RE: Very confused about what to do

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lally3 -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 3:49:03 PM)
i think you need to think about this outside of the box you are in. ive read through everyones excellent advice, and your defending him every time. either you believe what he is telling you or you have some reasonable doubt. if you have any doubt at this stage then chances are your gut instincts are telling you to be careful. at best he sounds like someone who has been less than honest and got caught out - at worst he sounds like someone who has been less than honest, got caught out, has a major problem with committment is irresponsible and cant hold a relationship together, plays the numbers game in the hope of striking it lucky eventually and relies on cyberland to snag his prey. i would be seriously wondering why he hasnt spoken on the phone to you yet, after months of correspondence - like someone said, its easy enough to type stuff out, but if he isnt genuine then those words wont come so easily out of his mouth and if he isnt D it will become immediately apparent the moment you start talking. youre questioning this, which is usually the first step in walking away. stepping away will leave you empty for a bit, but someone better will come along eventually, you have to get a bit picky is all. take care and good luck

soul2share -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 3:52:56 PM)
Obviously, since your posting the questions, you already have doubts. And reading what he sent to you.....I'm seeing red flags aaaaaalllll over the place. Personally, this guy has way to many issues going on, and way to much baggage......move on, don't respond to his e-mails anymore.......and for heaven's sake, DON'T meet him unless you reaaaallllly want trouble in your life.

impishlilhellcat -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 4:08:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedheadedWoman quote: ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW quote: ORIGINAL: RedheadedWoman Part of what he wrote in his first email to me was quote: What I am looking for is at once very simple and extremely complicated. I want a slave who finds her greatest pleasure in pleasing me. As you might imagine, that is not as simple as it sounds. To further the complexity, the woman I take (and own, and cherish) will also be attractive (though not necessarily by conventional standards), vibrant, intelligent, creative, open-minded, fun-loving, self-aware, and masochistic. she will be eager to be trained to serve me and passionate about being the best slave I could possibly own. she will want intensely to belong to me and will have very few limits in how she shows it. Is that what you mean by the "real slave" card? rhw No, the "real slave" card is the one that goes "Oh, yeah, I've had all these slaves, but they weren't REAL slaves because xyz happened and they turned out to be posers/losers/fakers/wannabes and they screwed me over and left." Nothing is -ever- his fault, and the supposed slaves he has all screw him over for NO REASON, and if he could just find the perfect "real slave" everything would be all roses for them... -that- is the "real slave" card. CFB Oh. No he didnt say that. Hes said that hes made a lot of mistakes but learned from them The women who are angry at him are angry because he didnt choose them and two of them are crazy. I mean he says (and the former or is she current slave says too) that the two of them are crazy. But one of them goes back 5 years to the whole 2003 5-woman thing and the other i dont know about but he admits he owes her the money. rhw quote: The women who are angry at him are angry because he didnt choose them and two of them are crazy. That didn't make you step back just a little and think?? I mean yes, we all have good relationships and ones that turned out bad, but even the person that hurt me most in this world I wouldn't bad mouth him to another man. It takes two to participate in a relationship he was a willing participant. As far as the law goes and having to repay money... the other woman would have had to have some sort of proof that he did so even if it was circumstantial. The prosecutor can drop a can anytime they see fit there are plenty of rape and abuse cases that get dropped for many different reasons. He's just feeding you a big pile of crap and it sounds like you are eating it up

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 4:09:07 PM)
You don't trust him enough to give him your phone number but you've allowed yourself to get this emotionally involved?

E2Sweet -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 4:16:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedheadedWoman Wow. Writing this all down in one place makes it sound really crazy but really its all true or i mean that its all true about what hes written me anyway. So do i take a chance on him or is this all too much? I think you've actually already answered your own question. [;)]

OttersSwim -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 4:21:20 PM)
Think to your personal safety first, the integrity of your life second, and the desire to submit waaaayyyydown at like number 69. Surround yourself with people who bring you energy, not take it. Even if he is not a psycho, it sounds like his life is too out of control for him to properly and safely control yours. Hope that helps! :)

kiwisub12 -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 4:32:31 PM)
quick thread hijack - love the sig. OttersSwim.[:D]

Daddyssweetpea -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 4:40:40 PM)
Run! Way too many red flags here.

PrincessJ77 -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 4:43:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kiwisub12 quick thread hijack - love the sig. OttersSwim.[:D] I said the same thing. Wish I was a top. Back to the OP. I had been emailing someone from here who seemed so wonderfully compatible. Loved the combination of sadism & intelligence. When I joined a different site, he was there also. But there was a woman who had him listed on her profile (Pet of ...) I had questioned him prior to IM'ing that he was in no way involved with anyone. After I mentioned her profile & posting, he always had an excuse. He hasn't replied in over 2 weeks after a "Moral Dilemma" I posted. Methinks he's afraid I'll message the other submissive who appears to belong to him. Think with the brain the goddess gave you above your shoulders. Get away while you can. Block, ignore change your email...

persephonee -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 4:52:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tychtyp I think you should meet this guy. Don't tell anyone, though. Now that was just cruel....where are you again??

azropedntied -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 4:57:52 PM)
do not open the big red door any further , slam it shut lock it dead bolt it , bar it , chain lock it , post a guard dog with rabies .. now move on as there is no reason to make due with what is in front of you . Listen to whats been written by him and your helpful community "not the meet him comment " ooh yeah take off the rose colored glasses they are not working in this case . If he wants an answer do like already said and say " our needs are not compatible " wish him well and buubye ..

CalifChick -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 4:58:16 PM)
By the way, the whole "victims of crime" law changes crap he emailed you is... well... crap. How do you end it? You say, "I don't think we're compatible, I'm taking my life in another direction, been nice chatting with you, see ya." And you STOP responding to his emails. You don't try to explain yourself, you don't say it "just one more time, then he'll understand". "Crazy" never ever understands. I don't care if he calls you his FloofyDoofyWoofyLambChop, just STOP. Cali

OttersSwim -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 4:58:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PrincessJ77 quote: ORIGINAL: kiwisub12 quick thread hijack - love the sig. OttersSwim.[:D] I said the same thing. Wish I was a top. :) Thank you. I am very drawn to the rope. I cannot wait for my first tie. :)

blacksword404 -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 4:59:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedheadedWoman ive been mailing back and forth with a guy from here for about a month now and while i liked a lot of what he said to me some (a lot) of it is weirding me out. He's sent me tons of information about his past and boy oh boy is there a past. There was a 20-year marriage and then 5 women who he was seeing all at the same time who didnt know about each other but then found out when one of them broke into his account and let them all know about each other. One of the 5 he's been seeing off and on for the last 5 years although there also seems to be two years missing in his history as much as ive been able to figure it all out. And then most recently there was that same woman plus another woman who lent him a bunch of money (he says that she kind of forced the money on him) and then went to the police about him stealing the money (he moved to Canada after breaking up with her but im not sure whether he told her or not) but also with a fake story of abuse and a third woman that he got pregnant twice and kicked him out after her second miscarriage. And even though he cheated on the one woman hes been seeing off and on a bunch of times shes still involved with him. And he calls them all slaves even the ones going back to when he was in college (hes 51 now). No this isnt Jerry Springer or some weird soap opera. Honestly this is all stuff that he told me and im probably leaving stuff out! He also started talking about "fucking your three pussies" about 5 days after we started talking which really icked me out. But a lot of the stuff that hes written to me is really romantic and ever since i got upset about that email hes been mostly a gentleman in everything hes written. So i really dont know what to do. Hes acted like he knew me from the beginning kind of (i mean in a good way) and wanted me a lot and that sounded great until i started thinking that he didnt really know that much about me (we've never talked on the phone or even IMed) and so who is it that hes wanting? Wow. Writing this all down in one place makes it sound really crazy but really its all true or i mean that its all true about what hes written me anyway. So do i take a chance on him or is this all too much? Help?!? rhw Damn he's 51 and pulling this shit. He sure had a full life. People can change and not repeat mistakes of the past but going by what you say it doesnt seem he has changed any. His life seems full of drama. You got to ask yourself one question. Do you want some drama? Well do ya punk? lol

cerina -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 5:10:21 PM)
I'm not much of a "poster" but here goes.... Your post caught my attention. I read it. I already lived it too. Almost word for word. Years have gone by now and I can think clearly again about what really happened. Here is what I can share with you. He cannot think beyond himself. Every move he makes and every word he utters is strictly in his own best interest. He has used up the others and is now seeking a new victim. Congratulations, you're it. Change your phone number, your address, and block the email. It's the only way out. Get offline and keep as busy as possible until your head clears and you can see him for who and what he really is. Months or years from now you'll thank yourself. just my 2 cents.

secretsub1957 -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 5:20:45 PM)
In my vast experience,what another woman says happened will happen to you,if you dont pay attention. It is best to realize that she really might be telling the truth and protect yourself. Do not tell this guy where you live or any info. You might see if he is wanted by the police, you might find out the truth there.

BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 5:29:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedheadedWoman Part of what he wrote in his first email to me was quote: What I am looking for is at once very simple and extremely complicated. I want a slave who finds her greatest pleasure in pleasing me. As you might imagine, that is not as simple as it sounds. To further the complexity, the woman I take (and own, and cherish) will also be attractive (though not necessarily by conventional standards), vibrant, intelligent, creative, open-minded, fun-loving, self-aware, and masochistic. she will be eager to be trained to serve me and passionate about being the best slave I could possibly own. she will want intensely to belong to me and will have very few limits in how she shows it. I think this is a pretty standard description of what many dominants are looking for, and if you're new to all of this, I'm sure it made your tummy flutter. Guess what? He isn't the only guy out there looking for that woman. Ask yourself if this was just a regular vanilla dating site and you were just a regular vanilla chick looking for a regular vanilla dude, would you even consider someone that has that much drama in their lives? If a close friend or relative came to you and told you about some guy they had met online who had shared everything this guy has shared with you...... what would you tell them? You already know the answers to your questions.

mistoferin -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 5:32:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedheadedWoman ive been mailing back and forth with a guy from here for about a month now and while i liked a lot of what he said to me some (a lot) of it is weirding me out. He's sent me tons of information about his past and boy oh boy is there a past. There was a 20-year marriage and then 5 women who he was seeing all at the same time who didnt know about each other but then found out when one of them broke into his account and let them all know about each other. One of the 5 he's been seeing off and on for the last 5 years although there also seems to be two years missing in his history as much as ive been able to figure it all out. And then most recently there was that same woman plus another woman who lent him a bunch of money (he says that she kind of forced the money on him) and then went to the police about him stealing the money (he moved to Canada after breaking up with her but im not sure whether he told her or not) but also with a fake story of abuse and a third woman that he got pregnant twice and kicked him out after her second miscarriage. And even though he cheated on the one woman hes been seeing off and on a bunch of times shes still involved with him. And he calls them all slaves even the ones going back to when he was in college (hes 51 now). No this isnt Jerry Springer or some weird soap opera. Honestly this is all stuff that he told me and im probably leaving stuff out! He also started talking about "fucking your three pussies" about 5 days after we started talking which really icked me out. But a lot of the stuff that hes written to me is really romantic and ever since i got upset about that email hes been mostly a gentleman in everything hes written. So i really dont know what to do. Hes acted like he knew me from the beginning kind of (i mean in a good way) and wanted me a lot and that sounded great until i started thinking that he didnt really know that much about me (we've never talked on the phone or even IMed) and so who is it that hes wanting? Wow. Writing this all down in one place makes it sound really crazy but really its all true or i mean that its all true about what hes written me anyway. So do i take a chance on him or is this all too much? Help?!? rhw If you decide to date this man YOU are crazy. I've read this over a couple of times now and I'm trying to figure out if you're even for real or just yanking our chain. Why would you even be considering it????? Do you HATE yourself?

ladysekhmetka -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 5:54:07 PM)
I'm not much of any body, but I'll agree with what everyone else has said so far. This is probably not a situation you want to put yourself in, unless you happen to like drama and chaos in your life [;)]

CruelDesires -> RE: Very confused about what to do (9/3/2008 6:03:26 PM)
Edit> To the OP. Might do a criminal background check on him and see if that will tell you where those two years disappeared to. C-D

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