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the biggest part of my submission is chastity - 9/11/2008 3:32:58 AM

sonofthedawn63

Posts: 21
Joined: 9/6/2008
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As a confirmed member of the genus "homo erectus" I of course have sexual needs. (Quite frequently to be honest;) but I never allow myself the pleasure of orgasm. Ever. This is what makes me what i am. I have had dommes tell me that they demand that I orgasm but frankly its not strictly about sex for me. Its about masochism,orgasm denial that makes me so damned submissive. I guess its wanting something we know we can't have. Makes us want it more, doesn't it?Thats why, as a bi, I am bottom only. And as a slave, more domestic helper and dungeon toy.Which brings up the poly home. The other slave can be her sex toy. I'll simply cleanup afterward.lol. So, you see, There are actually subs out there who don't demand sex. Who knew.

Post #: 1

RE: the biggest part of my submission is chastity - 9/11/2008 3:52:29 AM

Twicehappy2x

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Joined: 3/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sonofthedawn63

but I never allow myself the pleasure of orgasm. Ever. This is what makes me what i am.

I have had dommes tell me that they demand that I orgasm but frankly its not strictly about sex for me

Its about masochism,orgasm denial that makes me so damned submissive.

Which brings up the poly home. The other slave can be her sex toy. I'll simply cleanup afterward. There are actually subs out there who don't demand sex.

Couple of points here and good morning.

I sincerely hope you are a whole lot more than the denial of your orgasm. After having dealt with tons of male subs during our search for a fourth for this house, i can understand and often see that for some male subs once he comes he often loses his desire to submit for a period of time.

Obviously it is not about sex for you, it is about self control and self denial. So i question why? Does not letting yourself get off give you macho, i am in control type feelings? Because if you want a Domme to be in control then surely whether or not you get off is hers to control not yours.

And reflecting on both my comments above; if you can control your desire for orgasm, why not improve that great self control and use it to keep your submissive center in operation whether or not you orgasm. To me that seems to be a greater exercise in self control that simply controlling your orgasm, which, after all is mostly a trained physical control of a body function.

The last comment i copied, again, you want to control what the Domme decides for you, you want to keep that control for yourself, not surrender it to your Domme. Not saying this is right or wrong, not saying you cannot find this or negotiate for it, only an observation.

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Post #: 2

RE: the biggest part of my submission is chastity - 9/11/2008 7:29:51 AM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

As a Domme, I expected my male subs to have an erection as soon as they saw me. I told them that this was my "tribute" from them. It didn't matter if we were going to be sexual or not; I wanted to see that just being in my presence excited them. (And not one of them ever failed me.)

If I would have had a sub that refused to orgasm when commanded to because they felt more submissive not to, I would have dismissed them. The reason would not be for lack of orgasm, it would be because they purposely chose to take that power away from me and to top from the bottom. You might want to keep this in mind. While self control is a wonderful thing, and while you might be happy denying yourself and watching a Domme only with others, it should be her call.

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Post #: 3

RE: the biggest part of my submission is chastity - 9/11/2008 7:33:48 AM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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You don't "demand" sex but you "demand" to be clean up boy, be in chastity, and have your role defined by your lack of orgasms. It doesn't matter, it puts you in the same category as those that "demand" orgasms (point - they don't demand anything. it's their expectation). If you have your submissive essence tied into denial, it doesn't make you special. It makes you demanding.

How about finding out what makes the lady who connects with you tick, and adopting to HER kinks instead? Might make your search easier.

Akasha

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(in reply to sonofthedawn63)

Post #: 4

RE: the biggest part of my submission is chastity - 9/11/2008 7:37:10 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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If the sum total of your submission revolves around your denial of an orgasm, I hate to break it to you but it IS totally about sex. You refuse to partake, which means you are still as focused on it, though from another angle, as who desire it. I am just as put off by someone who refuses me sex as someone who demands it. Either way, you are putting your desires ahead of mine, which makes you less submissive.

My 2 cents.
DV

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(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 5

RE: the biggest part of my submission is chastity - 9/11/2008 7:44:56 AM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
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From your profile:

"Hello, I am a masochistic sub seeking a domme for eventual 25/7 wherein I may devote my life to pleasing her."

From your post:

" I never allow myself the pleasure of orgasm. Ever. This is what makes me what i am. I have had dommes tell me that they demand that I orgasm but frankly its not strictly about sex for me. Its about masochism,orgasm denial that makes me so damned submissive."

Sounds like a conflict of interest to me...

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(in reply to sonofthedawn63)

Post #: 6

RE: the biggest part of my submission is chastity - 9/11/2008 7:46:39 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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What everyone else said.

I saw a guy on the boards who is denying himself orgasms, as practice, I guess. Well, good for him, but isn't that a kind of reverse masturbation?

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Post #: 7

RE: the biggest part of my submission is chastity - 9/11/2008 7:50:10 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
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Speaking from the male dominant side of the coin here: I agree with what these femdominants have had to tell you. I make it clear up front that I am a sexually demanding dominant and that I will control the submissive's sexuality. That means that if I want them to be multi-orgasmic, they either will be or will learn to be. That means that if I choose to fuck them and get off but not allow them to, then that is what happens. That means that if I choose to take them through several orgasms but deny them MINE, then that is what happens. But that is MY choice as the dominant, not theirs as the submissive. Granted, tis easier when you find a submissive that goes along with that but one who would demand that I treat them that way? Thanks but no thanks...while I need to know what works best for them, I don't need to be told this is how I will do it for them. That is them controlling the situation, not me...and that is exactly what you are doing.

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Post #: 8

RE: the biggest part of my submission is chastity - 9/11/2008 9:03:25 AM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
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The biggest part of your submission is satisfying your fetish? You don't see the problem with that?

~stef

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Post #: 9

RE: the biggest part of my submission is chastity - 9/11/2008 12:30:30 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

What everyone else said.

I saw a guy on the boards who is denying himself orgasms, as practice, I guess. Well, good for him, but isn't that a kind of reverse masturbation?

No, I tried that once and it wasn't reverse masturbation. As a matter of fact, using a statistical analysis, I discovered that when I had an orgasm, I ended up much happier than when I did not orgasm. I don't understand it personally, but I'm just reporting the SPSS data results after analysis.

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Post #: 10

RE: the biggest part of my submission is chastity - 9/11/2008 1:25:53 PM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

Hi Folks,

Real quick like, I also agree that SotD isn't demonstrating submission or submissive qualities with his expectations. He certainly does fall firmly in the "kinky" and "fetish" camp though. Berating him for being a poor submissive seems counterproductive; he has an interest in chastity, domestic service, masochism, and orgasm denial. More power to him. I'm sure there are female dominants out there who want exactly that.

Understandably, had he chosen not to define his interests as 'submissive', I doubt he'd have experienced the same type of strong negative reaction.

Stephan

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Post #: 11

RE: the biggest part of my submission is chastity - 9/11/2008 2:48:05 PM

sonofthedawn63

Posts: 21
Joined: 9/6/2008
Status: offline

"the tongue is a mighty flame...."I think that I should shut my mouth and do what I'm told

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Post #: 12

RE: the biggest part of my submission is chastity - 9/11/2008 5:46:51 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sonofthedawn63

"the tongue is a mighty flame...."I think that I should shut my mouth and do what I'm told

But what if you're told to cum?

Jeff

(in reply to sonofthedawn63)

Post #: 13

RE: the biggest part of my submission is chastity - 9/11/2008 6:00:18 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

But if you refuse to obey when commanded to orgasm, then are you in this to please her or to get your masochism needs met? Seems to me it's the second and not the first.

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Post #: 14

RE: the biggest part of my submission is chastity - 9/12/2008 2:39:06 AM

UglyTruth

Posts: 126
Joined: 7/14/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sonofthedawn63

"the tongue is a mighty flame...."I think that I should shut my mouth and do what I'm told

Well, that would be submissive.

(in reply to sonofthedawn63)

Post #: 15

RE: the biggest part of my submission is chastity - 9/12/2008 6:50:56 PM

sonofthedawn63

Posts: 21
Joined: 9/6/2008
Status: offline

I have now learned what I didn't know. If I am told to cum....I will. Thank you all for being such wonderful teachers. I am, after all, learning

(in reply to UglyTruth)

Post #: 16

RE: the biggest part of my submission is chastity - 9/12/2008 6:53:04 PM

pompeii

Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline

I'm still trying to figure out what reverse masturbation is ...

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Post #: 17

RE: the biggest part of my submission is chastity - 9/12/2008 7:05:43 PM

HornyToadsMI

Posts: 287
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline

I am still shocked that men wont explode if denied orgasm......if I only knew that in highschool.....LOL

quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

I'm still trying to figure out what reverse masturbation is ...

Pompeii - wouldnt that be frustration? LOL

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Post #: 18

RE: the biggest part of my submission is chastity - 9/12/2008 7:48:27 PM

rook42

Posts: 110
Joined: 10/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

I'm still trying to figure out what reverse masturbation is ...

Janet Reno naked on a cold day. Yep. That'll turn ya inside out.

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Post #: 19

RE: the biggest part of my submission is chastity - 9/12/2008 8:48:51 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

Funny, you had some women here believing that "cumming" was a hard limit.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 9/12/2008 8:55:06 PM >

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Post #: 20

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