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Wondering who els agrees with this - 8/29/2008 5:58:43 AM

Puppy4goodHome

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From: Beachwood Ohio and a few others
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I am just curious trying to figure this out
I Have had so many argue with me on this and so many agree would like to see others on this subject
we know the wise tail about How many More Dom's and Domme's there are than Submissive sand Slaves and Pet's
this brought up this subject in a email the other day
Because someone said this to me and thought they had power over me and could tell me what to do just because they gave them self the title Mistress
But where would the the Dom's and Domme's be without a Submissive slave or Pet to give our Power to
is it not true that with out the submissive and without the Pet and slaves where would the Domme and Dom's be without us

ross pup

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Pup on the loose better watch out

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Post #: 1

RE: Wondering who els agrees with this - 8/29/2008 6:04:30 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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Allow me to rephrase.

Is being a Dominant an intrinsic thing, or is it a part of a relationship? For example, the word "husband" is meaningless without a relationship to tie it to. But "man" is valid in or out of a relationship and is not defined by a relationship.

I consider being a Dom to be intrinsic and a part of me. But it's sure a hell of a lot less frustrating when I'm able to USE my Domliness within a relationship.

_____________________________

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RE: Wondering who els agrees with this - 8/29/2008 6:07:19 AM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
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where would they be without us? well, considering that many dominants that i know never seem to find what they were looking for in the bdsm realm of things, i'd say, based on current knowledge, they go out into the vanilla realm of things and 'convert' some sweet young thing to yield to their desires.

(in reply to Puppy4goodHome)

Post #: 3

RE: Wondering who els agrees with this - 8/29/2008 6:18:36 AM

Puppy4goodHome

Posts: 1448
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: Beachwood Ohio and a few others
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I do agree i have seen this Many times
I may have worded this wrong but i hope that others see what i mean when i posted this thread and can understand what i am asking

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

where would they be without us? well, considering that many dominants that i know never seem to find what they were looking for in the bdsm realm of things, i'd say, based on current knowledge, they go out into the vanilla realm of things and 'convert' some sweet young thing to yield to their desires.

_____________________________

Pup on the loose better watch out

ross.g
Puppster
puppy

(in reply to daddysliloneds)

Post #: 4

RE: Wondering who els agrees with this - 8/29/2008 8:30:23 AM

CallaFirestormBW

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Actually, I'd be right where I am right now -- enjoying the company of my Darling, keeping a household, running my life... Don't get me wrong, I think it is pretty much idiotic to demand submission from every person one sees on the street... but my dominant state of being doesn't depend on keeping a pet, having servants, or being able to play with a bottom (and, in fact, even survived having to spend time in service in both the seminary and in training to earn my crop). Having someone on the receiving side of my crop is a nice bonus, but my existence as a dominant-personality individual does -not- depend on it.

Calla Firestorm

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RE: Wondering who els agrees with this - 8/29/2008 8:42:57 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
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As a submissive from the other side of the coin without a D/s relationship im unfullfillede, its all well and good saying nah its how i am naturally so it would be no differant, thats crap if there were no Doms in the world i would just have a series of shit relationships

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RE: Wondering who els agrees with this - 8/29/2008 9:07:00 AM

Missokyst

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More often than not they marry some non kinkster, buy a home, stuff, and then resent their life for stiffling who they really are. Then they seek out a partner on the side, with or without consent from their spouse.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds
they go out into the vanilla realm of things and 'convert' some sweet young thing

(in reply to daddysliloneds)

Post #: 7

RE: Wondering who els agrees with this - 8/29/2008 9:08:26 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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I am the same person with or without the submissives under me. I am no more or less Dominant, I am no more or less commanding in my relationship. The only change is with my sadistic side, and even that depends on which submissive I am with at the time.
Those who believe they can command ANY submissive simply because they call themselves Dominant are a bad gauge to go by. They have no realistic expectations from their submissives, they are looking to control a title, with a person attached. Most of us prefer a real person who falls into a role, not a title that talks.

DV

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RE: Wondering who els agrees with this - 8/29/2008 9:10:38 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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I would be the same place I have been the last 46 years of my life. Living it. Some wonderful moments and some that haven't been.

I don't NEED a submissive or slave to make my life worth living.

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Puppy4goodHome)

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RE: Wondering who els agrees with this - 8/29/2008 9:13:24 AM

ODadEO

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

...they go out into the vanilla realm of things and 'convert' some sweet young thing to yield to their desires.

Ohhh, that sounds fun ;)

(in reply to daddysliloneds)

Post #: 10

RE: Wondering who els agrees with this - 8/29/2008 9:14:15 AM

Dnomyar

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Missokyst you brought up an interesting thought. Without a kink partner you would seek someone outside the marriage. That could explain many divorces in vanilla life.

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Post #: 11

RE: Wondering who els agrees with this - 8/29/2008 9:18:05 AM

AAkasha

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Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

where would they be without us? well, considering that many dominants that i know never seem to find what they were looking for in the bdsm realm of things, i'd say, based on current knowledge, they go out into the vanilla realm of things and 'convert' some sweet young thing to yield to their desires.

Exactly. There's a much bigger pool of prospects in the vanilla world. Most men, unless they are so conservative that I'd never date them anyway, have no problem with a sexually ravenous, self assured vixen who loves sex toys, likes to tie them up and thrives on experimentation. The challenges come with regards to how far they can take it, and how often they can do it, and what the impact is on their self esteem. Fortunately, all of those things can be easily addressed when two people are nuts about each other. Love has a way of making people find a way to get their sexual needs met as long as both are willing to compromise and communicate.

The only kinky "fetish" I am absolutely unwilling to give up is bondage. So the only vanilla guy I'd never end up with is a total claustrophobe. Whips and chains, strap ons, pain, hardcore humiliation...I can compromise somewhat in those areas. But I have to have a lot of bondage in my life. All the other stuff is gravy, but for the right man, I'd dial it back. Luckily I found the right man and there's no dialing back of anything.

Akasha

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(in reply to daddysliloneds)

Post #: 12

RE: Wondering who els agrees with this - 8/29/2008 11:49:33 AM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

A relationship takes more than one person. If one is a top and one is a bottom and they enjoy each other's company that is terrific. Ideally both will get fulfillment from the relationship. Neither partner is inherently better than the other.

There are many more male subs than Dommes - the ratio is about 10:1. I have no power over anyone, other than the power of gentle persuasion, unless they allow me to have it. I have never, ever insisted that someone obey me without trust being built up. The only exception to this is in an emergency situation when they could harm either themselves or another because of not paying good enough attention.

It sounds to me like you have had your feelings hurt by ones who make assumptions in their favor and don't work at building a good relationship with you. There are many out there like that. You need to just let them pass by and keep looking for one who can bring you fulfillment as you do the same for them. When it clicks, it is great. Don't cheat yourself by settling.

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RE: Wondering who els agrees with this - 8/29/2008 1:26:13 PM

Missokyst

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At least divorce is an honest choice. I meet more men who want bdsm on the side so they don't rock their "secure marriage and a lifetime of stuff" they don't want to lose.
I would never seek outside my marriage. I was honest enough with myself to know I better be sure of who I wanted and be willing to grow with it no matter what, should I ever take that step again. It's been over 25 yrs and I have kept that promise.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Missokyst you brought up an interesting thought. Without a kink partner you would seek someone outside the marriage. That could explain many divorces in vanilla life.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 14

RE: Wondering who els agrees with this - 8/29/2008 3:00:42 PM

Puppy4goodHome

Posts: 1448
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: Beachwood Ohio and a few others
Status: offline

ok lets take this for a turn also i thout and thout again about the way i wanted to word this orginal topic here
becosue also this same One i talked to erlier thout that becouse i was submissive that submissives don't get the chance ot be happy we just deserve to be used and not have our needs met
but also without the submissive slave or pet being happy how can they make the Dom Domme or Owner happy without being happy they will not be able to make the other happy
some say why do a submissive get to be happy its not there thing they dont get to be happy or be pleased its the Dom that gets to be happy and pleased but without the submissive being in a happy spot than the dom wont be happy becouse the submissive if we are not happy we can leave and where would that leave the dom ?

_____________________________

Pup on the loose better watch out

ross.g
Puppster
puppy

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 15

RE: Wondering who els agrees with this - 8/29/2008 4:06:41 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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It's "old wive's tale"

How fulfilling is a relationship when there's only one person in it? All relationships take all people to be actively and desiring to engage productively in order for them to work well. Ds is not different.

It's not about happiness, it's about fulfillment- MUTUALLY.

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Post #: 16

RE: Wondering who els agrees with this - 8/29/2008 4:09:25 PM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

I think you are asking something like.. how can there be the yin without the yang?

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Post #: 17

RE: Wondering who els agrees with this - 8/29/2008 4:20:40 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

You don't need to own a pet, submissive, or slave to be a dominant

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

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Post #: 18

RE: Wondering who els agrees with this - 8/29/2008 4:51:02 PM

PsyVamp

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You have mail on the other side

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Post #: 19

RE: Wondering who els agrees with this - 8/29/2008 6:03:06 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Puppy4goodHome

I am just curious trying to figure this out
I Have had so many argue with me on this and so many agree would like to see others on this subject
we know the wise tail about How many More Dom's and Domme's there are than Submissive sand Slaves and Pet's
this brought up this subject in a email the other day
Because someone said this to me and thought they had power over me and could tell me what to do just because they gave them self the title Mistress
But where would the the Dom's and Domme's be without a Submissive slave or Pet to give our Power to
is it not true that with out the submissive and without the Pet and slaves where would the Domme and Dom's be without us

ross pup

This is the essential paradox of bdsm. Authority is held by the submissive until consensually transfered to the dominant.
Vivre la paradoxe.

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Post #: 20

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