A new Master and experienced slave...

A new Master and experienced slave... (Full Version)

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Shylahgirl -> A new Master and experienced slave... (9/7/2008 11:59:37 PM)
Ok, here’s the back story to my question: I am a slave, duh…. lol… and my Master and I are just starting out our relationship. I am his first slave and first D/s relationship, kind of a testing the water experiment for him. I was a 24/7 slave for a little over 2 years to a very experienced Master before I met my current Master. (Confused yet?) He’s been in the lifestyle for going on 5 years, but always felt switchier and dated mainly dominant women. We were dating for 5 months before we decided to change or relationship dynamic. After a weekend at a BDSM event where I was in service to him (3 months ago). He is very sweet and loving and cares for me much like a Daddy would, which I enjoy. I do feel that he is the dominant side of the relationship as does he. We have had very open communication and at least try to check in on how each of us is feeling about whats being done. And now for the question: Master, although he is the Master and we both acknowledge that, still asks me questions on how to do things as far as “dominating” me. Is this something you think he’ll get past eventually as he becomes more comfortable in his role as a Master? Am I a bad girl for being impatient for him to be more assertive sooner? Shylah

Sunnyfey -> RE: A new Master and experienced slave... (9/8/2008 12:40:39 AM)
no your nto bad for wanting more quicker then he is. But you have to allow for the fact he is new. Besides in all relationships D/s or not we all ask question about how to please the other person.... Just relax and help him learn...you'll be fine. I also suggest takeing him to workshops and such and public fetish shows, so he can learn from watching others too

Shylahgirl -> RE: A new Master and experienced slave... (9/8/2008 12:47:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey no your nto bad for wanting more quicker then he is. But you have to allow for the fact he is new. Besides in all relationships D/s or not we all ask question about how to please the other person.... Just relax and help him learn...you'll be fine. I also suggest takeing him to workshops and such and public fetish shows, so he can learn from watching others too Thank you, Sunnyfey O, I forgot to mention in my original post that we are both heavily involved in the local community. Another question... because he is wanting to learn how to except my service and be my Master, he asks questions of many other Masters in our community... including my former Master. They tease me fr choosing a less experienced Master. My Master tell me to just laugh and it's all in fun... but I really do get defensive over the jokes at his and my expense. Am I being disobedient for wanting to defend him when another Master makes a joke? Shylah

Sunnyfey -> RE: A new Master and experienced slave... (9/8/2008 12:50:50 AM)
not at all! Thats a knee jerk reaction to hearing something bad about the person you love. Even if they ARE jokes, you still get defensive its NOT a bad thing, just keep your wits about you and you can pull of something polite but maybe still a little biteing towards the person you dont like who is being an ass. but if its all in fun between friends, you can always mentrion the stories you've heard abouth them when they were new....heheee. Just remind them they were new at one point in time too.

Prinsexx -> RE: A new Master and experienced slave... (9/8/2008 1:29:39 AM)
quote: Master, although he is the Master and we both acknowledge that, still asks me questions on how to do things as far as “dominating” me. Is this something you think he’ll get past eventually as he becomes more comfortable in his role as a Master? i think that most of us change relationship rather than change dynamic within th same relationship, perhaps? Anyway it's really rather assuring isn't it to think that the relationship itself is paramount and has withstood a change in orientation. i've never had anyway of knowing BEFORE a relationship has begun what sort of (or how many years etc) a dominant has had within the 'lifestyle'. personally i feel that so-called experience is much overrated since in all actuality when a relationship is new then neither party(ies0 has experience of the other. furthermore prior experience can sometimes imprint itself and have a negative effect on a new dynamic. This might not be so with regard to simple skill based sensation but it is certainly so of emotional experience. The less baggage the better i suppose. But in any case there are some processes that can be asked for and initiated by a master. i rarely ask for anything (such as cane me master please i have been a bad girl types tuff0 but ui have asked for confession time. i've asked for confession time for a 'bundle' of emotional reasons some of which were; 1. to ease my conscience (feeling that i genuinely have exceeded my riole in the past) 2. feel proud of my experiences and want to off load these rather more positive feelings 3. simply wanted to let my D type know what i have done (eg my experience) and to let nmy d type know what other partners' experiences are. 4. used my confession time to 'ask' for processes in a way that doesn't break the current dynamic. anyway it's HOT having being prostrate, having Master standing on my hair with bare feet, barely able to move, but confessing past 'crimes'...... PS it usually takes more than one session of confession to get the job done....but it depends on how bad a bad girl you have been. Other processes can/could be tacked on or different forms of confession time utilised. A Confession Journal is also a very good way for your Master to get to know what you have been up to, what you like and don't like. Not that your likes or dislikes top: His do. Best of wishes and good karma for you and YOUR Master.

DesFIP -> RE: A new Master and experienced slave... (9/8/2008 3:45:50 AM)
Nothing wrong in saying you went for the chemistry or that everyone was new once, and aren't they grateful that someone took a chance on them when they were new. Beyond that, any time two people get together they are new to each other. They have to learn about each other. He'll stop asking questions after he's learned enough and has sufficient history with you to be able to depend upon his knowledge of you without checking in with you. Just give it time.

chamberqueen -> RE: A new Master and experienced slave... (9/8/2008 6:31:40 AM)
Wanting to defend him shows your loyalty - never be ashamed of that. I am sure that as time goes by he will become more assertive and know more about your needs. It is not "wrong" for you to wish for that. Obviously, something about him attracted you to him and you just need to build on that.

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