BBW/Big & Tall, does it necessarily mean unhealthy

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BBW/Big & Tall, does it necessarily mean unhealthy - 9/2/2008 7:31:34 AM

SimplyMe73

Posts: 1
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

I received a message this morning from a sub who said he wasn't interested. First time I received a message from this individual and he never looked at my profile. I emailed him back politely and said thank you but he must have mistakenly emailed me because I'd never had any contact with him before. He then looked at my profile and emailed me in return that BBW is the stupiest term used on this site and within the lifestyle since it's one used by people who are unhealthy and have no self control. At that point I utilized what self control I don't have and didn't return a reply.

Does everyone carry this same stereotypical attitude, even when it comes to men being Big & Tall?

Post #: 1

RE: BBW/Big & Tall, does it necessarily mean unhealthy - 9/2/2008 8:13:32 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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I personally carry no idea in my head whatsoever about what does "BBW" mean. I have to assume though, that the sub who was talking to you (if you call unsolicited insults talking) was connecting BBW with "overweight". There are dozens of "fat threads" already on collarme. In an effort to make this less offensive to the overweight readers, I'll just go ahead and talk about my smoking habit instead from my own personal views.

Smoking was an indicator of my physical unhealthiness.
Smoking was an indicator of my lack of self control, at least in the area of ... well..smoking.

Neither indicator was a perfect measure even in that limited context. Further, it is absolutely impossible to say, for instance, that because I demonstrated a lack of control in one area of my life, that I may not otherwise be a very disciplined person. Surely, I cannot be the only person who knows smokers who are also disciplined, strong, and generally successful and healthy human beings. The bottom line is you can't look at one slim facet of a human being and declare sweeping generalizations about them. Now, show me those indicators along with other supporting indicators and I might come to a conclusion. That would be assuming I had a reason to. I can't see myself firing off unsolicited messages to every person on collarme that didn't meet my own personal aesthetic. Good god, this guy must have a lot of free time on his hands. People are not so monodimensional. People are not "trustworthy" or not. People are not "self-disciplined" or not. Personality traits tend to express differently in different contexts within our lives.

One thing I might point out.. While I smoked (and even now), I have no issue with smokers. But I always had a deep mistrust of anyone who would tell me that there was nothing wrong with smoking and that the health risks were all unproven hogwash. I also fully understood women who said, "I would never get involved with a smoker." Honestly, it made a lot of sense to me, even when I smoked.

Oh, and kudos for your act of demonstrated self control.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to SimplyMe73)

Post #: 2

RE: BBW/Big & Tall, does it necessarily mean unhealthy - 9/2/2008 8:16:46 AM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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The comments about self control and unhealthy are just PC terms for saying they are grossed out by fat people. The flip side of the coin is using BBW for fat.

It is what it is, beating it isn't going to change the ultimate fact.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to SimplyMe73)

Post #: 3

RE: BBW/Big & Tall, does it necessarily mean unhealthy - 9/2/2008 8:20:56 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
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quote:

Does everyone carry this same stereotypical attitude, even when it comes to men being Big & Tall?

No. However everyone does seem to have an opinion on this topic.

My personal opinion is that there are two basic reasons for obesity. There is obesity caused by medical conditions and then there is obesity because of bad eating, exercise habits.
The first is something that cannot be helped in general (not all cases admittedly). The second is personal choice. You want to over eat and not excercise be my guest. I'm a smoker slowly killing myself too so who am i to talk?

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to SimplyMe73)

Post #: 4

RE: BBW/Big & Tall, does it necessarily mean unhealthy - 9/2/2008 8:21:58 AM

hopelessfool

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Joined: 7/29/2005
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Eh, Im fat, yes, yes I am.... Do I have self control yes I do, I actually have to force myself to eat most days, I walk at least a mile a day or more, but I am still fat...

I also have very very strong legs, and some decent upper body strenght, Not much, I still have fat cover it.

Pretty much its a jerk who didnt get his way, and then decided to say something they think will be insulting and other wise hurt by the words. Senstive subjects like weight, and "realness" and other things that generally hit peoples insecurity button.

Its a form of emotional manipulation to try to make you feel as bad as they do because they were rejected.

_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 5

RE: BBW/Big & Tall, does it necessarily mean unhealthy - 9/2/2008 9:58:40 AM

rookey

Posts: 100
Status: offline

As Eric Hoffer once said, 'rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.' If said individual didn't like your profile he should have simply moved on.

(Edited because of spelling mistake, whoops.)

< Message edited by rookey -- 9/2/2008 9:59:42 AM >

_____________________________

(in reply to SimplyMe73)

Post #: 6

RE: BBW/Big & Tall, does it necessarily mean unhealthy - 9/2/2008 10:26:12 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

Eh, Im fat, yes, yes I am.... Do I have self control yes I do, I actually have to force myself to eat most days, I walk at least a mile a day or more, but I am still fat...

Firstly you don't look to me from your profile pics what i would class as fat or obese.
However i would say that if you are anything like me herein lies the problem. You have to force yourself to eat! I was like that, still probably am a little. My question here would be what are you eating when you do and what kind of times?
For me i didnt lose weight until i maintained a healthy diet three times a day and ate at appropriate times.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to hopelessfool)

Post #: 7

RE: BBW/Big & Tall, does it necessarily mean unhealthy - 9/2/2008 10:37:57 AM

Sanguinarian

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Joined: 8/13/2008
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I'm what my mother referred to as 'stout'. My legs and loower body are very muscular from kickboxing and my four hour a day workouts. So when someone makes the snide comment I am 'fat' I either ask if they are jealous, or put my foot in the gut of the offender. If I am not feeling violent ( which is actually more often the case!) my come back consists of something like. " If you are going to insult me, try harder. Try alot harder. "

Since the world is so focused on what they believe is beautiful on the outside, it seems that most of those who throw insults have no creative way of attacking someone, and thus, focus on sensitivities. Weight, height, coloration, and of course, sexual activities. It looks like a smoke screen to me, dunno about anyone else.

I've seen TONS of people who have been taunted about being unhealthy. The thing is, most of them are healthier than the one doing the taunting, either mentally, or physically.

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 8

RE: BBW/Big & Tall, does it necessarily mean unhealthy - 9/2/2008 11:13:13 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
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quote:

So when someone makes the snide comment I am 'fat' I either ask if they are jealous, or put my foot in the gut of the offender. If I am not feeling violent ( which is actually more often the case!)

Nice! Cos violence solves everything doesn't it! *rolls eyes*

quote:

it seems that most of those who throw insults have no creative way of attacking someone, and thus, focus on sensitivities

Just a small thought but if someone is BBW and quite happy that way why would they be sensitive about it?
Of course there are those with medical conditions who would quite obviously (possibly) be sensitive about it. Most i see posting here though are just big, beautiful and love being that way. So why take offense?
If you are obese and its not down to medical issues and you take offence, do something about it!

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to Sanguinarian)

Post #: 9

RE: BBW/Big & Tall, does it necessarily mean unhealthy - 9/2/2008 11:46:19 AM

CallaFirestormBW

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Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

The Obese Without Cardiometabolic Risk Factor Clustering and the Normal Weight With Cardiometabolic Risk Factor ClusteringPrevalence and Correlates of 2 Phenotypes Among the US Population (NHANES 1999-2004) Rachel P. Wildman, PhD; Paul Muntner, PhD; Kristi Reynolds, PhD; Aileen P. McGinn, PhD; Swapnil Rajpathak, MD, DrPH; Judith Wylie-Rosett, EdD; MaryFran R. Sowers, PhD
Arch Intern Med. 2008;168(15):1617-1624.

Short answer -- no. Being overweight does -not- necessarily mean that an individual is unhealthy. Being normal weight and having cardiometabolic risk factors (heart disease, hypertension, diabetes), however, leaves a person with almost exactly the same risk of death as an obese person with cardiometabolic risk factors. Clearly, it isn't obesity that is the issue, but the presence of metabolic and circulatory disease have a significant impact on overall survival. (If you can't get the article, email me on the other side and I can see if I can get it for you.)

CFB

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to SimplyMe73)

Post #: 10

RE: BBW/Big & Tall, does it necessarily mean unhealthy - 9/2/2008 12:07:41 PM

BKSir

Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline

I have to admit, one of my partners has a bit of a weight problem, not that it affects how I see him, in my eyes there is little in creation more beautiful. What gets to me is, yes, the health issue. Working as a chef and dietician for a long while, most of my life, has thankfully given me some insight into these things. I know he'll never ever be a 'small' or even 'average' person, his frame just isn't built like that. He'll always be 'bigger'. But, at his young age, it's already starting to effect his health. Things like, his legs, knees, hips and back. His blood pressure is fairly high also. However, he is working on it, as are the rest of the people in the household. Frankly, I'm hardly what one would call 'svelte' either. It's not about looks, it's about the fact that he's one of the most dear and wonderful people in the world, and I want to share my life with him, and vice versa, and I want that to be as long of a time as possible.

Conversely, my pet... so very very thin... That worries me just as much, for the same reasons. And, at the same time, again, has no bearing on how gorgeous I think he is.

That being said, no, it doesn't ALWAYS mean health issues. Often, and normally yes, but, there are always exceptions to the rule. For example, Mr. Brian Blessed. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Blessed
Hardly what anyone would call 'small', but, in amazing health. So, it really does have to be taken on an individual basis.

Your best bet is to look at yourself, check out what physical problems you may have, and consider "Could these be related to my weight?". If there are some, then look at what you could do to remedy them, possibly with the help of a doctor if need be. If there's not, then good on you. Continue to be beautiful inside, and let the blind ones say what they wish, then go back to their own little happy idiot-land.

_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

BiggKatt Studios

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 11

RE: BBW/Big & Tall, does it necessarily mean unhealthy - 9/2/2008 1:58:39 PM

bipolarber

Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline

OP, sounds like the guy emailing you was just out to be a mean little creep. Pay him no mind.

BBW is a preference. Same way some guys are into big breasts, or into ballerina body types. Or how some guys seem to have a fetish for a particular ethnicity, or girls who wear glasses (or not). Or goth girls, or girls who look like they are from Mayberry RFD. It is no more a plus or minus than any other body style.

As to the "unhealthy" angle.... well, maybe. If you are really overweight, you run a risk of high blood pressure, heart disease, and possibly diabetes. (All of which are things I've struggled with myself.) On the other hand, most of the women in my family have been pretty heavy, and my Grandmother lived to 105. So there really isn't a hard and fast measure as to how extra weight will effect your longevity.

Live the way that makes you happiest. I assure you, there is someone out there who would be happy with you, just the way you are. :)

(in reply to BKSir)

Post #: 12

RE: BBW/Big & Tall, does it necessarily mean unhealthy - 9/2/2008 4:16:04 PM

thornhappy

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Joined: 12/16/2006
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(fast reply)
A good friend of mine is trimmer than I, by a lot. However, he failed a stress test at 50 (I passed). I don't smoke and he did.

I'm working to become more fit (I'm strong but not aerobically fit) myself.

thornhappy

(in reply to bipolarber)

Post #: 13

RE: BBW/Big & Tall, does it necessarily mean unhealthy - 9/2/2008 4:44:00 PM

MrRodgers

Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
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Big Beautiful Woman is a BBW and all can be true..and be a pleasure.

As for the health issue two things take them for what they are worth.

1) It has been a proven medical fact, those living with the least body fat say under 10% and ideally I think for most, lower yet, say 3% to 6%...will live longer.

2) We ALL have a gene that causes the body to store fat and calories to survive and reproduce in the case of long periods of famine...ALL of us. Otherwise...we wouldn't be here. 'Overweight' people are often overweight simply because of their metabolic rate...some are because they over eat. That's it and you makes your choices.

Being 'overweight' (hi % of body fat) will however like many, many other physical/medical conditions very likely cause one to have a shorter life.

(in reply to thornhappy)

Post #: 14

RE: BBW/Big & Tall, does it necessarily mean unhealthy - 9/2/2008 4:46:45 PM

Aneirin

Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
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Although there is some evidence that some larger people are that way because of their lifestyle, that is not the reason for all. Discounting those with blameless medical conditions, there are others who are just plain larger than the norm, though they may be larger, they are just as healthy as someone who is not large. Size like appearance is not an indication of the person.

Maybe it is those that bare judgement on another's size are themselves of a smaller frame and anything different from themself, they bolstered with media see unhealth.

I once new a chap who was a scrawny thing, but his preference in women was the bigger the better, he finally ended up with a six foot five inch Scandiavian Helga, who was four times his width , and two foot taller, and a field labourer at that, she was not unhealthy by a very long shot.

_____________________________

Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

(in reply to thornhappy)

Post #: 15

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