RE: what do you look for (Full Version)

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eyesopened -> RE: what do you look for (9/9/2008 4:42:51 AM)

The one thing I can't abide in anyone is the victim mentality where nothing is ever their fault, everyone and everything comsipires to make them miserable, people who are so intent on being right that they can never be happy and are nearly always angry.  Has nothing to do with Dominance, I can't stand to be around those kinds of people in any context.



justinlee37 -> RE: what do you look for ( long post ) (9/9/2008 5:30:42 AM)

I feel it worthwhile to point out that the definition of integrity does NOT include being helpful, kind, considerate, or doing the "right" thing. Integrity is simply when your words and your actions mirror each other. In short, it's saying what you mean and meaning what you say (even if you are an evil bastard).

It's within your right to ask for someone who does the "right thing," but that's something different from integrity, so you should make it a separate bullet item for the sake of all the honest, straightforward super-villains in the world.

http://www.answers.com/integrity&r=67

Integrity; "Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code."



sunshinedreams -> RE: what do you look for ( long post ) (9/9/2008 6:22:57 AM)

Genuine awareness of the people in their life. I look for someone who is "keyed in" to other people and acts accordingly in everyday life. If they are clueless about reading body language or tones of voice, then how tuned in will they be while I am tied up and gagged? Just a thought.....[8|]



VivaciousSub -> RE: what do you look for (9/9/2008 8:12:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

The one thing I can't abide in anyone is the victim mentality where nothing is ever their fault, everyone and everything conspires to make them miserable, people who are so intent on being right that they can never be happy and are nearly always angry.  Has nothing to do with Dominance, I can't stand to be around those kinds of people in any context.


That sounds so creepily like a former ex of mine that I'm getting "run away!" flashbacks simply reading this!!

He suffered from what my other friends referred to as the victim/hate bullshit complex. He couldn't have dominated me if he tried. I dumped him two years ago and surprise of surprises, he is still single and blames me for it. Says I 'ruined' him. He ruined himself. I'm so glad I'm not around him anymore. [:@]



RCdc -> RE: what do you look for (9/9/2008 8:40:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NazjamRa

What do you look for exactly in a Dom/me?


I did not look.  'Looking' gives one limitations and makes you miss out and restricts oneself.

quote:

 I think that's a fair question but let Me take it one step farther and ask what is a hard limit must not do?

There are no limitations.
 
the.dark.



TwilightShadows -> RE: what do you look for (9/10/2008 7:35:30 AM)

My Dom is soft-spoken - I love that.  Secondly, he is a family man and takes excellent care of those who rely on him - and he is smart and creative - all very good traits in my opinion.

My hard limits:  those who cannot consent like minors and the family pet, scat, tattoos, permanent piercings, mummification, breath play, cages, and for god's sake
DON'T LICK MY EARS.



Aynne88 -> RE: what do you look for (9/10/2008 11:54:36 AM)

Exactly what I found....[;)]



polygirl50 -> RE: what do you look for (11/8/2008 1:40:05 PM)

if i wasn't taken; i'd be looking for someone who is 20 - 26,friendly,social,good-looking,fun,smart,energetic,and had similar interests as me (both bdsm and vanilla). hard limits would be the opposite of the things i just listed, except the 20 - 26, i can go as high as 35 as long as everything else is in order. plus anyone who really wants to have kids in the future,i don't so that relationship wouldn't go anywhere.



agirl -> RE: what do you look for (11/8/2008 2:23:05 PM)

I didn't look for a Master nor would I.

I haven't any list of  *must not do's*..but that's in THIS relationship.

I think most people have things they wouldn't do on the first day, the first week, the first month with someone they don't know terribly well. It's different when you've been with someone for a very long time.

agirl





























MasterTslave -> RE: what do you look for (11/8/2008 2:33:00 PM)

Ability to trust is a BIG one for me.  As far as what my hard limits are...NO kids, NO animals, NO scat play, NO cheating, NO 3 ways, NO ass fisting.  Just ask what your sub wants and get your cues from her.  Chickens are way off limits :)  Unless they are in Marsalla form.



moonvine -> RE: what do you look for ( long post ) (11/8/2008 2:38:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CuddlySadist

And I'm not going to join a gaggle of Doms fawning over the only sub under 450#.









Although I am considerably under 450 pounds, thank you for articulating so nicely one of many reasons I do not play in public.



charly303 -> RE: what do you look for (11/9/2008 10:00:34 AM)

For a serious relationship they've got to fill all the same criterior that I look for in a partner; Trustworthy, loyal, intelligent, sarcastic, fun, the ability to mix a BDSM relationship with a normal life, i.e. being able to spend time with mates, go out clubbing, give time for our own interests and hobbies, interesting, adventurous and willing to experiment with ideas that may be considered taking things too far, patient, attractive.

In terms of just D/s play, I could give a long list but I think the most important is open and honest about what they want from the experience.



NuevaVida -> RE: what do you look for (11/9/2008 10:13:24 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: NazjamRa

What do you look for exactly in a Dom/me?


I didn't/don't look.

quote:


I think that's a fair question but let Me take it one step farther and ask what is a hard limit must not do?

Don't lie. Don't whine.



peppermint -> RE: what do you look for (11/9/2008 10:39:52 AM)

Great sense of humor...without that we are going nowhere.



lusciouslips19 -> RE: what do you look for (11/9/2008 10:43:43 AM)

Someone I can trust. Somone who puts my safety before his fantasies and agenda. Integrity, honor, humor, compassion. Friendship, passion and laughter. Everything I have with Warden.



Usako -> RE: what do you look for (11/9/2008 12:55:09 PM)

Someone I can click with, someone with a sense of humor, someone I can trust, someone who at least has some of the same moral ideas I have, someone who isn't a control freak, of course smart and creative as well. There are other things but I don't feel like making a laundry list.

Limits? Not overly religious or political. No smoking, illegal drugs of any kind and no scat or icky pee in mouth. Other ones, I dunno. I'm an open minded person and depending how much I might trust a person the sky could be the limit.



oceanwynds -> RE: what do you look for (11/9/2008 2:18:42 PM)

I wasn't looking. Neither was he.

I have no tolerance for victim behavior. When i see it, I quit feeding it.. I will take to chasing a chicken first over having to deal with a victim.



mummyman321 -> RE: what do you look for (11/10/2008 5:10:00 PM)

Hmm.....what do I look for...... A Domme clad in tight shiny latex - I am a sucker for it every time[&:][&:][sm=mistress.gif]



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