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RE: Munch gathering code of conduct/rules ? - 9/1/2008 1:11:38 PM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
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From: Phx AZ
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Thanks again to those who have given input and also those who have mailed suggestions . This is going to be serving those out of metro areas , some small town areas where gatherings are needed along with more community and support for fellow BDSMers . for some this may be a first time experiance , and they also may not be able to travel .Much of this for people that have been around is a given though some veteran also may need a reminder . I have been asked many time what is a munch ?what do we wear ? can we bring kids ? what is talked about ? will there be play ? can we show off marks ?and more .. I think getting basic ground layed for all makes for clear understanding of what is expected and can also rid a great group of trouble fast .The poor actions of few effect us all in the public eye . I also do not wish to freak out the citizens at large , push what and who we are on people that do not wish to be educated , nor scare off the newbies .Nor do i want this to be kinky speed dating .
I have ideas but seeing your posts just add to that -Again thanks for helping , your time , and post s & mail .

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 21

RE: Munch gathering code of conduct/rules ? - 9/1/2008 1:33:30 PM

totalditz

Posts: 10
Joined: 8/17/2008
Status: offline

Hmm...how about "act as if your mother/mother-in-law/boss were sitting two tables away"?

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 22

RE: Munch gathering code of conduct/rules ? - 9/1/2008 2:13:52 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance
The only real thing I have to add here is this: If you have the option of a play party after the munch, keep the two exclusive and separate. One of my first clubs, we had the munch location at the same place as our party and it became exceedingly difficult to control who attended the parties. Not everyone who attends a munch is someone you will want entering your inner circle - not to put too elitist a slant on things.

And just to offer up an entirely different viewpoint on the same thing... I'm GLAD that our MaST meetings have the play party obviously separated from the munch. I would not be attending the meeting if that were not true. I have no interest in play parties. So far from elitist Winsome, I see it as a favor to me that a predominantly kinky crowd provides a non-kink venue suitable for me.

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(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 23

RE: Munch gathering code of conduct/rules ? - 9/1/2008 7:21:22 PM

Marion001

Posts: 54
Joined: 7/24/2008
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Many of the mentioned rules for a Munch that have been mentioned here seem so obvious that it is unfortunate that they have to be discussed. The biggest problem that i have with munches is the noise level. I would ask your members to keep their noise level to a appropriate level not only because certain words just slip out at top volume, but if you want the dinner to keep letting you return....its best to be polite to the others in attendance at the dinner.

Also Munches are not places to Hook up. Many times i have watched as young single women enter a munch and are nearly eaten alive by the members in attendance. It is very nerve racking for a young person to go to a munch by themselves, they should have to worry about heavy come ons by people they dont know.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 24

RE: Munch gathering code of conduct/rules ? - 9/1/2008 7:22:46 PM

Marion001

Posts: 54
Joined: 7/24/2008
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Also another suggestion, make sure that were you meet is a under 21 joint for your young kinksters! we all appreciate it!

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Post #: 25

RE: Munch gathering code of conduct/rules ? - 9/1/2008 7:49:05 PM

sublizzie

Posts: 1252
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Definitely remind people to keep their voices down. I was at a local munch that was not in a private room but out in the middle of the family restaurant. There were young children around us many times. One time a member who did not have children was discussing very kinky stuff in a loud voice. Unfortunately no one in the group with authority, and children, was close enough to tell that person to shut up. I was very uncomfortable. The family with the children must have been as well since they left rather quickly.

You don't want that kind of thing to happen at a munch. Too easy to have the restaurant refuse to allow your group to come back.

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(in reply to azropedntied)

Post #: 26

RE: Munch gathering code of conduct/rules ? - 9/1/2008 8:29:33 PM

stella41b

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Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
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I'm posting back as I have a venue now arranged. It's the upstairs room in a pub with a terrace, small bar, rather like a private home but a large room and it'#s in the same pub where I run my theatre. We discussed it today and the theatre is happy to be the main organizers of the munch but we're still looking for a consensus with others and taking a somewhat evolutionary approach to developing the munch over a period of time. The three main qualities we're looking for are flexibility, originality and atmosphere and we'd like this to be a munch which is somewhat different to other munches in London. We plan on having one or two social meet and greet more vanilla type meetings but are open to the idea of later having separately organized workshop meetings or play parties.

However back to the drawing board...

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Post #: 27

RE: Munch gathering code of conduct/rules ? - 9/1/2008 8:30:54 PM

stella41b

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From: SW London (UK)
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quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

I'm posting back as I have a venue now arranged. It's the upstairs room in a pub with a terrace, small bar, rather like a private home but a large room and it'#s in the same pub where I run my theatre. We discussed it today and the theatre is happy to be the main organizers of the munch but we're still looking for a consensus with others and taking a somewhat evolutionary approach to developing the munch over a period of time. The three main qualities we're looking for are flexibility, originality and atmosphere and we'd like this to be a munch which is somewhat different to other munches in London. We plan on having one or two social meet and greet more vanilla type meetings per month but are open to the idea of later having separately organized workshop meetings or play parties.

However back to the drawing board...

Apologies, it appears I have a little dementia or reading difficulties over posting this.

< Message edited by stella41b -- 9/1/2008 8:32:09 PM >

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Post #: 28

RE: Munch gathering code of conduct/rules ? - 9/1/2008 8:35:05 PM

PrincesaAshley

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Joined: 8/14/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: totalditz

Hmm...how about "act as if your mother/mother-in-law/boss were sitting two tables away"?

That's probably too vague, especially for the HARDCORE types that want to wear leathers and chains and live BDSM 365 days a year no matter who sees it, young or old, family or friend.

Just gotta be blunt and say leave the fetish stuff behind.

(in reply to totalditz)

Post #: 29

RE: Munch gathering code of conduct/rules ? - 9/1/2008 8:42:51 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
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You do realize that some people have generations of family who's into bdsm and attend fetish events while their adult children or mothers or other family members are there don't you?

In the local groups here, there's two mother and daughters who're in the same group and go to the same events.

Plus some people's parents know they're kinky and for those who's parents do they do not act all prim and proper for the parents sake. I for one, being one of the ones who's parents know, and I'd behave the same way at a munch as I would at home in front of them.

quote:

ORIGINAL: totalditz

Hmm...how about "act as if your mother/mother-in-law/boss were sitting two tables away"?

< Message edited by YourhandMyAss -- 9/1/2008 8:45:44 PM >

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Post #: 30

RE: Munch gathering code of conduct/rules ? - 9/1/2008 8:47:08 PM

kittinSol

Posts: 16926
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

You do realize that some people have generations of family who's into bdsm and attend fetish events while their children or mothers are there don't you?

Has there been a study done? Is BDSM genetic?

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Post #: 31

RE: Munch gathering code of conduct/rules ? - 9/1/2008 8:55:41 PM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
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From: SW London (UK)
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quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

You do realize that some people have generations of family who's into bdsm and attend fetish events while their adult children or mothers or other family members are there don't you?

Of course, but this isn't just about politicians.

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Post #: 32

RE: Munch gathering code of conduct/rules ? - 9/1/2008 9:55:55 PM

pompeii

Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline

Out here, in the wild and reckless Silicon Valley, there are three munches within walking distance of each other, namely San Jose, Campbell, and Palo Alto, where munches were invented, for God's sake. I've been to 'em all and they're pretty much the same, only different ... and on the topic, I'm sure they each publish a set of similar rules you can go by.

You can probably get a list of the munch rules for San Jose at http://www.smodyssey.com/?q=node/8 or for Campbell at http://southerncrossmunch.blogspot.com or for Palo Alto at http://www.themunch.org

Personally, and this is OT so I'll keep it brief, I find munches kind'a boring. I mean, everyone's nice, and all that, but, if you're all alone, well, it's just not a whole hell'o a lotta' fun, all by your lonesome self. I know the point is to make friends, and, I guess if I went every week I would and could, but, again, everyone is friendly as pie, but, I just find the talk (and nothing else) a bit on the long side. Just me probably ... you go on ...

(in reply to stella41b)

Post #: 33

RE: Munch gathering code of conduct/rules ? - 9/2/2008 8:58:48 AM

Marion001

Posts: 54
Joined: 7/24/2008
Status: offline

i have been to the san jose munch. it is wonderful. Miss V does a wonderful job hosting it. As for feeling lonely at munches, i suggest in cases where there are numerous people that are new or not talkative, to be given a chance to meet everyone talk about themselves a little and get involved. it is no fun to go to a munch and not have anything to say.

(in reply to pompeii)

Post #: 34

RE: Munch gathering code of conduct/rules ? - 9/2/2008 10:12:29 AM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

You do realize that some people have generations of family who's into bdsm and attend fetish events while their children or mothers are there don't you?

Has there been a study done? Is BDSM genetic?

I don't know if there's been a study done... but I do know that two out of four of our adult children are also fetish/BDSM. (One isn't fetish, but is alt-spirituality, and one is a 'nilla').

CFB

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(in reply to kittinSol)

Post #: 35

RE: Munch gathering code of conduct/rules ? - 9/2/2008 12:16:54 PM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance
The only real thing I have to add here is this: If you have the option of a play party after the munch, keep the two exclusive and separate. One of my first clubs, we had the munch location at the same place as our party and it became exceedingly difficult to control who attended the parties. Not everyone who attends a munch is someone you will want entering your inner circle - not to put too elitist a slant on things.

And just to offer up an entirely different viewpoint on the same thing... I'm GLAD that our MaST meetings have the play party obviously separated from the munch. I would not be attending the meeting if that were not true. I have no interest in play parties. So far from elitist Winsome, I see it as a favor to me that a predominantly kinky crowd provides a non-kink venue suitable for me.

You make a good point - from a personal stance I hadn't really considered

Thanks! Now that I think of it, I've attended munches, having no desire to attend play parties (at that particular time), and probably wouldn't have attended if play was taking place. Just another reason why munches serve their purpose best, by not being included as part of a play party venue.

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 36

RE: Munch gathering code of conduct/rules ? - 9/3/2008 2:26:59 PM

DickStrong

Posts: 26
Joined: 3/28/2008
Status: offline

Is there not a NYC munch this week? Please let me know if you know. Thanks!

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 37

RE: Munch gathering code of conduct/rules ? - 9/3/2008 2:28:17 PM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DickStrong

Is there not a NYC munch this week? Please let me know if you know. Thanks!

It's Friday at 7pm, the notice was posted on the Upcoming Events board.

(in reply to DickStrong)

Post #: 38

RE: Munch gathering code of conduct/rules ? - 9/3/2008 9:04:07 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

I'm sure there's some studies out there, There's studies on just about everything else now days, but I don't know personally if bdsm is genetic or not.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

You do realize that some people have generations of family who's into bdsm and attend fetish events while their children or mothers are there don't you?

Has there been a study done? Is BDSM genetic?

(in reply to kittinSol)

Post #: 39

RE: Munch gathering code of conduct/rules ? - 9/3/2008 9:09:13 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

I also think they're boreing, very clickish too. and some of them now a days more and more have topic discussions like what is bdsm to you, and MAster and slave, and you and such and I am not interested in a round robin themed discussion. I go to socialize freely and unstructurally. If the munch is at a place with really good food an my partner can go, then I'd go, cause if the people are all up in their little click and kind of unfriendly ya still got your partner to talk to an enjoy a damned fine meal together.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii
Personally, and this is OT so I'll keep it brief, I find munches kind'a boring. I mean, everyone's nice, and all that, but, if you're all alone, well, it's just not a whole hell'o a lotta' fun, all by your lonesome self. I know the point is to make friends, and, I guess if I went every week I would and could, but, again, everyone is friendly as pie, but, I just find the talk (and nothing else) a bit on the long side. Just me probably ... you go on ...

(in reply to pompeii)

Post #: 40

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