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So confused - 9/6/2008 10:38:51 AM

newbie0

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Joined: 9/2/2008
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I have no idea what I'm doing, lol.... all I know is I have had recurring fantasy/thoughts throughout the day about providing oral sex to a dominant woman... The fantasy started out as being forced to provide this oral stimulation and has since transferred into being home when she gets off work she had a hard day and she tells me to bring her a beer and hikes up her skirt so she can relax and has moved onto doing what she desires regardless of my wants she being very controlling and demanding for her pleasure.. I find these thoughts continue to grow in me changing daily, turning into a desire to serve her regardless of what she ask, ultimately this ofcourse makes me sexually aroused but as time goes on the service gets disassociated from direct sexual pleasure and turns to making her happy, doing services for her and serving her ultimately just giving oral pleasure with no regards for my own.... I dont know where I am going with this just wanted someone to understand and maybe give me some input, I am looking for my first experiences and am very scared and confused.

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RE: So confused - 9/6/2008 11:03:28 AM

OttersSwim

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Joined: 9/1/2008
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There is nothing wrong with being new...I am new too. :)

What I can suggest is that first you slow down and think a lot about what you are looking to bring into yourself with this new path in your life. How you will accept and balance this part of your personality, and integrate it into your life in a positive way.

Once you have done a bit of that, see if you can condense what you have discovered into a profile for the site here. I also suggest using the journal feature to explore in writing what you are reading and hearing and thinking about as you start down this path.

Read everything you can get your hands on - this site is an excellent place to begin. Look for local groups that share this interest and go to a munch or meeting and start getting to know people face to face.

Once you feel comfortable, engage the community here to learn more and hopefully make some friends.

Hope that helps! :)

(in reply to newbie0)

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RE: So confused - 9/6/2008 11:10:04 AM

newbie0

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Joined: 9/2/2008
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I really appreciate the response and will take your advice... if anyone knows of any meetings or community event in NJ that would be good for someone interested in learning please email me...

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RE: So confused - 9/6/2008 11:19:12 AM

WyldHrt

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Joined: 6/5/2008
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Keep an eye on the upcoming events forum, Newbie. You might find one posted that is local and sparks your interest. Other than that, Otter has given you very good advice, the best of which is to take things slow until you are comfortable with who you are and what you want.
Welcome to CM.

[Edit to add]- You also might consider changing your username before you rack up a lot of posts. It's going to look a bit silly when you've been here for a year, no?

< Message edited by WyldHrt -- 9/6/2008 11:22:57 AM >

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RE: So confused - 9/6/2008 11:34:44 AM

newbie0

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Joined: 9/2/2008
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thanks for the warm welcome, I just wanted to be direct and to the point with my name as I have been on this site as 2 other usernames but couldnt even get up the courage to message or post on here lol, so newbie fits for now maybe I'll change in a few months ;)

< Message edited by newbie0 -- 9/6/2008 11:36:01 AM >

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RE: So confused - 9/6/2008 5:56:03 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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http://groups.yahoo.com/adultconf?dest=%2Fgroup%2FLeatherRoses%2F
This is a northern NJ group. If you're in southern NJ, look up bdsm Philadelphia. Also in Manhattan, there's a public club Paddles, and TES. Additionally, you could search profiles for people in your area and see if any of them know of a munch.

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RE: So confused - 9/6/2008 8:34:38 PM

lovingpet

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I see a progressive thought pattern and very much one I would expect to see. I hope you will pursue your desires and needs diligently. It is easy to become frustrated or be overwhelmed and decide not to deal with all this now. You can certainally do that, but I think you will find the journey is well worth it regardless of where it ends up.

I found things really came together more once I began meeting people face to face. It made it real, flesh and blood, and possible. There was no going backwards at that point. Best wishes and welcome!

lovingpet

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RE: So confused - 9/7/2008 5:53:55 AM

daddysliloneds

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Joined: 6/28/2006
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a couple of fantasies does not make you a submissive, nor does it mean you have to go to some 'lifestyle' meeting/groups, etc. to understand them or to try to find someone to play them out with...

in all honesty, my suggestion would be to find a kinky gal who is willing to let you play out that fantasy and see where it goes from there; there's plenty of them on here, alt.com, zoig.com and other such web sites.

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RE: So confused - 9/7/2008 10:14:09 AM

goodpet

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Hi, and welcome to the lifestyle..

You are not alone, and we were all new once to this way of loveing and life..

take you time.. take it easy..

Oct 31st is a the Black Rose event in DC, not too far of a drive.. lots of good informaton for any level of expereince. www.BRevent.org

Take care.
~ann

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