap his fingers and point to the floor motioning me to kneel ... my heart and slave belly would most likely be aroused. meaning ... while this motion may not make me wet or even think about sex ... i would have just been put in my place, as a slave, at my Master's feet and so psychologicaly and emotionally arousing me. and this has nothing to do with "play." so even if an act like this is done in its worst form .. which for me is punishment .. it will still arouse my slave belly because just the fact that this Man can, with one gesture, bring me to my knees makes me feel undeniably a slave. i hope that clarifies. humbly, sunshine

sunshine333 -> RE: Humilation - Outside of scenes (11/25/2005 10:28:54 AM)
exactly sister sunshine. ... smiles ...

Sartoris32801 -> RE: Humilation - Outside of scenes (11/25/2005 11:01:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Synocense I find such actions disrespectful and inconsiderate to the people around you that he makes uncomfortable. Syn Agreed at least in the case of the "ice cream shop" Sartoris

LilWhiteWolf -> RE: Humilation - Outside of scenes (11/25/2005 11:55:49 AM)
i and i am speaking only for myself, cannot tolerate humiliation and i consider that has one of my "hard limits" but what some might consider an action humiliating, others might consider it loving. my ex Dom started out humiliating me but it turned into mental abuse. i believe there is a fine line there that if crossed, can hurt for a long time. Now if my Dom (if i had one lol) would point his finger to be at his side, now that i would find loving. To others, they might not enjoy that. its the mental berating that i couldn't tolerate but i have found that he was a mental abuser, a control freak. And that is where the difference lies.

MasterHyde -> RE: Humilation - Outside of scenes (11/25/2005 12:21:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BlueAngelSub I don't believe anyone should be force to watch such a display if they are not in the lifestyle. It's rude and you don't shit where you live. It's seem to me this is all about degrees. There are some things I wouldn't force any to watch... but a submissive woman kneeling alongside her dominant patrner? C'mon! Remember, this was in a bar. It wasn't a PTA meeting or a church social. It also wasn't Chuck E. Cheese's, where children would present. There is definitely a line that shouldn't be crossed. But I doubt if ten people could all agree on where to draw it.

Focus50 -> RE: Humilation - Outside of scenes (11/25/2005 4:23:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RiotGirl Reading the Gor threads, ran across the "humilation" one. i realised i see ALOT of talk about humiliation within a scene. With agreed upon terms, everyone knowing excatly whats going on, where the line is and so forth. What i dont hear about, is in the moment on the spot humilation out side of scenes. No lines, no talk. No scene, no play, no "ooooo that makes me soooo horny" stuff. Example (forgive me as its one of the few i have) : A certian girl appeared at a bar, that i had some maaaaaajor issues with. Master knew excatly what i would do if i had my chance with her. When she appeared, he had me kneel, next to him, right there, where we were standing in the bar. Nother example : going out for ice cream, got abit playful with Master (too playful) and at the ice cream place, he snapped his fingers and pointed down. (means kneel) Personally, i was embarressed in both cases. There are MANY many things that Master can and does do (that i am not mentioning as they are embarressing) spur of the moment like, because he chooses too, and just where ever we are. He uses humilation as a teaching tool, yet i have not heard anyone else speak about it. So i am curious to others experiences and such with it. I was squeezed for time when I originally replied but to add more to the OP, specifically this: >> "Personally, i was embarressed in both cases." << Humiliation is a powerful dynamic in anyone's language and it can easily get out of hand. For me, I sometimes use it as a means of reminding my girl of her station within our relationship dynamic. It's got nothing to do with anyone else! She is subordinate to me but she is not inferior to anyone. Indeed, that she's the one I choose to own, she's actually superior to all outsiders! However, she has no right to be embarrassed when with me and it's here that I will use what she construes as humiliation to teach her this - and it's always done in private. But I would never risk damaging her own spirit, sense of worth or esteem by "jumping her through hoops" in front of others just because I can. It's just MY PERSONAL OPINION, but I regard him doing that to you in front of others, specifically someone he knows you have history and issues with, as an act of betrayal of you to boost his own sorry ego! That's how kids handle power.... Focus.

RiotGirl -> RE: Humilation - Outside of scenes (11/27/2005 6:41:23 PM)
quote: But I would never risk damaging her own spirit, sense of worth or esteem by "jumping her through hoops" in front of others just because I can. It's just MY PERSONAL OPINION, but I regard him doing that to you in front of others, specifically someone he knows you have history and issues with, as an act of betrayal of you to boost his own sorry ego! That's how kids handle power.... Focus. Hehehehehe.. i'm feeling evil tonight. Dun ask why. You should find out WHY i had issues with her in the first place! It was a bad scene all around. But in a way i do thank him for having me kneel, as i know its the ONLY place i cant worm my way out of. There is NO possible way of getting up (and boy did i try them). So it did stop me from jumping on my impulses and dragging the girl off some where to beat the living tar out of her. In the end it did help me and at the time i was so boosted with adrenaline and anger that i wasnt completely embarressed. Master actually does OTHER things that embarress me, that are completely not D/s related. Like tell a vanilla friend of ours, (that wants in my pants) that i like notice if one is going to cum. Or tell a girl that isnt really a friend of mine, but an acquaintence, that i've hung out with and previously worked with about a letter i wrote to him stating some of the "naughtier" things i'd like to try. Though he didnt tell her, he just instigated he would, i about died there on the spot. he does alot of "vanilla" humilation as he is one of the few people who actually know how to make me blush. One of his favorites is to go to the bathroom, and then make ummm "going" noises. Which of course if i'm allowed i always flee the room and if i'm not i usually turn the brightest red you can imagine. So i know this is old, and i'm bringint it back up, dont mean too. LOL But i thought i should respond to that. that in fact, he actually did do me a favor that night. (because i wasnt thinking with my head)

Focus50 -> RE: Humilation - Outside of scenes (11/28/2005 1:48:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RiotGirl Hehehehehe.. i'm feeling evil tonight. Dun ask why. You should find out WHY i had issues with her in the first place! It was a bad scene all around. But in a way i do thank him for having me kneel, as i know its the ONLY place i cant worm my way out of. There is NO possible way of getting up (and boy did i try them). So it did stop me from jumping on my impulses and dragging the girl off some where to beat the living tar out of her. In the end it did help me and at the time i was so boosted with adrenaline and anger that i wasnt completely embarressed. Master actually does OTHER things that embarress me, that are completely not D/s related. Like tell a vanilla friend of ours, (that wants in my pants) that i like notice if one is going to cum. Or tell a girl that isnt really a friend of mine, but an acquaintence, that i've hung out with and previously worked with about a letter i wrote to him stating some of the "naughtier" things i'd like to try. Though he didnt tell her, he just instigated he would, i about died there on the spot. he does alot of "vanilla" humilation as he is one of the few people who actually know how to make me blush. One of his favorites is to go to the bathroom, and then make ummm "going" noises. Which of course if i'm allowed i always flee the room and if i'm not i usually turn the brightest red you can imagine. So i know this is old, and i'm bringint it back up, dont mean too. LOL But i thought i should respond to that. that in fact, he actually did do me a favor that night. (because i wasnt thinking with my head) Then perhaps you weren't quite as embarrassed as you intimated in the OP, ay girl? lol But I'd still see it a little differently if I were your owner.... Certainly he did the right thing in controlling any possible embarrassing reaction from you but controlling doesn't require public humiliation. I'm just not into public humiliation but I'm definitely into controlling my girl - public or private! Be well and take care, Focus.

RiotGirl -> RE: Humilation - Outside of scenes (11/28/2005 4:49:52 AM)
He does other things like that, which are embarressing. i just didnt feel the need to get into them. Other's i could imagine you'd think MUCH worse about, but well i was in a good mood. So since i'm in a bad mood i'll tell ya = ) (like how that works) i think one of THE MOST embarressing things he's done, was when we were in the same bar, surrounded by vanilla people, some friends, others i've no clue who they are and just snapped and pointed to the ground. JUST to show them i would kneel. He'll say "watch" It can become a spectacle, completely humilating and he goes on about how "i do as i'm told" and yadda yadda yadda.. the guys think its fascinating. i personally, find it degrading and disrespectful of me and D/s. He used to do it often. Almost like, he was making a mockery. But God knows why he does it. Ego trip probably.

FelinePersuasion -> RE: Humilation - Outside of scenes (11/28/2005 9:55:21 AM)
I was out on a vanilla date and I was being cheeky and blocking the guys car door so he couldnt unlock the doors, he leans in and whispers blow jobs in my ear which made me blush so hard there was also a group of teenagers walking by. I was beat red and very embarrased but nobody could have ever guessed why I was so red:P I rather like some of the edgier stuff that makes butterflies in your belly makes you beat red and wobbly, As long as it's not infringing on other people

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