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RE: what do you look for - 9/9/2008 4:42:51 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

The one thing I can't abide in anyone is the victim mentality where nothing is ever their fault, everyone and everything comsipires to make them miserable, people who are so intent on being right that they can never be happy and are nearly always angry. Has nothing to do with Dominance, I can't stand to be around those kinds of people in any context.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to NazjamRa)

Post #: 21

RE: what do you look for ( long post ) - 9/9/2008 5:30:42 AM

justinlee37

Posts: 5
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline

I feel it worthwhile to point out that the definition of integrity does NOT include being helpful, kind, considerate, or doing the "right" thing. Integrity is simply when your words and your actions mirror each other. In short, it's saying what you mean and meaning what you say (even if you are an evil bastard).

It's within your right to ask for someone who does the "right thing," but that's something different from integrity, so you should make it a separate bullet item for the sake of all the honest, straightforward super-villains in the world.

http://www.answers.com/integrity&r=67

Integrity; "Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code."

(in reply to goodpet)

Post #: 22

RE: what do you look for ( long post ) - 9/9/2008 6:22:57 AM

sunshinedreams

Posts: 181
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline

Genuine awareness of the people in their life. I look for someone who is "keyed in" to other people and acts accordingly in everyday life. If they are clueless about reading body language or tones of voice, then how tuned in will they be while I am tied up and gagged? Just a thought.....

(in reply to justinlee37)

Post #: 23

RE: what do you look for - 9/9/2008 8:12:02 AM

VivaciousSub

Posts: 446
Joined: 9/7/2008
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

The one thing I can't abide in anyone is the victim mentality where nothing is ever their fault, everyone and everything conspires to make them miserable, people who are so intent on being right that they can never be happy and are nearly always angry. Has nothing to do with Dominance, I can't stand to be around those kinds of people in any context.

That sounds so creepily like a former ex of mine that I'm getting "run away!" flashbacks simply reading this!!

He suffered from what my other friends referred to as the victim/hate bullshit complex. He couldn't have dominated me if he tried. I dumped him two years ago and surprise of surprises, he is still single and blames me for it. Says I 'ruined' him. He ruined himself. I'm so glad I'm not around him anymore.

_____________________________

9.8m/s^2 + VivaciousSub + ground = ouchx10^9th

To yield readily--easily--to the persuasion of a friend is no merit.... To yield without conviction is no compliment to the understanding of either. ~ Pride and Prejudice

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 24

RE: what do you look for - 9/9/2008 8:40:05 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NazjamRa

What do you look for exactly in a Dom/me?

I did not look. 'Looking' gives one limitations and makes you miss out and restricts oneself.

quote:

I think that's a fair question but let Me take it one step farther and ask what is a hard limit must not do?

There are no limitations.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to NazjamRa)

Post #: 25

RE: what do you look for - 9/10/2008 7:35:30 AM

TwilightShadows

Posts: 68
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: twilight
Status: offline

My Dom is soft-spoken - I love that. Secondly, he is a family man and takes excellent care of those who rely on him - and he is smart and creative - all very good traits in my opinion.

My hard limits: those who cannot consent like minors and the family pet, scat, tattoos, permanent piercings, mummification, breath play, cages, and for god's sake
DON'T LICK MY EARS.

(in reply to DomDolf)

Post #: 26

RE: what do you look for - 9/10/2008 11:54:36 AM

Aynne88

Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline

Exactly what I found....

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)

(in reply to TwilightShadows)

Post #: 27

RE: what do you look for - 11/8/2008 1:40:05 PM

polygirl50

Posts: 17
Joined: 4/29/2008
Status: offline

if i wasn't taken; i'd be looking for someone who is 20 - 26,friendly,social,good-looking,fun,smart,energetic,and had similar interests as me (both bdsm and vanilla). hard limits would be the opposite of the things i just listed, except the 20 - 26, i can go as high as 35 as long as everything else is in order. plus anyone who really wants to have kids in the future,i don't so that relationship wouldn't go anywhere.

(in reply to DomDolf)

Post #: 28

RE: what do you look for - 11/8/2008 2:23:05 PM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

I didn't look for a Master nor would I.

I haven't any list of *must not do's*..but that's in THIS relationship.

I think most people have things they wouldn't do on the first day, the first week, the first month with someone they don't know terribly well. It's different when you've been with someone for a very long time.

agirl

(in reply to NazjamRa)

Post #: 29

RE: what do you look for - 11/8/2008 2:33:00 PM

MasterTslave

Posts: 200
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

Ability to trust is a BIG one for me. As far as what my hard limits are...NO kids, NO animals, NO scat play, NO cheating, NO 3 ways, NO ass fisting. Just ask what your sub wants and get your cues from her. Chickens are way off limits :) Unless they are in Marsalla form.

(in reply to DomDolf)

Post #: 30

RE: what do you look for ( long post ) - 11/8/2008 2:38:21 PM

moonvine

Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CuddlySadist

And I'm not going to join a gaggle of Doms fawning over the only sub under 450#.

Although I am considerably under 450 pounds, thank you for articulating so nicely one of many reasons I do not play in public.

(in reply to CuddlySadist)

Post #: 31

RE: what do you look for - 11/9/2008 10:00:34 AM

charly303

Posts: 10
Joined: 1/8/2008
Status: offline

For a serious relationship they've got to fill all the same criterior that I look for in a partner; Trustworthy, loyal, intelligent, sarcastic, fun, the ability to mix a BDSM relationship with a normal life, i.e. being able to spend time with mates, go out clubbing, give time for our own interests and hobbies, interesting, adventurous and willing to experiment with ideas that may be considered taking things too far, patient, attractive.

In terms of just D/s play, I could give a long list but I think the most important is open and honest about what they want from the experience.

(in reply to DomDolf)

Post #: 32

RE: what do you look for - 11/9/2008 10:13:24 AM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NazjamRa

What do you look for exactly in a Dom/me?

I didn't/don't look.

quote:

I think that's a fair question but let Me take it one step farther and ask what is a hard limit must not do?

Don't lie. Don't whine.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to NazjamRa)

Post #: 33

RE: what do you look for - 11/9/2008 10:39:52 AM

peppermint

Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

Great sense of humor...without that we are going nowhere.

(in reply to NazjamRa)

Post #: 34

RE: what do you look for - 11/9/2008 10:43:43 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

Someone I can trust. Somone who puts my safety before his fantasies and agenda. Integrity, honor, humor, compassion. Friendship, passion and laughter. Everything I have with Warden.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to peppermint)

Post #: 35

RE: what do you look for - 11/9/2008 12:55:09 PM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

Someone I can click with, someone with a sense of humor, someone I can trust, someone who at least has some of the same moral ideas I have, someone who isn't a control freak, of course smart and creative as well. There are other things but I don't feel like making a laundry list.

Limits? Not overly religious or political. No smoking, illegal drugs of any kind and no scat or icky pee in mouth. Other ones, I dunno. I'm an open minded person and depending how much I might trust a person the sky could be the limit.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 36

RE: what do you look for - 11/9/2008 2:18:42 PM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

I wasn't looking. Neither was he.

I have no tolerance for victim behavior. When i see it, I quit feeding it.. I will take to chasing a chicken first over having to deal with a victim.

(in reply to Usako)

Post #: 37

RE: what do you look for - 11/10/2008 5:10:00 PM

mummyman321

Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline

Hmm.....what do I look for...... A Domme clad in tight shiny latex - I am a sucker for it every time

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

(in reply to oceanwynds)

Post #: 38

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