RE: Being Bratty (Full Version)

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aravain -> RE: Being Bratty (9/1/2008 4:08:31 AM)

It seems we're getting into an argument of semantics, not to mention opinion on whose job is what...



catize -> RE: Being Bratty (9/1/2008 4:32:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: aravain

It seems we're getting into an argument of semantics, not to mention opinion on whose job is what...

 
I don’t agree that it is a matter of semantics.  I do believe that it is a matter of differences in types of relationships
Before I submit to a dominant I establish to my satisfaction that he is what he claims.  Once I have agreed, then it would seem counter productive to withdraw my submission by acting ‘bratty’ simply to make him prove himself again….and again.




lusciouslips19 -> RE: Being Bratty (9/1/2008 5:00:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

ORIGINAL: aravain

It seems we're getting into an argument of semantics, not to mention opinion on whose job is what...

 
I don’t agree that it is a matter of semantics.  I do believe that it is a matter of differences in types of relationships
Before I submit to a dominant I establish to my satisfaction that he is what he claims.  Once I have agreed, then it would seem counter productive to withdraw my submission by acting ‘bratty’ simply to make him prove himself again….and again.




When I meet a Dominant, I see if we are compatible. I am not looking for someone who makes me feel bad about myself for being playful. I don't seek to be with someone that is unhappy with me and thinks I am a brat. I am the first to admit I can be high maintenance. I am not a doormat. I am strong, outspoken and a daddy's girl princess. there is no point in finding someone who doesn't want this. he likes tending to me and protecting me. I don't act bratty to make him prove himself to me. I am just being my playful self and am with someone who enjoys this dynamic. It brings out the best in him. Its not counter productive. We are both very happy.

edited to add: You would be suprised how many enjoy this dynamic. Many who never considered themselves a Daddy Dom. Many Doms, tend to the dynamic according to the submissive. I asked my Master if he was always such a Daddy Dom? He said he had no idea till I brought it out in him. SO although many may claim to not like that dynamic, if they are intrigued and enthralled with a submissive, they alter their dynamic according to what interplay the energy dictates.



SoulPiercer -> RE: Being Bratty (9/1/2008 5:04:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LittleWench

There's an interesting dynamic I see occurring here!

How do you know if a Dom/me is actually capable of being dominant without having that reinforced?  Sure you meet, you are compatible, he tells you to do something, you do it.  That's compatability, not dominance and submission.  You're told to do something, and you do it, because you want to, because it's mutually beneficial to do so.  There is a difference between someone who can tell you what to do, and someone who can enforce that directive should you reject it. I can't respect a man who lets me walk all over them, or lets me push them around, but just because he can tell me to fetch him coffee doesn't make him capable of being dominant.

So unless you have broken a rule, disobeyed or otherwise incurred the displeasure of your Dominant, how do you know they can be dominant? ;)



How do know your employer is capable is firing you? Simple, you test him or her by constantly taking a 2 hour lunch when you know you only get an hour.

Makes sense doesn't it?

In one post you say you do this for attention, then you deny that by saying "it's my personality", now you suggest you do it to test your partner.

If it is your personality, do you refuse to get up off of the floor make your supervisor drag you around the office on your blankie because you weally, weally need nappy time? [:D]

Do you routinely test others you come into contact with or is that pleasure reserved for your special fella? Do you test your bank by bouncing checks, just make sure they hit you with that $35 overdraft fee? Do you cut your brake lines to see if the guy at Midas figures it out? Do you flash boobage at the cop who pulled you over, to see if he'll cuff you and haul you to jail? [;)]

I'm just sayin'.



catize -> RE: Being Bratty (9/1/2008 5:08:37 AM)

 
AS I said, it is a matter of different types of relationships.  However, my initial post and the follow up was in response to the thought indicating one must be bratty to make sure the dominant is capable of dominance. (see post #40)
Having fun and teasing is not the same as bratty.



lusciouslips19 -> RE: Being Bratty (9/1/2008 5:14:47 AM)

I guess the bottom line is to find someone who is delighted by you and the dynamic you share. if the OP want to test and push boundaries and challenge someone then she needs someone who delights in this dynamic.

Isnt it a beautiful thing when we can find someone who fits with us?



catize -> RE: Being Bratty (9/1/2008 5:17:55 AM)

~laughs~  Or if I am in court should I refer to the judge as "you cute hunk of jurisprudence' to see if I really will be held in contempt of court?



lusciouslips19 -> RE: Being Bratty (9/1/2008 5:24:53 AM)

When I flash my boobage at a cop, sadly he just lets me off. He doesn't handcuff me and haul me to jail. [:(]



catize -> RE: Being Bratty (9/1/2008 5:37:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

When I flash my boobage at a cop, sadly he just lets me off. He doesn't handcuff me and haul me to jail. [:(]


Sighs----I'd probably just get a bigger fine for impersonating someone with enough boobage to flash [:-]



littlekitten1 -> RE: Being Bratty (9/1/2008 5:56:38 AM)

My my... This is why I don't like communicating with the rest of the lifestylers.. Most would just try and make me feel bad for who I'm :-/

I guess I could be considered... Playful. It's fun teasing and running away from time to time. Makes us both smile. Yes it is my personality to be slightly defiant and playful. So what is it that makes it so horrible? That it has to be looked down upon by everyone else? If someone chooses to let their free spirit out, then let them and don't judge... Being free and being oneself is the greatest thing one can do, and letting someone be themselves can only benefit the relationship.

Where the fun in having to ask for every single session? Every single lash with the whip... Why does a submissive have to -ask- being tied up? It takes away the element of surprise and fun. In the end, that would make me very depressed and a very dull person. I don't mind anyone else doing it though, I'm sure it's the right dynamic for other people.
Just for me, it would make life monotonic and depressing. Who says that just because someone's a slave/sub, they can't enjoy life and have fun and... Actually have their needs fulfilled. I'm sure that no submissive or slave in this world does this selflessly just for the Dom. They get some kind of reward out of it... Even the most obedient slave on earth does it out of her/his own enjoyment... Otherwise it would have to be some sort of.. unconsenting relationship which would be the ultimate test of submission [sm=rolleyes.gif](didn't mean that seriously btw).

Anyway you can find this kind of dynamic as wasteful as you want, just don't look down on others because of it. It gives you no right to, and you're not better than others just cos you follow every command without even the slightest resistense. it just makes you, you.



lusciouslips19 -> RE: Being Bratty (9/1/2008 6:09:40 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlekitten1

My my... This is why I don't like communicating with the rest of the lifestylers.. Most would just try and make me feel bad for who I'm :-/

I guess I could be considered... Playful. It's fun teasing and running away from time to time. Makes us both smile. Yes it is my personality to be slightly defiant and playful. So what is it that makes it so horrible? That it has to be looked down upon by everyone else? If someone chooses to let their free spirit out, then let them and don't judge... Being free and being oneself is the greatest thing one can do, and letting someone be themselves can only benefit the relationship.

Where the fun in having to ask for every single session? Every single lash with the whip... Why does a submissive have to -ask- being tied up? It takes away the element of surprise and fun. In the end, that would make me very depressed and a very dull person. I don't mind anyone else doing it though, I'm sure it's the right dynamic for other people.
Just for me, it would make life monotonic and depressing. Who says that just because someone's a slave/sub, they can't enjoy life and have fun and... Actually have their needs fulfilled. I'm sure that no submissive or slave in this world does this selflessly just for the Dom. They get some kind of reward out of it... Even the most obedient slave on earth does it out of her/his own enjoyment... Otherwise it would have to be some sort of.. unconsenting relationship which would be the ultimate test of submission [sm=rolleyes.gif](didn't mean that seriously btw).

Anyway you can find this kind of dynamic as wasteful as you want, just don't look down on others because of it. It gives you no right to, and you're not better than others just cos you follow every command without even the slightest resistense. it just makes you, you.



I'm sorry you read it this way. People here are not trying to judge others dynamics. We are all grown with opinions and we are respectful. So lighten up on the good people here and welcome to the boards.

I'm sure you have many impish, playful things to share with us and I will share my silliness with you. This in turn will delight our Daddies and keep them on their toes the way they like.[:D]



kittengirl8 -> RE: Being Bratty (9/1/2008 6:20:42 AM)

I think littlekitten has a point. No specific names were given, but I definitely agree that judging has been occurring throughout this thread. Though, the be honest, it's hard to find a thread where someone doesn't condemn someone elses' way of life. It's something we all just get used to.

To the point of this thread, I sometimes get the term 'brat' tossed at me, but usually it's just me being a 'silly girl' [;)]. I tend to get very focus and driven on school, and so I get wound up and I release my energy and try to cool off me seriousness with the people who understand me. Therefore, I can get really silly sometimes. As long as it works for the dynamic, and there's an actual reason.. go for it. :) Both of you have fun!



catize -> RE: Being Bratty (9/1/2008 6:36:37 AM)

quote:

  but I definitely agree that judging has been occurring throughout this thread.  


To judge is simply to form an opinion; there have been positive judgements in this thread, but somehow I don't think those were the ones you refer to here.  Funny, isn't it, that a positive judgement is okay but a negative one is not.



Icarys -> RE: Being Bratty (9/1/2008 6:53:33 AM)

I doubt you will ever be alone when it comes to bad behavior. I guess it would depend on what level of submission a Master wants in a female..some settle for less...while others want the whole female. Being bratty reminds me of a child who hasn't learned how to act yet and in this case may never learn what true respect is.

side note: dawntreader is correct..it is passive aggressive. I personally don't understand why a Master would like having to wrestle control from his female on a daily basis..i guess some do though. It's definitely not me. I prefer a nice peaceful existence.



DesFIP -> RE: Being Bratty (9/1/2008 6:56:26 AM)

Negative opinions are fine about a topic. But ad hominem attacks are not. Saying that someone who enjoys this dynamic must be new to the l/s and will grow out of it is an ad hominem attack, not a negative view toward the topic.



Roselaure -> RE: Being Bratty (9/1/2008 7:03:40 AM)

There have been so many threads on this topic and they all seem to ultimately go the same way.  The way we define "bratty" and whether one views it as primarily a positive or negative trait is part of the problem.  What my Dominant might consider bratty and unacceptable someone else might consider fun and playful.  No one way is better than another.  I don't see why all the attitude.  Be happy.




Icarys -> RE: Being Bratty (9/1/2008 7:18:45 AM)

I think maybe where maybe most see it as bad is: A female gives her submission to a Male then daily has to take it back when it was suppose to be given freely. The female by doing this attempts to control the situation by acting out. If i do A then i get B so the Dominant isn't really in control is He? It's cat and mouse, most equate that to playing games i would suppose. I have no doubt that there are many different forms of this lifestyle, not all will be for every other person. I would think though you might be able see it through another set of eyes? I know there are Master's that like this.they see it as spirited but i would venture to say most see it as bad behavior.



lusciouslips19 -> RE: Being Bratty (9/1/2008 7:47:24 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

  but I definitely agree that judging has been occurring throughout this thread.  


To judge is simply to form an opinion; there have been positive judgements in this thread, but somehow I don't think those were the ones you refer to here.  Funny, isn't it, that a positive judgement is okay but a negative one is not.



yes, and the young ones are the ones who are offended by others opinions or judgements. Those of us who have been around the block have a thicker skin and are not offended so easily.

Its never personal and only projection.



kittengirl8 -> RE: Being Bratty (9/1/2008 7:56:41 AM)

I was just throwing it out as a lightbulb moment that yes, judgment has been passed. Positive and negative. I don't recall saying anything about being offended by such opinions, either. Everyone is certainly entitled to their opinions. Once again, I as merely pointing out the fact that people have been judging others who say they act "bratty." Some have been negative, others positive. Certainly people are more inclined to discuss those whom disagree with them than those whom agree, yes? I mean, no need to argue with someone who affirms your position.

I certainly pass judgment on other people's way of life, albeit I generally don't speak up and voice my judgments, but I do it. My only point was that I was agreeing with what littlekitten1 was saying earlier.

Roselaure, I think you summed this up rather well - everything seems to come back to definitions, doesn't it? I mentioned my own "definition" in a way, and others have presented theirs. Bratty to one isn't bratty to another. Positive doesn't equal positive to everyone else. It's just one of those things in life.

(Side-note: Ooh, and someone contradicted themselves. I'm going to go write that in my notebook! Thank you, I've been waiting for something good for a few days now!)



lusciouslips19 -> RE: Being Bratty (9/1/2008 7:56:48 AM)

So what exactly is bratty? I give my opinion. We talk about ideas and thoughts and what I see in a particular problem. I even let him know when he doesnt make sense. But at the end of the day, he makes the decisions and I follow whether I believe it is logical or not. If i dont do as I am told, I am not a submissive. is that bratty or being a good sub? Am I challenging his authority if I interject? What about when it comes to play and I am giving feed back?" When you do that my shoulder aches or That makes me go numb".

if I am told to do something and I dont do it. That is bratty i think. That is passive aggressive. So instead of having open communication that tells him what makes me unhappy, I just ignore rules. To me that is bratty. If I am playing and I crack a joke or gag on cock and say,"mmmm, thai food," or am being spanked and told to count and I say,"one ringy dingy.two ringy dingy" thats being playful.



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