Soon to be Student wants to keep the lifestyle, Help!

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Soon to be Student wants to keep the lifestyle, Help!

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Soon to be Student wants to keep the lifestyle, Help!

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Soon to be Student wants to keep the lifestyle, Help! - 8/28/2008 6:10:42 AM

InariTheFamiliar

Posts: 6
Joined: 6/30/2008
Status: offline

...well that should be pretty clear by the subject.

In two weeks I start to go to and work at my new school, it is going to cut into my time and life in a drastic manner, though I really and truly wish to keep my life as a pet... But my time would be very limited and I really don't know if I could be a 'Good' familiar for two whole and long years...

Any suggestions? Any comments? A hug or pat on the head? I could use any of them.
Thanks in advance. I know this is kinda an open odd question, but, yeah, I'm drawing that much of a blank on how to stay a good puppy...

Cause I wanna serve! I just... I'm jaded from the past experiences of this site, and I just want to find someone who I can serve but who is also realistic and realizes what I can offer and what I can't. But I don't care what 'they' want, I want to give it to them as much and often as I can, if I can.

Two long years I can't wait to start... but... blah, I'm even just scared about that, let alone this.

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Soon to be Student wants to keep the lifestyle, Help! - 8/28/2008 6:24:48 AM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

Something people often forget .. is that kink is *part* of ones whole life ... it can be woven into all parts of life or it can be something you do at the weekend. Right now you are investing in college, work kink around college, not college around kink.

I went to University a full 150 miles from my then Dom, my time was filled up with being a busy hardworking/playing student, we decided that was my priority and organised my time accordingly. Last three years I have been in work, and that has been a high priority and my time with my Owner was run around my commitments to work.

Learn now, that life has to continue no matter what wonmderful fantasy you have the freedom to indulge in your free time.

Good luck Inari .. just chill out and go with the flow ... it will all work out in the end.l

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to InariTheFamiliar)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Soon to be Student wants to keep the lifestyle, Help! - 8/28/2008 6:27:04 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

quote:

Any suggestions? Any comments? A hug or pat on the head? I could use any of them.

Find someone who is willing to understand and accept that your time is limited. Many people are in a similar situation as you are with limits on their time, including myself. I would assume as a student you will have weekends free except for some studying, homework etc. Some of us dont even get the luxury of that. I work seven days a week, 365 days a year and have not had a full day off in well over twelve months. Its my choice though and i love my job and have learnt to balance my private life pretty well with it. It may take some adjustments but you'll get there.

*pat on the head*
*hug*

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to InariTheFamiliar)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Soon to be Student wants to keep the lifestyle, Help! - 8/28/2008 6:32:08 AM

InariTheFamiliar

Posts: 6
Joined: 6/30/2008
Status: offline

Chill... yeah, I like that. I like the cold, the cool slowness...
Thanks. ^^

(in reply to softness)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Soon to be Student wants to keep the lifestyle, Help! - 8/28/2008 6:33:22 AM

InariTheFamiliar

Posts: 6
Joined: 6/30/2008
Status: offline

Ah, and thank you as well. ^.^ You make me envy you, actually, but I'll be damned if I won't be in similar shoes as you soon enough. I wish you well and hope you find a free day coming sooner than later in your life.

(in reply to missturbation)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Soon to be Student wants to keep the lifestyle, Help! - 8/28/2008 6:35:32 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

If you are currently in a relationship the best person to discuss changes with is that other person.

Figure out what your class schedule will be and how much time you need to study. As an educator who has helped students with this very issue I'm going to offer you some advice on time management. Ignore if you wish but I taught it for several years and it works very well for those willing to put the plan into action.

First, make a weekly schedule. You have only 168 hours a week -- you cannot change, you can only change what you do with those hours.

Schedule your in-class and at-work time because those are generally not flexible.

Then schedule time to sleep and take care of yourself. Do not cheat yourself here -- most adults need 7-9 hours of sleep a day to function at full level.

Then determine how much study time you will need. My guideline is 3 outside hours for each in-class hour. Think that is too much? So what, if you schedule it you'll have it for big products and test prep; if you don't schedule it you are screwed. Consider a week when you get things done in less time a reward.

Stop.

Before you write those study times into your schedule consult with your top/dom. What times will she/he be available in their own schedule. Try to find about 30 minutes to an hour each day you touch base with each other; then a couple of hours a week to hang out/play -- this is all assuming you do not live together. If you live together, still try to set aside specific time to just be together each day and do plan your play time more.

Then give yourself a hour a day to just relax and take care of you.

Now go to your schedule and work all that out onto a chart so you can understand it easily. Make copies of it and for one week try it out, adjust as needed and revise. Then make new copies and try it out for a month, adjust as needed then try to stick to the plan for the rest of the semester.

Schedule time for bigger rewards after midterms and finals but never ever reward yourself when you do not stay on top of assignments. The biggest problem I see with students is thinking of the fun things first instead of thinking of the necessary things first.

I graduated summa cum laude following this time management plan, I took 18 credit hours a semester, worked a part-time job, had multiple boyfriends, lots of friends, went to events, participated in political and social activities, and never ever did homework on weekends because I manged my study so well.

The day to start an assignment is the day you get it. The day to tackle new ideas is as soon after that class as possible. If you are confused, ask immediately so you don't learn incorrect information.

Good luck! You can do this but it will require solid time management and a strong drive from both you and your top.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to InariTheFamiliar)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Soon to be Student wants to keep the lifestyle, Help! - 8/28/2008 6:45:25 AM

InariTheFamiliar

Posts: 6
Joined: 6/30/2008
Status: offline

THAT.... is helpful. o.o Thank you very very kindly! ^_^

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Soon to be Student wants to keep the lifestyle, Help! - 8/28/2008 6:53:48 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Learn meditation techniques! That would be my number one advice - and learn to breath.

Like softness stated, life has to and will continue regardless of the fantasy you have the potential of experimenting in! Think of it as improvement for yourself and for the person you will come to serve.

If you are already in service and/or submission, talk your concerns through with your owner.
Try and get out to meet people at local groups or as friendships via here or other sites. Don;t go looking and it will come to you when you are ready.

I think it rocks you posted so you get .dark. huggles from me as well as those suggestions above - and just by the photo and post alone, you seem adorable and someone will be blessed to have you as their familiar.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to InariTheFamiliar)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Soon to be Student wants to keep the lifestyle, Help! - 8/28/2008 7:01:59 AM

InariTheFamiliar

Posts: 6
Joined: 6/30/2008
Status: offline

I am awe struck by the kindness I've been shown here. Thank you Dark... and your compliments have made this fox blush. ^^;;

(in reply to RCdc)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Soon to be Student wants to keep the lifestyle, Help! - 8/28/2008 9:23:33 AM

Tetron

Posts: 48
Joined: 6/16/2006
Status: offline

I personally have always thought that a submissives school work or career was very important for them to develop. When ever I take on a submissive I make sure that they are putting all needed and then some effort into either their career schoolwork or both. I think most doms will at the very least understand your need for the school time, and if they believe in the advancement of their subs/pets/slaves etc they will want to make sure they continue their schooling at the very least. I ussually put more time requirements on schooling then the sub would even put on themselves, I also am not pleased if they get grades worse then I know they are capable of, so if you have a dom now and he is a good one this shouldnt end up being a problem for you, if you are looking there should be plenty with the same attitude as me out there.

(in reply to InariTheFamiliar)

Profile

Post #: 10