RE: sappa for President '08

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RE: sappa for President '08 - 9/2/2008 12:20:55 AM

BitaTruble

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Well, I just can't let this go on any longer! I'm sorry, but the beatings.. er bashings must begin now! Sappa does NOT advocate tieing people up. That's just unexceptable and should mean automatic disqualification from the high office of POTUS. I'm going to have to throw my hat into the ring and run for that Top Spot myself. I am annoucing, publically, for the first time today, my intention to run for President of the United States!

Military Experience: I love guys in uniforms and I have tons of experience with them.

On Iraq: I will bring our troops home starting immediately which is a nice segue into my ...

Foreign Policy: I will make an annoucement to the world that I'm a crazy fucking bitch and if you try to fuck with the United States, I will drop so many fucking nukes on your country that the world will split in two. I'm menopausal.. so do NOT fuck with me! If you play nice, nice with the US, we'll play nice, nice with you.

I will never start shit.. but I will end it.

Alternative Energy: I will encourage more people to stay home and use their energy fucking and spanking each other so there will be less drivers on the road which will mean less consumption of our natural resources. Spanking and sex are great forms of exercise, which will increase good health which, in turn will lower health care costs. Additionally, the more people who are fucking and spanking (or getting spanked), the less likely they'll be roaming the streets with guns trying to put a cap in your ass .. so, crime will go down. With the crime rate lower, we won't need so many police officers and that money can be used to buy more toys encouraging even more people to stay home and fuck and spank their brains out. Talk about a great Energy Resource! Self-perpetuating!

On the death penalty: I am of the firm belief that everyone will, eventually, die.

Taxes - Read my lips (not those lips you perverts!) NO NEW TAXES! I will legalize marijuana, then tax the shit out of it to pay for all my programs which will still cost consumers a hell of a lot less than the black market is currently getting for a Z. Farmers who are currently being subsidized to NOT grow crops will no longer be subsidized because they'll be cultivating the weed I'm going to tax the shit out of.. and they'll need some help with the cultivation, so, that will create jobs!

I will not allow anyone under the age of 21 to join the military. If you're not old enough to drink, then you're not old enough to be put in harms way and die for your country. Get yer ass back in school, slacker!

My stance on abortion: I ain't the one pregnant so what you do is up to you. Wear a fucking condom when you're fucking and it should be a non-issue most of the time.

That's enough for my first speech, but I'll be happy to answer any questions regarding any of the policy's I've listed or any which come up later.

BITA TRUBLE 4 PRESIDENT!
VOTE FOR ME!

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 9/2/2008 12:21:34 AM >

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RE: sappa for President '08 - 9/3/2008 11:14:03 AM

scifi1133

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From: virginia
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Well Bita since Ive never actually seen sappa I am going to assume that your prettier than he is lol. But I still have to throw my support behind him.
Go Sappa 08

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RE: sappa for President '08 - 9/3/2008 11:16:22 AM

beargonewild

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I still want to know why Bita is running for Prez when she was nominated for Vice Prez? Ah well, this should be quite interesting all the same!

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Post #: 43

RE: sappa for President '08 - 9/3/2008 11:47:29 AM

sappatoti

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Joined: 10/30/2006
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[.. emerging from the darkness, removing the residue of unknown origin from my personage ...]

Bita, you are correct and I am wrong. There should be bondage stations at the border with pain enforcers getting whatever information they can from the do-gooders that attempt to infiltrate the land of the truly free. On this issue I will do what the other two major candidates have done and flip-flop my position.

As for bear's nomination for you as the VP, I don't recall seeing a second to the motion, so I guess that means you're free to run for the Top Spot too. You most likely are better qualified for the top position as I have absolutely no experience as a top.

Sci... my friend... while I do welcome your support with many thanks, I would prefer if you offer it any other way than from behind me. If you were a woman I wouldn't feel so... insecure, but... well... you know.

Cali, if you're still willing to pay to see what kind of support Sci might give me, you may want to whip up a lobbyist reception or two. It's been a while since I've had too much to drink and, well... one never knows what I might end up doing when that happens. Hell, to keep things legal, those receptions have to be labeled as "benefits," so if the cause is right, I might take the support any way it's given.

Emperor... I was kind of thinking that the office of Attorney General and Ministry of Pain would be one in the same. I could use someone who knows how to crack the whip to make sure things are done all legal like. There are so many pansy-assed laws on the books now that need to either be brought up to strict standards are cast out. And yes, I do believe that corporal punishment should return to keep the brats in line. Think you can handle the millions of brats whose pleas you may have to entertain?

Bear... of course you can be Canada's Ambassador. Take the position by force if need be, it wouldn't bother me. Since I'm not a Canadian, I don't suppose it should bother me, but I do like the way you negotiate and schmooze. Can you make it happen?

I think that's it for now. Please keep the comments and suggestions coming. I thank you all for your support, whether up front or from behind the scenes. Remember, together we can all make this land one to be proud of once again.

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Post #: 44

RE: sappa for President '08 - 9/11/2008 10:37:40 PM

Emperor1956

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quote:

Sappatoti: Emperor... I was kind of thinking that the office of Attorney General and Ministry of Pain would be one in the same. I could use someone who knows how to crack the whip to make sure things are done all legal like. There are so many pansy-assed laws on the books now that need to either be brought up to strict standards are cast out. And yes, I do believe that corporal punishment should return to keep the brats in line. Think you can handle the millions of brats whose pleas you may have to entertain?

If Nominated, I WILL RUN. If Elected, I WILL SERVE (take that, Lyndon, you old dead fart!) It is an honor to spank bratty ass for my country. I'll start with the Vice Presidential candidates....bita, Ms. Palin...oh hell, even Bear. I'm an equal opportunity spanker! Line UP!

I only regret I have but two wrists to give to my country...

E.

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RE: sappa for President '08 - 9/11/2008 10:40:38 PM

CalifChick

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sappatoti

Cali, if you're still willing to pay to see what kind of support Sci might give me, you may want to whip up a lobbyist reception or two. It's been a while since I've had too much to drink and, well... one never knows what I might end up doing when that happens. Hell, to keep things legal, those receptions have to be labeled as "benefits," so if the cause is right, I might take the support any way it's given.

Wooooooooohooooooooooo, I'll take any excuse to get sappa liquored up. Uhhh, I mean, yessir, I'd love to organize your "support benefit."

Cali "Don't Call Me Martha" Stewart

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RE: sappa for President '08 - 9/11/2008 10:48:27 PM

knees2you

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I'm good to go as a running mate!

And I don't promise You all anything at all! Nada! Nothing!
I'm not going to make promises I can't or won't be able to keep!

Oh wait that was Jesse "The Body" Ventura.

Oh Double Wait! Holy Bean pole Batman, that's what
got him elected!

Always, knees2you

< Message edited by knees2you -- 9/11/2008 10:49:24 PM >

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Post #: 47