Help...what do I do now?

Help...what do I do now? (Full Version)

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Domnslv4Pleasure -> Help...what do I do now? (8/29/2008 9:58:32 AM)
Hello, I have been with Master for 9 wonderful months. He is my first Master. Everything was going smoothly until 3 weeks ago. He decided that we were going to join another couple as a family. That Master would also be my Master and the slave would be my sister. My Master let me in on this after everything was arranged. The problem is, my contract clearly states no sharing, giving me away, selling me, or trading me with other men. He didn't ask me if I would like to try this or if I would give up that part of the contract. I kept an open mind and spoke with this other Master. He was quite handsome and built well...but less than desirable as a human being. I let Him know that I was in no way interested. I tried to break it to my Master in an easier way, letting Him know that I do sometimes have fantasies about 2 Masters at once, and I might like to try it sometime--but not on a regular basis. The problem? Master has barely spoken to me and not touched me since this incident. I have tried to wait Him out. Tried to pamper Him in all the ways I know He likes best. He accepts my tributes, but remains steadfast in His standoffish stance. Last night I broke one of His rules and went back to an old habit of burning myself. I just couldn't take the pressure anymore and needed a release. I just used wax so I wouldn't scar. I used the entire candle. He saw but did not punish me or say anything. I'm feeling frustrated and very sad right now. I'm not good with words verbally and tend to stay quietly to myself. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

LaTigresse -> RE: Help, I'm not sure what do now.... (8/29/2008 10:01:48 AM)
Well lets see. He's broken the agreements you made when you got together and now he has withdrawn his dominance. Ball's in your court. Either you give in to his poor choices and do what he wants while taking responsibility for making that choice. (aka no whining about it later) OR, you move on to find someone that is more honourable and compatible. I'd choose plan B, but then again I am not submissive and believe in honouring agreements, discussing proposed changes and not pouting like a child.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Help, I'm not sure what do now.... (8/29/2008 10:03:52 AM)
What LeeAnn said. Adding, if he just watched while you went ahead with your burning, that's an absolute sign of not caring.

Bstardsbitch -> RE: Help, I'm not sure what do now.... (8/29/2008 10:05:41 AM)
Sounds like a spoilt child who can't get his own way , who is trying to make you feel guilty for not doing whatever he wants. Hand him his dummy back and run

Leatherist -> RE: Help...what do I do now? (8/29/2008 10:09:04 AM)
Forsworn, and no making of amends to correct it-you already know the answer.

mistoferin -> RE: Help, I'm not sure what do now.... (8/29/2008 10:09:06 AM)
I'm with LaTigresse. If that's not a big enough breach of trust I don't know what would be. As an aside....did you burn yourself with the candle expecting that he would see and punish you for it? Kind of a "any kind of attention is still attention...even if it's negative attention" thing? If so,.that's manipulative head games. If not and you just "needed" to self harm...I'd suggest therapy.

Governess -> RE: Help, I'm not sure what do now.... (8/29/2008 10:09:07 AM)
I fully agree with LaTigresse! I Myself Own 2 slaves and would never subject them to My sitting around pouting like that while they serve Me so well! It is a dominant's responcibility to have honor and respect for the agreements that are made...My goodness...a contract in writting and he has a problem with honoring it?? Where is the dominance now?Why did he feel the need to have another slave AND another dominant in the picture?? Odd..... hugs Best of luck My dear! Governess

velvetears -> RE: Help, I'm not sure what do now.... (8/29/2008 10:11:18 AM)
You need to get yourself some professional help if you are into burning and/or cutting to release emotional pain. As for the relationship, if you allow him to coherse you into living this relationship with this other couple you will have allowed him to completely disregard your needs in a relationship which were clearly outlined in a contract you had before you got involved. In essence he is saying that contract is a worthless piece of paper. Don't expect him to honor anything else it contains, in fact throw it out as it will be worthless. It appears you both have different needs and he kept his well hidden from you till he figured he had you emotionally hooked. Not very ethical. If it were me i would say adios and enjoy your newfound family - let the other slave do double duty. This would be a real deal breaker for me.

faerytattoodgirl -> RE: Help...what do I do now? (8/29/2008 11:12:37 AM)
breach of contract = leave. no point in staying...trust is gone.

sirridgewayuk -> RE: Help...what do I do now? (8/29/2008 12:07:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl breach of contract = leave. no point in staying...trust is gone. Agreed 101%

chamberqueen -> RE: Help...what do I do now? (8/29/2008 12:23:45 PM)
If I understand correctly from your post, you skirted the issue and were not completely honest with your Master. The answer that you gave him seems to me to be misleading. I think that you should try to communicate with him again. Let him know that you have concerns about this other Master as a human being; tell him the things that you are uncomfortable with. If you are happy with your Master other than with this, let him know that but also let him know that the reason that you have in your contract that you don't want to be given away is because you feel strongly about that. He may not know enough about self inflicted pain to see that it is a way of warding off pain from others (which we cannot control) and giving pain to ourselves - the ultimate in power. He may have walked away because he saw it as purposeful misbehavior instead of a release for you. No matter how good a Master he is, he will never be able to read your mind. If you want the relationship with Him to continue you need to be honest or else he can't do his job well. That hurts both of you. I am not trying to be hard on you. I understand your feelings completely. I also know that it is up to you to make a decision now - either to do SOMETHING or to do NOTHING. Neither way will be easy on you, but at least if you do SOMETHING you will know that you have been true to yourself. That's about the best gift anyone can ever give to themselves.

SteelofUtah -> RE: Help...what do I do now? (8/29/2008 12:45:00 PM)
A Few Things...... 1) Burning Yourself is not okay, get help, beyond the damage you are doing to yourself you are puitting the lives of everyone in the same house as you in danger. Many of the kids I councelled for drug abuse were cutters or burners and the burners usually always ended up setting a fire that they could not control and set something unintended aflame, True many of them were very controlled most admitted it was a fluke accident that caused the out of control fire 2) If you have a Master who Violates a Contract that HE wrote up the how seriously does he take his own contract? For that matter what would the repercussions have been if YOU had violated the contract? I mean if you went and did something you Contratually agreed NOT to do what would he have done? 3) Why aren't you and your Master talking? Something like this goes beyond the whole "Me Master, you slave" Bullshit this is emotionally and now PHYSICALLY damaging to you. Don't wait till he gets the sand out of his asshole just sit his ass down and say you NEED to discuss this and make a plan to make it all better. What do you do now? Take a Moment to Take Care of YOU because he isn't doing that right now. Steel

Missokyst -> RE: Help...what do I do now? (8/29/2008 12:59:50 PM)
fast reply to OP Ok.. setting aside the fact that I think your master is a petulant child who is punishing you because you made him look bad in front of his new friend. I will ask, what made him a good master to you in the first place? It seems to me like both of you are good at deception. Him because he chose to alter the rules without letting you know. And you, because you cushioned your response to his demand so he wouldn't be hurt. Say what you mean and maybe he will. Otherwise what is the point? Kyst

soul2share -> RE: Help...what do I do now? (8/29/2008 1:17:28 PM)
All good advice given.....to me, it boils down to the simplest denominator.....You both agreed on the contract, he waits until he thinks he has you totally under control, then violates said contract. In my mind, (only), that is a serious breach of trust. Do not let your emotions rule this situation! Use your head, decide what YOU want to put up with, and make the decision. I have to agree with the thought of his blatant disregard of the contract being nothing but trouble in the future. I walked from one who tried to use an accepted hard limit as punishment, explaining some BS about they have no place when it comes to punishing me....and will continue to walk from anyone who believes this. If I was in your place, he'd be history....period...no questions asked.....to me, trust is the one place in this lifestyle that I refuse to compromise on. Make the decision YOU can live with, and follow through. As far as his pouting, he's trying to manipulate you into his way of thinking....DON'T let him do it. I understand the reasoning and thinking behind your need to burn yourself.....only you can deal with getting that problem straightened out, but it's an indicator as to how much this has upset you, and his lack of understanding this shows a great character flaw...again, just my opinion here, for what it's worth. The next time you try to explain it to him, be blunt, be honest, and if it hurts his feelings, well, TOUGH! Spell it out in plain English that you want NO PART of this situation. If he still fails to honor your contract, and you decide to stay...well, it's your bed, you made it and you'll have to lie in it. Good luck, hun...it's a tough choice, but follow your guts......and you know you can always count on us for support, k?

genevieve66 -> RE: Help...what do I do now? (8/29/2008 2:08:56 PM)
Exactly. Done. Time to move on.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Help...what do I do now? (8/29/2008 4:11:30 PM)
Attempt A: Brute Force, shove it on her and hope her sense of wanting to be a good girl will guilt her enough into it Attempt B: Shame and ignoring, hope her fear of losing me and neediness for my attention will guilt her enough into it Show me the part where he's acting like a mature responsible adult ready to be in a complex relationship?

HizBabyGirl -> RE: Help...what do I do now? (8/29/2008 4:25:20 PM)
He has made a decision. He decided the agreement/contract you had is no longer important to him. He is sending you a very clearcut message that you will either give up your hard limits (at least some) or you will be discarded. Do you want a master like that?

HizBabyGirl -> RE: Help...what do I do now? (8/29/2008 4:28:50 PM)
SORRY, I DIDN'T NOTICE THIS WAS OLD somehow?

windchymes -> RE: Help...what do I do now? (8/29/2008 4:34:55 PM)
Well, one of you has to honor the contract. Looks like it's not going to be him. Basically, you're in a shitty situation, and what you do now is put on the big girl panties and start deciding what you're going to do without him. Burning yourself for attention? That's just as manipulative as his passive-aggressive crap. If you really need "release", take up running. You'll still get pain in the leg muscles and probably a good stitch in the side, but you'll also get endorphins, which will benefit you much more than a bunch of shallow attention from someone who doesn't give a damn about what you want or need.

HeavansKeeper -> RE: Help...what do I do now? (8/29/2008 4:41:05 PM)
Guys do foolish things. We don't mean to hurt you when we schedule poker night when your parents are coming into town, or when we flirt with the waitress because we're drunk. We do these things because we forget (or repress) our commitments to you... Usually in favor of something more pleasing to us. Please forgive us for this trespass, it was not an attempt to hurt you. As such, the relationship is not 100% spoiled. Yes, we failed you, yes, we broke your trust. That said, you don't have to leave him, but you do need to prepare yourself mentally and physically to leave. He basically has one last chance for you to stand up and say, not as a slave, "You should have talked to me about this first. Would you like to write up a new contract?" (something to that effect, an ultimatum). He may no longer care about what you feel, and if thats the case, you should leave. He may have been blinded by how cool this guy is and how big his slave's tits are, in which case the situation can be fixed.

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