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Dark but not Miserable - 8/29/2008 7:59:03 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		I've been participating, to some extent, in the discussions about SM being too PC, and earlier discussions about the uses of words like "Dark", "Twisted", "Perverse" -- as a word-fiend and shadow-philosopher, I would like to hear what people think on the idea that WIITWD can be "Dark" without being filled with misery, anger, hatred, evil, etc.

I believe that what I do is dark -- like midnight-blue velvet, or a submarine ride into the depths of a hidden trench, where there are unseen possibilities, and where intensity flashes across the surface like stars in a night sky, or lightning at midnight.

I believe that what I do is "deviant" -- like the road that twists through small towns and villages, or winds through the mountains and deserts, instead of cutting a straight and narrow, sterile swath through my world.

I believe that what I do is 'shadowed' -- like a whisper against an ear, or a breeze laden with night-blooming jasmine.

I am a creature of the moment right before dawn. it is my favorite time of the day. -- the last sip of blood before sleep... the promise in the moment right before it is fulfilled. I have never seen darkness, shadows, deviance, or death as 'bad' things. Dark does not speak to me of misery. Nor do I share the idea that all that is brightly lit and loud is 'good' and 'safe'.

I am curious about what you will say.

Calla Firestorm


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RE: Dark but not Miserable - 8/29/2008 8:01:37 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		I have always accepted my place as a thinking animal-rather than something crafted as a religious stereotype.

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RE: Dark but not Miserable - 8/29/2008 8:22:38 AM   
Surrenderwithin


Posts: 368
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline 		Calla,
That was so beautiful.... I agree with you more than I can say.
Maggi

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RE: Dark but not Miserable - 8/29/2008 9:02:51 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		That is one of the reasons I did not respond to the darkness thread.  I could not relate.  I like dark!  I like that the things I do are not exactly the norm.  I like not being a fluffy marshmallow of sweetness and light.. even though most people think I am.  I'll keep my shadows, thank you.  They are relief on a hot day.  They are shelter in a withering sun.  They are hidden treasures along a path that few have walked.
Why would I think that is bad?
Thank you Calla
Kyst

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RE: Dark but not Miserable - 8/29/2008 9:08:39 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		its the cliche i dont like the "i walk in the shadows" it gets a bit pretentious for me, of course what we do is deviant by its very definition but for me that doesnt make it 'dark' as i said on the other thred im not a very dark type of person really im far too giggly and i love pink (lost childhood im sure) For me my submission is a part of me, a part that entrenches on a lot of who I am and none of me is dark nor relates to it, Im not an innocent girl never have been to be honest but i feel that language and imagry doesnt apply to me. I think probably a fair amount ascribe to a more dark sense of self in this lifestyle and often times it seems to me as a way to make it seem more dramatic or whatever, being submissive to me isnt any differant to being a woman or being 5"2 its not some amazing thing that makes me differant from everyone else its just my thing :) (i hope none of that came off as rude)

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RE: Dark but not Miserable - 8/29/2008 9:12:44 AM   
burntcynder


Posts: 34
Joined: 5/11/2008
Status: offline 		i'm not afraid of the dark ....for all those reasons
 
Thank You, for the beautiful post
 
 
 
 
cyn

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RE: Dark but not Miserable - 8/29/2008 9:23:56 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I don't like to get all ewy gooey romantic over this stuff. So I like to be in control more than most people will admit or some want. So I like to do things that some people think are sick and wrong, or just too afraid to do themself.

Perhaps it makes me more complex than some. But then again, maybe not. I don't ask everyone I know about their private moments. Quite frankly I don't want to know.

To me, all of the dark, evil sexy metaphors sound cool and romantic in an evil sexy way, but yeah.......... a bit over the top for me.

Spiritual people would be spiritual with or without BDSM, just like those that are ignorant fools would be so with or without. I also do not subscribe to the idea that a relationship is more spiritual or more deeply connected just because of BDSM or M/s. It is because the people within the relationship have made it so.

If BDSM, D/s, M/s made relationships so much more wonderful then there would be more longterm commited relationships and less of the "my dom done me wrong" type stories.


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RE: Dark but not Miserable - 8/29/2008 9:55:36 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		All I know is... I am starting to get paranoid.
 
the.dark.

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RE: Dark but not Miserable - 8/29/2008 12:49:52 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		LMAO!  I almost fell off my chair laughing
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

All I know is... I am starting to get paranoid.
 
the.dark.

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RE: Dark but not Miserable - 8/29/2008 1:21:48 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I sort of have the same reaction only in reverse when I hear people say SM isn't part of my dynamic, ours is more of an old fashioned lifestyle... AS IF what I do (and others like me), is somehow tainted. 
Light and fluffy loving vs dark, nasty, physical.
People will always put their spin on words to make sense of the world.
I cringe when I hear 50's style.. some people cringe when they hear twisted.
I don't say dark to seem more dramatic, people see dark and impose their own drama to the word.
For me, it is just me, nothing dramatic about it.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin
and often times it seems to me as a way to make it seem more dramatic or whatever, being submissive to me isnt any differant to being a woman or being 5"2 its not some amazing thing that makes me differant from everyone else its just my thing :) )

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RE: Dark but not Miserable - 8/29/2008 4:03:09 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Sounds good to me- I agree that dark does not necessarily equate to bad or unPC :)  I'm not against people describing what they do as deviant or anything, but I'm sure we've all seen people who take deviant = cool and turn it into deviant = cooler than non-deviant.  And that's the real problem.

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RE: Dark but not Miserable - 8/29/2008 4:25:22 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

All I know is... I am starting to get paranoid.
 
the.dark.

 
 
 
Yes - it is all about you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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RE: Dark but not Miserable - 8/29/2008 4:55:41 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I agree with that.  However there seem to be an equal number on the flip side of my stuff is good, and your stuff is vile.
The real problem as I see it, is that people can't stop themselves from putting their own spin on it.
LOL and I don't think that will ever happen.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
I'm sure we've all seen people who take deviant = cool and turn it into deviant = cooler than non-deviant.  And that's the real problem.

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RE: Dark but not Miserable - 8/29/2008 4:55:43 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		To me, D/s is nothing more than the flavor of a relationship.

Healthy relationships and unhealthy ones come in all flavors, incluing D/s.

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RE: Dark but not Miserable - 8/29/2008 5:44:14 PM   
Daddyssweetpea


Posts: 89
Joined: 8/23/2008
Status: offline 		How absolutely gorgeously expressed, CallaFirestorm!

The beauty for me is that it is through darkness that I am led to pure light, through the tension of discipline, I experience utter serenity.

There is darkness when I close my eyes and the universe is only the two of us, in perfect synchronicity, giving each other exactly what we need. 

There is darkness when I am like a child drifting off to sleep in my bed, perfectly secure in knowing I am cherished. 

Maybe what Daddy and I have together would be perceived as dark and twisted by some who wouldn't find what we do pleasurable, or who think our games are indicative of mental instability.  The truth is, I think what we do together is nothing but healthy, because we are so completely honest with one another.  Our love is illuminated by truth.   I know that sounds pretty lofty, but when I think of how many vanilla folk I know who are frustrated with their mates, but cannot talk about it, I have to wonder who really is in the dark.


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RE: Dark but not Miserable - 8/29/2008 5:58:22 PM   
TimeInEveryDay


Posts: 22
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline 		First off Calla, We (we are typing together at the moment) appreciate your prose and sense of language.  When We think of dark, what springs to Our mind is where does the concept of "dark" really originate?  Being atheists, We are critical of many preconceptions/misconceptions that arise as a result of the overwhelming influence religion has had on the shaping of our culture.  There may be no better example than the concepts of "light" and "dark": polar opposites in which one is inherently "good" and the other "bad".  Taking this into account, it is difficult to justify what we enjoy as being of the realm of darkness.  We think what we do is good and healthy!  Therefore, it must be "light"(?), even though we thrive in the darkness.


Eh?    


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RE: Dark but not Miserable - 8/29/2008 6:08:49 PM   
WhiplashSmile2


Posts: 526
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline 		Much of what I do, I consider to be more intimate or deep.  Even the S&M stuff.  To do things without all the fears and hangups and with somebody else who is into doing these things.

In terms of colors, emotions, moods and tones.  I enjoy variety in my life.  BDSM is many things to me.

There are some Dark sides and moments in BDSM for me, however the Bigger picture of BDSM well really is not so Dark.

Yes, I'm into S&M, however that's not the sole and only center of my BDSM universe.   I'm into D/s but that's not the be all end of it either.


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RE: Dark but not Miserable - 8/29/2008 6:21:44 PM   
CruelDesires


Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		I have embraced the darkness that comes from within. I have also come to terms with it and do not let it get out of control.

C-D

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RE: Dark but not Miserable - 8/29/2008 6:31:32 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW


I am a creature of the moment right before dawn. it is my favorite time of the day. -- the last sip of blood before sleep... the promise in the moment right before it is fulfilled.


Ming I....for Calla
As a light which has sunk into the earth:
Thus does the superior live within the masses.
A veiled light….. light that shines still shines…..
Darkening of the light during flight with lowered wings
Somewhere always to go even on her wanderings.
Darkening of her light yet all will expect her
Fervor remain within the household
Even
as she leaves the gated courtyard
Promising to return by midnight.
Not in light but by darkest blood and whispers
She will create a way to heaven
Inviting all with her
Before plunging to the depths of rest.
Sunrise inverted on a deviant path:
Thus lies the receptive Earth
Above a clinging flame.

Prin x


(adaptation of Wing I from the I Ching)   

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 8/29/2008 6:34:06 PM >

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RE: Dark but not Miserable - 8/29/2008 7:38:25 PM   
OneMoreWaste


Posts: 910
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst
I like not being a fluffy marshmallow of sweetness and light..


Aww, but... fluffy marshmallow!!

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
I'm not against people describing what they do as deviant or anything, but I'm sure we've all seen people who take deviant = cool and turn it into deviant = cooler than non-deviant.  And that's the real problem.


Why is it a problem? I thought self-esteem was supposed to be a good thing.

**

I think shadows are a great metaphor for an activity where people are "playing" with the line between pleasure and pain- as the ambient light level decreases, colors merge, so that only their relative brightness distinguishes, and dissimilar colors can become appear as a single shade. While the term "dark" comes with cultural baggage, I don't think that it necessarily implies anger or hatred, only danger, which to me is a fair cop.

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