RE: A consensus of opinion on heavy play?

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RE: A consensus of opinion on heavy play? - 9/10/2008 5:07:17 PM

IvyMorgan

Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
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I'm inline with Sunny, black is a hanky that's earned, and it's given at the discretion of the top. That said, I only acknowledged mine when I felt that I'd done something to warrant it. When I'd chosen to go through the scene, when I'd enjoyed it and then pushed beyond "enjoyment", and when I'd worn the guy out :P

As far as "heavy play", sometimes I play heavy (and my litmus test is; are other people recoiling in horror, yes = heavy, no = not heavy) most times I don't. As long as I and my partner are happy, I don't really care what lable we stick on it.

(and left is top, right is bottom, mostly, regional variations happen.)

(in reply to Prinsexx)

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RE: A consensus of opinion on heavy play? - 9/11/2008 4:26:52 PM

aperversetwist

Posts: 48
Joined: 8/3/2008
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As was explained to me by a couple of lovely older gay men, the original intent of the hanky code was that it was a way of signalling what you are into to those who may be browsing your backside with an interest in getting to know you better. As a side note they also told me that the meaning of orange is taken differently by different folks, so wear it with caution. Depending on the side you choose to wear it on you may scare some folks off or invite unwelcome attention.

So no, hankys are not earned. They are something you wear to show an interest in an activity, to spark conversation and attract others into your kink. If you are into heavy S&M then stuff that black hanky in your back pocket, left if you're a top and right if you're a bottom.

Leather is something that was/is earned, hankys are worn to get things started in the right direction.

< Message edited by aperversetwist -- 9/11/2008 4:29:15 PM >

(in reply to IvyMorgan)

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RE: A consensus of opinion on heavy play? - 9/12/2008 2:06:14 PM

IvyMorgan

Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline

APT: I agree, hankies are just worn cos that's what you choose to wear. I'm not entirely sure where the idea that you have to "earn" your black came from, for me, just that it is an idea that I have, a belief if you will, and I didn't feel comfortable as "black" until I had earnt it.

If you're interested I was "orange" = "few limits" before that *smiles*

(in reply to aperversetwist)

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Post #: 43