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leadership527 -> RE: Communication vs. being right. (9/2/2008 5:59:16 PM)
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Hello Missokyst:
I know you're responding to Icarys, but since your question exactly fits me, I thought I'd make a stab at it.
Why would I bother with a kinky tag if I'm already in the socially acceptable "vanilla" position?
A few reasons that I can think of.
How about, the grass is always greener for starters? You know, being fundamentally boring my whole life, maybe it's kind of cool to experiment with being not boring?
More importantly though, was that it took me a long time (yeah, ok, so much for me being smart) to get it. BDSM is kink. It wasn't immediately clear to me that the entire community was only distantly related to this wierd new thing that I was doing. There seemed to be a lot of similarities. My wife kneels to me. She obeys... much moreso than I'd expect from a "traditional wife". etc. etc. It wasn't an unreasonable thing to go with the M/s nomenclature before I realized that they were inextricably tied up in sexual activities.
So, I looked around, tried to understand what tags might help me to navigate while I was still dazed and confused, and applied them. Only in the last week did I figure out I was swimming in entirely the wrong pond. Despite my "grass is greener" thing, this confusion was the predominant reason why I chose a "kinky" tag for a vanilla thing.
Those, at least, are the two reasons that I personally ended up with misleading tags. It's all fixed now though. In public she's my wife now which I suspect communicates better. In private, we still use master/slave because... well... I like 'em probably for some sort of romantic fantasy reasons. And, given I'm HE WHO MUST BE OBEYED *laughs*... well... we use em.
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