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finding a Mistress - 11/27/2005 9:55:50 PM   
patrick888


Posts: 1
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline
i am hoping if some one can tell me what a munch group is i am very new to all of this and i have never heard of a munch group i am also looking to get to know a Mistress but have found it very hard to get any to talk to me i never disrepect them or anything can someone give me a pointer
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RE: finding a Mistress - 11/27/2005 9:59:32 PM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

i am hoping if some one can tell me what a munch group is i am very new to all of this and i have never heard of a munch group i am also looking to get to know a Mistress but have found it very hard to get any to talk to me i never disrepect them or anything can someone give me a pointer



A munch is just a casual social get together at a restaurant of kinky people. It's a comfortable way to go out and meet others in the lifestyle in public, have a meal, chat a bit. Most areas have at least a couple munches that can easily be found by doing a search online for "bdsm munch" + your area.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to patrick888)
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RE: finding a Mistress - 11/27/2005 10:00:18 PM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline
simply...a group of folks close to you, that meet somewhere like once a month...and it is where ya kinda get to let your hair down and be the real you....w/o being made fun of.


supposedly.
=====
i never had the chance.

where "I" came from they were all snooty and thought they walked on water.....

take care
best wishes


_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



(in reply to patrick888)
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RE: finding a Mistress - 11/27/2005 10:32:53 PM   
jamesthehumanrug


Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline
greetings ,dear pat rick,
i don't know;
i hear every one talking munch -all the time -but, i still dont know what it is.
there's no way you can get pointers ,on how to pick up "a dom"
they are wise guys ,you have, to have thick skin,if they know,that's what you're looking for...,and,they are egotisitical(,at least more ,than you ) ;arrogant ,in some way;pure ,to die for ,and, i'm afraid a dom don't act like they NEEED you....
,but, you approach them like womin who have ,to be swept ,off their feet ,and ,you got them.

_____________________________

I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to patrick888)
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RE: finding a Mistress - 11/27/2005 10:36:16 PM   
DreamyLadySnow


Posts: 359
Joined: 1/23/2005
Status: offline
My local group has two munches a month that are open the new and teh curious. Board members, and others, are always available to answer questions.
I've found them a great way to make friends and learn; less useful for finding a boy. The reason? Sub boys are afraid to go.
Amazingly, those are teh places wehre dommes hang out.
I say you are shopping for something, go to it's hangou.

My two cents, 1.9 us.

lS

(in reply to jamesthehumanrug)
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RE: finding a Mistress - 11/27/2005 10:59:33 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
I get to talk with dominant women all the time and there are several thing that seem consistent across the board.

First, and most important, they want to be important to you as people not as a satisifaction for your needs. A common complaint is "I am not a life support system for a whip." When you meet them use common courtesy and talk to them like a person, once you have met enough so you can decide, pick one and make your approach. Listen to her, take what she says to heart and act on it.

We had a panel discussion at BDS about finding a dominant woman and Line, a lovely lady, said clearly, "Don't talk to me about your needs up front. Talk to me about things that will let me know what kind of person you are." A few minutes later, we had a break, a guy walked up to her and said "I like to have a woman walk on me; would you do that for me?"

Second, they want a valued man. This is best summed up by one who said, "I don't want a man on his knees; I want to put him on his knees." Be special, be confident.

Third, they want a man they can be proud to be seen with. This doesn't mean a Vogue model, but someone who dresses well, takes care of his appearance and doesn't do things that make them cringe.

In short, dominant woman are women.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to patrick888)
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RE: finding a Mistress - 11/28/2005 5:33:32 AM   
RosaB


Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline
Is anyone listening? Cause this is exactly what most want, but none want to hear. We've said it numorous times only to be ignored repeatedly.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

I get to talk with dominant women all the time and there are several thing that seem consistent across the board.

First, and most important, they want to be important to you as people not as a satisifaction for your needs. A common complaint is "I am not a life support system for a whip." When you meet them use common courtesy and talk to them like a person, once you have met enough so you can decide, pick one and make your approach. Listen to her, take what she says to heart and act on it.

We had a panel discussion at BDS about finding a dominant woman and Line, a lovely lady, said clearly, "Don't talk to me about your needs up front. Talk to me about things that will let me know what kind of person you are." A few minutes later, we had a break, a guy walked up to her and said "I like to have a woman walk on me; would you do that for me?"

Second, they want a valued man. This is best summed up by one who said, "I don't want a man on his knees; I want to put him on his knees." Be special, be confident.

Third, they want a man they can be proud to be seen with. This doesn't mean a Vogue model, but someone who dresses well, takes care of his appearance and doesn't do things that make them cringe.

In short, dominant woman are women.


(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: finding a Mistress - 11/28/2005 3:26:12 PM   
HouseofBear


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline
What do I look for in a male submissive....it is much as has already been described. One who has good manners, is confident (why would I want to own someone who thinks they are less than dirt????), has good hygiene, is neat in their appearance, wants more out of a relationship than for me to get their rocks off, is articulate, intelligent, creative, thoughtful, is capable of taking care of their own financial needs, just to mention a few things, chuckles.

Lady Ursa

(in reply to RosaB)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: finding a Mistress - 11/28/2005 4:11:06 PM   
onceburned


Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: patrick888
i am hoping if some one can tell me what a munch group is i am very new to all of this and i have never heard of a munch group i am also looking to get to know a Mistress but have found it very hard to get any to talk to me i never disrepect them or anything can someone give me a pointer


Sure! Your questions are common and natural. Fortunately, lots of folks have been willing to supply answers.

Jay Wiseman, wrote a nice online article: A Beginner’s Guide to BDSM Munches

Two of our esteemed Dominas, MaitresseEden and LadyAngelika, have written a useful guide for male submissives: 10 Steps For Making A Good First Impression

A common problem afflicting male submissives is that they can be submissive - passive to the point that the dominant women they want to attract don't notice them.
How Nice Guys Can Stop Finishing Last urges guys to snap out of it.

Well, that ought to get you started. Welcome to Collarme! We have a great group of people here. I hope you post more questions or observations and join in the discussions.

(in reply to patrick888)
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RE: finding a Mistress - 11/28/2005 11:48:11 PM   
Slaveboiz


Posts: 38
Joined: 4/19/2005
Status: offline
If i may say so in response to 'finding a Mistress"

Not to sound to overly criticle here but i think what is most lacking in those seeking a Mistress with no results or many rejections has alot to do with basic manners...i dont wish to over simplify the dynamics between and Mistress and her potential sub / slave but there it is... when we are not taught basic manners as kids we it is foreign to us.... i have often wondered for all the commplaining about not being able to find a "good domme" whether its a matter of not knowing the basics.

i gave a class once on "Romancing the Domme" to a group of male subs... most of it came for a well known book on manners.. it is so simple to pick one up and skim through it... and then applying it... its amazing where a little respect and the show of good manners will take you...in life and in your search for a Mistress. and no chivalry is not dead in the Dommes world..

slave ziggy
SE slave 2006

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 10
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