Disrespecting Older Submissives

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candystripper -> Disrespecting Older Submissives (11/25/2005 3:20:30 PM)
i received one of those emails i get rather often, from a Dom who was 27. My profile clearly says "40 or older". i told Him "no" but He persisted and i told Him He could be my friend, but nothing more. So we went to Yahoo IM, and lo and behold, He wants to discuss a stockings fetish He has. i warned Him twice to stop; then He told me He was seeking an older submissive. i said "i'm not available" and He refused to accept that, so now He's on my "ignore" list. Can anyone explain to me: (1) wtf is the attraction for a Dom in His twenties towards a woman my age (52)? (2) Why do these Men continue pursuing after being told "no, no, no"? i hate these misleading convos; i was honest and why He couldn't accept it mystifies me. candystripper

KatyLied -> RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives (11/25/2005 3:24:39 PM)
Well....it was explained to me, by a 20-something (ouch!), that "older women are better at pleasing and submitting."

girl4you2 -> RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives (11/25/2005 3:25:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: candystripper i received one of those emails i get rather often, from a Dom who was 27. My profile clearly says "40 or older". i told Him "no" but He persisted and i told Him He could be my friend, but nothing more. So we went to Yahoo IM, and lo and behold, He wants to discuss a stockings fetish He has. i warned Him twice to stop; then He told me He was seeking an older submissive. i said "i'm not available" and He refused to accept that, so now He's on my "ignore" list. Can anyone explain to me: (1) wtf is the attraction for a Dom in His twenties towards a woman my age (52)? (2) Why do these Men continue pursuing after being told "no, no, no"? i hate these misleading convos; i was honest and why He couldn't accept it mystifies me. candystripper one thing you might find that helps discourage them from prolonged contact is to not go to another forum to continue anything. do it here via emails and just politely copy and paste your first, "no thank you," to them a couple of times, then ignore them if they persist. by taking it to yahoo, it encourages them. as to why they do it, i've a few ideas but nothing scientific. i wish you well.

candystripper -> RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives (11/25/2005 3:45:45 PM)
quote: one thing you might find that helps discourage them from prolonged contact is to not go to another forum to continue anything. do it here via emails and just politely copy and paste your first, "no thank you," to them a couple of times, then ignore them if they persist. by taking it to yahoo, it encourages them. as to why they do it, i've a few ideas but nothing scientific. i wish you well. girl4you2 If i did that, i'd miss a chance to make friends. i have friends of all ages and although i met most of them in chat, i'm not adverse to making more younger friends. As i said, i was honest with Him but He ignored me...i cannot understand it. i assure you, i was clear as a bell. candystripper

JohnWarren -> RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives (11/25/2005 3:50:15 PM)
I'll be it isn't a case of him wanting someone older; it's simply you are female and breathing. To some of these guys, that pretty much fills the bill.

tsk1964 -> RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives (11/25/2005 4:02:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: candystripper Can anyone explain to me: (1) wtf is the attraction for a Dom in His twenties towards a woman my age (52)? (2) Why do these Men continue pursuing after being told "no, no, no"? i hate these misleading convos; i was honest and why He couldn't accept it mystifies me. candystripper I can't speak to the Dom/sub aspect of this but as far as a man being attracted to an older woman it's just one of those things. I was attracted to older women when I was in my twenties and still am.....except now they are my age. [;)] As for someone pursuing you after you clearly stated that you were not interested in anything other than friendship, some people just don't respect others I guess. It seems like that is just one of those things you have to deal with on the internet. For every person that will respect what you say and be happy to have made a new friend there are two or more that will say ok and then go right back to doing what they want instead of being honest and respectful. Sorry you have to deal with that candystripper and I hope that the people you run into are willing to accept and appreciate your friendship when it is offered.

slavejali -> RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives (11/25/2005 4:04:40 PM)
quote: it's simply you are female and breathing. i got a laugh out of that statement grin and i think it pretty much sums it up.

candystripper -> RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives (11/25/2005 4:18:36 PM)
quote: Well....it was explained to me, by a 20-something (ouch!), that "older women are better at pleasing and submitting." KatyLied O really? And here i was, thinking i'd need a strong Dom because i have looked after myself all my life. Hummm...i wonder how these myths get started? candystripper

candystripper -> RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives (11/25/2005 4:20:29 PM)
quote: I'll be it isn't a case of him wanting someone older; it's simply you are female and breathing. To some of these guys, that pretty much fills the bill. JohnWarren That's about as flattering as being approached by a man at closing time in the bar, LOL. candystripper

MastersBabieGirl -> RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives (11/25/2005 4:24:37 PM)
for some reason these guys just dont take no for an answer its like they have never heard it before so they wont accept it now its annoying but blocking is the only cure

Focus50 -> RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives (11/25/2005 4:49:00 PM)
Just a thought - and I'm not speaking from experience here.... Speaking generally (not just within BDSM), many older men enjoy the ego boost of dating much younger women and I also recall a few instances from my youth of younger males getting the same "kick" from dating a much older woman. Mind you, they weren't always respectful about it to their friends but I still know they saw it as a validation of their own perceived sexual prowess. Back to the lifestyle.... One of the more unfortunate aspects of "community BDSM" is that some dom/mes do enjoy posing or strutting. I'm wondering if these younger doms also view having a much older submissive as being a validation of their own dominant prowess, too? If so, that also has the added consequence of reducing you to little more than a trophy in his eyes.... In which case, you should adopt a "no means NO" attitude! Focus.

redheadedfire4u -> RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives (11/25/2005 4:54:51 PM)
lmao ... I have no idea ... at 43 I thought I was pretty safe but no went on a outing with some of the girls from work to the casino and this guy slapped my arse, I turned round, looked at him and asked if he was old enough to shave, nah did not take hint just told me he was 20yrs old and could shave. I asked him what he was thinking that I was old enough to be his mother, he told me he certainly was not looking at me as his mother, I told him he should come back in annother 10yrs and he asked if 10 mins would be acceptable and he would go get us a drink. He just would not take a hint, in the end one of the girls standing next to me jumped in with a barage that I think would have made a drunken Irish sailor blush ... do you know he still asked me what I wanted to drink lol .... no I have no idea what makes these guys tick but it certainly is not maners ... and I would like to add that I have met some exceptional young men that would veiw this behavior as distastefull as I did ... not all young men are this rediculous! warm smiles to all

KatyLied -> RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives (11/25/2005 5:25:22 PM)
quote: i wonder how these myths get started? Some men will tell ya what they think you want to hear.

girl4you2 -> RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives (11/25/2005 5:34:59 PM)
Edited: quote: ORIGINAL: redheadedfire4u ...with a barage that I think would have made a drunken Irish sailor blush ... do you know he still asked me what I wanted to drink lol .... no I have no idea what makes these guys tick but it certainly is not maners ... warm smiles to all i'd have love to have watched your friend hit him linguistically at full irish tilt quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied quote: i wonder how these myths get started? Some men will tell ya what they think you want to hear. some things come with maturity; some have a bit of it early on, and some seem to not get the idea after a great deal of time. some men tell things they think you want to hear, and others tell you what they want to believe themselves, i think. if they'd just stick to the truth...

JohnWarren -> RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives (11/25/2005 5:49:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: candystripper quote: I'll be it isn't a case of him wanting someone older; it's simply you are female and breathing. To some of these guys, that pretty much fills the bill. JohnWarren That's about as flattering as being approached by a man at closing time in the bar, LOL. candystripper[/font][/size][/color] Or after the bar has closed and you are trying to get your car unlocked in the parking lot.

riskrewarded -> RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives (11/25/2005 5:54:48 PM)
Age and experience are positive things!! I find it kind of sad a bunch of women think the only reason people have for wanting older women is desperation. Not so!! Realize your own intrinsic value. I know Im a way better catch now that Im 36 than my early 20s. And how hard do women really think it is to get some booty, its not like its that big of a deal. The question shouldnt be why is some young guy after me the question should be how can I let the young dope off easy.

CelticPrince -> RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives (11/25/2005 5:58:44 PM)
candystripper, I thought with all my wisdom, I was going to be able to clear the fog for you but, grins, my thoughts have already been presented. sinple solution, to be on the safe side, you be the invitor, it is the way of the path in any case. Good Luck CP

Wolf1020 -> RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives (11/25/2005 6:06:22 PM)
I'm 20 and I find women in their mid 20's to early 30's attract me most but I do try to cap myself at 30 for anything more then a friend or perhaps occasional play partner where I would be more open to women who are older then that. And a woman in her 50's? Sure there's a possibility I might find her attractive but someone that much older then my mother I don't think I could even be play partners with. Right now a woman who is say 40 might not make that much difference. But in ten years? Twenty years? When I am forty she would be sixty could the two of us live with an age gap that big then even if it isn't a problem now? I think in the long term when selecting a partner for a relationship and not just for play partners. Why is it for me I find women older then myself more attractive? Two main reasons. First being looks an 18 year old isn't always grown into herself. I like a woman who has some curves or a little extra padding and to me while I might look at a living Barbie doll and a few thoughts might come to mind, I find a woman that is a bit more figured to be MUCH more attractive. Is that to say slightly older women let themselves go? No, it just seems to me they grow into their bodies and fill out their curves much better then younger women who are 18 or 19. Is it to say I have never found an 18 or 19 year old woman attractive? Of course not I find many of them attractive. But in general, I find women in their mid 20's early 30's more attractive then a good bit of their younger counterparts. They just have better bodies in my opinion. Second is intellect. I am a mature person and I like partners who are the same. I wont automatically disqualify someone of being mature for being young but in general I just tend to get along with better a few years older then myself. Why is that? Don't really know its probably a bunch of little reasons that just mesh better together. And I find that a lot of women my own age are still go out and have fun types. While the reverse can be true in that there are older women like that and younger women more like me in general that is what I find. I'm more of a homebody, or when I go out I prefer places like restaurants, movie theater, museum, etc. I despise clubs and places like that and in general I find more women a bit older then myself share the same interest's. Maybe that's just who they are? Maybe they have had their play time and want to be more settled? Who knows the reasons are as numerous probably as their are people it is just want I generally seem to find. So to me I personally find women in their mid 20's to early 30's the most attractive both in looks and intellect when considering relationship potential. As to the why cant they understand no no no...well that one is more complicated because there are many reasons. There are some of the more shallow ones though that come to mind. One is thinking they are the hottest thing this side of Satan's hairy nut sack, "there is no way this old broad is turning down me a hot young stud like me" type of thing. A lot of guys my age are that stupid and self absorbed. Another is they are used to being able to nag and eventually get what they want, sad as it is it's becoming the society that we live in that getting you in the sack is translated to that before dinner cookie mommy gave into after enough whining and gave it to them to shut them up. Can also be simply shallow you are older and presumably more intelligent on how to spot people who only want one thing from you, have a warm spot between your legs, and would make a nice addition to their list of victories. Then again maybe they just don't speak English. Personally to me no is no. If we continue talking I might flirt a bit that's just how I am, but I'm not going to jump on you like a needy dog and hump your leg like some of these guys that can't take no for an answer.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives (11/25/2005 6:25:13 PM)
Trot on over to the Persistent v Stupid thread for further details......... I have no clue what makes these youngsters chase women old enough to be their mothers----I suspect they hang on a trifle longer because we were taught that it wasn't ladylike to tell someone to Just Fuck Off! :) :)F

MHOO314 -> RE: Disrespecting Older Submissives (11/25/2005 6:35:19 PM)
I as you all-- get inundated with the "boys", 19-20 somethings who want to serve--I too am very clear about My needs and wants--- I often wonder if they see a scene out of the old movies where the "older" woman takes them in and pays their way through life---egawd-----I pass up the screw top wines for the aged stuff---I do the same with subs---smiles--

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