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torture combinations & body function - help! - 9/4/2008 5:14:58 AM

Jupiterfalling

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I seem to have a problem giving head after being gaged or choked/suffocated. My gag reflex just kicks in. Anyone else have this problem? Also, any form of anal play seems to hurt my stomach if I have recent eaten. I'm new to this, so I am wondering if this is common or I just need better training?

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RE: torture combinations & body function - help! - 9/4/2008 5:21:23 AM

RCdc

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Don't eat then play on top of it. It isn't good for the digestion anyway, but if you are having problems the best solution is not to do it.

Some people just have quicker gag reflex than others. Again, same advice, if you are gagged etc then don't perform oral after.

the.dark.

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RE: torture combinations & body function - help! - 9/4/2008 5:25:21 AM

Jupiterfalling

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I didn't have a choice really as thats what he wanted to do. He seemed to think I was weak after both scenarios. I felt like I dissapointed him, but I guess it's logical that while all of these things are good they must be done at the right moments? Or am I just a bad sub?!

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RE: torture combinations & body function - help! - 9/4/2008 5:37:22 AM

RCdc

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jupiterfalling

I didn't have a choice really as thats what he wanted to do. He seemed to think I was weak after both scenarios. I felt like I dissapointed him, but I guess it's logical that while all of these things are good they must be done at the right moments? Or am I just a bad sub?!

This isn't about how much discomfort you can or cannot take, this is a body function issue and your personal health. Playing on top of eating isn't good for the digestion, just like you wouldn't run or swim. It's a health issue.

Gag reflex varies person to person. If it is uncomfortable and you aren't dealing with it well, he should also be taking that into consideration. If you end up throwing up regularly, or refluxing, you are going to damage your stomach, throat etc - that is just common sense. Some people can train to get their throats used to it but not everyone.

If he feels that way, then personally? I believe he (and by that, you) have bigger problems. Not being able to do something, doesn't make you a bad submissive, it simply means you can't do it and you are incompatable for each other. Unless you are into degradation and you have agreed to that kind of behaviour, then he is out of line thinking you are weak - he is weak for not understanding and scening when he appears oblivious to human anatomy.

Don't settle Jupitar, you still have power even when you relinquish authority.

the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 9/4/2008 5:39:02 AM >

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RE: torture combinations & body function - help! - 9/4/2008 7:13:26 AM

beargonewild

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jupiterfalling

I didn't have a choice really as thats what he wanted to do. He seemed to think I was weak after both scenarios. I felt like I dissapointed him, but I guess it's logical that while all of these things are good they must be done at the right moments? Or am I just a bad sub?!

We still have a choice even when we are submitting to another. For many, they are able to learn to control their gag reflex and for some, they aren't able to. That is just how the body works and it isn't yours of his fault.

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RE: torture combinations & body function - help! - 9/4/2008 10:15:33 AM

scottishdove

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just because someone is a Dom, doesn't mean they can't also be an insensitive asshole.

and why would you tolerate a Dom insensitive asshole when you probably wouldn't tolerate a Vanilla insensitive asshole

this whole thing of 'how can i control these natural involuntary body reactionss/ and 'am i a bad sub' is you trying to put something outside of your control (the fact he is an insensitive asshole) into something you can control (your body functions and somehow magically being 'better' at contolling your involuntary body functions).

Rather than control what can't be controlled (natural body functions) just either have a serious discussion with him about your needs and let the chips fall where they may (who knows, he might surprise you and be a better guy than you assumed by buying into his idiocy) or just walk away and go looking for a new Dom.

< Message edited by scottishdove -- 9/4/2008 10:16:41 AM >

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RE: torture combinations & body function - help! - 9/4/2008 9:25:36 PM

littlewonder

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My gag reflex also kicks in after breathplay because my breathing pattern is abnormal. I'm still trying to get into a normal breathing pattern and rhythm and until then my throat is still sensitive.

I think this is pretty normal.If he finds this a weakness and since you can't control normal human body functions either educate him or ask yourself if this is really the type of relationship you want to deal with.

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RE: torture combinations & body function - help! - 9/9/2008 7:27:22 AM

babygurlrides

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jupiterfalling

He seemed to think I was weak after both scenarios. I felt like I dissapointed him

I agree what everyone else has said. I am curious tho... did he actually say you were weak, or was it just his reaction that made you feel that way. I think that is an important distinction to make. When my Daddy is upset or disappointed because something did not go as he wished, his first reaction is to withdraw, become curt in his responses. And my initial reaction to this is to feel horrible that I dissappointed him, even tho I know whatever happenned was beyond my control. At the end of the day, Daddy does come around.. he just needs time to process HIS feelings. It has nothing to do with him not understanding that it wasnt my fault. Its just him being human (thanks to the people here who helped me to see that)!!
Perhaps it is that way for your Master. Talk to him.

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RE: torture combinations & body function - help! - 9/9/2008 8:53:07 AM

lovingpet

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What are you supposed to be some ready made right out of the box sub? Some things you will find are not possible for you physically, and there is nothing wrong with that. On the other hand, there are other things you will learn to do with time and training. You are worth the investment. Don't settle and speak up! He can't adjust if you don't communicate your need. If you both can't make it work respectfully, then don't settle. There is someone out there that will do right by you in these matters.

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