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Age difference - 8/28/2008 3:17:50 PM   
lessthanthree


Posts: 10
Joined: 8/22/2008
Status: offline 		Hi all.

I've been looking for about the same thing off-and-on for my entire sexual career. I've always wanted to start a relationship with an older submissive, maybe 10-20 years my senior. To me, the role-reversal is a huge turn-on. I like the idea of someone who society (perhaps rightly) gives authority over me turning around and giving that authority right back.

I've played around with a few older subs in the context of other fantasies/situations and I've loved it. But, I have a really hard time finding anyone else who shares this fantasy. Is it out there or am I just a strange person?

PS
Allot of the time I'm told I can't possibly experienced enough to dominate anyone that much older than me, or even to know what I'm doing in general. I know that this is a valid fear, but it also isn't true. If there is anyone out there who shares this fantasy, how do you deal with this concern?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Age difference - 8/28/2008 3:36:11 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		Hmmmm... long before I was interested in WIITWD, I was interested in older women.  For me, it was more about maturity level than any esoteric power exchange thing.  But still, it's the same problem.  And the answer is, you look around until you find someone who doesn't care how old you are.  What else is there really to do?  When we married, my wife was 8 years my senior (34/42) and long before we had words to describe it or could nurture it along, there has always been an obvious authority transfer between us.  In the end, unless they have huge guards up, compatible subs and doms recognize each other.

As an interesting aside, I've actually seen one such D/s relationship -- 44 and 24 years of age for the sub and dom respectively.  It didn't work out in that particular case for exactly the reasons you'd guess.  Specifically, he was too inexperienced to be able to lead her and not in control of himself enough to control her.  She recognized this fairly quickly and ended it.  But whether or not that result is "typical" means nothing for how any individual younger dom and older sub might be able to handle themselves.

(in reply to lessthanthree)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Age difference - 8/28/2008 3:37:42 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Think of it like domming your aunt.

Would she take you seriously?

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RE: Age difference - 8/28/2008 4:17:28 PM   
lessthanthree


Posts: 10
Joined: 8/22/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Think of it like domming your aunt.

Would she take you seriously?


I think at that point I wold have much larger problems than whether or not she took me seriously.

(in reply to Leatherist)
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RE: Age difference - 8/28/2008 4:26:24 PM   
Shadow-tiger


Posts: 1775
Joined: 6/8/2008
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Think of it like domming your aunt.

Would she take you seriously?

That really depends on how hot and how subby the aunt is.


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RE: Age difference - 8/28/2008 4:32:40 PM   
Gr33nT0p


Posts: 10
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline 		Although I do agree with Shadow-tiger's response it really depends.....  ohh wait maybe I shouldn't use that word incase she does wear them.  uhmm    anyway,  I have always found that either way ten years my senior or younger seem to work out much better as subbies, I am not sure why i have always been attracted to that mold but it simply has since I was 30.

as for the older women, I have always sensed they enjoy being taken as a sub than being treated as an soft woman.  Call it what you may but just my experience.

Happy mature hunting.

(in reply to Shadow-tiger)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Age difference - 8/28/2008 5:52:05 PM   
katie978


Posts: 352
Joined: 7/21/2007
Status: offline 		  Though I'm neither a dominant nor an older woman, I have heard from several older women that young men seeking them turns them off... You might not see it as domming your aunt or your mom's friends, but they definitely see it as subbing to a nephew or their son's friends.
  I'm sure there are women who are interested in this, but the young man/older woman seems to fall largely under the category of "things men like and women are meh about".


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RE: Age difference - 8/28/2008 6:34:10 PM   
Huntertn


Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		Agei s a factor alot of times..but again its what you bring to the table..and that cuts both ways..what till your over 50 and find yourself pushed to the side for younger doms..LOL

(in reply to katie978)
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RE: Age difference - 8/28/2008 7:06:27 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:


I've been looking for about the same thing off-and-on for my entire sexual career. I've always wanted to start a relationship with an older submissive, maybe 10-20 years my senior. To me, the role-reversal is a huge turn-on. I like the idea of someone who society (perhaps rightly) gives authority over me turning around and giving that authority right back.


See this right here bothers me. I have been approached by many younger men. I dont want to be someones fanasy ala,"I have always fantasized about an older woman." I want someone who wants to relate to me as a person, not an icon.


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Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Age difference - 8/28/2008 7:24:02 PM   
HisHeavan


Posts: 13
Joined: 5/17/2007
Status: offline 		i am not a dom, but am an older submissive female.   my Master is 16 years my junior, and age doesn't come into play at all in our dynamic.  Our family and friends find it a bit odd and they are entitled to their opinions, but that's as far as it goes.  Neither one of us found out how old the other one was until we had already established a relationship and by then it wasn't important.  We take each day as it comes.  His Dominance over me is very real, as is my submission to Him.  We have what works for us and are very happy with it.

HisHeavan

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(in reply to Huntertn)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Age difference - 8/28/2008 9:04:47 PM   
califsue


Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline 		It doesn't work for me as I don't see that we have enough in common for anything long term. If it was just a play partner then possibly but I have had younger men who wanted to pursue and for me it just didn't work. Now, I know someone who is a sub and she very much enjoys playing with men who are 30 or more years younger than here. She finds them to be creative, energetic and fun.

(in reply to HisHeavan)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Age difference - 8/28/2008 10:28:22 PM   
lessthanthree


Posts: 10
Joined: 8/22/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

See this right here bothers me. I have been approached by many younger men. I dont want to be someones fanasy ala,"I have always fantasized about an older woman." I want someone who wants to relate to me as a person, not an icon.



You have an excellent point. While I don't consider myself to be looking primarily for the "older woman" archetype, re-reading my post, that is certainly what it sounds like. I hope I don't come off that way in real life.

However, I posed the question because it is primarily a fantasy and I was curious as to whether or not anyone shared it. I'm not sure I would pursue a relationship of this type very far (barring extraordinary circumstances,) in my experience relationships based on fantasy end as nightmares.

Also, I never said I was thinking of older women specifically.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Age difference - 8/29/2008 12:17:01 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Stone the bloody crows! Any female old enough to be my aunt is on her last legs and probably has weeks to live. I prefer slaves closer to my wife's age who is 30 years younger then I.

IB
(The incorrigible, irrepressible and irreverent Bear)

(in reply to lessthanthree)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Age difference - 8/29/2008 12:43:21 AM   
heartcream


Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline 		Then again, is it possible that a male could have a thing for older women, the way some men have preferences for say, curvaceous brunettes? I get approached by younger guys quite a bit, not as much here on CM as in real life. It seems there is older-woman-frenzy out there. For me ten years either way is not a thing. When it goes beyond that it feels more awkward in some ways, but I can see this sort of dynamic working out, the younger male dominant and the older woman submissive. I believe it could have the potential be a healthy connection either in a long term relationship, or not.

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Age difference - 8/29/2008 12:54:27 AM   
EvilGenie


Posts: 1323
Joined: 9/10/2007
From: Morocco and Maine occasionally
Status: offline 		My relationship works incredibly well and that is due to the individuals involved. I have been with older and much older men and never chose anyone based on age.  I am 45, today actually , and mine/my husband (married 14 mos ago) is 32. He was raised in a much different culture than I and in many ways is light years ahead of me in sensibility. I rely a great deal upon that in him.

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Age difference - 8/29/2008 2:17:47 AM   
gina0055


Posts: 111
Joined: 11/17/2007
Status: offline 		Interesting topic. 
Master is 12 years younger than me.  For him it wasn't a 'fantasy' to have an older woman and being with a younger man wasn't on my radar but we just clicked once we started talking.  My issue has been that I've been self-sufficient most of my life, even when I was married.  It's a real paradox because my submissive/slave nature has been just under the surface for as long as I remember and Master is the one who has tapped into it.  I'm lucky because we have so many commonalities besides M/s.  Politics, music, sense of humor, etc.   He allows me my opinions and thoughts and feedback and I think he prefers a slave with a brain . 

It works for us, and had it been simply his fantasy for him to be with an older woman I don't think I'd be here.

< Message edited by gina0055 -- 8/29/2008 2:24:13 AM >

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This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.
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(in reply to lessthanthree)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Age difference - 8/29/2008 4:13:22 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Damm. Takes the luscious icon off of my computer. I will miss you.

(in reply to gina0055)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Age difference - 8/29/2008 7:42:49 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		First off happy birthday Evilgenie, second Im 22 so not an older woman, but i find that im not attracted people younger than me, even actually the same age as me is a bit of turn off, I dont look out people with specific ages ive just dont really look at people under the age of sort of 25 with any interest. I think that in terms of D/s often (but not always) younger Dominants express themselves in a way that would be a turn off to me personally I wouldnt be able to take them seriously (not true for all of course)

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Age difference - 8/29/2008 8:33:07 AM   
lessthanthree


Posts: 10
Joined: 8/22/2008
Status: offline 		I actually have that problem too, colouredin. I started out my interest in BDSM as a sub but, given my age at the time (let's just say far too young to be getting into this stuff) , I couldn't find anyone my own age capable of both taking the role of dominant seriously and making me take my role as a submissive seriously. I eventually wound up laying awake at night thinking about what I would do were the roles reversed...so then, after an unsuccessful search for someone more experienced to top me, I tried some of those things myself. Turns out being on top is more fun for me anyway.

I want to thank everyone for the advice and stories. Hopefully I don't come off as too much of a newbie.

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Age difference - 8/29/2008 9:53:01 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lessthanthree


quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Think of it like domming your aunt.

Would she take you seriously?


I think at that point I wold have much larger problems than whether or not she took me seriously.

 Thankyou, this made my day!!!!!!!

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to lessthanthree)
Profile   Post #: 20
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