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Is this right for me? - 11/26/2005 10:27:25 AM

JenaM

Posts: 4
Joined: 11/25/2005
Status: offline

Hi i only joined yesterday, i'm a naturally submissive female, but how do i know if this is truly the life that i need and want.
I want someone to please and give pleasure to, i want someone to care, protect, praise, pleasure and punish me. But is it right for me?

How do i tell? I'm confused and have only talked to a couple of Doms who have been helpful but i need to know and understand from this side of the fence.

Jena

Post #: 1

RE: Is this right for me? - 11/26/2005 10:58:43 AM

girl4you2

Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline

Jena,
since you are new to this, it might be a good idea to read all you can (here and otherwise on all topics, including safety precautions), think carefully about what it is that motivates you and why, and feel deep in your heart if this is truly what you want. nobody can tell you this but you. after you feel you know a little, having read and searched inside you, when and if you are ready to venture forward, read up on safety precautions again and use them.

i wish you well, and you will surely get some excellent advise both in former posts (use the search feature) and in current ones.

< Message edited by girl4you2 -- 11/26/2005 10:59:06 AM >

_____________________________

maireann croí éadrom i bhfad. is maith an scáthán súil charad. is leor nod don eolach.
got shoes?

(in reply to JenaM)

Post #: 2

RE: Is this right for me? - 11/26/2005 10:59:11 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

Hi and welcome to CM and to the L/life--I am going to suggest you invest some time reading--get JohnWarrens book the Loving Dominant--it is a timeless classic in the basics and D/dynamics of the L/life--and visit www.castlerealm.com--this is a very good Male Dom/female sub site---that will at least arm you with knowledge--then I suggest you look deep inside to define what it is that drives you, why do you feel this way? and review the message boards here, it is a perfect place to go----hmm dont want that, hmmm like that--and remember in your search, you are not obligated to anyone beyond our basic human respect AND you are to be respected as well--and as soon as you get someone who you feel uncomfortable with--say NO and move on---and above all be true to yourself and patient---

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to JenaM)

Post #: 3

RE: Is this right for me? - 11/26/2005 10:59:43 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

You tell by experimenting, learning, exploring, trial and error and seeing what resonates for you.

No one but you can tell you what works for you (although all those nice "helpful" doms will certainly do their best to figure it all out for you).

My advice- do not become committed to anyone for at least 6 months.

(in reply to JenaM)

Post #: 4

RE: Is this right for me? - 11/26/2005 11:13:07 AM

ginawithaB

Posts: 141
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

You tell by experimenting, learning, exploring, trial and error and seeing what resonates for you.

No one but you can tell you what works for you (although all those nice "helpful" doms will certainly do their best to figure it all out for you).

My advice- do not become committed to anyone for at least 6 months.

As always, you offer sound advice. Would you say a bit more about what you mean by "committed." Also, why do you recommend a 6-month wait? I have heard this advice before and have heard at least one domme talk about dating a potential for at least 3mos before making a decision to commence training. If you could elucidate a bit more, it would be helpful.

gina

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 5

RE: Is this right for me? - 11/26/2005 11:25:02 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ginawithaBWould you say a bit more about what you mean by "committed."

I mean any sort of actual commitment to a relationship- anything beyond just casual dating and playing. Anything that leads to expectations.

quote:

Also, why do you recommend a 6-month wait?

It's an arbitrary number actually. By six months, a sub should be through the first frenzy stages and be on their way to getting some actual perspective on things.

Just to note- I have yet to know a single new female sub to ever follow that advice.

(in reply to ginawithaB)

Post #: 6

RE: Is this right for me? - 11/26/2005 11:35:49 AM

Lepidoptera

Posts: 161
Joined: 4/14/2005
Status: offline

There's a huge range of Dom's out there. My current Dom is actually not very dom compared to a lot of men out there. At this point in my life, he's perfect. In the past, I wanted more, maybe in the future I will too- but as a lifestyle, it's incredibly diverse.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 7

RE: Is this right for me? - 11/26/2005 11:50:36 AM

ginawithaB

Posts: 141
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Just to note- I have yet to know a single new female sub to ever follow that advice.

Certainly seems to be the case with new femsubs here on cm.

Maybe I'll be the first.

Thanks for clarifying.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 8

RE: Is this right for me? - 11/26/2005 11:50:51 AM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

nah we don't follow but we should

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 9

RE: Is this right for me? - 11/26/2005 12:00:22 PM

slavedesires

Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline

find several submissive woman you trust and ask them all the questions you need to...

and i DO agree with Lucky Albatross tis why i give my advice and opinion to contact submissive women... she said
"You tell by experimenting, learning, exploring, trial and error and seeing what resonates for you.

No one but you can tell you what works for you (although all those nice "helpful" doms will certainly do their best to figure it all out for you)."

_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

(in reply to JenaM)

Post #: 10

RE: Is this right for me? - 11/26/2005 12:35:42 PM

happypervert

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline

You ask "how do I know if THIS is truly the life that i need and want?" as if there is some hard and fast definition for what "this" is. There isn't. But for some reason or other you're here and it probably wasn't an accident whle shopping for pet supplies. My guess is if you find someone who is compatible with you then you'll know it; however, you'll probably also encounter plenty who are obviously wrong for you and may mistakenly conclude that "this" isn't for you instead of realizing that it is just them.

_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to JenaM)

Post #: 11

RE: Is this right for me? - 11/26/2005 2:42:22 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

quote:

Hi i only joined yesterday, i'm a naturally submissive female, but how do i know if this is truly the life that i need and want.

How did you first get introduced to the thought of Master/slave relationships?

(in reply to JenaM)

Post #: 12

RE: Is this right for me? - 11/26/2005 4:53:04 PM

mossy

Posts: 189
Joined: 2/21/2005
Status: offline

JenaM...welcome...

..i would say you're off to a great start, no matter what the outcome. First of all you are being openminded enough to explore,,,which is much more then i can say for so many people in this world. That includes myself.....for it took me from 13-39 to come around!!!

So first consider yourself brave and openminded and be proud of yourself, to start!
Then just go slowly. There is no rush, even though usually in the beginning many feel an overwhelming urge to discover All. Time will tell you who and what you are, all you can do is be patient for it is as any process. There are levels and steps. Take your time and most of all be patient with yourself. Self discovery is a life long process. Don't forget to have fun, make friends, you were wise to ask other women/submissives/slaves what they thought. They can be your strongest allies. But people in bdsm are like others in all walks of life,,,some can be trusted some not, some have problems some don't have that many,,,and some are very opinionated some not,,,we are all people. So as others have said, be cautious, some are selfish, may not have your best interest at heart, you will have to be able to tell the difference. Best wishes, this is an incredible Lifestyle,,,,the world for me? without? would be a world without any sound or color

Yet the way i first came in ten years ago? Is most certainly Not who i am today...LOL...thank goodness.

_____________________________

~~inner peace & mental clarity~~

(in reply to JenaM)

Post #: 13

RE: Is this right for me? - 11/27/2005 10:12:54 AM

JenaM

Posts: 4
Joined: 11/25/2005
Status: offline

I didn't really get introduced to it...i hunted for what felt right and here i am.
I struggle to find the right way to actually say what drew me here to get you to understand why i am here, why i ask if this is right for me.
I spent 2 hours talking to someone from here last night and she helped me to sort myself out enough to know what i want...I don't feel like an outcast here, i feel at home, i finally understand why previous relationships didn't work...
I'm hoping you all will help me break through what i was raised to believe and help me to find what i need

Jena

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 14

RE: Is this right for me? - 11/27/2005 11:29:09 AM

FTopinMichigan

Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JenaM

Hi i only joined yesterday, i'm a naturally submissive female, but how do i know if this is truly the life that i need and want.
I want someone to please and give pleasure to, i want someone to care, protect, praise, pleasure and punish me. But is it right for me?

How do i tell? I'm confused and have only talked to a couple of Doms who have been helpful but i need to know and understand from this side of the fence.

Jena

Jena, from your profile, it clearly shows that you already have a "Master." Is this not something you should talk over with him?

K

(in reply to JenaM)

Post #: 15

RE: Is this right for me? - 11/28/2005 7:24:19 AM

Sabella

Posts: 265
Joined: 7/26/2005
Status: offline

Her "Master & looking for gals to talk with" was probably good advice well taken from a more experienced person on here.

As a new female & sub you know she is getting swamped with the zillion of I'M UR DADDY! e'mails *snorts*

OP - Read, ask, enjoy :) I agree patience during this learning phase will be your best tool in the long run. 'Ware the idiots who will attempt to tell you "you're not doing it right" there is no "right".

Be well!

_____________________________

“The giant Grof was hit in one eye by a stone,
and that eye turned inward so that it looked into his mind and he died of what he saw there.”
From The Forgotten Beasts of Eld, by Patricia A. McKillip

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)

Post #: 16

RE: Is this right for me? - 11/28/2005 1:58:32 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

Welcome to the boards JenaM only you can tell yourself it it is a fit for you. Like others said do some research and read. read, read. Also you can ask on the boards if you cannot find an answewr you are looking for. Someone has been through it. We were all new once. Best of luck.

littleone

(in reply to JenaM)

Post #: 17

RE: Is this right for me? - 11/28/2005 2:26:35 PM

veronicaofML

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline

JenaM
==========
best wishes.......
happy holidays to you.

tried the link..it works,,,,,and nothing listed for wisconsin.

< Message edited by veronicaofML -- 11/28/2005 2:29:53 PM >

(in reply to JenaM)

Post #: 18

RE: Is this right for me? - 11/29/2005 10:39:37 AM

liltwisted1

Posts: 7
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline

Hi jena,

The answer you seek lays deep inside yourself. Finding that answer is relatively easy, compared to what lays ahead. If you’re still inexplicably drawn to this realm after research, trial and error, etc., then yes, you’re in the right place. In truth, were it not for my peers here, I would have never made it through this first stage, my eyes opening to what’s ahead. It’s not easy, no one ever said it would be. Wishing you all the best.

liltwisted1

(in reply to veronicaofML)

Post #: 19

RE: Is this right for me? - 11/29/2005 10:43:05 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Sigh sadly another lost hopeful. Jena seems to have found her master and decided that this IS right for her.

No one ever waits the 6 months.

(in reply to JenaM)

Post #: 20

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