Would you start and feel good in this relationship?

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Would you start and feel good in this relationship? - 11/27/2005 5:15:17 PM

Naturalchatter

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear Ladies,

please just imagine: you meet a handsome, good-looking, single, successful man. You and this man feel you like each other, have the same interests, both want children. You start dating, discover more and more common things you like, think, and do. But there are still some things you do not know about this man.

Some day he tells you: “ You are the most special woman I met in my life. I never felt like this before and am absolutely sure you are the woman I have always dreamt about, and hope to spend the rest of my life with. BUT I had an accident in the mountains and after that I cannot achieve an erection and I will never ever undergo a surgery (like penile implants) because there will always be a risk of implant infection or even dying during the surgery. So I will stay impotent till the rest of my life. You know I love you like I never loved before. And you know there are hundreds of other methods of achieving orgasms. And I can lick you 24 hours a day, I have 10 fingers and could have a lot of toys. If you feel good with me please let us try if it can last forever. I will never ever hurt you (unless you want it

). And even being impotent, I can have children.”

If a man you feel good with told you something like that:

1. how would you react?
2. would you stay with him?
3. would you make sex/intercourse with other guys, still living with him (cheating...)?
4. would you tell other people who know you both so that they may laugh at him?

Why am I asking? Because I am this guy….
PS: please do not tell me about treatment methods - I am physician and know my chances , which without surgery are ZERO; and I will never decide to undergo penile surgery.

Post #: 1

RE: Would you start and feel good in this relationship? - 11/27/2005 5:29:32 PM

openmindedslave

Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline

okay, I am a guy... and yes you are creating a challenge for your relationship. You also have not brought up the fact that there is a lot of postives here that could out weight the importance of the sexual problem. First , you ned to know how she feels about all this .She is the one that will have to accept the situation and decide if it is worth staying .Really , how you feel is importain. But she is the one that needs to decide if its as big of a concern as you believe it is...

(in reply to Naturalchatter)

Post #: 2

RE: Would you start and feel good in this relationship? - 11/27/2005 5:30:51 PM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

Sex change...yup, I'd get a sex change.
No more worries about getting it up.

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to Naturalchatter)

Post #: 3

RE: Would you start and feel good in this relationship? - 11/27/2005 5:31:00 PM

happypervert

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline

Funny -- but this looks more like a personal ad than a question. Most folks around here aren't too fond of such deceptions or that you would apparently deceive by omitting the critical info about your dick until you got them hooked. But I'm just pointing this out to put another light on the "question" so the girls don't get feeling too warm and fuzzy from your sweet sounding words.

_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to Naturalchatter)

Post #: 4

RE: Would you start and feel good in this relationship? - 11/27/2005 5:43:20 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Naturalchatter
1. how would you react?

I'd respect his honesty and begin lots more conversations about how this has affected him in the past, thoeoughly examine what he has and has not done about it and just generally make sure I understand as much about the situation as possible.

quote:

2. would you stay with him?

Yup, assuming he's poly. We wouldn't even be having this conversation otherwise.

quote:

3. would you make sex/intercourse with other guys, still living with him (cheating...)?

Uh not cheating. I'm poly. If he isn't poly, then we aren't having a relationship.

quote:

4. would you tell other people who know you both so that they may laugh at him?

That is definitely immature.

But remember, this is ME. Everyone will have their own way. What matters is what the person YOU are having thie conversation will do.

(in reply to Naturalchatter)

Post #: 5

RE: Would you start and feel good in this relationship? - 11/27/2005 6:20:12 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

both want children

I think this should have been discussed early on. If you had lied to me when we discussed it I'd walk away.
Even if we had discussed wanting children and you did not at that time tell me you were impotent. We have problems.

Now, there are alternatives to having children however I'd want someone to be up front with me.

Integrity means a lot especially in lifestyle relationships. You've chosen to have none.

(in reply to Naturalchatter)

Post #: 6

RE: Would you start and feel good in this relationship? - 11/27/2005 6:34:22 PM

Sensualips

Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

I'd react in a supporting, caring way. I might be concerned this had not been brought up earlier, but I would quickly move past that and be reassuring. However, I would also be very honest. (Maybe not right at that moment, but after time for both of us to think.) And for me that honesty would include the fact that despite all the many many ways to achieve oragasm and intimacy, I still have a fondness for actual intercourse. I would not pretend lack of that is no big deal.

Would I cheat? If monogamy was what we had chosen, I would not go in with planning toeventually cheat Few people plan to cheat. However I do believe most people will have affairs in some circumstances. If you commit to monogamy, part of it is avoiding those circumstances. I could not absolutely say I would do that. I know, I am a bad person.

However, I would assume that prior to this point we would have already had discussions about both of our views on polyarmory, polysexual, etc. It would be very difficult for me to commit to a man forever knowing I would never have intercourse at all again. For me, it would be difficult to commit to ANY monogamous relationship though. Just depends on the situation and relationship.

If I was that into him and our relationship was that strong, I would not let the lack of intercourse ruin it. We'd talk, talk, talk and work around it.

I don't think I spend time with people that would laugh at this situation. I might confide in a close, trustworthy friend if I needed to talk it through with someone. I might, eventually, make jokes about it WITH the man. I believe laughter is a great way to deal with tough situations and use it often. There is nothing so dire or dreadful a joke can not be made, if the timing and relationship is right.

(in reply to Naturalchatter)

Post #: 7

RE: Would you start and feel good in this relationship? - 11/27/2005 6:34:44 PM

ginawithaB

Posts: 141
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

If a man you feel good with told you something like that:

1. how would you react?
2. would you stay with him?
3. would you make sex/intercourse with other guys, still living with him (cheating...)?
4. would you tell other people who know you both so that they may laugh at him?

1. With some shock at first, then with curiosity, some degree of sympathy and acceptance of the situation.
2 .Yes. why would I not?
3. No...not into cheating.
4. Please! I'm not in the 3rd grade anymore...Your medical condition is not a laughing matter.

(in reply to Naturalchatter)

Post #: 8

RE: Would you start and feel good in this relationship? - 11/27/2005 6:35:53 PM

Sensualips

Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

Also, I am confused. You say you CAN have children though? How so?

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 9

RE: Would you start and feel good in this relationship? - 11/27/2005 6:54:34 PM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Naturalchatter

Dear Ladies,

please just imagine: you meet a handsome, good-looking, single, successful man. You and this man feel you like each other, have the same interests, both want children. You start dating, discover more and more common things you like, think, and do. But there are still some things you do not know about this man.

Some day he tells you: “ You are the most special woman I met in my life. I never felt like this before and am absolutely sure you are the woman I have always dreamt about, and hope to spend the rest of my life with. BUT I had an accident in the mountains and after that I cannot achieve an erection and I will never ever undergo a surgery (like penile implants) because there will always be a risk of implant infection or even dying during the surgery. So I will stay impotent till the rest of my life. You know I love you like I never loved before. And you know there are hundreds of other methods of achieving orgasms. And I can lick you 24 hours a day, I have 10 fingers and could have a lot of toys. If you feel good with me please let us try if it can last forever. I will never ever hurt you (unless you want it ). And even being impotent, I can have children.”

If a man you feel good with told you something like that:

1. how would you react?
2. would you stay with him?
3. would you make sex/intercourse with other guys, still living with him (cheating...)?
4. would you tell other people who know you both so that they may laugh at him?

Okay from my perspective, if I were single given that i'm in my late 20's I'd be looking for a serious long term monogamous situation. And I'm also someone that really enjoys (reallllly enjoys) penetration. So with those caveats..

1. I'd thank you for being honest and I'd be sympathetic and listen completely to what the person had to say.

2. No

3. I wouldn't cheat or have sex with others.

4. No, I wouldn't tell a person.

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to Naturalchatter)

Post #: 10

RE: Would you start and feel good in this relationship? - 11/27/2005 6:56:34 PM

Mylee

Posts: 217
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

For me if this was the situation with the one i am with, yes, i would stay, No i would not cheat on Him and NO way would i tell anyone else so they could laugh at Him, i'm deeply in love with the one i'm with i would do nothing that would bring Him that kinda pain...look for me, sex is great, i love it but i LOVE Him more then i want sex, there are many many toys out there on the market if we're feeling in the mood for it...as for children we'll there is always adoption or such....

(in reply to Sensualips)

Post #: 11

RE: Would you start and feel good in this relationship? - 11/27/2005 7:09:11 PM

jamesthehumanrug

Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline

greetings doc
i cant ans .,for the other half in bed but i know you don't have to show an erection to feel sexual sensation ,to orgasm,and the, other half can do ,that, for you ,unless you're, into virtual reality which is a patronization and, the brush ,off.
if she tells someone else, to laff ,at you; hope you're a cucold slave,
if my wifes' sagging face needed repairs ;there's no, other alternative, but ,surgery and, you, at least know you suffer ,to be beautiful,
infection maybe ,in the ,beginning ,and ,if you have diabetus, or some immune disorder, but ,after, that, if she wants it -add a stub ,and ,a tail like a dobberman, too; what's the no flex brakedown all about?
you gotta' bend like a willow ,or brake, and, have a g.d.brake down ,about it,
if you find, only the women who are rejecting
what does ,that say ,about you ?
better ,to self flaggelate, than self-castigate yourself, for someone elses' problems.
you had the accident; you lived ;you delt ,with it....
you gonna let them chase you ,off the mountain ,and, kill you like the elephants who chase the one ,with the broken tusk,to ensure the fittest ,of the species, cause, that jouney is a long one ,to the end, that's all.
snap ,out, of it; is what i'd tell her,or find someone-else!
dont LET SOMEONE be fussy.
you, put the cat food ,out ;they don't take it ;you snatch it ,up ;immediately, so they learn next time!i better take the ,offer ,or go without anything ,from this guy.

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 11/27/2005 7:18:30 PM >

_____________________________

I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to Naturalchatter)

Post #: 12

RE: Would you start and feel good in this relationship? - 11/27/2005 7:15:40 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

I would see if he were willing to experament with strapons. That is, him wearing one to penetrate.

SOunds silly, but I'm serious.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to jamesthehumanrug)

Post #: 13

RE: Would you start and feel good in this relationship? - 11/27/2005 7:22:29 PM

Sensualips

Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

Not silly perverseangelic. I actually thought of that as well - I know a man did that, not due to being impotent but just because he wanted to try it with a "really big one." I think they maybe even make some specifically designed for men.

Still, for me, it would not be the same as actual intercourse. Although I use condoms religiously, I really prefer it when I have a regular partner and we get to the point that can be done away with as well. For me the skin on skin, flesh inside me, ejaculation moment total package is very intimate and important. Not impossible to do without though.

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 14

RE: Would you start and feel good in this relationship? - 11/27/2005 7:30:17 PM

caitlyn

Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline

1. I have no idea how I would react, but would probably react pretty well to that licking me 24/7 part.

2. Yes.

3. Probably, but that's just me ... I'm relationship challenged.

4. I would never tell anyone, no matter how things worked out between us. A secret is safe with me.

(in reply to Naturalchatter)

Post #: 15

RE: Would you start and feel good in this relationship? - 11/27/2005 7:32:41 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

If you are a physician you know the issues, you know how to get counselling--so physician heal thyself--impotency and the ability to have children don't mesh--you cannot achieve orgasm but you can have your sperm harvested for invitro--that does not mean impotence--it means erectile dysfunction-------so I'm having a hard time with any reality here---

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to Naturalchatter)

Post #: 16

RE: Would you start and feel good in this relationship? - 11/28/2005 2:56:26 AM

Rayne58

Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline

It depends on how soon after we met you disclosed this information. I would hope as soon as it started looking like the relationship was going to be more than friends.

My Master has lots of health issues, including erectile dysfunction. He can get hard, but not stay hard long enough to reach orgasm through intercourse. He needs the extra stimulation of oral sex. Admittedly we are past the age of wanting more children.

He disclosed all His health problems to me before we met and decided to make our relationship permanent. In the first few days of my first visit to Him I got thrown in the deep end of dealing with a diabetic who had 5 hypos in 4 days one of which necessitated calling an ambulance. Luckily He had told me what to watch out for and what to do if it happened!

So to answer your questions:
1. The same way I reacted with Master - I took it in my stride and He taught me what to do and how to look after Him.

2. We will be celebrating two years together at the end of January 2006.

3. I do not have sex with other men, but have Master's permission and indeed encouragement to explore my bisexuality with women.

4. Certainly not. It is none of their business

(in reply to Naturalchatter)

Post #: 17

RE: Would you start and feel good in this relationship? - 11/28/2005 3:32:10 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I'm curious about something in the original thread. You are a physician. What would you tell a man who is undergoing prostate cancer treatment that could possibly render him impotent? These men (and their partners) make adjustments in the sexual part of their relationship. I also wondered about the strap-on thing too. Penetration can happen many ways, it doesn't have to be a *real* penis (although some women will prefer that).

The only thing I know to tell you is to be open about your situation before the first sexual contact and seek someone who is interested in the whole person, not just the sex.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Rayne58)

Post #: 18

RE: Would you start and feel good in this relationship? - 11/28/2005 3:50:03 AM

CaptainsPet

Posts: 57
Joined: 11/20/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

Sex change...yup, I'd get a sex change.
No more worries about getting it up.

You have a wicked, cruel wit Fastlane. But I gotta admit you make me laugh. In response to the questions...well a lot would depend on how honest and forthcoming he was with this information, how far along we were into our relationship when this accident occurred, how we both felt about "third parties" involved in our relationship, and I wouldn't want anyone to laugh at someone because of a disability. That last question was very weird.

_____________________________

Whip me, beat me
make me cry.
Tie me up.
Make me fly.

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 19

RE: Would you start and feel good in this relationship? - 11/28/2005 6:04:08 AM

RosaB

Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline

If a man you feel good with told you something like that:

1. how would you react?
........................................................
I would probably be thinking, damn, I knew it he was too good to be true. But, I'd be supportive and understanding
........................................................
2. would you stay with him?
........................................................
Yes
.......................................................
3. would you make sex/intercourse with other guys, still living with him (cheating...)?
.......................................................
He's on this board, I would assume he'd be open to discussion of me fulfilling a need, I would in reverse. Cause this gal will need a stiff one every now and then and a fake one won't hack it. I detest being penetrated by dildos.
......................................................
4. would you tell other people who know you both so that they may laugh at him?
-------------------------------------------
That would negate everything else I've said, of course not unless its one of his fantasies for a humiliation scene.

(in reply to CaptainsPet)

Post #: 20

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