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OK Mistress' My own backyard - 11/26/2005 9:23:51 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

LOL, ok here is a new one, out of the blue I get a message--from a sub in CM 2 days--"you should stick to finding subs in your local area"--snip snip--because otherwise you are engaging in cyber chat or encouraging long distance relationships---needless to say the BLOCK went up--but it makes one curious, I have gone through almost 200+ to find what I seek, I remember GoddessDustyGold telling Me last year to have patience--out of that 200+ I came close twice, and now well--it seems I may have indeed found the man/sub for Me-and yes he is several miles away---so we know that we are on this site to have a sense of community--but how many of you found your sub/slave out of your own backyard?

< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 11/26/2005 9:29:20 AM >

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RE: OK Mistress' My own backyard - 11/26/2005 10:21:35 AM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

Our first boy came from a local munch group (well, relatively local ... it was a 2 hour drive for us), but he officially lived over 3.5 hours away.

Our new boy is from our area. He followed me home from work

However, we went through many who were/are all over everywhere. From Armed Service boys who were stationed overseas, to the one that we collared from Seattle that didn't work out for us; from the East Coast to the West Coast, and a very very few from Europe (that weren't US Military stationed there), we tried everywhere. If you limit yourself to only your local area, you could very well miss out on someone fabulous.

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 2

RE: OK Mistress' My own backyard - 11/26/2005 10:22:35 AM

LadyJulieAnn

Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline

I met my sub on this site and he lives an hour away from me. I used to chat with subs in the UK, so I consider an hour away to be my backyard.

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 3

RE: OK Mistress' My own backyard - 11/26/2005 11:07:36 AM

jamesthehumanrug

Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline

greetings ,m who 3 13
even ,if it is a job;you have, to be willing, to travel ,or relocate ,to be successful.
i have never found anything, in my own backyard,if i did; it was ,always problems.you are obvioulsy talking,to a hick, from the hills; who don't know jack ,or is jelous ,or competitve,if you're ,in a movie;you have, to be available, spend payback-time ;hang ,around,and, be ,on the spot :ready ;willing,and,able,not outta'; town.outta' site; outta' mind.doms are ,not un- like producers ,and, directors;they like service ,and ,ready talent....
,in history:even slaves were imported!
shop ,around.good thing you're, not ,in her backyard.(obviously:ain't room ,enuff).

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 11/26/2005 11:09:28 AM >

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jamesthehumanrug

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Post #: 4

RE: OK Mistress' My own backyard - 11/26/2005 11:24:38 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I've met lots of folks on various sites, and I have made friendships that are still strong a decade later. I have had relationships, as well. I have also learned that it's a reeeeeeeeeely shallow pool out there, when your requirements are as narrow as mine!

Relocation is a problem----I cannot relocate. Maybe in another ten years, sure, but right now? Nope. Long distance things are not an issue for me, actually I tend to prefer them, but not everyone is satisfied with them.

I guess at my age, I am somewhat suspicious of another person my age who can just pull up stakes and moves. I used to joke that I wanted an independently wealthy orphan, but really, do I want someone that is essentially rootless?

Whoa.......rambling, sorry. It's been that kind of weekend! Anyway, the internet makes the world our backyard----why not make the most of it? As long as all parties are up front about what they are and are NOT willing to do, have fun and meet folks. You Never Know.

:)Francine, faux optimist

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RE: OK Mistress' My own backyard - 11/26/2005 11:45:40 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

It's funny, I work in international marketing and have for 5 years, My teen says the only border I know is the circumference of the earth--- I think nothing of hopping plane to go meet a team half way around the world--I feel the same about a relationship--after all did we learn nothing from Sleepless in Seattle? LOL--agreed the internet has indeed made the world smaller---how marvelous! Thanks!

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

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Post #: 6

RE: OK Mistress' My own backyard - 11/26/2005 12:40:12 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Fox started college and started attending the local campus BDSM organization munches and workshops -- I wasn't going half the time cause I had German classes but my slave at that time and my submissive (yes, two different people) and my spouse and my friends met him and convinced me to just come meet him.

Since moving here in summer 1997, all but 2 people I've scened with have been locals -- the other two were within 3 hours drive.

In NYC folks could travel further via the trains but still it was mostly from one of the five boroughs (?spelling?).

The one cyber relationship I ever did was very long distance and later that gentleman came for a visit for a week but the long distance thing didn't do enough for me so we're just friends. Now if he ever move from Canada to my state I have a collar I'm happy to put on him.

I've also discovered that when I'm not looking and happiest, I'm more likely to find compatible partners.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 7

RE: OK Mistress' My own backyard - 11/26/2005 1:53:52 PM

WildSpirit2001

Posts: 143
Joined: 8/30/2005
From: Colorado
Status: offline

I met my slave in a chatroom I had created on AOL, he had recently relocated to Colorado (my home state) from Ohio and I was in Seattle, for work. I suggested he get involved in the local BDSM community and that once I was able to return perhaps we'd meet ... that was approx 6 years ago. After an off and on (is it on and off or off and on????) play relationship over the next 6ish years I offered him my collar in the form of a permanent mark July 2, 2005. So he WAS in my backyard, technically, however I was not.

Live, Love, Laugh
Proudly in Leather,
Paula

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 8

RE: OK Mistress' My own backyard - 11/26/2005 1:54:03 PM

Beatmehrdr

Posts: 61
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline

I don't know why as a sub he is so concerned that you should find subs in your own area, but here is my $.02. If I am going to serve a Domme on an ongoing basis, distance is an issue for me. Staying overnight is an impossibility for me right now, so if I go to see her, spend time doing some task or other to make her happy, and play afterward if I do a good job(or maybe during), then traveling 3 hours to visit her, and traveling 3 hours back isn't going to work. She needs to be two hours or less away by necessity, esp if it is going to be an ongoing thing. Even if I'm not looking for an LTR, I still want to devote time to making her happy so I can earn the privilege of being beaten until I cry like a little girl, and long distance puts a big crimp in that.

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 9

RE: OK Mistress' My own backyard - 11/26/2005 2:45:15 PM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

I've never had luck locally, though I'm narrowing in it seems. My husband was from another country. I moved there, we married, he changed his mind, we divorced and I moved back here. My next serious boyfriend was from the other side of Canada, where I am. So, at least I'm getting closer. :)

I would not be too eager for long distance again. It was too hard, too lonely.

(in reply to Beatmehrdr)

Post #: 10

RE: OK Mistress' My own backyard - 11/26/2005 6:04:13 PM

veronicaofML

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline

for what it matters Ma'am? i am from iowa and i am here in wisconsin now...before this, i was in calif...so neither was close by. let's not even go into the 10,000 miles i have driven looking .....

happy holidays

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(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 11

RE: OK Mistress' My own backyard - 11/26/2005 8:05:30 PM

FTopinMichigan

Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314
how many of you found your sub/slave out of your own backyard?

I used to run a BDSM oriented 'singles' group in metro Detroit. Potential members were personally interviewed, when the group was first formed. Several of us got together to meet, and talk about the group, and it came out that one man actually lived in my "area." We chatted about different hot spots in the area, and then he offered the street he used to live on. One of the women then recognized the street name...saying, "I have a friend on that street too"...of course meaning...ME! (I hesitated to offer where I lived, right out, in that I never met the man before this time.) I was a bit surprised that I didn't know him, because when I didn't live on the street, I always had family there.

Turns out he lived across the street from me for a few years, when he was married, but we both were not actively involved in our BDSM interests. But we found it's a small world, and the boy next door...just may REALLY be the "boy" next door.

The sort of creepy part is that I've seen in driving by my home now, and there's no reason for him to be in the area. We were never personally involved with one another, but see one another from time to time, at events. Still a little creepy and sometimes "close to home" is TOO close to home.

Another man, that I noticed on CM, was from an area near me, and because we both "saw" each other listed hear, we noticed one another at a munch (after some chat and realizing who each other was). Because we were both here on CM, and lived so near one another, offered an opening for us to consider pursuing getting to know one another. Turns out that we live only a few city blocks away from one another. Things didn't work out for us, but in spite of the passion not being there, I think we'll remain friends. He's a good guy and I'm glad he's a neighbor. The proximity and sharing the interest, as well as being listed here, helped to bring us together.

I ONLY seek to engage with locals, as I've found out of towners are only seeking casual encounters, easy sex, and most are married. I don't even open emails from those that aren't local, and I have no interest in those that offer they are willing to relocate blindly. (I do open e-mail form Forum posters though.

)

Finding someone local is a bit easier too, as it helps that I'm located in a large metropolitan city. Now...finding that special ONE is a bit more difficult.

K

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 12

RE: OK Mistress' My own backyard - 11/26/2005 11:40:15 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

I have kept up a bi-coastal relationship with someone I care for deeply for over five years now. But that's not what I want for my sub. For my sub, I want someone close enough that he's available to me for whenever the spirit moves me. I'm very pleased with my sub, but I have to say I think the overall quality of subs I have met in the SF Bay Area has been high, so limiting my search to local prospects has not been a hardship.

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~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

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Post #: 13

RE: OK Mistress' My own backyard - 11/27/2005 7:28:15 AM

AuroraSilk

Posts: 14
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FTopinMichigan

The proximity and sharing the interest, as well as being listed here, helped to bring us together.
I ONLY seek to engage with locals, as I've found out of towners are only seeking casual encounters, easy sex, and most are married. I don't even open emails from those that aren't local, and I have no interest in those that offer they are willing to relocate blindly. (I do open e-mail form Forum posters though. )

Finding someone local is a bit easier too, as it helps that I'm located in a large metropolitan city. Now...finding that special ONE is a bit more difficult.

K

I totally agree with FT Top! I've tried the long-distance thing in vanilla and in BDSM relationships. For me, I need to be able to see and touch the person on a regular basis. Also, to get a better feel of someones character and personality, you need to see them often. I think with long-distance relationships, when you finally see the person after weeks and months of chatting, you tend to forget the arguements and the bad things, because you are glad to see them. What makes me made though is that even though I put local men only in my profile, I STILL get asshats sending me messages from Holland and other countries. What gives?! lol

A.S.

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)

Post #: 14

RE: OK Mistress' My own backyard - 11/27/2005 9:44:47 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

LOL yes AuroraSilk, I get the internationals too, looking for a ticket to the US--smiles

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Post #: 15

RE: OK Mistress' My own backyard - 11/27/2005 10:23:10 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I used to get heaps of foreigners........I have my bulk mail screened for "other countries", but I still have to check the darned thing, because of Canada! (I am closer to Canada than any of the other states)

Today I was cruising the other site that I am on, and found that a charming person from Minneapolis had looked at me. Feh.

:)Francine

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[page 23 girl]

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RE: OK Mistress' My own backyard - 11/27/2005 11:59:47 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314
and now well--it seems I may have indeed found the man/sub for Me-and yes he is several miles away---so we know that we are on this site to have a sense of community--but how many of you found your sub/slave out of your own backyard?

One of the first guys I met on collarme actually lived 3 blocks away from me. We met, we hit it off amazingly… as friends. In fact today he is one of my very close friends but there is absolutely no chemistry between us on any intimate or sexual level. I’ve met a few others in my area (not necessarily on collarme) and some did turn into relationships which were great while they lasted but not sustainable for the long haul.

Now if you do a search for stuff I’ve written in the past about long distance relationships, you’ll see that I’ve advised against them and even vowed I’d never be in one again. But something, or someone rather, changed my mind significantly about 3-4 months ago…

The thing is, I’m not particularly attracted to self-identified “submissives”. In fact, many of my relationships have been with men that I’ve introduced to WIITWD. I’m actually attracted to socially dominant, virile and strong men who would not submit to absolutely anyone else on this planet but me. And trust me they are one in a million. But on top of that, it takes many more affinities such as common ideology, common interests, common philosophy and physical attraction to name a few.

I realised that every criterion I added narrowed down my choices but I refused to compromise what I wanted. I was prepared to be alone rather then with the wrong person. And I’m glad I held out because I found someone who was a perfect fit to my needs, right here on collarme. And luckily for me, I was a perfect fit to his. The thing is that he is 3000 miles away. But I am absolutely not going to let him get away!

So we both have had to demonstrate quite a bit of faith, patience, courage and trust to get this far. I know that our relationship will be stronger for it. The most important thing we had to discuss early on was, if this thing really works out like we both believe in our hearts it will, what is our plan to be physically closer. We worked out that plan early on and that was very important otherwise it’s all very good to find your soul mate across the globe but a long term long distance relationship will cause you much loneliness and heartache in the long run.

So I guess in the end is it’s important to determine what you are willing or not willing to do/give/take in your search for a match for you. And if anyone else disapproves, well… how can I say this Lady-like… tell them to take a long walk off a short dock ;-)

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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Post #: 17

RE: OK Mistress' My own backyard - 11/27/2005 12:29:52 PM

Elegant

Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline

Master Archer and I met almost 8 years ago, in person and not via the internet. Unfortunatly we lived 90 miles apart at the time and both had active lives and home and work situations that prevented either of us from moving to the other at the time. That did not stop us from exploring a relationship but our relationship was never 'cyber'. Heck, we sledom even used email or the phone to communicate. Our life together was limited to alternating weekends for a long time but I was still his slave 24/7.

Then I moved halfway across the country to Atlanta and he remained in Dallas..for a while. I visited twice and he visited twice and we spke on the phone often. A year later he moved to Atlanta and we have now been together in person for 4 years.

_____________________________

Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

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Post #: 18

RE: OK Mistress' My own backyard - 11/27/2005 12:50:41 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant
... we have now been together in person for 4 years.

Yay! I love when I hear of 2 people sticking it through and making it work. You have no idea how much hope and strength it gives me. Thanks :)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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Post #: 19

RE: OK Mistress' My own backyard - 11/27/2005 1:35:08 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

WOOHOO, everyone take notice, wishes do come true, roses and champagne to you both--

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SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

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