Wonder if this could really be used?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Wonder if this could really be used?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Humor and Games >> Wonder if this could really be used?

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Wonder if this could really be used? - 11/25/2005 5:19:13 PM

DameDarkness

Posts: 341
Joined: 10/1/2004
Status: offline

Mr Right Application

Dear ________,

I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further
contention as Mr. Right.

As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and
dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to
make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an
opening become available.

So that you may find better success in
your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the
following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition.

Check those that apply..

___Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it,
hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.

___Your first name is objectionable. It's just not something I can
picture myself yelling out in a fit of passion.

___The fact that our dining experiences to date has left MY wallet a
little lighter, and YOUR pants a little tighter!

___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions
about yourself before you asked me more than one about myself.

___Your constant e-mailing shows me you have TOO much time on your
hands!

___Your legs are skinnier than mine.

___You're too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be
beaten up repeatedly at recess.

___You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck condition from
trying to kiss you.

___I find your inability to fix my car
extraordinarily unappealing.

___The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an
inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.

___The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.

___You still live with your parents.

___Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Star Trek
uniforms a little disconcerting.

___Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to suspect
that you are some sort of psychotic stalker.

___Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I am
seeking in a long-term partner.

___Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should
however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please
resubmit your application.

___Somehow I doubt those condoms I found in your overnight bag were
really necessary for a successful business trip.

___I am out of your league, set your sights lower next time.

Sincerely,

________

_____________________________

Into the night sky I fly through distant lands and darkened streets... Up into the clouds to play and dance with the moon.....To the hearts of all and I say to you be true to they own heart.

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Wonder if this could really be used? - 11/25/2005 7:21:26 PM

jamesthehumanrug

Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline

greetings ,dame darkeness,
i find the 3 most common ones a woman hates are:
your legs are skinnier, than hers ,
or thanks, for being able, to fix my car you- gerk ,
and, i'm ,out ,of your league; you have a nerve
....however ,if parents are rich ;they love a house boy trained and comfortable ;still ,at home, with the mommy;and ,
the condemmed apartment is a look ,into the future, if, that's what you want...(like YOUR daddy?)
the height ,out ,of proportion ,to weight matters more ,to men ;it seems, than woman ,when you look ,at ,danny devito.
,and ,the wardrobe ,also matters more, with woman, when you look ,at any mans' grocery-bag garb.
,but, the skinny legs embarrass her, with legs sitting ,together ;his knees thin like a bird ,and, making hers look like a man-mountain deans.

funny: a womans' perspective ;it's" a woman thing" i guess ,but, none the less very ;very real.

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 11/25/2005 7:25:20 PM >

_____________________________

I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to DameDarkness)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Wonder if this could really be used? - 11/28/2005 6:01:31 PM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

cute

(in reply to jamesthehumanrug)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Wonder if this could really be used? - 12/1/2005 11:29:27 PM

DameDarkness

Posts: 341
Joined: 10/1/2004
Status: offline

I still wonder if i could use this in real life though............ but it does have some funny qualities

_____________________________

Into the night sky I fly through distant lands and darkened streets... Up into the clouds to play and dance with the moon.....To the hearts of all and I say to you be true to they own heart.

(in reply to RiotGirl)

Profile

Post #: 4