CallaFirestormBW
Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008 Status: offline
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I've never made it a point to hide who I am and what I do, but surprisingly enough, after over 20 years of involvement with this and other alternative lifestyles, and 10 years of active participation in BDSM, M/s, and FemDom (not all at the same time.... I spent a couple of years as a top, then a blood-bodymod bottom, then 4 years in a TPE collar 'earning' my crop, then 2 years as a 'probationary' domina in our household, and 2 years as a full dominant member of the household). In all of that time, with all of those experiences, the only thing that anyone knew about me that was outside the 'mainstream' was that I was tattooed and pierced, and that I was in a poly, and later a same-gender familial relationship. People wouldn't even have known about the poly and same-gen if I hadn't brought my beloveds to work and family events as my 'mates'. This is despite the fact that I am a pastoral care provider in the community -outside- of my corporate working-world job, and 'on call' virtually any hour of the day or night. These days, I work in a corporate world, in a position of responsibility. People that I work with know about my Darling, but I would -never- try to hide her, or my feelings for her... other than that, nobody outside of those with whom I've actively -chosen- to share my practices with has ever discovered my 'secrets'. I don't rub what I am in people's faces, and my relationships are all consensual, which means that unless someone consents to participating, I don't share what I'm doing with them. There is no reason to -have- to come out... with one exception. If you are married or in a committed relationship, and your dominant or submissive partner is not the person you're participating with, you -do-, I think, have a responsibility to share your plan to explore with that committed partner (or those committed partners if you are poly). If someone asked me, straight up, I would answer honestly, but I don't tend to 'overshare', and I'm completely out of the 'office gossip pool', I don't do activities or get emails or such through my work accounts about what I do outside of work, so I haven't really had to deal with a whole lot of people that I didn't want to know getting the 411 on my experiences. Just my nickel's worth. Calla Firestorm
< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 8/28/2008 6:06:17 PM >
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*** Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!" "Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer
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