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RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 11/29/2005 9:49:34 AM   
SoulBelow


Posts: 30
Joined: 11/8/2005
Status: offline 		I am owned. If my master asked me to call another Dom master or sir then I would but he never has. I belong to him and only he has earned my love and respect and the right to put me on my knees. I am respectful people but I can only submit to people I have infinite love and respect for, my master cares for me and would never let anyone treat me disrespectfully either.

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 11/29/2005 10:49:58 AM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
Nice to see You again Sir. This actually went on in the '70's; it was called "swinging'. Never held any appeal for me...and now with the proliferation of incurable std's seems no more than a fantasy.


Swinging is very much alive today and it probably is a lot more mainstream then it was in the 70's. Still, it very much was, and is, a "no means no" environment. While there surely were (and are) random orgies where anything goes, it doesn't quite match up to the Story of O - Chateau fantasy I am envisioning. Nubile slave girls walking around, ready to serve whomever commanded.

I imagine that the Old Guard lifestyle of the 40s-60s would more closely match my fantasy, but then it would be mostly leather men, and that just doesn't work for me either. *smile*

The again, there is more of the "slave to one Master means slave to all Masters" in the Gorean philosophy...which is one of the reasons I have always felt a certain affinity to things Gorean.

I guess I just don't put as much value in a submission that is focused simply to one. I think it is much harder, rarer, and hence, more valuable, to be a slave that serves because s/he must, not because s/he is in love.

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.


My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 11/29/2005 11:00:20 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		Politics and Prejudices exist everywhere, I don't mingle in the testosterone triangle as we lovingly call it--for that reason---what goes on is between you T/two and only your best friends will understand and accept---

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to infyniti)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 11/29/2005 11:33:21 AM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline
quote:

Ya know...I think a group of folks where the subs were sub to all could actually be really cool. Of course, it would have to be a select group, and those who were looking for a "the One" type BDSM relationship would have to be excluded...but it could make for a fun party, a neat porn movie, and quite possibly a nasty rash on my dangly bits.

TallDarkAndWitty/Taggart



Surprisingly, I agree with this ;) I have definatly fantasies and ideas about setting up a situation where that is the expectation and behavior, however, as with most people who have commented it would be a spesific situation/setting as opposed to "normal" general interaction.

Overall, I'm polite to everyone. Respect? Meh. I respect people as humans, but I don't go around with general 'respect' in my attiude toward everyone I meet. My respect is generally reserved for people who move me strongly. Teachers, for example. Human politeness goes to everyone unless they are very drastically rude to me.

I obey my partner and the people he wants me to obey. ~shrug~

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 11/29/2005 12:01:08 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Forties, Fifties and Sixties. In many of the groups we call the Old Guard, newbies were expected to be sexually available to everyone with more seniority than they. This is one of the main reasons these groups no longer exist.

JohnWarren


O Sir, surely not, ^laughs^. My parents had sex exactly twice; thusly producing my brother and i. All that having her sitting in his lap, kissing, dancing; well...i just don't think my parents had sex more than twice, ROFLMAO.

Our family continues this tradition. My kid has said things that make it clear she believes my sex life ended when i divorced her father, LMAO. i of course pretend she's a virgin.

Sexual dysfunction junction -- hell, we run the comcession stand, LOL.

candystripper

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 11/29/2005 1:01:50 PM   
Dracironsgirl


Posts: 175
Joined: 7/2/2005
Status: offline 		thas a very interesting question, i call all Doms by Sir as a show of respect, but i do not treat them the same as i do Master of course. i just thought that is what ou're suppose to do.

_____________________________

~love a Man in control~

(in reply to infyniti)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 11/29/2005 1:03:16 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dracironsgirl

thas a very interesting question, i call all Doms by Sir as a show of respect, but i do not treat them the same as i do Master of course. i just thought that is what ou're suppose to do.

Nope, not unless your dom has told you.

(in reply to Dracironsgirl)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 12/5/2005 11:45:07 PM   
Draciron


Posts: 21
Joined: 12/28/2004
Status: offline 		For a comunity that has such love of ritual and rules there are many cross definitions of terms and decorum. The reality is we truly are more expressive and individualistic than nillas. Though this expression and individualism that is so embraced leads to contradictions such as this post.

As a firm rule do what your Master says.

If you have no Master then.

As a general rule if you are Gorian then the proper address for any Dom is Sir. The closer you are to Gorian the more likely that this will be the proper salutation for any Dom. The stricter and more rigid the Dom the more they are likely to enforce this. As a Master I do not expect to be called Sir by any but my slave. That and as I age by youngsters reminding me I am crossing into the realms of "in my day".

This general rule of thumb does change at events. It is respectfull to use the term of address that is befitting the occasion. So at an auction Sir is normally the correct salutation. At a munch around quite a few nillas Sir might be fun shock value but it should not be required. For a Masterless slave it would help denote a slave's position to let others know their status. So it has function even at an event surrounded by nillas but not to the point where it could damage job prospects or otherwise harm one.

Most often addressing a Master as Sir will not be construed as a sign of interest. Unfortunately there are many to whom uttering those words do seem that way. The less experienced th Dom the more likely it will be misconstrued. This is also where you run into individualism. For some Dom's they expect and wish only their sub to address them as Sir. So in a private convo ask. It is no disrespect to the Master and is an excellent opportunity for the Master to show both style and substance. For a sub to inflict their interpitatin upon a Master can be disrespectfull. If they are insulted at such a question you have save yourself lots of time by knowing instantly this was not the one. After all it IS a Master's duty to instruct is it not?

Hopefully that helped clarify the issue some.


< Message edited by Draciron -- 12/5/2005 11:48:27 PM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 12/6/2005 12:55:51 AM   
Wolfie648


Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Every human being is entitled to be treated with respect, unless by their own acts, they set themselves outside the pale -- pedophiles, abusive men, murderers, etc.


Every human being is entitled to be treated with respect (and a lot of other things (U.N. Charter of Rights) - 'unless by their own acts'...

they _Choose_ to be who they want to be.

Owned by us 'pale' oxygen sucking algae scum. I do need to work on my tan! Ack green or brown? Which season is it?

This is _Not_ me condoning the acts of those that would hurt those that do not/cannot 'consent'. Children, mentally/physically 'challenged' (you'd probably be sadly surprised as to the stats - and no it wasn't a topic of particular interest to me - I dated a person in a wheelchair once - great woman), victims of murder/rape/sodomy/violence/ intellectual degradation/don't get me started on keeping the poor down (way off topic and yet is it? Where does 'responsibility for others' end.), etc., etc., etc. (unfortunately the human race is prolific in it's creation of suffering), and animals. This is me attempting to describe the distinction between those who accept consent and those who don't care if it's given or not. Pale, tanned, bleached, dyed or otherwise.

D (owner of j)

_____________________________

Possibly.

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 12/6/2005 3:34:03 AM   
sweetpettjenny


Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		I am in new England , and by no means am i submissive to anyone except the man who collars me. I am well respected and welcomed in the scene, but really because i am not a push over. Don't get me wrong , when i was collared last i earned less respect because i allowed his negative behavior to rule over me with disrespect. I find that New England has a Great scene , with lots of welcoming people.
quote:

ORIGINAL: infyniti

Do others expect submissives to be submissive to ALL Dominants? I have come across my share of people who believe this to be true. " Submissives do not talk to Dominants like that." I do not subscribe to that mentality. Apparently this has caused some people to either label me " Dom" or state that I have no respect for other Doms.
All this seems to far from reality for me. Respect is earned. I have one Dom and do not submit to others nor am i expected to. This causes problem in group settings. Why? Other Doms. do not get " yes Sir" No sir, or master anything in conversation. I am polite and treat everyone as i would someone in a work setting. It seems that this area of New England has the attitude of " Pass the sub, please" Considering Master and i do not entertain this thought processs we have been talked about, left out and pretty much are not the people that are invited to the party.

What do others expect in a social group setting? My Master expects me to treat him in a special way, he does not want me to treat ALL in the same way. This has caused us to become quite the " solo" couple. It just amazes me that some people can say they are Dom and just expect the world to bow down to them.



(in reply to infyniti)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 12/6/2005 3:36:16 AM   
sweetpettjenny


Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		funny...the general rule at my club(private club) is be respectful of all , but there is only 3 people i call Sir or ma'am to there. Its my choice who i respect enough to earn a title other than their first name.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Draciron

For a comunity that has such love of ritual and rules there are many cross definitions of terms and decorum. The reality is we truly are more expressive and individualistic than nillas. Though this expression and individualism that is so embraced leads to contradictions such as this post.

As a firm rule do what your Master says.

If you have no Master then.

As a general rule if you are Gorian then the proper address for any Dom is Sir. The closer you are to Gorian the more likely that this will be the proper salutation for any Dom. The stricter and more rigid the Dom the more they are likely to enforce this. As a Master I do not expect to be called Sir by any but my slave. That and as I age by youngsters reminding me I am crossing into the realms of "in my day".

This general rule of thumb does change at events. It is respectfull to use the term of address that is befitting the occasion. So at an auction Sir is normally the correct salutation. At a munch around quite a few nillas Sir might be fun shock value but it should not be required. For a Masterless slave it would help denote a slave's position to let others know their status. So it has function even at an event surrounded by nillas but not to the point where it could damage job prospects or otherwise harm one.

Most often addressing a Master as Sir will not be construed as a sign of interest. Unfortunately there are many to whom uttering those words do seem that way. The less experienced th Dom the more likely it will be misconstrued. This is also where you run into individualism. For some Dom's they expect and wish only their sub to address them as Sir. So in a private convo ask. It is no disrespect to the Master and is an excellent opportunity for the Master to show both style and substance. For a sub to inflict their interpitatin upon a Master can be disrespectfull. If they are insulted at such a question you have save yourself lots of time by knowing instantly this was not the one. After all it IS a Master's duty to instruct is it not?

Hopefully that helped clarify the issue some.



(in reply to Draciron)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 12/6/2005 6:17:40 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Draciron
The reality is we truly are more expressive and individualistic than nillas.

No we aren't.

quote:

This general rule of thumb does change at events. It is respectfull to use the term of address that is befitting the occasion. So at an auction Sir is normally the correct salutation. At a munch around quite a few nillas Sir might be fun shock value but it should not be required. For a Masterless slave it would help denote a slave's position to let others know their status. So it has function even at an event surrounded by nillas but not to the point where it could damage job prospects or otherwise harm one.

It depends on the event. Most events I go to, no one uses any honorifics unless there is a very specific pesonal relationship between eachother. Also, there are a lot of switches in our group and not always a lot of ownership symbols. So, unless you want to take the time to ask, and have some arbitrary system of how you use a switch status to relate to a specific honorific, it's generally just good to use your vanilla manners everywhere.

quote:

For a sub to inflict their interpitatin upon a Master can be disrespectfull. If they are insulted at such a question you have save yourself lots of time by knowing instantly this was not the one. After all it IS a Master's duty to instruct is it not?

No it's not. Certainly not if they aren't in a relationship with you specifically.

I think it's nice if we all help eachother out and lend our own voices to a situation. But it's certainly not some random masters duty to try and instruct me on how to get along.


< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 12/6/2005 6:18:32 AM >

(in reply to Draciron)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 12/6/2005 9:13:38 PM   
meridia


Posts: 18
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: infyniti

Do others expect submissives to be submissive to ALL Dominants?


i can tell you this much, my Master expects me to be submissive to him when he's in Master-mode, but he certainly does not expect, nor want, me to be submissive to anyone and everyone else. he loves it when i stand up to people, especially idiots who think just because i'm in a corset it's ok to leer and drool. when we're not in pure Master/slave mode, he and i are equal in how things like the house chores are done (for all he teases me about being barefoot in the kitchen and fetching him beer and dinner).

basically, i am sub, but i am HIS sub and no one else's. even if by some chance we ended up in a situation where he gave me to someone else, there is no way i could give the other Dom/me or Master the same level of release of power that i can give to him. i don't care if it makes me a bad sub in the other's eyes... i am his.

_____________________________

why couldn't you just put the bunny back in the box?

(in reply to infyniti)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 1/6/2006 11:31:40 AM   
domdra9on


Posts: 1
Joined: 9/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Do others expect submissives to be submissive to ALL Dominants? ... All this seems to far from reality for me. Respect is earned. I have one Dom and do not submit to others nor am i expected to. This causes problem in group settings. Why? Other Doms. do not get " yes Sir" No sir, or master anything in conversation. ... It seems that this area of New England has the attitude of " Pass the sub, please"



We belong to a number of groups in the area and I must honestly say, we have never found this to be the case. There are a few clueless individuals, but they are the exception, not the rule

(in reply to infyniti)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 1/8/2006 6:32:17 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		I do not expect My submissive to be submissive to all, My rule of thumb is basic human dignity, but if someone treats Me or him badly--they are off the A list--we would not do it in life why should we do it in the Life--I have though seen Dom/mes who expect all sub/slaves bow to them no matter--poppycock IMHO--there may be a time when he is to show deference to someone, but they would be dear friends and the deference would be returned---

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to infyniti)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 1/8/2006 7:59:47 AM   
LokisBrat


Posts: 431
Joined: 12/5/2005
From: Mayberry, Illinois
Status: offline 		My brat is mine and mine alone.
If I were to allow another assist, they would have to be brought to speed on what was acceptable and what was not.


*evil grin* Although, I do like the idea of parading her into a room blindfolded with several spectators bidding on her outcome and highest bidder will be able to direct through me what they would like to see. (yes, I think I like this idea)

_____________________________

"My pleasure, your pain. Doesn't matter, its all the same"

-Loki

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 1/8/2006 8:03:39 AM   
krikket


Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: infyniti

Do others expect submissives to be submissive to ALL Dominants?


They can expect all they want, but chances are they're not gonna get it. They will, however, receive the same carefully respectful and polite response i give to most.

regards
j

(in reply to infyniti)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 1/8/2006 8:33:42 AM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline 		yes, it was this sort of behavior that got me into troubl;e in the past, being told i dont care what you say to others, its only how you talk to me thats important....does not justify....for a slut to act out as such in public is not appropriate, it can be handled more politely, than sounding as a truck driver.


quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross


quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet
If a stranger yells "Hey slut, go get me a drink." Replying "go get it yourself ass hole" may cause that person to be angry but he will have to take that up with your Dom. After all, unless your Dom says different only he alone can punish you.

For me, my owners have always expected me to deal with things as an adult. Running to him for little things like this would be considered wastes of both of our time and an inability for me to function as an adult.

Also, retorting back to someone like that is hardly graceful or the most mannerful way to handle outbursts.



_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 1/8/2006 1:59:31 PM   
Slaveless1


Posts: 105
Joined: 11/22/2005
Status: offline 		Nope,nada,never,won't do,shouldn't do, ha ha ha ha ...your kidding right?,

I firmly believe that a sub or slave should not give submission to anyone but their Master. You have your Masters' respect and trust...what does this so called dom/me have...a self given title.....poppycock. Laugh at them and walk away, let Master know and you both can have a laugh at their expense...

(in reply to infyniti)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: submissive to one or submissive to ALL? - 1/8/2006 4:25:42 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline 		I find I agree with krikket, candystrip, and slaveless.

You can't give to all what you give to one.

(in reply to Slaveless1)
Profile   Post #: 40
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