RE: the bipolar sub... (Full Version)

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slavedesires -> RE: the bipolar sub... (12/1/2005 8:07:32 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TenderTears4U

hello raney wanted to let you know i also am bipolar there is a medicine out there called lamictal its a mood stabilizer i am on it and it has done wonders for the manic epsodes talk with your doctor about it i wish you the best of luck and feel free to message me ,,,,,,TenderTears4u



Lamictal is a great drug for stablizing moods, but look out if you are the one in 1000 that comes down with TENS or SJS. My sister is in a burn unit, on life support, after she increased her dose. It has serious side effects if you are prone.... as serious as lithum, thus the reasons its not used anymore. 3rd degree internal and external burns on the upper half of her body.

One drug that works great for one might be the literal death of another.

There is no true right answer for anyone.



slavedesires -> RE: the bipolar sub... (12/1/2005 8:25:23 PM)

quote:

DoYouHaveOne, I am sorry if you misunderstood or thought my post was a veiled attempt at disrespect. I know that sometimes I am rather blunt and may come across as unfeeling to some degree. That is a shortcoming on my end and I do apologize. I can assure you that nothing is further from the truth and those who have been here for awhile know where my heart is. I guess that the one thing that I never waiver on is that regardless of your life situation, your past or your limitations....I believe in personal responsibility and accountability. We all have a duty to ourselves to be the best that is possible for each of us as individuals.


erin, no offense taken...I posted in my other profile without realizing it. Yes, I know where your heart is, and like me, I MUST step back many times before I post cause I can come across rough edged. Tis something I work on daily.

"Personal responsibility and accountability"...ah we talk about this so often and yet we do have much difficulty doing this. If my sister had taken R and A, she MIGHT not be lying in a CA burn unit on life support after increasing her dose of lamictal.
You see, IMHO, personal responsiiblity and accountability ALWAYS affects those who care for you and have your best interests at their very core. We tend to think our own Rand A affects ONLY me, myself and I. It doesn't, it affects those closest to us. I am only now beginning to understand the depths of this. The forum on responsiblity started me really dwelling on and meditating on this very important issue and how my choices DOES directly affect the ones closest to me.

When we counsel others, we need to allow them to tend for themselves, true, but are we not responsible for any knowledge, counsel that which comes from our mouths? Counseling, educating and mentoring are part of my job and part of who I am. I take this very seriously because if what I say or how I say it does someone wrong or harm, I MUST rethink how I presented it and why I said it.

I know you sought to understand the OP erin...and how I delivered my message might also been a reflection on my own personal situation with my sister and family during this crisis.

many blessings



mistoferin -> RE: the bipolar sub... (12/2/2005 5:57:29 AM)

slavedesires,
I am very sorry to hear of your sister and I pray for your family and her speedy recovery.

I would also like to thank you for the reality check.
quote:

When we counsel others, we need to allow them to tend for themselves, true, but are we not responsible for any knowledge, counsel that which comes from our mouths?

I absolutely agree. I find this medium to be especially difficult because one can generally only begin to touch on the basics before the thread or the OP of a thread is long gone. It limits the discourse and I find myself trying to touch on all aspects in a brief and certainly lacking manner than what would be possible in an in depth, one on one meeting.

Disclaimer: I am not in any way referring to the OP in what I am about to say. This is only meant to give an understanding as to why I sometimes come across the way that I do.

Generally, I begin by trying to ascertain just exactly who and what I am dealing with. I tend to do this by asking some questions that may at face value sound a bit callous. I find that in doing so I can determine if the person before me has a good understanding of what the issues are and the possible solutions. I can generally also find out if the person before me is of the mindset of being so caught up in the problem that the solution may be completely obscured from their view. Many times I also find that if I can get the person before me to come up with the possible solutions on their own, it gives them a sense of control that can not come from me simply mapping it out for them.

Often times, as I am sure you have seen in your own experience, a person may present with a problem and are coming from a place where they thought that the mere "diagnosis" of that problem WAS the answer. It is like when they were told "You are an alcoholic", or "You are bipolar" or "You are (fill in the blank)"...they looked back over their life and suddenly things became clearer. "Oh, that explains why I acted this way or that". What they fail to see is that the diagnosis is really only the beginning....and the place where the hard work starts. While the diagnosis may indeed explain prior behavior....it is not the scapegoat on which to place the responsibility of future or ongoing behavior. Just because you have been diagnosed with alcoholism....it does not give you a license to go home and beat the crap out of your wife claiming that you were powerless, for example.

I do try very hard slavedesires, to carefully pick and choose my words….especially when it comes to the advice. I know that I have a responsibility for my word and would feel awful if something that I said caused another harm. As you stated, counseling, mentoring and education are part of who you are….as is the same with me….sometimes I forget though that in this medium the quality of what we are trying to do can be lessened to the level of a drive thru window at a fast food restaurant….not because of our intent….but because of the limitations of the arena in which we are trying to communicate.

Once again…thank you, they were words I needed to hear. It is easy to read what we have written and see it exactly from the perspective of the intent that drove us to write…..it is much harder at times to see it through the eyes of another who is not privy to the underlying motivations.





slavedesires -> RE: the bipolar sub... (12/3/2005 11:45:34 AM)

you are a blessing erin.....

~~shy



Slaveless1 -> RE: the bipolar sub... (12/3/2005 5:32:13 PM)

There are some that have posted that obvioulsy have had no contact with a bi-polar. To those that have not please be advised you know not what of you speak, and should refrain from posting. This is not meant as disrespect...but contary. Even with medication their hormones rage in their body and nothing can change it. Medication is not a total fix for this disease. I have had the wonderful (sarcasticly speaking) of tow such people in my life. We had years of doctors and different drugs some work for a time some don't. Their own body will change and so their medication needs to be adjusted to it all takes time.

If there are two diagnosed bi-polars in the same house, is not a real good thing. I strongly suggest a different master.



pawschan -> RE: the bipolar sub... (12/3/2005 7:23:17 PM)

I have to agree wuth Slaveless1. I used to date a bipolar boy when I was younger, I've also been through a lot of treatment 'cause of some problem with anxiety and depression. Even though you may have strong feeling for each other, it may not be wise to be living with or dating another bipolar, espicially since you were both recently diagnosed. I mean no disrespect by this, but I think you should try a different, more stable Master.



slavedesires -> RE: the bipolar sub... (12/5/2005 1:12:49 PM)

I found this excellent article on BiPolar Type I and II and the descripters of major depression....
there are also links at the bottom to understand more of the disease process...


http://www.umm.edu/patiented/articles/what_bipolar_disorder_000066_1.htm

http://www.umm.edu/ency/article/001528.htm

http://www.umm.edu/ency/article/000945.htm

with that knowledge.... I can see why the original OP on the forum has such difficulties with obedience and direction from a Dom and then again if the Dom has it...wow...!





LittleMissSub -> RE: the bipolar sub... (12/5/2005 3:45:50 PM)

hey now.

i'm cyclothemic. bipolar type 3. my manic and depressive states don't reach the extremes of classic bi polars, and for not as long. for those of you who don't know what cyclothemia is, it's the stereotypical perception of bipolar....up and down in a matter of hours.

to the OP; i don't know how much of what i feel will match up to you, but thought you might appreciate the insight. please take into considertion that i'm not on meds of any kind. i do a lot of therapy, 2 hrs psychoanalysis and 1 hr behviour mod a week plus group. my treatment plan is aimed at keeping me off meds and finding ways to counteract the illness naturally, through different coping mechanisms and other things. this makes me incredably aware of what's going on with me all the time. how i feel, why i feel it, what i get from it, how can i get it in a better, healthier way.

Playing is something i never really want to do, leading up to it, when i'm down, or in a cycle at all really. But when it's about to happen, I feel a lot better, i feel i can lose myself for awhile, focus on something else. keep in mind, i don't have those i can't get out of bed days though.

i think that in terms of punishment or special treatment, it should go just like your period (no ladies, i'm not saying a period is akin to a disease), or arthritis. There are times when special provisos come into play because of a temporary change in physical capabilities.

as far as having a bi polar dom when you're bi polar goes...i dated a guy who was bi polar...who actually suggested i seek out treatment and as a result i was diagnosed...i think if BOTH of you are actively trying to manage your illnesses, and lead healthy lifestyles, being together might actually be a good thing. you understand the perspective of the other, and can help each other focus on the right things when one loses track. having D/s in your relationship will only help that. But be careful to stay healthy, or on that track, because the two of you can tailspin each other to death if you allow it to happen. in my case, i was focused on being healthy, and the management of my disease, he was not at the time...i had to end it, despite how amazing (and HOT!) he was...still very very close friends though.

and as long as you're careful not to top from the bottom...as in seeking out punishment because you feel depressed and feel as though you deserve it, and doing something to actually deserve it. Getting some punishment (when it's deserved) will help you move past things that may otherwise have been a stumbling block for you. it's a steady point that you can allow yourself to feel bad up until it's reached. you take the punishment, learn the lesson and you're free to move on unencumbered by any issues.



raney -> RE: the bipolar sub... (12/7/2005 12:34:01 PM)

sorry it has taken me so long to reply. my internet went down on friday.

i would like to thank everyone who replied. i appreciate it tremendously.

the first thing i would like to comment on, is the fact that we are both bipolar. this is not the first relationship ive been in with another bipolar. my deceased husband was bipolar also. he kept that from me for quite a while, went unmedicated, etc. it wasnt until he was faced with me either leaving, or him getting help for whatever was going on with him, that he finally admitted to me that he was diagnosed 15 years ago, and always refused meds/treatment. i told him, that was his choice, but i would not be around to continue to see it. he chose to get treatment. had he not chosen to get treatment, i would have packed up myself and my children and have been gone. i know the hell of living with someone who is bipolar.

fast forward to now. Master Ryan knew i was bipolar when He met me. i am always open and honest about that. He was also open with me in what He was diagnosed with in the army. as time went by, i started noticing things. i am so in tune with myself, that it wasnt hard for me to pick up things in Him. so i started asking Him questions, never mentioning that i thought it was possible He was bipolar. after about a month, He looked at me and asked me if i thought He was bipolar. my answer was yes. He told me to call my doc and make and appt for Him.

i love Him like i have loved no one else. He is my everything. He and my children are my world. He makes me the person that i am. He is my better half. finding another Master, is not an option. even if we werent married, it would not be an option.

if our relationship was like it was in the end before we put D/s into it, we would not be on speaking terms right now. we would probably in fact, being going through an annullment.

i think, as long as two people are happy, why does it matter what illness they have? you may say im looking through rose colored glasses, but im not. my husband that passed away, it was not a good marriage. when he died, i had actually been contemplating divorcing him. i have two prime examples of bipolar couples, with totally different results. it is all in how the person WITH bipolar communicates. if both are communicating, it can work. if one isnt, well, its not gonna work, just like with any relationship. vanilla or D/s. plus its a plus when you can tell your mate, hey, you feeling ok? you seem depressed/manic, whats going on? when even THEY havent picked up on it yet.


thanks again to everyone
stephanie



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