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The Penis - 9/10/2008 8:42:52 PM   
MadAxeman


Posts: 4171
Joined: 8/28/2008
From: UK
Status: offline
 I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labour.
I work at great depths.
I plunge head first into everything I do.
I do not get weekends off or public holidays.
I work in a damp environment.
I don't get paid overtime.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

 
 Dear Penis,
After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep on the job after brief periods of time.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas.
You do not take initiative, you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You do not always observe necessary safety regulations, such has wearing the correct protective clothing.
You'll retire before reaching 65.
You're unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely
Management
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: The Penis - 9/11/2008 1:28:13 AM   
lilmissdefiant


Posts: 666
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline
LOL

_____________________________

Change what you can and accept what you can't.
He came to me one night. Explored my body, licked, sucked, swallowed! When satisfied, he left & I was hurt!!... Fu*king mosquito!

Resident Thread Killer

(in reply to MadAxeman)
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RE: The Penis - 9/11/2008 11:49:06 AM   
Gleegal67


Posts: 218
Joined: 6/18/2007
From: Phoenix
Status: offline
I love this every single time I read it!!! :D

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~always the gleeful one~

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RE: The Penis - 9/11/2008 12:27:37 PM   
BlackPhx


Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline
A Little  Employer/Employee Negotiation seems to be in order

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hez0oL5WTBQ&feature=related

Or if your really feeling whacked..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbYLcl0jV-c&NR=1
poenkitten

< Message edited by BlackPhx -- 9/11/2008 12:28:57 PM >

(in reply to MadAxeman)
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RE: The Penis - 9/15/2008 4:51:12 PM   
Sindel


Posts: 84
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline
rofl

(in reply to BlackPhx)
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RE: The Penis - 9/15/2008 4:53:03 PM   
KCherry


Posts: 2264
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: Send Help, Fla.
Status: offline
^_^ Hehehe. I like that one.

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RE: The Penis - 9/16/2008 11:43:06 AM   
zakkan


Posts: 606
Joined: 4/15/2008
Status: offline
The penis can still say:

My nearest neighbour is an asshole!


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Silence! I keel you!

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RE: The Penis - 9/20/2008 11:13:12 PM   
Esclava2one


Posts: 34
Joined: 9/17/2008
Status: offline
That was hilarious! I got a picture in my head of a penis with arms carrying bags and checking to see if anyone was looking.

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Only in service am i free.



*Proudly owned and collared by Master Brandon*

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RE: The Penis - 9/20/2008 11:23:14 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
LOL... would this be a union or non union position? 

(in reply to Esclava2one)
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RE: The Penis - 9/21/2008 12:32:21 AM   
dreamofthemoon


Posts: 10666
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline


_____________________________

dreamy

40 Fluffy points
Hibbie Chick!
Pure's jello shot!
Charter Member: Lance's Fag Hags!
A good egg, per DRH

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RE: The Penis - 9/21/2008 1:07:29 PM   
Saratov


Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

LOL... would this be a union or non union position? 


Depends on whether or not the owner is 'Getting Lucky'.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: The Penis - 9/21/2008 1:14:39 PM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline
well, i know this is in humor and all but i compulsively reply to all penis threads..i'm hardwired for it.  

i think they are drool, admiration, and lustworthy whether working hard or not.  i will always have a fond place for them in my hea....oh wait, i mean... 

_____________________________

i am woman! er, godzilla! hear me roar!

http://wavcentral.com/cgi-bin/log/log.cgi?id=2856&sound=/sounds/movies/godzilla/roar.mp3


He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to Saratov)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: The Penis - 9/21/2008 6:47:25 PM   
DaddyChess


Posts: 193
Joined: 4/11/2008
Status: offline
You can tell this was written by a women, for if it were written by a man...

The penis would ask for more work, exotic locations, lots of travel and to explore new places. 

(in reply to MadAxeman)
Profile   Post #: 13
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