its all about me?

its all about me? (Full Version)

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sistermargaret -> its all about me? (8/28/2008 7:21:19 PM)
Being new to the submission thing, i've found a paradox. i don't want to know any Secrets of the Masters, but in all the feelings and desires and wants and needs i have invested in being with Master, all are to serve Him. i mean it, really. On my knees and everything, lol. But then He whispers in that sultry sexy voice, "Remember slut, this is all about you'. i'm shocked. What does that mean???? sm

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: its all about me? (8/28/2008 7:27:00 PM)
It means that we're all in relationships to be fulfilled in who we are through the process of being with others. At that moment, it's all about you. At other moments, it's all about him. The experience of the relationship is all about you both together.

chamberqueen -> RE: its all about me? (8/28/2008 7:37:35 PM)
A true Master gets as much delight in a fulfilled sub/slave as in having that one wait upon Him. He will do things to please her even as she is in the process of pleasing Him. You can imagine how much work it is to keep this delightful balance. Sometimes the focus will be more on Him, but if He is doing His job well your wellbeing will always be considered.

slaveluci -> RE: its all about me? (8/28/2008 7:45:49 PM)
OP, I would beg to differ from chamberqueen in that I don't believe there is any acceptable definition of what a "true" master does or does not do. That's the age old debate around here. What is good and "true" for one is irrelevant to another. As far as if he "is doing his job well" or not, again that of course varies from relationship to relationship to relationship. Some relationships involve dominants who strive to fulfill their subs/slaves and some aren't quite that dynamic. Doesn't make one any more real or true or well done than another. Nope, nope, nope. As with everything, it's all about what works for you and yours in your own personal, intimate relationship. Don't ever believe there is one true way in this or anything................luci

sistermargaret -> RE: its all about me? (8/28/2008 8:06:58 PM)
Don't ever believe there is one true way in this or anything................luci i don't. i've seen it all, lol. And enjoyed a lot of it, too. There is no One way, to each their own. i like what the first responder had to say as well. That made a lot of sense to me. The relationship is indeed mutually satisfying. Sometimes the simplest of things are so elusive when one spends much time in mental sub space, lol. It's still got the blush of newness, so i'm caught up. Thanks for the clarification. sm

slaveluci -> RE: its all about me? (8/28/2008 8:25:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sistermargaret i like what the first responder had to say as well. That made a lot of sense to me. Yeah, that doggone LA. She's often the "first responder" and usually one of the most sensible, practical and right-on posters around. She always makes "a lot of sense."[:)]................luci

DomDolf -> RE: its all about me? (8/29/2008 12:36:16 AM)
I appreciate your putting this out there for others to comment on. And more importantly that those that will not comment for whatever reasons will have an opportunity to read, learn and understand more about themselves or others. But the real answer lies within him. If you want to know what your Master means you should ask him. Dolf

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: its all about me? (8/29/2008 4:09:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slaveluci quote: ORIGINAL: sistermargaret i like what the first responder had to say as well. That made a lot of sense to me. Yeah, that doggone LA. She's often the "first responder" and usually one of the most sensible, practical and right-on posters around. She always makes "a lot of sense."[:)]................luci Hey thanks! I do try to keep up. But you should check out "Off Topic!" Apparently I'm to be ignored!

sistermargaret -> RE: its all about me? (8/29/2008 4:57:28 PM)
You can imagine how much work it is to keep this delightful balance. Sometimes the focus will be more on Him, but if He is doing His job well your wellbeing will always be considered. i understand what you're saying about doing His job well ... as my Dominant, as my Master, according to how W/we've set our relationship and kink. i see it all now ... its nice :) Goodness knows i sure deserve it to be all about me. Surviving life thus far has provided the One who knows i've earned it, lol. Soooooooo, after reading these and other posts for the last few days, i professed to Master that i'm done being a Switch and will take the role of His submissive in training. He accepted my offerings :) <--------skips off to change profile :) Thanks everyone. i hope my posts show all of you how valuable you've been to me, and others. i really appreciate the viewpoints and heartfelt assistance/encouragement in all of the forums i visit. sm

Jeffff -> RE: its all about me? (8/29/2008 7:03:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slaveluci quote: ORIGINAL: sistermargaret i like what the first responder had to say as well. That made a lot of sense to me. Yeah, that doggone LA. She's often the "first responder" and usually one of the most sensible, practical and right-on posters around. She always makes "a lot of sense."[:)]................luci No , she is caustic, and undoubtedly a threat to the.." lifestyle"..;) Jeffwey

MistressDolly -> RE: its all about me? (8/29/2008 7:49:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sistermargaret Being new to the submission thing, i've found a paradox. i don't want to know any Secrets of the Masters, but in all the feelings and desires and wants and needs i have invested in being with Master, all are to serve Him. i mean it, really. On my knees and everything, lol. But then He whispers in that sultry sexy voice, "Remember slut, this is all about you'. i'm shocked. What does that mean???? sm *smiles. i.e., If you said: Lick my ass, male - he would. :-)

aravain -> RE: its all about me? (8/29/2008 8:21:44 PM)
It all comes down to the dominant. While I'm a submissive, I HAVE talked to many dominants and others about the idea of who any given act is for in a relationship (whether BDSM or even vanilla) It all comes down to the couple and the individuals within it. For me, for example, the most important thing is making sure that my top/dominant is pleased... sexually, emotionally, completely. I cannot even start to feel fulfilled until I know that he has been taken care of to the best of my abilities. Otherwise, I feel quite guilty, and then get depressed after any given encounter because I wasn't able to make him... well... I don't know the word for it beyond 'ultimately pleased' or something similar. It's not always about sex or sexual gratification... quite often it's just about hearing that "good boy" or slight moan, or even quick breath. Whereas others that I've met, submissives, even, are completely egocentric. There are even some subs who only get into the scene or a relationship because of the trip of having something be ALL about them. Whereas I get my jollies by having my pleasure (effectively) ignored, they can only get off when the dominant is focusing on either giving them or denying them pleasure. It's all a matter of the individual.

Focus50 -> RE: its all about me? (8/30/2008 4:48:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sistermargaret Being new to the submission thing, i've found a paradox. i don't want to know any Secrets of the Masters, but in all the feelings and desires and wants and needs i have invested in being with Master, all are to serve Him. i mean it, really. On my knees and everything, lol. But then He whispers in that sultry sexy voice, "Remember slut, this is all about you'. i'm shocked. What does that mean???? sm *In that context, it's rather a silly statement to me. When you're doing whatever pleases him, which inevitably pleases the average submissive, then it's all about both* of you. Enabling each other's needs is the essence of power exchange.... To me, those words did little more than spoil the moment - I sympathise with you. Focus.**

sistermargaret -> RE: its all about me? (8/30/2008 6:38:30 PM)
Well, moments get spoiled sometimes when there is a more important issue presented. The statement came because i was fussing about something, and i guess this was His reassurance that W/we are on the right track. But, there is little sympathy doled out these days, so thanks for your point of view. i agree, that if He'd made that statement during intense play, it might have spoiled the high, but even then i doubt it. In the context of reassurance and acceptance it is a powerful statement no matter when its spoken. Someone mentioned greedy subs who demand that it 'be all about me'. We've all run into them. My problem is the opposit. i try to please EVERYBODY and it damn near killed me, in various ways. i crashed & burned, now i must rebuild ... climb back on that horse, so to speak. So, perhaps by forcing me to focus on how this is all about me, i can stop doing for everyone and just do for U/us? Like giving up the Switch thing ... less obligations to Top/bottom old buddies. Less to fret and chew about, less white noise? Does that make sense? It certainly has made a difference in my life to have a Rock who is so willingly clung to. sm sm

tweedydaddy -> RE: its all about me? (9/24/2008 4:41:41 PM)
ask him

SailingBum -> RE: its all about me? (9/24/2008 6:39:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sistermargaret Being new to the submission thing, i've found a paradox. i don't want to know any Secrets of the Masters, but in all the feelings and desires and wants and needs i have invested in being with Master, all are to serve Him. i mean it, really. On my knees and everything, lol. But then He whispers in that sultry sexy voice, "Remember slut, this is all about you'. i'm shocked. What does that mean???? sm I remember meeting this girl at the right moment i dropped my drawers and she took one look and said to me ih her sexy voice..... who are you going to please with that lil thing. I smirked and said "Me" I have no clue what they meant by that remark. BadOne

DarkSteven -> RE: its all about me? (9/24/2008 8:02:58 PM)
My take is that it is about the submissive because I consider D/s to take place largely between a submissive's ears.

MarcEsadrian -> RE: its all about me? (9/24/2008 9:06:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sistermargaret Being new to the submission thing, i've found a paradox. i don't want to know any Secrets of the Masters, but in all the feelings and desires and wants and needs i have invested in being with Master, all are to serve Him. i mean it, really. On my knees and everything, lol. But then He whispers in that sultry sexy voice, "Remember slut, this is all about you'. i'm shocked. What does that mean???? sm I would hope such a comment was framed in sarcasm or jest. If not, how defeating it is to pour oneself into serving another, only to stand in the light of such a "correction". Talk about a rude awakening. Well, at least he said it in a hot, sultry and sexy voice. Have him mix in some soft European techno next time.

WhiplashSmile2 -> RE: its all about me? (9/25/2008 12:12:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sistermargaret Being new to the submission thing, i've found a paradox. i don't want to know any Secrets of the Masters, but in all the feelings and desires and wants and needs i have invested in being with Master, all are to serve Him. i mean it, really. On my knees and everything, lol. But then He whispers in that sultry sexy voice, "Remember slut, this is all about you'. i'm shocked. What does that mean???? sm Welcome to fucking reality!! In fact some submissives are so caught up in serving somebody, that it becomes all about them. To the point where they have a hard time watching Master do for themself. Like God forbid I might fetch myself a Pepsi out of the Fridge instead of putting in my drink order! LOL... hahahahaha... Hence it can become all about the submissive. Blah Blah Blah.... I'm just another totally clueless fake wanker wanna be Dom what the fuck do I know anyways!! LOL.. On your knees bitch and sit still, let me serve myself for a moment. It's all about you and I'm going to teach you a lesson and break you of this bad habit before you drive me insane. This is basic sub attitude adjustment training 101. Trust me, if your master says to you, it's all about you. They realize something about you, that you are refusing to see and understand it for what it really is. Hope this post adds a little insight despite it's smartass snarky nature.

DesFIP -> RE: its all about me? (9/25/2008 10:40:30 AM)
It's all about both of us. Because if we aren't both getting our needs and wants met, then it won't be a good relationship. We don't accept anything other than a win/win outcome.

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