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Prinsexx -> RE: Recovery period from play (9/2/2008 10:53:18 AM)
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Funny thing synchronocity as i was thinking this very thing myself.
It's been a weird two weeks. I had a ligament tear in my shoulder which i turned down surgery for twice way back in 2005. Thinking of course that i was too busy for surgery, thinking of course that i could just go to the gym and heal it, thinking of course that i was different as usual and could rebel against what the doctors were saying.
Anyway the shoulder pain had suddenly become worse. You know the type of pain; can't turn to put a seat belt on in the car, can't put on a jacket, can't lift a bag of shopping. Worse; i can't play my flute as it's my ;eft shoulder. Even worse is when i stop and rest or lay down. hell it's hell.
Anyway i was post play and walking arounf with two distinct types of pain. One bad pain (the torn ligament). And two good pain; ost needle play, delicious pain.
Both lots of pain running parallel in my experience, but god i felt worn out, do feel worn out and brought down by the constant ligament pain, which won't go away and i can;t deal with it.
My Master says it's because it's my boy telling me something is wrong, as opposed to the good pain telling me something is right. he's right. But either way i have learned that anything of a hurtful nature which is not 'right' before or during or after play makes me tired, cranky, anxious and needing to sleep the scene away.
I'm changing and moving away from being the emotional masochist i was. When i scrutinize what i could tolerate emotionally, i am certain i would find exceptionally difficult to process now.
It's all about processing the scene.
I am a total baby if i have to give blood in a medical setting. a syringe can make me feel faint. i won't look, can;t look if i am having a tetanus for example. But edge play is what i crave and love. Perhaps, just perhaps, and this is what i was thingkinh about this afternoon, the body itself does not distinguish between one sort of 'attack' and another. It just takes psychological energy to deal with what could otherwise be experienced by the body as post traumatic stress.
Hormones definitely play their part. I've also used 5HTP and when serotonin levels are high (well when i am simply happy0 i don't get the drop hardly at all and can tolerate intense levels of pain processing. In terms of age, the older i get the more i am able to process and just get on with daily life. with a household to run there isn;t really any choice.
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