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Ear Or Finger? You Decide - 9/5/2008 1:39:34 PM

MadAxeman

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A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.
The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"
"That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this... When your ear itches and you put your little finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better...your ear or your finger?

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RE: Ear Or Finger? You Decide - 9/5/2008 1:42:47 PM

VoicesInTheDark

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Are Women Evil By Nature... A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard. 'Are you the manager?' she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands. 'Actually, no,' he replied. 'Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him,' she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair. 'I'm afraid I can't,' breathed the bartender.. 'Is there anything I can do?' 'Yes. I need you to give him a message,' she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. 'What should I tell him?' the bartender managed to say. 'Tell him,' she whispered, 'There's no toilet paper, handsoap, or paper towels in the ladies room.'

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RE: Ear Or Finger? You Decide - 9/5/2008 1:44:04 PM

VoicesInTheDark

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Joined: 10/19/2006
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The Urologist....

My internist referred me to a female urologist. I saw her yesterday and she is gorgeous. She's beautiful and unbelievably sexy. She had me drop my drawers, and grabbed me down below to check for a hernia.

'Ah,” she said, “You are going to have to stop masturbating'. I asked her, “Why,” and she said, “Because I'm trying to examine you...”

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RE: Ear Or Finger? You Decide - 9/5/2008 1:52:31 PM

VoicesInTheDark

Posts: 14
Joined: 10/19/2006
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4 golfers

A Catholic Priest, an Indian Doctor, a rich ChineseBusinessman and a Policeman were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them.

The Policeman fumed,
'What's with those guys? We have been waiting for fifteen minutes!'

The Indian Doctor chimed in, 'I've never seen such poor golf!'

The Chinese Businessman yelled out 'Get moving, time is money'

The Catholic Priest said, 'Here comes George the greens keeper,
maybe he can do something about this'

'Hello, George!', said the Catholic Priest, 'What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?'

George the greens keeper replied, 'Yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we al ways let them play for free anytime.'

The group fell silent for a moment.

The Catholic Pries t said, 'That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.'

The Indian Doctor said, 'Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them.'

The Chinese Businessman replied, 'I think I'll donate $50,000 to the fire-fighters in honor of these brave souls'

The Policeman said, 'Why the fuck don't they play at night?'

(in reply to VoicesInTheDark)

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