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Self Taught Mistress Seeks Mentor - 11/25/2005 7:25:31 PM

urnotworthy

Posts: 11
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline

I have studied bdsm for over 2 years now. At the start I spent hours online hungrily absorbing ever scrap of information on dynamics, and bdsm in general. I still am hungry for any knowledge I have not yet aquired. I do have slaves, and am training them to please me with their every thought and deed..but I do feel lost sometimes, or unsure of how to proceed. I would love a mentor or even just a group to discuss training methods with. I know everyone is going to say for me to check out my local bdsm community. I would love to, but I am unable to at this time... some online mentorship would be so much better for me at this point. I would love any information on how to find an online mentor. Thanks

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RE: Self Taught Mistress Seeks Mentor - 11/25/2005 7:32:24 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

Online as others will probably point out is not real life. Am I reading correctly that you are book taught and have online only slaves?

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RE: Self Taught Mistress Seeks Mentor - 11/26/2005 5:32:34 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

If you are only experiencing this from an online view, then there is no point in selecting a mentor, every gosh darn online/chatroom mentor out there is an expert

I will tell you what I tell most about the reality of being involved in a 'real life' power exchange relationship... you either are a dominant or submissive or you are not. You are not going to teach yourself to be one. You may learn to emulate the tendencies & mannerisms of each, but you will not be able to maintain the actuality of being dominant or submissive for the long haul.

Once in a real life relationship...best advice #1

Keepin' it real!

You have to discover the strengths & weaknesses that each partner has & utilize them in a positive manner. This requires a lot of hard work for both. If you aren't interested in hard work... stick to the bedroom fun & frolic games of kinky sex & fetish toys. That's the easy part.

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 11/26/2005 5:33:23 AM >

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MstrssPassion

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RE: Self Taught Mistress Seeks Mentor - 11/26/2005 5:53:23 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

You can go to classes and workshops to learn techniques though sometimes one-on-one learning is best -- mentors can do this but I usually think of a more master-apprentice dynamic if its for learning a technique, especially one technique. (for example, I apprenticed in NYC to learn flogging and knife play with people I knew and trusted but they weren't my mentors because they were very focused on one activity until I learned it)

I personally think the best scene mentors are those that ask questions, introduce you to new thoughts and ideas, and who listen to you and help you with any doubts or fear that might come up as you try new things or go through different relationships.

For someone to really listen and ask these questions, you need face-to-face time so you can really get to know someone.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: Self Taught Mistress Seeks Mentor - 12/3/2005 3:35:54 PM

MstDee

Posts: 2
Joined: 11/11/2005
Status: offline

Go to MystressWorld.com or write to [email protected] She mentors on-line and is great!!

< Message edited by MstDee -- 12/3/2005 3:37:22 PM >

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RE: Self Taught Mistress Seeks Mentor - 12/5/2005 2:30:29 AM

firefey

Posts: 144
Joined: 1/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

I will tell you what I tell most about the reality of being involved in a 'real life' power exchange relationship... you either are a dominant or submissive or you are not. You are not going to teach yourself to be one. You may learn to emulate the tendencies & mannerisms of each, but you will not be able to maintain the actuality of being dominant or submissive for the long haul.

Once in a real life relationship...best advice #1

Keepin' it real!

You have to discover the strengths & weaknesses that each partner has & utilize them in a positive manner. This requires a lot of hard work for both. If you aren't interested in hard work... stick to the bedroom fun & frolic games of kinky sex & fetish toys. That's the easy part.

i think it's a disservice to say, if you're dominant it will be easy for you to dominate. that's like saying if you have a child you'll just know how to raise it. yes, there is a good deal of instinct involved, but knowing how to handle things that come up is another matter entirely. how do you deal with your sub/slave when they stop acting like the ones in the books? getting real life advice is invaluable.

if none is available to you, i suggest expanding your reading library to include child rearing/disciplin books, psychology books, anatomy/physiology books, and books on training dogs.

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

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