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Responsible for your years of repression? NOT! - 9/6/2008 1:40:37 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		Ok, so this is a rant, and I'm not expecting anyone to -fix- anything... just feeling the need to bitch.

I've had some interesting contacts this week... in particular, a couple of gentlemen who contacted me because they wanted to be spanked, diapered, etc.

I am pretty clear... ok, more than pretty clear... on my profile that I don't do age-play, adult baby, diapers, etc... plus, I'm not really that into OTK (I guess I should specify that, too, but my Darling does like the occasional OTK, so I left it unmentioned, since a servant serving me may end up over my Darling's knee, so I don't want to rule it out for a servant entirely).

After letting these gentlemen know that I really don't get into the whole ageplay/diapers scene, I got an email back from one of these guys saying, basically, that he's been repressing this need his whole life (he is 46), and that if I were a decent -person- (not even a 'real domme' or 'good domina' or whatever... but just a decent -person-) I would be willing to help him get relief from his years of repression by giving him what he wants/needs.

Ok, I'm calling "bullshit". I have made difficult choices to be able to be straightforward about who and what I am as a person. I've done my best to be honest about myself, and dealt with my life in such a way that I could be honest -with- myself. I have avoided the temptation to repress those aspects of myself that are less "acceptable" to the mainstream, and have dealt with the complications that my decision brought out in my life. I have been both responsible and open in my decision-making process, and even in my most vanilla relationship (a 13-year marriage), I stayed as true to both the commitment I made -and- the core of my own nature as possible, and was completely up-front about who and what I was from day 1 of the relationship.

I'm sorry if Joe Baby has repressed his need for OTK and diapers for his whole adult life. That was his own choice -- he chose to be seen a certain way by society at large, and to repress parts of himself to do so. I do not feel -any- responsibility for helping a total stranger to correct the framework of his life because he chose to follow a path that denied a portion of himself.

Call me cold, callous, and uncaring. The truth is, I really -don't- care about a total stranger, and feel no compulsion to bring someone who has been dishonest with hirself for hir entire adult life into our household while xhe figures out whether or not xhe's capable of claiming hir authentic self, or whether, after a couple of spankings, xhe's going to start feeling guilty again or succumb to pressures from associates, friends, etc., and ditch us to return to hir chosen repression.

Calla Firestorm



_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Responsible for your years of repression? NOT! - 9/6/2008 1:44:04 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		BRAVO!

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Responsible for your years of repression? NOT! - 9/6/2008 2:11:31 PM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline 		I got a similar one recently and ended up having to block him.  He is in his forties and claims he has never been discinplined in his life and wants to find a woman to administrer that first OTK spanking that will bring tears to his eyes.   Not a hello, not a "how are you," not a thought about what the women he is approaching would get out of this, just looking for a fantasy fulfillment device.  I don't even bother answering messages like that.  The last one before he got blocked was a whine about why was he having so much difficulty finding a woman to fulfill this life-long fantasy of his.  As if that's going to make me feel pity for him and change my mind.
 
Lady Topaz

< Message edited by MysticFireTopaz -- 9/6/2008 2:12:18 PM >

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
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RE: Responsible for your years of repression? NOT! - 9/6/2008 2:51:50 PM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		You did the right thing to send them packing.  People like that need therapy, not spanking.  Once they accept and absorb that aspect of themselves and find some balance, maybe some Lady might be willing to engage - IF that is something she is interested in.

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Responsible for your years of repression? NOT! - 9/6/2008 2:57:09 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		<insert rant support emo here!>

I've never gotten that particular brand of guilt trip---you responded far more gracefully than I would have!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to OttersSwim)
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RE: Responsible for your years of repression? NOT! - 9/6/2008 3:03:26 PM   
seababy


Posts: 845
Joined: 6/20/2008
Status: offline 		I hope the guy reads this thread.

Dude! Pay for a professional you cheapskate!
Its no one else 's responsibility that you cant get off.

what a loser



(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Responsible for your years of repression? NOT! - 9/6/2008 4:54:54 PM   
SunNMoon


Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline 		 I do agree. I dislike this type of whining; it just makes me wonder how they meet people in person.

_____________________________

"We agreed to S&M only, sex and mockery." - Gray’s Anatomy.

(in reply to seababy)
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RE: Responsible for your years of repression? NOT! - 9/6/2008 4:58:13 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		They are just trying to irritate you enough to do the deed.  Whether it be to scold them or spank or diaper... when one is hungry, they will take whatever they can get.  If we all compared our email, we might find that we are dealing with the same guys.

(in reply to SunNMoon)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Responsible for your years of repression? NOT! - 9/6/2008 5:17:59 PM   
MontrealPhoenix


Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline 		.....and it's your responsibility to make up for the years he repressed this why? God people like that just piss me the hell off. As soon as they start with the guilt they become the victim of my block button.
 
Mistress Calla you have nothing to feel bad about, you are under no obligation to them to make up for their missed years as an adult baby.
 
Mistress Lockit, omg can you imagine what would happen if all we females got together to compare notes? Wowsies the men who would be bombarded with messages from a bunch of pissed off females...some of us with PMS or menopause...
 
phoenix

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267



(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Responsible for your years of repression? NOT! - 9/6/2008 5:26:04 PM   
rookey


Posts: 100
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW
Call me cold, callous, and uncaring. The truth is, I really -don't- care about a total stranger, and feel no compulsion to bring someone who has been dishonest with hirself for hir entire adult life into our household while xhe figures out whether or not xhe's capable of claiming hir authentic self, or whether, after a couple of spankings, xhe's going to start feeling guilty again or succumb to pressures from associates, friends, etc., and ditch us to return to hir chosen repression.


You're not being callous, you're being real.  It certainly sounds as though this guy didn't care about you as a person.   

_____________________________



(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
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RE: Responsible for your years of repression? NOT! - 9/6/2008 5:34:31 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Goodness, the stakes have gone up.  I should have known this trend was coming after all of those threads where the folks who write us emails think we're required to reply.  Now they've uped the anti and we are also required to satisfy their every whim and anything they might have "repressed."  Interesting.  The writers of such correspondence must have formed a union or something, since they are obviously now bringing us their demands.

Here's My official position for all things that fall into this, and similar categories:

Just because your email landed in My box, I don't owe you a thing.  Not a reply, not a scene, not an option to chat.  While I'm sorry that you have issues in your life, many times of your own creating, they really don't have squat to do with Me.  Call Me callous if you will, but if you are no friend of Mine, have no intention of being, and just one of the random masses on the CM highway, sorry.  I care about the people I've gotten to know here, but that's probably not going to happen from one or two emails.




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Responsible for your years of repression? NOT! - 9/6/2008 5:37:59 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I can understand that he's feeling very frustrated. But demanding some perfect stranger disrupt her life to fulfill his fantasy? Very selfish.


Especially as it isn't at all necessary for him to repress this. He needs only contact the proDommes in his area and asks if any of them do age play.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Responsible for your years of repression? NOT! - 9/6/2008 5:51:51 PM   
MontrealPhoenix


Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline 		Ah yes but then he would have to PAY for it. Why do that when he can (possibly) guilt a Domina into doing it for free? *wink*

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267



(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Responsible for your years of repression? NOT! - 9/6/2008 6:20:11 PM   
OneMoreWaste


Posts: 910
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline 		Hm, I never thought about that... I wonder if I too might be entitled to Domination Reparations!  I'll have to consult my accountant. 

(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Responsible for your years of repression? NOT! - 9/6/2008 6:29:01 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Hmmm  -  where do i sign up for the "submissive guilt workshop to work it out".  
Don't do emotional blackmail.
Don't owe anything to anyone other than my um's and less of that recently since they both have achieved the age of majority.

Since i don't acknowledge "owing anything to anyone" my relationships are much cleaner. I am with my Sir because i love him and he meets my emotional and physical needs.  very simple.  He feels the same.  And for those times when love doesn't quite get it, the meeting of the needs will get us through until the love kicks in again.
Life is lovely.

(in reply to OneMoreWaste)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Responsible for your years of repression? NOT! - 9/6/2008 8:21:21 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		I just had to check your profile Calla for a menu weird i did not see one to order off of . Why is some people  think its  ok to treat others like a fast food order  shrugs ..I feel not only for you Calla ,but all Women  who get this  junk . adds supportive  kudos too and bravo !. 

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Responsible for your years of repression? NOT! - 9/6/2008 8:41:33 PM   
zakkan


Posts: 606
Joined: 4/15/2008
Status: offline 		I believe its due to porn. In most porn movies the guy gets on his knees within 5 minutes AND without saying anything. Excessive ogling of such 'easy' scenarios and people will automatically assume that it works in real life too, and that people here are similar to the on-screen doms.

They think a sub man should just whine and beg. After all, that is what they do on-screen.


_____________________________

Silence! I keel you!

(in reply to azropedntied)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Responsible for your years of repression? NOT! - 9/6/2008 9:07:39 PM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		Why's he looking for a "decent" woman on CM? *shrug*

(in reply to zakkan)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Responsible for your years of repression? NOT! - 9/7/2008 5:05:13 AM   
MadameMarque


Posts: 1128
Joined: 3/19/2005
Status: offline 		Guys like that need some of their own back.  He needs a woman following him around, telling him about how she has some fetish that she needs fulfilled, with no regard for the fact that it's got nothing to do with his profile - except, perhaps, that he's mentioned he hates it.

When he tries simply not responding, she can come on, under two or three new pseudonyms, insisting that if he were a decent person, he would ignore what he wants, and give her, a complete stranger, the intimate satisfaction she wants.  After all, it would be so easy for him to give her what she wants.  She should then send him some particularly undesirable (to him) pictures of just what she's talking about.

Why, I could go on and on.  But you all know the play book.

< Message edited by MadameMarque -- 9/7/2008 5:10:53 AM >

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Responsible for your years of repression? NOT! - 9/7/2008 5:09:48 AM   
MadameMarque


Posts: 1128
Joined: 3/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

Why's he looking for a "decent" woman on CM? *shrug*


I'm more than decent, what do you mean?  Just because a person loves sex and is perverted, doesn't make them indecent.


(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 20
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