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Understanding "Humble" & "Prideful" - 9/3/2008 6:24:56 AM   
TwilightShadows


Posts: 68
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: twilight
Status: offline 		I wanted to ask the Dominants here if they would kindly help me to understand the meaning of  "humble" and "prideful" as it pertains to a submissive or slave.

And...is having an opinion at all considered "prideful?"  I don't think I fully grasp the meanings of this words...

Thank you for any comments.
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RE: Understanding "Humble" & "Prideful&q... - 9/3/2008 6:30:54 AM   
Tetron


Posts: 48
Joined: 6/16/2006
Status: offline 		Well humble in this context I believe referes to a submissive who acccepts her orders without question, and who serves without asking for reward. It is a mindset of faithful service without need for reasureance. Prideful in this instance I believe is a reference to a submissives adamant belief that she knows better then her dominant on something. For instance a slave disageering with a dominant about some aspect of training not because she doesnt want to but because she doesnt think it will work. Having an opinion is not prideful attempting to force such an opinion on the dominant I believe would be considered so. 

(in reply to TwilightShadows)
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RE: Understanding "Humble" & "Prideful&q... - 9/3/2008 6:43:38 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Your question concerns me.If this man actually refuses to allow you to express yourself, that could be the first step towards an abusive relationship.

I expect my submissive to have input.  Since I'm the Dom, it's my job to determine what to do with the input.

Someone who is too insecure to allow someone else to ever speak up.... red flag to me.

Assuming that the communication is respectful, I think it's healthy and vital.  You WILL have opinions, expressed or not - he's just telling you to stifle yourself.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Understanding "Humble" & "Prideful&q... - 9/3/2008 7:01:58 AM   
TwilightShadows


Posts: 68
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: twilight
Status: offline 		Not to worry, Dark Steven.  No one has told me I'm not to have an opinion.  There are just some things I don't think I fully grasp.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: Understanding "Humble" & "Prideful&q... - 9/3/2008 9:42:25 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Tetron, is it prideful if she is more knowledgable? If she's a CPA and he's an artist, then refusing when ordered to fill out her taxes incorrectly isn't being prideful, it's being smart. Refusing to fill his out incorrectly isn't being prideful, it's caring enough to save him thousands in penalties.

There are times when a sub should say no. A smart dom, knowing how rare this is, will pay attention and agree to research it more deeply rather than assume she's withdrawing power for no reason.

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RE: Understanding "Humble" & "Prideful&q... - 9/3/2008 4:14:31 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TwilightShadows
I wanted to ask the Dominants here if they would kindly help me to understand the meaning of  "humble" and "prideful" as it pertains to a submissive or slave.

And...is having an opinion at all considered "prideful?"  I don't think I fully grasp the meanings of this words...

Thank you for any comments.

I don't think it matters much the orientation of the person.

Having an opinion is a fact of life.  You think you can order someone not to care about music, color, smell, touch?  Should slaves no longer have opinions about being a slave?

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Understanding "Humble" & "Prideful&q... - 9/3/2008 4:38:07 PM   
DomDolf


Posts: 363
Joined: 7/11/2008
Status: offline 		As someone stated on another thread. The attitude shown when expressing yourself determines how it will be interpreted by others. You can be humble while expressing your opinion. You can also be bratty or demanding while expressing your opinion. Prideful, in the context I believe you are using it, is defined as having or showing arrogant superiority to and disdain of those one views as unworthy.

If a submissive comes across as prideful, in the context defined above, then I will feel they are not in their place and are being disrespectful in showing that attitude.

Dolf

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Understanding "Humble" & "Prideful&q... - 9/3/2008 5:39:48 PM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		A sub can act "humble" yet have very little true humility; always trying to maneuver things and acting in a certain way just to get what they want.  I expect my subs to take pride in certain things - such as keeping their appearance nice, in the tasks that they are doing for me, etc., yet it would be "prideful" to think that they were then in charge of me because they followed a few of my wishes.  I never tell them not to have their own opinions; that is what adds flavor to any relationship.  However, I do expect that their opinions will be shared with me with a manner of respect.

Pridefulness might be shown in ways that you wouldn't normally think about - such as feeling that a command is beneath you, insisting on "back seat" driving, or even acting like you are better than an outsider.  It certainly doesn't mean that you should never have an opinion, but you might want to be careful about how you express it.  Saying something like, "Look what I did for you today!" and beaming with pride is a lot different than, "I did this for you and all I could think is that I'm sure your last sub couldn't do it half as well."  Prefacing a statement with, "I respectfully disagree" and then explaining why if the situation warrants it is much easier on a relationship than just calling someone a jackass for their beliefs - whether they are well founded or not.

Whether I am wearing my Domme hat or my slave collar, I am not a perfect person.  (And I try so hard to be!  LOL)  If I am making an incorrect statement I appreciate it when someone corrects me.  I have seen my Master do some humble things for me - such as getting me a drink when he realized that I had only poured one for Him - and it made me appreciate Him all the more.  Humility isn't only for the subs, but can be a very powerful tool in building trust when used by a Dom/me. 


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RE: Understanding "Humble" & "Prideful&q... - 9/4/2008 6:47:38 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TwilightShadows

I wanted to ask the Dominants here if they would kindly help me to understand the meaning of  "humble" and "prideful" as it pertains to a submissive or slave.

And...is having an opinion at all considered "prideful?"  I don't think I fully grasp the meanings of this words...



Within the context of Keeper/slave, if the slave is not humble, his pride will breed disobedience. However, pride can also breed loyalty and devotion. *shrug, it depends on the person and his motivations.



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m y s p a c e


(in reply to TwilightShadows)
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RE: Understanding "Humble" & "Prideful&q... - 9/4/2008 8:00:05 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TwilightShadows

I wanted to ask the Dominants here if they would kindly help me to understand the meaning of  "humble" and "prideful" as it pertains to a submissive or slave.


The two can go hand in hand.  I took pride in seeing my former Master's pleasure and satisfaction.  I was humbled by his greatness.  I was proud of my place with him, but not taking it for granted made me humble.

As for having an opinion being prideful...I suppose it depends on what that opinion is and how it is expressed.     Whether prideful is good or bad is also subject to context.

(in reply to TwilightShadows)
Profile   Post #: 10
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