RE: Being watched.. (Full Version)

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Krasnaya -> RE: Being watched.. (11/28/2005 11:07:17 AM)

Patience I wish I had myself..



Focus50 -> RE: Being watched.. (12/1/2005 1:19:09 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

i'm developing a crush on Focus; such thoughtful posts. $5 if You'll add Yourself to my Admirer's List, LMAO.

candystripper

Then it's not a very long queue you've joined and, besides, I can't be bought *that* easily (or cheaply.... lol) so I did it for free - I think????

There's still a lot about this site I find complicated or confusing and bringing up your profile and clicking "Admirers" just brought up some other fem/sub's profile I'm not familiar with.... So I added you to Favourites to make sure, k? [:)]

Focus.



Rassitter -> RE: Being watched.. (12/1/2005 10:33:32 AM)

My 2 cents (Not sure if it's worth even that, but here goes)

I know it is not easy, (Most things worth doing are not) but try to pretend she is not there. Perhaps a blindfold would help, maybe an ipod with headphones. Unless she is specifically asking for a show, I disagree that a show should be put on. What I have heard, is that she has asked you to masturbate in front of her. you should. you should do what you normally do, and what turns you on. This person may be trying to get insight into what you enjoy, and if you are not doing something you normally would do, or are doing something you don not like, because you think it may be hotter for them, then it will not work and the object of the exercise is lost. I would discuss what is the ultimate goal of doing this, open communication is the key. I would get much more out of a session, knowing the sub was really getting off, and seeing how she is going about it, eventually getting her to the stage that she can talk to me while doing it, and telling me her thoughts as she is doing it rather than having her try to gage my feelings and put on a show to match them.

But then again, maybe they just want a show for their viewing pleasure. Ultimately, you need to ask.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Krasnaya

Ok so here is my problem...

I'm dating someone who wants to watch me touch myself. The reason it's so good alone is that you can just focus on yourself and what you like. How can I get out of my head long enough to stop worrying about how it is for the person watching? I mean if I'm doing it for her because she asked...it's not really about me anymore. It's just hard to enjoy it in the same way with someone there. Anyone else know how this feels or how to deal with it?




fldrkhorse -> RE: Being watched.. (12/1/2005 10:49:04 AM)

Shheeesh..seems I'm the only exhibitionist here, I feel so naughty.



plantlady64 -> RE: Being watched.. (12/1/2005 11:04:45 AM)

Hello There,
I agree with the concept
quote:

"Your" headspace, when told to touch yourself, to masterbate _for_ your partner, isn't just "your" headspace anymore. Use the opportunity to turn yourself WAY on. Striptease for your partner and then take it the next step and play with yourself for her enjoyment. You are right, it isn't "about" you... it's about pleasing HER. So get busy and start pleasing! Fantasize or whatever, but put the show on _for_ her.

the only problem is I use to have a mental block on being able to pleasure myself to orgasm alone or in front of someone. It's only been in the last three months I could play with myself with toys and cum even when I was alone. I'm mostly a skin to skin contact person for arousal to really kick in enough for me to get to the right headspace.
Once I got past cuming alone to cum in front of my Master while I mastrubated was a deep desire for me. It took till last night to finally have that happen though I'd been trying for months.

Yes, it does make it something not just for you when you please yourself for her benefit, but that's the point of her request. If you belong to your Dom/Domme than nothing you do should be just about you any more. All the sexual gratification you enjoy should be felt as she wants you to and permits you to participate in.

I think most Dom/Dommes want their sub/slaves to mastrubate in front of them partially because nothing we have should be private from them and they want to reinforce your privacy is theirs to violate any time they choose as you belong to them, and also to understand stroke, tempo and how you like your special spots rubbed to be able to give you more pleasure when they afford you their touch.


Be a good boy and please yourself very sexy for her. Don't make it about if you cum, but more about being as slutty and sultry as you can. Make her want to reach out and grab you with the desire you build in her. I'm sure her approval will be worth the effort. You'll get past being shy about it eventually.

Sincerely,
sub suzanne





Krasnaya -> RE: Being watched.. (12/1/2005 11:40:30 AM)

Wow just a quick update..

People! Do this! I'm so glad that I got past the random shyness because it brought us that much closer. That and it's nice to know that it's is so much fun for my partner AND me. If anyone is wanting to try this with a partner that is unsure just remember praise, praise, praise.

Someone mentioned that not putting on a show and just doing what I like would be best. Amen.
I never realized how many things that maybe someone wouldn't think to do to that I do alone...and they are just as good if someone else is involved.

Pleasantly Surprised.

(Rassitter...had to edit to add a thanks for the good advice)



plantlady64 -> RE: Being watched.. (12/1/2005 12:47:56 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Krasnaya

Wow just a quick update..

People! Do this! I'm so glad that I got past the random shyness because it brought us that much closer. That and it's nice to know that it's is so much fun for my partner AND me. If anyone is wanting to try this with a partner that is unsure just remember praise, praise, praise.

Someone mentioned that not putting on a show and just doing what I like would be best. Amen.
I never realized how many things that maybe someone wouldn't think to do to that I do alone...and they are just as good if someone else is involved.

Pleasantly Surprised.

(Rassitter...had to edit to add a thanks for the good advice)

Whooooo Hooooo, Congratulations!!!
sub suzanne



Krasnaya -> RE: Being watched.. (12/1/2005 1:25:05 PM)

[:)] Thanks!



LadyCompassion -> RE: Being watched.. (12/3/2005 5:37:25 AM)

quote:

Anyone else know how this feels or how to deal with it?


I know how you feel, I feel that way myself. My significant other wants to watch me touch myself and I am very uncomfortable with it. First of all, because that is something which is very personal to me and second of all, it is for me...if it was for him, I would have him doing it.



plantlady64 -> RE: Being watched.. (12/3/2005 5:46:52 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyCompassion

quote:

Anyone else know how this feels or how to deal with it?


I know how you feel, I feel that way myself. My significant other wants to watch me touch myself and I am very uncomfortable with it. First of all, because that is something which is very personal to me and second of all, it is for me...if it was for him, I would have him doing it.

Hello Lady Compassion,
As you list ourself as a Dominant that make it a little different in my opinion. You as the top are in control of how the two of you play. It's up to ou to decide what's necessary and how to play together.

I see you don't live 24/7 in this mindset, but rather are dabbeling in the lifestyle some. For you to withold your mastrubation from having your boyfriend as an audience is your chioce to make hwen you are in charge.
I'd like to mention to you that mastrubating by yourself is indeed for you, but mastrubating in front of your lover is for the both of you. If you could relax enough to get into playing with yourself in front of your boyfriend not only would you turn him on, you'd be teaching him how to rub your hot spots just right.

I say relax and enjoy your body in front of him. It will only help you grow in your sensual abilities with your guy.

Sincerely,
sub suzanne



Rassitter -> RE: Being watched.. (12/3/2005 7:46:11 AM)

Good for you,

Sounds like you had a really positive experience and got to share something very special with another.

I am very happy for you.



Sensualips -> RE: Being watched.. (12/3/2005 8:13:43 AM)

That is evil, John. Left hand, no buzzy toys...I'd never get there!



Krasnaya -> RE: Being watched.. (12/3/2005 8:44:52 AM)

Left hand would really just piss me off and I'd demand help. If I can't write with it....



Krasnaya -> RE: Being watched.. (12/3/2005 8:47:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyCompassion

quote:

Anyone else know how this feels or how to deal with it?


I know how you feel, I feel that way myself. My significant other wants to watch me touch myself and I am very uncomfortable with it. First of all, because that is something which is very personal to me and second of all, it is for me...if it was for him, I would have him doing it.


I absolutely agree with it being very personal. It's not something I hope your partner is suggesting you give up for yourself. I do think it might make your sex life even better because they can learn a thing or two from you. That is rarely a bad thing.



tedibare -> RE: Being watched.. (12/3/2005 1:28:16 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetpettjenny

i personally am ok masturbating in front of my partner (when i have one) , but if they expect me to talk during it i totally lose the space to be able to cum.


boy am i so glad thats not just *me* being required to talk at all during play can bring me almost completely out of space, talking during sex is the same thing...

tedi



Krasnaya -> RE: Being watched.. (12/3/2005 2:38:52 PM)

Well then you're trying, and well if it's me, it'll never happen. Sex...maybe.



MastersBabieGirl -> RE: Being watched.. (12/3/2005 2:58:34 PM)

omg i have the best time when i masterbate infront of mine
infact he has gotten me soo into it i cant seem to get off without him watching or thinking he is watching
took quite some time to get comfortable doing it and we did it in stages but damn sooo worth it id never go back



KittenWithaTwist -> RE: Being watched.. (12/3/2005 6:21:26 PM)

All I can say is, I'm with you. I fantasize about masturbating in front of my Master, but I never have. I can't masturbate to orgasm so I really think I'd be pretty boring. I also don't think I'd be particularly attractive, doing my thing under the blanket while half-assed watching television before I fall asleep.

I also disagree with other posters that a D/s relationship makes embarassment go away. For me, it makes embarassment sooo much worse. I have to a) admit that I like being touched, b) admit that I want to be touched, c) beg him to watch me, d) have him watch me, and e) worry about his approval and reactions.

I don't stop thinking just because I'm his property.



LindaLashes -> RE: Being watched.. (12/3/2005 8:50:34 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren


quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetpettjenny

i personally am ok masturbating in front of my partner (when i have one) , but if they expect me to talk during it i totally lose the space to be able to cum.


[grin] and this is a bad thing?

A pleasant little diversion is to bind a partner except for her nondominant arm and have her masturbate. The frustration is lovely.




Grrr that´s ingenious [:)] very nasty



EvilGeoff -> RE: Being watched.. (12/3/2005 10:13:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: fldrkhorse

Shheeesh..seems I'm the only exhibitionist here, I feel so naughty.


Oh rest assured that you are NOT the only exhibitionist here. In fact, when it comes to SM play, the bigger the audience, the better I like it. I draw energy from the audience and get that much more into the scene and give that much more energy back out of. OMG I can get into some seriously intense play with an audience.

With sex I am a little more shy, but that's because of self-image issues. With a cane or flogger in my hand I don't give a rat's ass who is watching me or how they think I look. But stripping and fucking with a crowd makes me self conscious. Go figure. another couple or two who are going at it also, doesn't bother so much but I don't think Mr Happy would _BE_ happy with 50 on lookers... *LOL*

YIK,
- Geoff



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