RE: Mentors, What are they, and how do they help?

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RE: Mentors, What are they, and how do they help? - 11/27/2005 9:15:05 AM

Elegant

Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
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Mentoring is often a buzzword in business, industry, schools, faith based entities and leather communities but do we all mean the same thing when we talk about "mentoring"? The terms, "mentor" and "mentoring" are used rather loosely to describe a wide range of roles and activities, and so the words have come to mean different things to different people. I actually find it humorous that this language debate pertaining to the concept of mentoring is frequent worldwide in more than just leather communities. Is there a Master Webster out there who cares to revise the entire dictionary for the leather community?

Dictionaries can only help us understand what mentoring means. Look up the word, "mentor", and you will most likely find that each dictionary has a slightly different definition. Generally the definitions contain two common elements:
~Trust: The mentor is a trusted individual
~Experience: The mentor is more experienced than the mentee and freely shares that experience with the mentee.

Now look at your thesaurus, and you will find that a mentor can also be thought of as a:
~Friend
~Advisor
~Coach
~Guide
~Teacher
~Role model

The origin of the word ‘Mentor’ can also be useful in defining mentoring. Greek Mythology holds the history of the word ‘Mentor’. Odysseus, the hero of Homer's Iliad, left home to fight in the Trojan War. Odysseus had a son, Telemachus. While Odysseus was off at war, the goddess of domestic arts, Athena, disguised herself as an old man, and became Telemachus' guardian and teacher. Her name was "Mentor".

The modern use of the term mentoring more likely comes from the work of 18th century French writer Fenelon who was also an educator. In addition, African scholars have noted that mentors were commonplace in Africa, long before the ancient Greek civilization.

Leaving the wordsmithing aside there is truly no hard and fast definition for mentoring that is supported by all. Generally it means pairing a learner with someone more senior and more experienced to offer support, encouragement and guidance. The key to mentoring is developing a one-to-one relationship with a goal of strengthening personal development. A mentor should be someone you can confide in, and ask for help in resolving a situation or making a decision. While mentoring should not be confused with coaching, counseling or training, it can contain an element of all these. A mentor is someone who acts as a role model, compatriat, challenger, guide or cheerleader.

Mentoring, no matter in what segment of society is it being practiced, is the balancing heart, mind and spirit.

SOME FAMOUS MENTORING RELATIONSHIPS
Phil Jackson mentor to Michael Jordan
Malcolm X mentor to Muhammad Ali
Dale Earnhardt, Sr. mentor to Michael Waltrip
Sitting Bull (Lakota Chief) mentor to Gall (Hunkpapa Chief)
Charles Houston and Lillie Carroll Jackson mentors to Thurgood Marshall
Tina Turner mentor to Mick Jagger
Madonna mentor to Gwyneth Paltrow
Maya Angelou mentor to Oprah Winfrey

My knowledge of mentoring relationships comes from being an Executive Director of an affiliate of an international youth mentoring organization

_____________________________

Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

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RE: Mentors, What are they, and how do they help? - 11/27/2005 9:34:10 AM

jamesthehumanrug

Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
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dear sir butch
greetings
mentor the way you ,put it sounds like a manners school ,for models
where you can certainly always learn something and you must be very charming,in your presentations,on first impression; always having the attitude ,that you must keep up ,on being a top, or bottom; what ever the case,maybe....not unlike any doctor who keeps up ,with current knowledge and practices; going to all the seminars possible,and ,not ,just relying,on what they are,or staying rather stagnent,in their field.
slave shool, or a top" mentor "sounds good ;no matter how you look it ;makes you
re-examine your status,and standing , in any case
has ,to blow the competition ,out ,of the water,
but i still assume you ,care,
and,that you ,both must be very;very
charming; showing your inclusive mentors' knowledge ,and, protocol,in all your individual presentations,whenever possible,or, at least you show a working desire,to seek ,out mentors,to improove what's already known....

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 11/27/2005 9:37:20 AM >

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Post #: 42

RE: Mentors, What are they, and how do they help? - 11/27/2005 1:24:13 PM

EvilGeoff

Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant

......a mentor can also be thought of as a:
~Friend
~Advisor
~Coach
~Guide
~Teacher
~Role model

.... A mentor is someone who acts as a role model, compatriat, challenger, guide or cheerleader.

I started T3WD with the intent of finding a "mentor"... I've had many teachers, many role models, a couple of coaches, several friends... but no one that I've had that emotional, mental and spiritual "click" that took the relationship to the level of mentoring. I'm still looking!

And I covered more on the topic in the discussion about "earning my leathers" in another thread. And won't repeat myself here. *grin*

YIK,
- Geoff

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RE: Mentors, What are they, and how do they help? - 11/27/2005 1:40:01 PM

Elegant

Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant

......a mentor can also be thought of as a:
~Friend
~Advisor
~Coach
~Guide
~Teacher
~Role model

.... A mentor is someone who acts as a role model, compatriat, challenger, guide or cheerleader.

I started T3WD with the intent of finding a "mentor"... I've had many teachers, many role models, a couple of coaches, several friends... but no one that I've had that emotional, mental and spiritual "click" that took the relationship to the level of mentoring. I'm still looking!

And I covered more on the topic in the discussion about "earning my leathers" in another thread. And won't repeat myself here. *grin*

YIK,
- Geoff

ahh...to put my original words back in place where I wrote them:

While mentoring should not be confused with coaching, counseling or training, it can contain an element of all these. A mentor is someone who acts as a role model, compatriat, challenger, guide or cheerleader.

All the best in your search.

_____________________________

Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

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Post #: 44

RE: Mentors, What are they, and how do they help? - 11/28/2005 12:39:07 PM

lovingsubmissio

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/28/2005
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My experience was meeting a male Dominant, considerably older than me, who became my friend, then my Dom, and ultimately, someone I now think of as my Mentor. He earned my respect and my affection over time, demonstrating an ability to understand and listen, as well as teach, when I wanted to learn. He never forced himself or bdsm on me, but rather, developed my hunger for both.

I also wince at the term "mentor" because I have seen it used as a ploy to attract inexperienced subs. One does not advertise oneself as a mentor, one earns the status of mentor after demonstrating the ability to mentor someone.

Just my two cents from South Florida.

Sarah

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RE: Mentors, What are they, and how do they help? - 11/28/2005 7:28:59 PM

DarkSpark

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Joined: 10/26/2005
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I thin knot a great poem, but one that for me supports what you say.

Legs placed apart
Naked flesh shimmers
Thoughts freely tumble
She smiles
Hands upon hips
Defiant, tempered

Inside a soul weeps
Heart leaps
Strong will stills

If any wishes to possess
Know thy self first

Dark Spark

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RE: Mentors, What are they, and how do they help? - 11/29/2005 3:21:43 AM

fldrkhorse

Posts: 158
Joined: 11/5/2005
From: North Carolina
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I have my thoughts on submissives/slaves based on my experiences and with others on paper, if you'd like to read.

Master K

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RE: Mentors, What are they, and how do they help? - 11/29/2005 3:39:53 AM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
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my mentors,lol, love that term...well they are my friends....
since my first joining on of this site...we did not pick each other,it just happened.i am extremely lucky b/c i get a twofer w/ mine

...
i can ask a Master, or i can ask a slave.both will always be honest w/ me,whether it is something i want to hear or not.
they have helped me w/ my desires to learn,
they have put band-aids on my skinned knees....
i dont know if they are mentors or not,never really thought about it,they just are who they are and i am blessed b/c of it.

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"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

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Post #: 48